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Niamah!!! Chinese version YorMarder!!! http://niamahinchinese.blogspot.com/

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Have cash can blast off

Adam: Apa the f**k!!!

A rather obscure story on page T13 of yesterday's (June 11, 2007) Star's Lifestyle section caught my eye and almost made me choke on a tablespoon of breakfast cereal.

The headline read Have Cash Can Blast Off. Anyone can book a tour to outer space, so long as he can fork out RM70million.

What???!!! And we have been led to believe that one of those 2 clowns that are being groomed to be Malaysia's first astronaut or angkasawan.
And what a pissy name for a potential hero. Manufactured or otherwise. Just doesn't have a hero type sound to it like astronaut or cosmonaut or Hang Tuah or even Yap Ah Loy la.)

Okay, okay so we've known all along that it was a scam to make us believe that Malaysia's angasawan was going to be some sort of achiever who was going to space for scientific research and returning a hero or at least a Dato. We've all known that it was a complete waste of our money but then we also thought that okay la if the baarger can endure some intense astronaut training and all and risk his life doing it then I guess we can all be proud of having him go out there. But now we find out that any Tom, Dick or Harris can do the same thing if he has the money to burn.

So it's all about store bought fame again la. What the f**k la?! As if we don't have enough things to spend good money on ah? How about alleviating the flood situation in our capital city? How about more playing fields for our school children so that one day we can proudly welcome home a triumphant Malaysian football team? How about spending some of that money on getting computers for our rural schools? And speaking of money if the fler in the USA can sell a holiday trip to outer space for RM70million how much are we spending? And if it is more than 70 million shouldn't we start a Royal Commission or something to find out why?

And if anybody with money can go what does that say about us? That we have the Malaysia Boleh spirit or that we have money to burn to manufacture plastic cut-out heroes that nobody will remember past the next school holidays?

NIAMAH!!

39 comments:

Bob Goh said...

This shows the leadership quality of our country. They seem like to spend money to glorify our country image.

Anonymous said...

patrick, at least the niamahfulat goverment have money to spend, what to do...better than going to their pockets...anyway they have all sorts of idea about losing money besides the great proton.

FoggyDuo said...

Pat, with the kind of exposure that Adam is getting on your blog, he is going to have loads of people queueing up for his autograph. Dont forget to charge them!!

As to money-wastage - so what else is new in boleh-land? As long as the money doesn't go on things that benefit the rakyat then the gahmen sure say boleh lah!

Anonymous said...

There are just too many Malaysia Bodoh!
After the first Malaysian team conquered Mt Everest, these Bodoh keep sending Bodoh2 to Everest using our money.
What's next, keep sending Bodoh to space using our money again?

zewt said...

hey pat... supplying computers to rural area is a bad bad idea... means they will be able to have access to internet and then read blogs like yours... bad bad bad... know what i mean?

daniel said...

Buy product A and get two product B FOC. Only in this case the jet fighters cost several billion, we get to send two extras into space while the commission is still paid to the guys who made the deal.

yauwenchin said...

Dear all niamahs' friends. Niamah is correct ah. I remember reading we spend about RM100million so send our Ankasawan or Angsanawan or Cawan into space eh. Where the f**k is the remaining RM30million goes to, bargirl! or Baarger? Patrick is right, set up a Royal Commission to investigate. Our friend is who was sent up day with our RM100 million will float in the space for fame and come back a Dato' ship and when he reach his house near Salak SOuth, you can imagine on his face, niamah, where is my house, what? Flood? where the f**k is my house? The he will weep and make a public apology for using the RM100million for his trip to space and he could not save his house from wash away by Flood.

NIAMAH!!

Anonymous said...

Pat, there was one time my friend and myself considering writing a book on Malaysia Boleh, or what we call Malaysia Bodoh, later we found out , walau eh, it will be more than 100 volumes of 10,000 pages each. Chia lat eh, cannot even finish in next life ah. So, we occasionally do need these kiasu or kiasi people to make us look good.

What I can say,
couldn't be bother
boh chap siu (hokkien)
sek si (cantonese)
kan ma ter (mandarin)
!@@#$%^&& (international)

Niamah.

built62 said...

i would say 70mil is cheap la for...

fly me to the moon, play among the stars and get to see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars...

hahaha...

amelia said...

How ironic! So much for the glorified publicity for our angkasawans!

Nick Phillips, MY said...

Do we even have to ask where the money is going?

dragonfish said...

70,000,000.00 for a trip to outer space... x2 'heroes' is 140,000,000.00

90,000,000.00 to repair some leaks..

I think trip to space better, can save 20mil right?

dumb fucks!

HoHoHoHo said...

Aiyoh! Don't be so kiasu-la, all of you. You want some glamour, can oso one. Being ankasawan is a bit difficult to achieve but can become Mat Rempit-la - this one is easier... can go skydive in North Pole.

Now, how many of you have been to the North Pole?

No? Go here-la, see only, ya? Don't be jealous now...

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2007/5/3/nation/17609523&sec=nation

Anonymous said...

this success mission will lead the next - Mat Rempit in the space!!!

Radical Scope said...

ah, it's actually 2 angkasawans, and a bottle of budu. 70million for a trip to the space?! we haven't even add up the cost of training the space duo. look at how our government is spending money, and we're not even free from poverty yet! had we not send the angkacawans, and used the money to subsidize the oil and what not, wouldn't our quality of life be better?

zorro said...

Patrick, remember this old story but applicable today. After the intense training our Malaysian astronaut was given his manual of instructions. However it was only one page and it read: Your button is the blue button. When the blue button bleeeps, hit the button with your name on it. Everyday , and for the rest of the trip, at 1800hrs the blue button bleeps, our friend religiously hit his name-button and the message on his console commands: GO FEED THE MONKEYS.
The experiment-monkeys should have been taught to hit their food-dispenser button instead of having to be fed by a malaysian astronaut! That's carrying 'love the animals' too far into space! RM70 million did you say?....and our minimum wages have not been revised. I say Lun-bird (in hokkien)!

zorro said...

Patrick, I see the seed of a "method actor" in Adam, a la Brando.Hugs to Min, please.

crazyant said...

What did you expect? If they can spend millions to send those idiotic mat rempits to sky dive in the North Pole and 'turn them around', sending two space tourists and plant a Malaysian flag there is sure gonna bring 'fame' to Bolehland. Syok sendiri is nothing new ah... I wonder if they are really going to carry out whatever "scietific tests" given to them after the much frowned upon teh tarik in space suggestion. After all, they aren't really astronauts and know nothing about aeronautical science? More like ASStronauts...

Justice Seek said...

Well said Patrick. For a long time I have been wondering what the F*%# the government is doing with the stupid, money wasting space programme. Sending one dentist to space to see if we can do teh tarik when there's no gravity? What kind of research is that?

Check out: http://kowsai.blogspot.com

Ta!

Anonymous said...

Patrick, I remember that these cawan were part n parcel when we purchased the multi-billion dollar weapons/jet fighters from the russians.. otherwise, I dun think we can even get a spot in the spacecraft.. But I am sad le when s'one said malaysian bodoh, cuz I am malaysian too man..! I love your other postings, but this one.. please le..pick other things such as the smart tunnel ke..

abubin said...

hey dude!! Cool blog. Niamah!!

Just want to know is this really patrick teoh's blog or just some kid trying to be funny by using some celebrity's name in his/her blog?

Din said...

Wait, RM70 million for 1 person, right?

So 2 clowns is RM140 million?

Niamah, RM140 million can almost build one-third of a new palace already!!

We need 1 more new palace to replace the old one lah! Can't these idiots see importance of building a new palace that will eradicate poverty and lead to a more efficient and corruption-free country???

mob1900 said...

abubin,
Certified Pat's blog-lah, his style of rants nobody can imitate wan! lolx

As for the BolehKontotNauts, I've ranted too much oredi, tax money for sending 2 buffoons into space. *sigh

Anonymous said...

Mr Pak Lah and Jeannie are in Moscow perhaps to buy more armaments or trade and maybe negotiate a "honeymoon for two" in space.

Hmmmm. They could be the first First Couple to couple in space during a honeymoon. Not bad eh?

GP said...

mob1900: "Pat"? I thought it's Mr. Teoh to you and us minions, buddy :)

patrickteoh said...

If Pak Lah strikes another deal with the Russians watch out for more cockaminny ideas to hit our Malaysian record books.

Thanks mob for clearing up that identity crisis. And please don't insult buffoons by placing those flers in their category. Thank you.

No, no Din they are only sending one clown up. Not two. Phew!

I am a bit out of date here but I just read in The Sun that some fucker actually flew to the North Pole base station to present a Malaysian flag to the group of sorry asses that tax payers money are dragging across the Pole to achieve some record or other that nobody wants to know about. What the shit??!!

Good one about the monkeys, Zorro. Those simians have always had a good laugh at some of their distant cousins who inhabit places like parliament and local councils etc.

Tinesh said...

hey uncle pat..my first time reading your blog. filled with insight and humour..good job la uncle..and like V says in the movie: the gomen should be scared of the people..

sepette said...

There's no such thing as a waste of money here sir... you cannot put a price on the photo-ops that this whole angkasawan crap will provide to those damn politicians. priceless, I tell you, priceless!

"I stand by this man. I stand by this man, because he stands for things. Not only for things, he stands on things, things like aircraft carriers and rubble and recently flooded city squares. And that sends a strong message, that no matter what happens to America, she will always rebound with the most powerfully staged photo-ops in the world." ~ Stephen Colbert's presidential smackdown at last year's White House Correspondents' Dinner.

Same thing la... The next time KL gets flooded, they can release a new pic of those beaming space-tourist candidates, just to remind us how lucky we are to be living in Malaysia, instead of Ghana or Botswana etc etc.

plim said...

American spaceman = Astronaut,
Russian spaceman = Cosmonaut,
Chinese spaceman = Taikonaut,
Malaysian spaceman = Can-or-not !

bean said...

Last week papers - Smart tunnel will only divert 45% of flood waters.....@#$#$???

Spent billions and only 45% effectiveness...??? Who approved the project???? Niamah.....

plim said...

American spaceman = Astronaut,
Russian spaceman = Cosmonaut,
Chinese spaceman = Taikonaut,
Malaysian spaceman = Can-or-not !

blueapple said...

Its Patrick Teoh!!!
Tan Sri Michaelsoft got blog arr...
Keep up the good work!!
Blast them OFF!!!

Anonymous said...

They could be the first First Couple to couple in space during a honeymoon. Yeah, leave them up them and don't ever bring them back because the country will be better off without those two

Helen said...

Damn, it's sure good coming hear listening to you shooting them off. lol

hitman said...

Can u all remember "Capricorn one" the movie which they faked the moon landing?Maybe they will fake this one and some scumbag will pocket the balance after the expenses of prop setup , sound stage rental ,Geeorge Lucas special effects and directors fees err.... commission fees ....Malaysia Boleh!!!!

Anonymous said...

HOW TO EFFECTIVELY RULE A NATION 101 ..and get wat u and your buddies wanted without suspicions or questions....

1) have a simple education system - one that don't encourage creative and critical thinking.A MUST ! Without this, nothing can be started..!

2) adopt a religion favoured by the majority as the country's official religion..Much like wat Emperor Constantine of ROME did by adopting popular Chritianity to rule over areas populated by Christians. When u say "I am also a member", no one will object u in anything.( Constantine is not even a Christian hmself!)He later changes everything to suit himself!

3) once in a while, now this is absolutely A MUST! : U must built some highly visible stuffs, no matter how expensive it cost or whether u can afford it or not, just to make the people u rule have a sense of direction and to feel comfortable relying on u...Since the so-so education systm made them uncritical, most will actually feel proud of wat u did!

Anonymous said...

HOW TO EFFECTIVELY RULE A NATION 101 ..and get wat u and your buddies wanted without suspicions or questions....

1) have a simple education system - one that don't encourage creative and critical thinking.A MUST ! Without this, nothing can be started..!

2) adopt a religion favoured by the majority as the country's official religion..Much like wat Emperor Constantine of ROME did by adopting popular Chritianity to rule over areas populated by Christians. When u say "I am also a member", no one will object u in anything.( Constantine is not even a Christian hmself!)He later changes everything to suit himself!

3) once in a while, now this is absolutely A MUST! : U must built some highly visible stuffs, no matter how expensive it cost or whether u can afford it or not, just to make the people u rule have a sense of direction and to feel comfortable relying on u...Since the so-so education systm made them uncritical, most will actually feel proud of wat u did!

zebunny said...

Even with all the brouhaha going on in the media for these "angkasawan" doing justice to our hard earned dollars, they should just rename them to "canornauts". Same goes to our beloved government since they have their heads in space most of the time. Lame... so sue me.

Brian said...

I can send them off to space with home-made rockets though for less than 100k ... :) Any takers ?

Terms & Conditions:

a) Upfront payment in cash.

b) One way ticket. Return trip not possible.

c) Time in space unspecified. Can be as long as forever to less than 1 second.

d) Complementary will-writing service, coffin and funeral services if applicable.

e) Government hospital service and government ambulances on standby. Please note: standby does means immediate reaction and service.

APA MACHIAM ?? MAU ?? THEY CAN MAKE ROTI CANAI, TEH TARIK, ANYTHING ...
I dun care n I dun think you would too ... lolx

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