Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Vote Jeff Ooi. Please!
Imagine that I am a spin doctor for the BN. Jeff Ooi is a respected and much read blogger with hits in the millions to his blogs. When Jeff speaks people listen and they support him in his independent fight against corruption, bad governance etc. Frankly, he's becoming a big irritant in the sides of my BN bosses la. What should I do about this guy ah?
I would use the resources at my command to help Jeff Ooi continue to build his high profile with bloggers and other 'connected' members of the rakyat. I will engineer expose's for him to blog about. In fact ah no need to engineer also la. Since there is so much going on these days, right? If these are real ones that don't involve my bosses' cronies then he will be doing me a favor also. If they are 'sensitive' we can always use ISA ma.
But I will do what I can to help Ooi (from way behind the scenes of course) to 'find' new and innovative ways to build up his support level to the point when he and his 'army' will seriously think that Ooi should run for election. Become a member of parliament. And use his powerful voice in that august house (hahahaha) to champion his causes.
I will make sure he wins in whichever constituency he chooses to stand. How we make sure? Hiyah you know la we have ways one. Yeah make sure he wins. Actually, we don't mind even pouring money (we have lots of that la) into his campaign in rather 'invisible' ways la. Okay so Ooi wins and he becomes an M.P. Then we've got him.
He is now a member of parliament. Good. Now whatever he has to say we will silence him with our two thirds majority which of course we will maintain la. Huh? We have ways of ensuring that one. Don't worry. Some more the newspapers, radio and television, which we control, will do their part in making sure that Ooi becomes less and less 'vocal' in the mainstream media. Huh? Eh hello do you know what the penetration of the Internet is in Malaysia ah? No need to worry one la. Some more ah, now that he is a politician he would have lost a lot of the support he had when he was an independent blogger watchdog. You must remember that those who disagree with and criticize the BN policies are not necessary supporters of any opposition party you know.
So okay...Ooi is now effectively neutralised.
He will have a few years of raving and ranting in parliament and at by-elections or whatever. Then we will engineer some "expose" on him. He will quit politics. Take up our parting 'gift' of a dozen or so seats on the boards of public listed companies. Chair some government linked agencies to research the effects of palm oil on the Malaysian libido or something important like that la. Play golf a bit with Lee Lam Thye...
So everything kao tim.
Scary or not? But it is just a dream of mine la. Cannot happen one la. Right?