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Niamah!!! in Chinese

Niamah!!! Chinese version YorMarder!!!

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Vote Jeff Ooi. Please!

(or somebody buy me a nose hair trimmer please.)

There in the chat box there are a couple of visitors who seem to think that I should go into politics. I do not know why they think that and that is not the reason for this post. The reason is a strangely scary dream that I had some weeks ago. Not nightmare level. Just scary. I had this scary dream a couple of days after I learned that Jeff Ooi was joining the DAP and would probably stand for election in the next one planned. So what's so scary la? Well, think about it this way...

Imagine that I am a spin doctor for the BN. Jeff Ooi is a respected and much read blogger with hits in the millions to his blogs. When Jeff speaks people listen and they support him in his independent fight against corruption, bad governance etc. Frankly, he's becoming a big irritant in the sides of my BN bosses la. What should I do about this guy ah?

I would use the resources at my command to help Jeff Ooi continue to build his high profile with bloggers and other 'connected' members of the rakyat. I will engineer expose's for him to blog about. In fact ah no need to engineer also la. Since there is so much going on these days, right? If these are real ones that don't involve my bosses' cronies then he will be doing me a favor also. If they are 'sensitive' we can always use ISA ma.

But I will do what I can to help Ooi (from way behind the scenes of course) to 'find' new and innovative ways to build up his support level to the point when he and his 'army' will seriously think that Ooi should run for election. Become a member of parliament. And use his powerful voice in that august house (hahahaha) to champion his causes.

I will make sure he wins in whichever constituency he chooses to stand. How we make sure? Hiyah you know la we have ways one. Yeah make sure he wins. Actually, we don't mind even pouring money (we have lots of that la) into his campaign in rather 'invisible' ways la. Okay so Ooi wins and he becomes an M.P. Then we've got him.

He is now a member of parliament. Good. Now whatever he has to say we will silence him with our two thirds majority which of course we will maintain la. Huh? We have ways of ensuring that one. Don't worry. Some more the newspapers, radio and television, which we control, will do their part in making sure that Ooi becomes less and less 'vocal' in the mainstream media. Huh? Eh hello do you know what the penetration of the Internet is in Malaysia ah? No need to worry one la. Some more ah, now that he is a politician he would have lost a lot of the support he had when he was an independent blogger watchdog. You must remember that those who disagree with and criticize the BN policies are not necessary supporters of any opposition party you know.

So okay...Ooi is now effectively neutralised.

He will have a few years of raving and ranting in parliament and at by-elections or whatever. Then we will engineer some "expose" on him. He will quit politics. Take up our parting 'gift' of a dozen or so seats on the boards of public listed companies. Chair some government linked agencies to research the effects of palm oil on the Malaysian libido or something important like that la. Play golf a bit with Lee Lam Thye...

So everything kao tim.

Scary or not? But it is just a dream of mine la. Cannot happen one la. Right?



zewt said...

*clap clap* ....

pat... what are u trying to say here?

patrickteoh said...

What am I trying to say? It's just my conspiracy theory dream lor. LOL

Anonymous said...

then we must make sure that jeff gets into parliament to see if your dream come true eh?

zewt said...

if that is the case...i also wanna join DAP la... kakakakakaka....

Russ said...

Pat I dont think you're a very good 'dreamer' lah, but u sure are a bloody good physic! My balls are hairy- not crystal, but I have a hunch that what you've dreamt will most probably come true! The gomen (or all gomes for that matter) have a way of 'kao tim'ing matters.. one man can try, but will he make a difference without the support of the rest?

Anonymous said...

If Jeff Ooi is that good, then he should not run anywhere else but stand in his neighbourhood, Subang Jaya or thereabouts. See if he can win.

Maxforce said...

"Be careful when you fight the monsters, lest you become one"
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Is that why you re not considering politics, Mr Patrick?

pengunileongtian said...

no lah. Jeff Ooi will make a positive difference.

agnos said...

hi pat - your dream sounds like a once upon a time strongman of a certain opposition party who "suddenly" quit after a trip overseas or something like that.

are u having deja-vu? maybe you can dig deeper into your dreams and give us more?? (btw, i have high respect of Jeff so i honestly think you are experiencing a deja-vu .. it is not Jeff in your dream... he was playing chess with me when you was dreaming... :-)


Ben said...

Aiyah why you talk like that one? Very scary for Adam and his friends, we want bright future for all Malaysians ma.

Better go and vote and tell all your studio people also must go and do their job properly. I like your theatre kaki. They make fun of VIP one.

We like good people only, don't choose lousy one after stuck another 4 years very sian. OK, PCK calling me oredy. I like Adam, he so cute, Bye.

Anonymous said...

Lets see wat's Adam's future is like if things are the same as usual...hmmm..
- He will complete his education in gomen school till secondary..struggling bcos of frequent switch btw BM or english medium of instructions in math and science..untill that poor kid is fedup or loose interests in studys..
-If he makes it tru secoundary, he will have to fight for his chance into local unis, bcos priority is not for him even if is a high scorer! So if Pat is rich enough, u'll have to sent him to overseas unis or some twinning progm locally..
- If he can study..he goes to uni..
- If he can't study.. he goes to some pte local institute.. come out..probably u intro him into broadcasting business or start a businee for him if u have the dol.. otherwise, he can't get jobs in public sector and have to look for jobs in pte sectors like: Law firms /accounting firms ..again, he'll have to fight with the quota sh*t..god forbid, lets not hope that he get attracted to work as a debt-collector for Ah-longs (bcos pay is very high, around RM100/day!)..or taking football bets for bookies...(also a high pay job)..

- If he wan to start business on his own and u r rich enough to give him a financial head-start, fine. If not, he 'll have a very hard time getting bank loans and he can't get any assistance from gomen as well...

So,lets all hope Adam can be a high scorer in school and come out as a highly trained professional. Or he can get a fresh break and have a fresh live living in overseas...Good luck Adam!