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Saturday, May 24, 2008

What a ****up! Hahahahahahaha

In one of those rare moments, I experienced a funny moment while stuck in a KL traffic jam today. Stuck right beside me was a truck whose door proclaimed that it was owned by a company named...


I laughed so hard that I almost crashed into the vehicle in front of me. Focup? Who would name a company with that? Huh? You don't get it? Say it very quickly and you'll know what I mean.

FOCUP! Yes, I think it definitely is one:-) But you have a nice weekend y'hear?


Malaysian Artistes For Unity

Watch, listen, enjoy, download the video, talk about it, spread the word to friends, family, enemies, bigots, people whom you don't really like, students in white bloused uniforms, politicians who are perpetually moronic...anyone who believes or should believe in ONE NATION, ONE PEOPLE, ONE MALAYSIA!!!

Thursday, May 22, 2008

I feel an erection coming on...

My God! There's a schoolgirl just walked past me in a white blouse! I think I feel an erection coming on. Oooooh!!! Wait, I think I will go and rape her now or at least fondle her crisp white school blouse.

What the fuck is wrong with some people in this country?

A Malaysian group has condemned the uniform worn by girls at government schools, saying it encouraged rape and pre-marital sex!!! And the person who made this shocking statement is no less than the vice-president of the National Islamic Students Association of Malaysia, Munirah Bahari who said that the white blouse is too transparent for girls and it becomes a source of attraction. “It becomes a distraction to men, who are drawn to it, whether or not they like looking at it,” she said.

Just read that line again and realise how stupid it sounds. Becomes an attraction to men!!! This myopic yound lady also said that there should be a review of uniform policy so that it did not violate Islamic ideals.

Wow!!! Great! While most Malaysians are just settling in to feeling a little more secure in the feeling of being Malaysian irregardless of race and creed this kind of thing comes along. No religion encourages indecency. No parents allow their school-going children to dress indecently. Now we need some vice-president of some students association to tell us that? There's more to this woman's stupidity.

“Decent clothes which are not revealing can prevent and protect women from any untoward situations,” she said, suggesting that girls wear a blouse of a different colour or with an undergarment.

So, okay gals forget about all the talk about CCTV cameras in lonely car parks, pepper sprays, caution in lonely places, watchfullness etc. Just don't wear white blouses and you'll be fine. There seems to be no end to her pea brained logic. She also claims that some (girls) used the white blouse to lure men. I shall never look at a white blouse the same way ever again.

Perhaps somebody should go and check what kind of stuff is being taught at this young lady's school and what kind of creatures populate the National Islamic Students Association of Malaysia.


Wednesday, May 21, 2008


I think I have finally figured out why so many things don't work out the way they should after the initial big hoo-hah to launch them. The reason is that the powers that are in charge keep losing track of the trees for the forests. It would appear that here in Bolehland that the veneer is much more important than the quality of the content.

What started me on this rant? I was on the way to pick up my son, Adam from school. Along the way I couldn't help but notice this series of banners with the faces of Badawi and Azalina, the minister of tourism. It took me sitting in the traffic jam a couple of minutes to realise that the banners were actually about the new Domestic Tourism programme launched by the ministry. But more than two-thirds of the banner was occupied by two smiling politicians. Now, much as Badawi might have a sincere toothy smile and the woman might be trying her best to look feminine I don't think they would form a big part of any decisions to go Cuti-cuti Malaysia. Right?

These type of banners are everywhere in the city. Advertising a variety of goods and services and all quite missing the point.

Along the same road and sharing lamp-posts with Badawi is another series of banners. This time supposedly advertising the fact that Kuala Lumpur will soon be a ...see? I actually can't even remember the product advertised. Why? 3-quarters of that banner was taken up by a photograph of the Federal Territory minister! He was officiating the launch of this thing that nobody remembers you see. So being the YB and VVIP he has to take centre stage. Never mind what we are trying to advertise.

Next time you travel past the Section 16/17 toll plaza towards KL look to the toll plaza on your right. You will see a series of huge posters of some of our prominent politicians. There's Badawi, Najib, Samy Velu, Ong Ka Ting. So?, you ask. So what are the posters advertising? Trumpeting the Barisan Nasional? Launching some government programme? Nope! It is the advertising for a college of NURSING!!! I may be wrong but I don't think any of those gentlemen are nursing experts, do you?

And that's it. We tend to concentrate too much on polishing balls rather that getting the job done. The prime minister cuts a ribbon to launch a tourism programme. HE gets all the attention on everything from news reports to advertising and promotional materials. The tourism programme? Errr...never mind la.

Let's open a nursing college. Okay, get Pak Lah, Ka Ting, Najib and Samy to put their faces on our posters. Waffor? Dunno. But they all VVIP ma, right? Sure can do something one.

Launch Wi-Fi programme for Kuala Lumpur. Let's invite the minister to officiate and make sure everybody knows about him coming to cut ribbon ok? Wi-Fi programme? Never mind la. That one later can do.

And so we go on and on and on...


Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Cutting out the gangrene

Cutting tools for gangrenous parts

Undoubtedly, what Malaysians will be 'tokkok-ing' about for the next few days is Mahathir's resignation from the party that he...well he did form it didn't he after the old one was de-registered. He said it is a protest against the Badawi leadership. He said he would re-join after Badawi quits or preferably (I guess) is ousted. Come and join me he said to other UMNO flers. Ho-hum. Okay la so all that is ....just politics. Since I am no expert on that subject I read the news articles about the old man's resignation and tried looking for some funnies which I was sure would be there given that it is Malaysian news involving a Malaysian politician. I looked and there it was......on the front page of The Star.

"Dr. Mahathir also called on Umno members to join him in this radical move, which he likened to "removing gangrene" in order for the party to survive."

Actually, this mention of gangrene appears at least twice in that story.

Likened to removing gangrene? Good one Mahathir! But why would you refer to yourself as gangrene? And then some more go and call on other gangrenous flers to be removed as well. Aiyoh!!! And as we all know gangrenous parts cannot be removed by the patient or should not be. The patient needs a surgeon to cut the life-threatening parts off. Oh by the way, isn't the leader of the other side of the House a doctor ah? Maybe can ask her and her team to help?

Oh...come to think of it when all the gangrenous parts are removed from this Umno body and with those Pakatan flers not really gaining anyone's confidence fast good old Pak Lah may just be laughing all the way to Putrajaya. Again.

Sorry la. I wrote that rant at the breakfast table. At that time of the morning I thought it was funny. You?

Okay la on a slightly more serious note. Mahathir supposedly also said one of his reasons for quitting the party is "......because Umno now is no longer the Umno that was set up 62 years ago to fight for Malay rights, Islam and Malaysia" (Malaya then). So? He's probably right. It isn't anymore. Because it is 62 years later and Malaysians, ALL Malaysians have matured in thinking. Malaysians want a Malaysian Malaysia while recognising and protecting the special needs and rights of certain communities without compromising or infringing upon the rights of other citizens. Sharing what the country has to offer diligent citizens. Building and progressing as one nation one PEOPLE. What's wrong with that?


Thursday, May 15, 2008

Did you know this?

(My favorite photo of RPK)

When I visited Malaysia Today today I was most pleasantly surprised by Raja Petra's article entitled, " How to strike back and counter the sabotage". I have reproduced that part of it which I thought was so damn good an idea.

"I urge all Muslims to pay their zakat and fitrah in any one of the five Pakatan Rakyat states. Are you aware that you can pay zakat in lieu of your income tax? And you can request that your salary be deducted monthly and the money be sent to the state zakat office instead of to the IRD. No, it is not exemption from tax like if you were to donate to a tax-exempt charity. It is zakat in lieu of tax. That means when you pay zakat you need not pay income tax.

Say you have to pay RM1,000 income tax per month on your salary (or RM12,000 per year if you pay annually). You just pay the money to the zakat office instead and send the receipt to the IRD and consider your income tax fully paid.

Why do this? Well, when you pay to the IRD, the money goes to the Federal Government and Umno will use the money. But when you pay zakat the state gets to keep the money and in the five Pakatan Rakyat states for sure Umno will not be able to get its hands on the money.

Think about it. Zakat is mandatory under Islam. So you will be fulfilling your Islamic duty plus you will be helping the five Pakatan Rakyat states plus you will be denying Umno that money. That’s killing three birds with one stone.

Okay, zakat is only 2.5% of your wealth (zakat harta) or income (zakat pendapatan) while income tax is higher. So, pay the higher figure. After all, you will have to pay it anyway whether you pay zakat or income tax. And imagine how many poor and destitute people, the homeless, students who need financial aid or scholarships, orphans, single mothers, old folks who can’t work, handicapped people, etc., can be helped with this zakat money."

Isn't that like a stroke of genius? I think our Muslim Malaysian brethren should seriously think about it. In fact, if there was something like this for Christians I'd switch over instantly. Up until the time I read this RPK post I only had one genius in my circle of friends. Now I have 2. Well, sort of friend la since I have never met RPK in person. Damn good la. Tabik, sir.


Tuesday, May 13, 2008

It was not Me!

Lee Lam Thye demonstrating some "tai chi" moves....

I went to school with Lee Lam Thye, Chairman, National Service Training Council, in Ipoh. I interviewed him once on my talk show on Radio 4 although that chat was cut short because I was close to puking all over the radio studio console from listening to the man.

I've always thought of Lee as an "I", "Me", "Mine" kind of guy. So what he came up with after the latest National Service trainee death came as no surprise. In my previous blog post I casually mentioned that we should wait and see what Lee has to say about the latest waste of a young life in that national tragedy called National Service. We didn't have to wait long.

When I opened the newspaper today there it was. Lee Lam Thye's 3-column long "explanation" headlined...

"NS is good for youth"!!!

Okay, I shall wait while you finish puking. Done? Alright....actually I am not even going to have to interpret this for you. I'll just cut and paste here for your convenience what the man had the audacity to say to Malaysians. Taken out of context you might say. Well, if you want to check out his whole letter to the press, I will save you page N50 of today's (Tuesday, May 13, 2008) Star. But I advise you not to hold your breath. Okay, ready? Here it goes....

"Every time an NS trainee dies while undergoing training, I am devastated. I put myself in the position of the parents concerned and fully understand their sense of loss, anguish and suffering."

"Since I accepted the appointment of Chairman of the National Service Training Council for a three-year term in June 2005, I have served with commitment and do my utmost best simply because it is a responsibility and a trust and I spend almost 90% of my time doing National Service duties."

"I go to the office almost daily to assist the National Service Training Programme........"

"I also spend a considerable amount of time listening to and attending to parents and needs of trainees who approach me from time to time."

"In the course of two years, I have visited some 60 National Service Camps, giving motivational talks to the trainees..........."

"I constantly emphasise the need to be caring to all trainees and treat them as if the trainees are their own children. I had also called on all camp commandants to take all the necessary steps...."

"There is only so much I can do as a non-executive chairman given the fact that I do not have executive powers. I am never directly involved in the administration and management and the camps which falls squarely on the shoulders of the National Service Training Department’s Director-General and his officers. Camp commandants take directives and instructions from the director-general and his officers."

"As chairman of the council I am compelled to state that each time a death occurs in the camps, it nullifies all the good work and efforts put in by the council............"

"I maintain that National Service training is a good programme for building discipline, character and unity as has been testified by the vast majority of former trainees and their parents but it has to be properly managed by committed and truly caring people."

(all the above highlights are mine)

Tempted as I am to comment on Lee's statements there is really no need to. You read and draw your own conclusions about this "champion" of the rakyat. I shall go and throw up now.


Sunday, May 11, 2008

Demolition Man?

She's going to blow. Everybody clear? (I guess not)

Just something to share on this Sunday la.

When I saw the above photo in today's New Straits Times I couldn't believe my eyes. But there it was. Najib Razak, wife beside him, standing before what looks like a pump-type explosives detonator like the kind we see in old World War II movies. I don't know who's in charge of his public image and public relations but he/she sure ain't doing the DPM any favors. With all the rumours, allegations and mamak stall talk going around about explosives and people being blown up and all would you allow yourself (or your client) to be pictured in the media standing in front of something like that? I know I wouldn't. But then I am not a panicky politician so maybe I can still think a bit la.

But the most explosive and tragic part of the above story is that after the latest National Service participant death all Najib said was, "We cannot scrap the programme just like that as many parties are involved." Many parties involved so cannot stop the programme??? Imagine if you are the parent of one of the victims and you have lost your child forever. Fuck I care about how many parties are involved. I want the programme stopped. If not permanently then halted until investigations into the deaths have been completed and everything proven to be in the best working condition. Apparently that's not the way things are done in Bolehland when it involves people's lives. Somebody died? Oh well...sorry la...but we cannot promise that it won't happen again...and we can't stop this thing because too many parties are involved.

In case you forget there are quite a number of parties in the Barisan Nasional, yes?

And of course, please watch out for what Lee Lam Thye will say this time.

Oh by the way, that photo up there just demands to be captioned. Have fun and post them up on the comments section ya?


Thursday, May 08, 2008

Eh? Where's the other fler?

I have spent the past hour trying to think about how to write what is in my head to share with you. But a hangover isn't the best thing to have while attempting something like that. So I am not going to try and be clever or funny or what la. But share my thoughts with you.

I want to know what kind of support the other fler is getting in all this la. There was another fler also arrested and charged with sedition, right? Or have we forgotten? Prominent lawyer, Syed Akhbar was charged for a comment he wrote in response to RPK's article in Malaysia Today, "Malaysia's organised crime syndicate: All roads lead to Putrajaya".

So another Malaysian exercised his right to freedom of speech. He allegedly called Arabs 'sinners' and also made some comments about Arabs and Islam and so he got charged with being seditious. Sedition seems to be the flavour of the month in Bolehland since May 13 was taken off the menu.

And so where is the support for Syed? Where's the outrage? Where's all the support from bloggers who support freedom of speech? Where's the candlelight vigil? Got march somewhere or not? Please ah......I am not Syed's friend. I just needed to know la if got or not. Can?

And then...

I read today on Rockybru that 'they' might want to charge Karpal Singh with sedition. The fler apparently, questioned...

the Kelantan Prince over his titah on Malay supremacy
the Sultan of Perak, Sultan Azlan Shah, over the transfer of the Perak Islamic Religious Affairs Department (Jaip) director, and
the Yang diPertuan Agong, over his opening address of the 12th Parliament

So, that constitudes sedition in Bolehland. Very soon we might be seditious if you question the mamak's way of pulling your teh tarik. Why not? Calling him mamak might incite racial tension. Questioning his skill as a tea maker is definitely a threat to national security.

Okay cannot already la. This hangover is getting too much la. And also this Internet cafe on Patong Beach, Phuket is more expensive than I thought for an island in Thailand. I think I will go lie down in my room now.


Tuesday, May 06, 2008

And the winner issssssssssss......................

RPK in jail

When I first heard that Raja Petra was going to be charged for sedition I actually laughed and almost refused to believe that the 'authorities' could be so stupid. But I was wrong. They are. Raja Petra (RPK) was charged in the PJ Sessions Court and is now in jail pending an October trial.

I went back to Malaysia Today and re-read that article that must have pissed off some 'powerful' people enough to commit gross stupidity. It was an informative article although a tad sensationalistic in its title, "Let’s send the Altantuya murderers to hell". It made good reading and it did raise some interesting questions. But sedition??? I read the article again. Nope. But of course, I too am not a lawyer.

Sedition: "incitement of resistance to or insurrection against lawful authority"....Merriam-Webster Dictionary

That's what my dictionary says sedition is. RPK's article in my opinion did not incite anyone to riot and break the law. Unless of course resistance to or insurrection against lawful "authority" meant that it just angered some people who are in some sort of authority and they wanted to show their 'authority'.

Tuan: What the f**k!!! Did you read this fler's article?
His wife: I told you already how long? Put the fler in jail. You never listen. Ha! See la now what has happened.
Tuan: What should I do now Sayang?
Wife: Don't you sayang me you playboy! (dials mobile phone)...Eh hello, Moose here's what's happened (relates the story) I want you to do something about it. Now!
I don't know! You're the lacky you think of something. What? I don't know. Just do something. Anything!

Cut to Moose's office

Moose: Shit! I knew it was a bad day to come to work. Eh, abang what shall I do?
Abang: Lodge a police report la.
Moose: About what?
Abang: Anything la. We are the lawful authority ma.
Moose: Eh tolong la.
Abang: I know. Something we have not used in some time. Sedition. Sounds serious and we can also bring in those scary phrases like national security, racial harmony, berhati-hati...whatever la. Sure work one.
Moose: Ya man. Ya we'll charge the bugger with sedition. Teach all these flers a lesson.

Whoever advised the course of action to be taken against RPK obviously has been asleep for the past few months and is still trying to use the heavy-handed modus operandi of an era now dead. Civil society cannot be cowed by strong-arm tactics anymore. Bersih proved it. Hindraf proved it. Rocky and the other fler proved it in their on-going fight with the NST. The 12th General Elections proved it once and for all. But obviously some people are still in denial.

Don't hold your breath but anytime now I expect some 'authority' is going to come out with statements warning us to be careful not to compromise national security/racial harmony or else there will be another May 13...oh wait I think they learned their lesson about that last bit so they probably won't dare to use it anymore.

As Malaysians we must not let this farce go on. We have proved that peaceful civil disobedience demonstrations work and can bring about positive change. The bullies are running scared. They are disoriented. They are scared. Show them we care. Show them that we love our country.

People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.
Do anything you can to support him. Donate money, time, effort. Whatever you feel is needed.

Do not let RPK stand alone.

Monday, May 05, 2008

Some things just don't change. Fast enough.

Quorum for a session of the Malaysian Parliament?

And so the storm in a teacup over the televising of the the 12th Malaysian Parliament and the ruckus created by the monkeys, clowns and bigfoot's is beginning to abate. But what a bloody hoo-hah it was. Unbecoming behaviour from people who demand to be addressed as Honourable. Statements from everybody and his dog flying all over the place. Stop the televising of the circus show said the Prime Minister. Yes echoed the minister of information. No, I think we shall continue with the telecast said the minister after some thinking which mustn't be something he does very often. I guess we all know the sentiment of the rakyat over all of this nonsense. We want the televised sessions to continue. Extend them from the current 30 minutes. Broadcast the whole bloody session even. Why not? These are the people we elected to manage our country's affairs and our lives and livelihood. We want to know if they are capable of even intelligent thought. And if they continue to behave like performers in a circus ring or simians in a zoo then we shall vote them out in the next general elections if not sooner.

But the whole tragically funny episode did prove some things to me. Again.

That we still pretty much do a lot of things the "Malaysian Way".......

When something bad happens...Close the doors quick so nobody will see or hear......Sweep everything under the carpet. If there is a big enough broom around and if there is a carpet to hide stuff. Solve the problem? Hiyah! No need la.

When something bad happens......go with the first knee-jerk reaction that comes along. Cancel telecast. Ban. Cut. Hire a consultant. Spend some money. Solve the problem? Hiyah! No need la.

When something bad happens make bloody sure that the Rakyat don't get to know about it. Solve the problem? Solve the problem??? What the hell's wrong with you?

Some things just don't change that quickly or easily. I think I am going back to my self-imposed hibernation now.