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Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Some things I will never understand


There are things that happen almost on a daily basis in my homeland that I will never understand. One of them happened...actually don't know when la...but it was in the front page of The Star today.

"LOST FRONTIER" the headline screamed.

First of all, what the hell kind of headline is that? The editor a sci-fi fan issit? Then I read on and it says...

"Kelantan's Lojing Highlands in danger of being logged bare"

Oh that's it issit? Some people are screwing our rainforests big time. I see. Then say so la. What's with this lost frontier crap?


Without even reading past the front page I discover that the Department of the Environment flers have found that 22 companies are carrying out logging there and that only 5 of them have environmental impact assessment (EIA) approval.

So my BIG question is SO???

So you know that 17 of those companies have broken the law. So? Arrest the baargers la. Confiscate their bulldozers, their chain saws, their trucks. Throw the book at the owners/directors of the companies. Send in the troops. The army and the Police Field Force both of whom have nothing much to do since the last communist has been banned from making an appearence. Better still send the RELA flers in to do some real work other than harassing poor ignorant Bangla and Myanmarese workers trying to make a decent living to feed their families back home.

The state UMNO liaison committee chairman says that UMNO will press the state government to freeze all logging activities pending an investigation.

What???!!! Press them to get off their arses when a law has obviously been broken? Very soon we'll be blowing up more foreigners and urging authorities to "look into it".

So we have the EIA approval process and then we also need to get the state Napoleons' permission to do anything about it?

So okay you say, they are UMNO flers making the noises so maybe they have to press la just so it doesn't look like a pre-election PR stunt. But the law has been broken. So where are those flers who are charged with upholding the law?

Oh I know.

Hello! Trees only what. Got people die ah? No right?

Jom pi mimum.


Monday, March 26, 2007

Knee Jerk-off

N.S. is for integration. So let's integrate the baargers!!!
(photo copied from here)

It is a small but nonetheless irritating ......


Malaysia must be the biggest knee-jerk reaction country on the planet. Don’t like this or that. Ban! Fast food not good for kids. Ban the advertising. Rock concerts no good for youth. Ban. Films with the word ‘Communist’ in the title. Ban.

The latest knee-jerk reaction was in the papers yesterday and today. Did you read about it?

Rape, sexual harassment in National Service camps. Reaction? Segregate the sexes. Have all girl camps. All female trainers.

And of course the first jerk, oh sorry I of course meant knee-jerk expert, to come out and endorse this action is none other than the chairman of the NS Training Council, Mr. Lee “it’s not my fault. I am only the chairman of the council” Lam Thye. This time his excuse is that parents have also asked for this action to be taken so that their children will be safe. Imagine, after a few decades of this sexual segregation we might breed a whole generation of girls and boys who go, “Huh? You mean got girls/boys in the world meh?”. “Eh? Touch and see. Oooh…nice……” Then the whole thing starts over.

Thankfully, our DPM, in a rare display of rational thought processing, has temporarily put a stop to this particular knee-jerk. And our Sharizat also came out with a gem. She said, “We should build resilience and teach them what is right or wrong and lawful and unlawful.” Yay! Finally, intelligence from politicians.

Now to make sure this lasts.



Lee Lam Thye is a......

1. jerk

2. jerk-off

3. jerk off afficionado

4. compulsive knee jerker

5. moron

No prizes for guessing the right answer or all of

the above.


Friday, March 23, 2007

We going to suck another Lemon

Photo from here.

I had always thought, although I can’t remember why now, that Rais Yatim is an intelligent, smart, well educated man. I am not so sure now. In recent months he’s shown himself just as big a dick as any other politicians. Bok House got no heritage value la. Then suddenly some other similar house in Penang that used to belong to some mamak jeweler got plenty of heritage value and got history some more la. Yesterday he did it again.

He’s announced the “Plan for a movie village” (The Star N27 Thursday 22 March 2007.

Seems that the Culture, Arts and Heritage ministry together with the Science, Technology and Innovation ministry and the Energy, Water and Telecommunications ministries are combining forces to conceptualize and establish a center for the nation’s movie-making industry.

A few questions here la, YB. Can ah?

Have you forgotten the E-Village that was launched with so much fanfare by Dr. M some years ago? If I am not mistaken it was also to establish a center for the Malaysian movie-making industry. I think Jackie Chan also came to cut the ribbon and watch the lion dance and kompang and shake hands with that Vision 2020 fler with great hindsight that one. E-Village. Movie capital of the region. Animation center to rival Disney and Lucas. What’s happened to it now? The jungle has taken back the land I think and the only things being made there is animal shit. Now there’s going to be another one?

What the hell is the ministry of Energy, Water and Telecommunications doing making movies? To make sure they got enough water and electricity and that their phones work issit?

If those flers in charge of what Malaysian moviegoers can and cannot see cannot take out whatever they have up their backsides and continue to ban the last communist and all what’s a movie village going to achieve for anybody? And please don’t tell me that the village is going to attract the Hollywood flers to come and make movies here because our village is so canggih etc or I will throw up some culture on your lap.

Rais, you might also want to remember that you were there to launch a movie about a Malay musician who falls in love with a girl and has to decide between his music and his love. Not exactly ground breaking stuff issit? Surely they don’t need a village to film that in. Any mamak stall round the corner will do what.


Go here to read about the spectacular collapse of the E-Village. Will there be the long awaited sequel?


Thursday, March 22, 2007

Tabik,tuan...errr...datuk...your majesty...

Traffic jam in Petaling Street, Kuala Lumpur. Photo from here.

This ain’t going to much of a comeback after such a long lay-off. But what to do? Brain halt syndrome.


Like many Malaysians, I am sure, I was pleasantly surprised to learn that our police force is one of the oldest if not the oldest police force in the entire planet! Hey, Malaysia Boleh man!

So when I glanced at the papers this morning and saw that there was something going on about some re-branding exercise my curiousity was pricked. Apparently, the Inspector-General of Police, Tan Sri Musa Hassan whom I only recently discovered is the brother of that fler with the botoxed smiley phrase “Whoooooooooooo wants to be a millionaire” and other wooden soap roles, wants to introduce a new vision and mission for the PDRM.

“Royal Malaysia Police Towards Global Distinction”

Great. It’s good to dream and hope.

“I have to make changes for the better for the re-branding of the force”

Good also. I sokong.

He also wants to enhance the level of training of police recruits. He wants to upgrade the efficiency of investigations. He wants to improve the service scheme of the force to attract more people into building a career in the force.

All very good la. Hopefully, his visions all filter down to his subordinate officers la.

On the front page of The Star today, Federal CID chief, Christopher Wan was quoted as saying that there is no need for members of the public to address police officers by other than a simple Encik or Puan. A Dato or Tuan will not get you preferential service, he said. WE TREAT EVERYONE EQUALLY was his claim.

True ah?

I, for one have never been inclined to address any policeman by other than the name on his tag. But to say that these flers treat everyone equally is a bit much la. If that is true……

Why are the cars parked illegally at the corner of Jalan Sultan Ismail that curves around Lot 10 and other 5-star buildings like Starhill always those big Mercedes Benz’s and BMW’s more often than not with single digit plates? Why do I consistently witness traffic policemen shoo-ing away illegally parked Protons and MyVi’s and Kancils at the arrival hall driveway of the KLIA while the Mercs and Beemers appear to be above the law? And why are Mercs and Beemers and Lexus’s always parked on the leftmost lane of Jalan Sultan Ismail outside the Shangri-la Hotel, KL screwing up one whole road lane for road tax paying slobs like us. This despite the presence of a police pondok less than 20 meters away? Equal? Where got?

And then ah these flers say they want to make the PDRM regain public confidence in its credibility. So what has been happening the last few days?

The roads in and around Kuala Lumpur city center have been choked with bumper-to-bumper jams. Why? Those flers have been closing roads for preparations for some parade or celebration in conjunction with the bicentennial Police Day on March 25. Traffic policemen are nowhere to be seen. Probably busy marching up and down somewhere in preparation for the big day. Pissed a lot of Malaysians off I daresay. So much for one vision then. Hope the others work.