The latest incident happened to me just a couple of hours ago at the immigration checkpoint at the 2nd Link. Travelling light I jumped off the bus and walked ahead of all the kiasu Singaporeans into the building so can be more kiasu lor. Beat the queue ma. Of course, I was headed for the two automated lanes which had machines that would read our chip encoded state-of-the-art passports. But this is Malaysia, right. So...
1. One of the lanes had an orange colored traffic cone in front of it which meant that it was "rosak". But never mind the 2nd one was open for business.
2. I stepped in and the barrier closed. I took one look at the slot for the passsport and had this shudder. It has a piece of cardboard cello-taped over it. I inserted my passport into the slot. Nothing happened. I tapped the machine. Nothing happened. I kicked it. Nothing happened. And I was trapped. The barriers on either end were closed and I couldn't get out.
Of course, in the meantime the Singaporeans who were queueing in the normal check-in lanes had smirks on their faces. I tell you ah. I was feeling damn malu man.
After a couple of minutes of me standing there like a goon-du, this tudunged girlie comes over and tells me with a straight face, "Rosak la."
"Nanti, nanti, nanti..." (ever notice how Malaysians think that by repeating themselves they somehow make things better?) She tapped the machine. She looked at it. She almost wanted to kick it. Finally, she gave up and waved for some pegawai to come across to help her. Some guy with a disinterested look came over. Looked at me and said, "Rosak." REVELATION!!! I was almost going to say, "How the..." but he took dog-earred card out of his pocket and tapped it on the sensor and the barrier opened. I went to one of the normal check-in lanes and lined up sheepishly behind the Singaporeans who were by now laughing audibly. Damn malu man, I tell you.
I said in a loud voice when I reached the counter, "Pak Lah didn't come here yet ah?" Got some dirty looks from the pegawai-pegawai. Well, Pak Lah you did some good shit when you visited the immigration department in KL and I managed to renew my state-of-the-art Malaysian passport renewed in under 2 hours. I think it is time to go check on the fler who is in charge of the Johor immigration department. And kick his ass. I mean what is so difficult about keeping some dumb machines in working condition so that we don't have to be malu in front of our foreign visitors.
Hello, this is Visit Malaysia Year isn't it? So what? Want people to come here for satay and some good belly laughs issit?