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Friday, April 06, 2007

VMY2007 already la. Know or not? Niamah!!!

Each time I cross the border down south to Singapore I get a boost of patriotism which is most often manifested in a much lowered level of tolerance for things Malaysian that don't work.

The latest incident happened to me just a couple of hours ago at the immigration checkpoint at the 2nd Link. Travelling light I jumped off the bus and walked ahead of all the kiasu Singaporeans into the building so can be more kiasu lor. Beat the queue ma. Of course, I was headed for the two automated lanes which had machines that would read our chip encoded state-of-the-art passports. But this is Malaysia, right. So...

1. One of the lanes had an orange colored traffic cone in front of it which meant that it was "rosak". But never mind the 2nd one was open for business.

2. I stepped in and the barrier closed. I took one look at the slot for the passsport and had this shudder. It has a piece of cardboard cello-taped over it. I inserted my passport into the slot. Nothing happened. I tapped the machine. Nothing happened. I kicked it. Nothing happened. And I was trapped. The barriers on either end were closed and I couldn't get out.

Of course, in the meantime the Singaporeans who were queueing in the normal check-in lanes had smirks on their faces. I tell you ah. I was feeling damn malu man.

After a couple of minutes of me standing there like a goon-du, this tudunged girlie comes over and tells me with a straight face, "Rosak la."
So I looked at her with a look on my face that said, "So how the F*** am I going to get out of this shit hole?"

"Nanti, nanti, nanti..." (ever notice how Malaysians think that by repeating themselves they somehow make things better?) She tapped the machine. She looked at it. She almost wanted to kick it. Finally, she gave up and waved for some pegawai to come across to help her. Some guy with a disinterested look came over. Looked at me and said, "Rosak." REVELATION!!! I was almost going to say, "How the..." but he took dog-earred card out of his pocket and tapped it on the sensor and the barrier opened. I went to one of the normal check-in lanes and lined up sheepishly behind the Singaporeans who were by now laughing audibly. Damn malu man, I tell you.

I said in a loud voice when I reached the counter, "Pak Lah didn't come here yet ah?" Got some dirty looks from the pegawai-pegawai. Well, Pak Lah you did some good shit when you visited the immigration department in KL and I managed to renew my state-of-the-art Malaysian passport renewed in under 2 hours. I think it is time to go check on the fler who is in charge of the Johor immigration department. And kick his ass. I mean what is so difficult about keeping some dumb machines in working condition so that we don't have to be malu in front of our foreign visitors.

Hello, this is Visit Malaysia Year isn't it? So what? Want people to come here for satay and some good belly laughs issit?

p/s I can't upload any photos for this post because I am posting from my brother's pc in Singapore. Also the streamyx service in my area of the developed state has been kaput for the past couple of days. "It will take 2 to 3 working days and here is your report number..."

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Can I hep shoe?

Doe a deer, a female deer...ray a drop of golden sun.......

(Photo taken from here)
Now I really regret that I didn't keep that newspaper the other day which reported that some Yang Berhormat or Yang Berbahagia announced that our university graduates or at least those that scored below a certain level although still graduating would be required to attend a mandatory month-long English language course.

Sounds like more tax-payers money down the toilet or into somebody's pockets. What is 1 month going to do for those English language challenged flers? So they can say, "Can I hep shoe?" instead of "Apa? Tak tahu la."


I just re-read the first sentence above. I think I better go enrol in this month long course also la. Of course, I have to get a university degree first la.

"Apa? Tak boleh ka?"


Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Don't worry I do for you, okay?

Don't worry, WE do for you, okay?
( image by Jorge Candeias, 30 June 2005)

Malaysia has a population of…what?…22, 24 million? No la. Close to 27 million actually. But the fate of the entire country is dependent on a group of politicians who are voted in by less than 7 million voters. Scary isn’t it?

I made this deduction after reading from the newspapers today about how many Malaysians are actually eligible but not registered voters.

The newspaper story also revealed that the main urban centres of Selangor, Perak, Johor and the Federal Territory of Kuala Lumpur make up the largest bloc of non-registered voters. This despite the fact that urban dwellers are mostly well-educated, affluent and should be the first ones in line to want a hand in managing the country of their birth and the provider of their fortunes. But no la.

Like the editorial in the NST said, those least concerned with participating in the democratic process are often among those reaping the greatest benefits from the system. And probably are those who complain and tokkok the loudest. Why ah? On the surface I suppose it isn’t so difficult to understand. Urban flers who have education and good paying jobs look around at what is happening and just shrug their shoulders and say, “Naer mine la. I work hard. Save money. Send my children all to Perth. Maybe one day I will buy a house in Perth. Apply P.R. lor."

"Yes, boss what can I do for you? Come I get for you. No problem la.”

Why is this the scenario? Well, it doesn’t take a genius to tell you, right? It’s been 50 years since Merdeka. And the successive administrations have done their work brilliantly. NEP, Bahasa Malaysia which became Bahasa Melayu, discounted housing for certain Malaysians, cronyism which affects all irregardless of race, new I.C. old I.C.…etc. etc.

So think about it. The fate of 27 million Malaysians decided by the votes of less than 7 million. And we think those baargers in the blaardy garmen are the stoopid ones? Think again.

Or better still, register now and make sure YOU vote at the next General Election.