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Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Daily mysteries

News is intended to inform and perhaps enlighten, right? Well at least that's what I thought for most of my life. But apparently in Malaysia our news, or at least the news we get from the main stream media (MSM) is calculated to mystify. Today's STAR is full of mysteries.

On the front page..."Govt to flood market with 70,000 tonnes of cooking oil".

Eh? For the past few days the news was all about cooking oil shortage...

Manufacturers can't make enough fast enough...Subsidised cooking oil is being smuggled out of the country...Selfish people are hoarding...and there were a few more reasons which I can't even bother to remember.

And then suddenly......"Govt to flood market with 70,000 tonnes of cooking oil".

Now where did the government get the extra cooking oil from? And we ain't talking about two bottles or 5kg you know. We talking 70,000 tonnes of the stuff here. So? Where did they get it from? Were they part of the hoarders cartel? Did they smuggle some out to some secret government warehouse? Or did somebody fuck up again and talking cock?

Anyway, if you read the MSM stories today on this cooking oil 'flood' you will also read some subtle but big hints about what is coming. Possibly after the elections? Some joker from the Prime Minister's office has begun the usual spin. About subsidies. And how it costs the government RM800 million annually. So expect an increase in the price of cooking oil sometime soon I guess. Just the thought should oil your thinking about how you want to vote when the General Elections come. Right?

Mystery #2

The man who committed adultery and was caught out "live" and in color walks free after 'apologising' to his wife and family and the whole country. Forgive and forget. Move on. That's the call from political parties etc.

In the meantime, 3 people caught for making copies of the DVD showing the adulterous minister have been fined and jailed. Well, I guess if the minister had been caught making copies of a DVD which showed 2 women and a farmer in Johor having sex the minister too would have been arrested, charged, fined and jailed. Right? Sure one...I think. No?

Mystery #3

Page N13 The Star, Tuesday January 8 2008 headlines a story that says driving schools can now operate with a minimum off 50 learner drivers a year.

When I read that I was truly flabbergasted. Wasn't it just recently that plans were announced to make our roads safer and accident-free? Cameras would be installed. New driving test curriculum would be introduced. More stringent tests on driving skills etc.

Today's announcement by Chan Kong Choy just screams that things are going to be made even more easy for anybody to get a driving licence irregardless of their knowledge and driving skills. Can you imagine the standards of a driving school that graduates 50 students a year? And the biggest msytery here is the announcement that this action is taken because these so-called driving schools "...provide an important service to the rural community."

And what service is that, YB? A rural folks culling service?

And finally...

Some words of wisdom from the Inspector-General of Police...

"The present generation should appreciate the peace and security they enjoy now."

Hey, Musa! I always thought you are an intelligent man. But I guess I was wrong. Please la stop treating us like your little errant children ok? This lightly veiled threat disguised as advice which is actually a command to be 'grateful' for what we get went out with Dr. M's departure la. Actually, you should be grateful to us for being so tolerant of the continuing fuck-ups evidenced by the Police almost on a daily basis. Anywhere else we would have fired your ass.



Anonymous said...

I think the figure of 70,000 tonnes are just a cook-up figure. Face saving by PM who has to say something about the shortages. Plantation shares are shooting up. Sime Darby, IOI makes the most from their big plantation yet we have this shortages. What a ridicolous situation yet in happen in M'sia. As usual, we will all shout MALAYSIA BOLEH !!

rleecy said...

The fucked up was when they announced the oil shortage. A lot of us still not aware of such until the announcement. Many pushed the panic button after the news creating more panicked buying! If they kept it quiet (until they find a feasible solution), many households would have bought the usual 1 bottle instead of stocking up!!

It is also ridiculous that Govt think that problem solved by just announcing 70T quota increase and demand the manufacturers to supply. Hey, you think main masak-masak ah. You think over night factories can churn out such volume ah!! Come on la!

Niamah indeed.

Anonymous said...

that dvd case brings to mind the time when a chief minister got off scotfree but the 15 y.o. girl got sent to home for wayward girls or something and a young politician who wanted to see justice served ended up being charged with sedition.

NurL said...

I used to feel angry, sad, stressed up if i read news like that.. but nowadays, i just feel numb... my usual line when i talk about issues in Malaysia with my dad is.. "this is Malaysia mah.. anything can happen lah..."
God save us!

shiver said...

yah only in malaysia we have a bunch of untrained and uneducated anumals running the country, they shout malaysia boleh and have a huge moron image somewhere near the federal highway...

how much more can we malaysians suffer? havent we had enough of this crap?


Anonymous said...

cooking oil price = ceiling price imposed by govt.

cooking oil = palm oil or blended palm oil

palm oil = escalating prices which means no longer feasible fr manufacturer to produce and supply cooking oil at or below ceiling price.

subsidy = protest frm manufacturers lead to subsidy scheme and restricted quota per month in order not to create shortage of cooking oil in the market. however, the quota is insufficient to cater to msian consumers as retailers shelves were empty most of the time.

70,000tonnes = govt realise the insufficient quota, hence raise it to flood the market again with cooking oil.

Anonymous said...

The government underestimates its' citizens badly.

nickername said...

hey wait, did anyone saw the chua soi lek dvd? and they are watching porn while they are at it! erm.. should him be arrested too?? for having porn? and it's even recorded in the dvd! nia mah! double standard again.

Bodohwigosuckanegg said...

Malaysia is going from bad to worse, and during an election year. I see many bloggers telling the people to vote responsibly and for the just cause. Well, the current ruling party is heading for a big shit the way they are running the country. So let's do our part during the elections. Let's kick Bodohwi and his menagarie of monkeys out of office. Or failing that at least deprive him of much needed votes in Parliment. That should wake up him up. Or better yet make him realise he should have not become PM in the first place.

Bean Laden said...

Malaysia is one of the world largest producers of palm oil. if Malaysia has shortage, the singaporeans will die first man. You dont need PHD to know this simple common sense lah.

Anonymous said...

peace and stability? what peace? violent crime rate continues to soar and what the heck the police is doing? usual excuses of not enough personnel.
and you know what. whats the shit for a member sitting in the Police Commission doing business with the police. supplying helicopters now. next is infohub in which the project is estimated at billions. read my lips, its billions again. Isnt he together with the IGP better work together to come out with strategies to combat crimes instead of trying to get super rich without working.
really, whats the current government gonna do? tacit support for them to engage in such nefarious activities? so that, they can do your bidding as and when needed such as recent police violence against protestors? i scratch your back, you scratch mine?

amoker said...

Welcome back Patrick . MIss your banterings.

Concur with your observations.

Anonymous said...

Thats the beauty of Malaysia. Those in charged can fuck up numerous times, and we, the Malaysian voters will forgive and forget come election day and vote for that broken dacing.

Get ready to be banged from the back for another 5 years.

daniel said...

Mystery #4

After the shit hits the fan, the same morons get elected back and here we go, all over again.

Still in Singapore, Pat? Come la to JB, I belanja bak kut teh.

jasonwcm said...

Mystery #1: Government performed a David Copperfield cooking oil trick on us. The now-you-see, now-you-don't thingy. They treat us like kids saying "Hey, don't cry, we've got the oils just for you". Yay! Duh!

Mystery #2: From the government's action, I gather that watching porn is not illegal but distributing porn is. Huh?! Come let's watch some now, but remember, do not distribute it.

Mystery #3: Spot on, Patrick. "A rural folks culling service". I see more of these people in town nowadays, especially those with metal heads, no need helmets one... and also a small little car can fit five or more passengers just in the back row!

Anonymous said...

why the main actor and actress in the porn show tak kena tangkap for "carnal intercourse outside the order of nature"? after all that's also in the malaysian law what - no oral. selective prosecution lar the lousy PDRM. i MUST vote this election!

pah nur said...

Ever notice how fat most of the wives of our incumbent government are? There you go. I've solved the mystery of the 70,000tone cooking oil flooding the market...god i feel like Sherlocks Holmes already...

Driver's licence Kopi O soon don't have to pay for the kopi if driver's licence are to be made easily accessible. Wow, good prospect for doctors and lawyer should the accident rate increases.

As for asking the rakyat to be grateful for the peace and security, err....say again? Children get abducted, raped and murdered in broad daylight and the murderers are still at large..what security? With the FRU pissing d firehydrant hard on demonstrators demonstrating peacefully, what bloody peace is he talking about? Stop the shit and listen, instead of just hear the voices of rakyat, maybe then we'll get somewhere..

pah nur said...

p/s an elected government should, as part of duty keep the country safe and peaceful, its their job description. It's their bloody job and it's the tax payer's money they are using to execute their duties. What the fish did he mean by saying we, the rakyat have to be grateful?

Anonymous said...

Actually the driving license announcement makes sense. If the driving schools were really letting people buy licenses, they would have way more than 50 or even 100 students, so the new ruling wouldn't affect them anyway. Anyway the REAL fuck-upped department is JPJ. Ask any P license holder and he/she will tell you that the driving school is just the middleman.

Anonymous said...

Hey Niamah. we shouldn't complain...remember we are at Boleh Land (Famous quote of my friend) everything boleh.

Where the oil come from..we don't need to know. Maybe it is recycled from McD French Fries Station (just kidding).

I come to wonder how tolerate we are. Look at Australian...just because they get bored and want something new....they change their management of their country in 2007 election after the same party ruling the country for almost 10yrs. We have been having the same everything boleh Management for Boleh Land for 50yrs and yet we still keep them around :)

We have a very good piece of land in Asia Continent which actually BOLEH for everything (which is a fact)...but the best part is we have such fuck up management that always "CLAIM" they BOLEH on everything.

p.s. On the chap who commit adultery...My opinion least he did a better execution compare to the freaky show at Hong Kong now.

Anonymous said...

The 70,000 tons of cooking oil is targetted at the forth coming GE!!
The rural folks will think that he is 'David Copperfield'!

Anonymous said...

Sorry buddy but I disagree. The Hong Kong show has a much, much better looking cast!! ;- )