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Friday, September 26, 2008

Brains here please! Thank you.

Brains anyone? Fresh, unused civil service version. Cheap.

Ladies and gentlemen, here is further proof that you surrender your brains at the door when you go into politics or enter civil service or have anything to do with ANY government.

A state councillor from PKR-ruled Perak who is facing an ACA corruption charge over a development project in Seri Iskandar in Perak Tengah has lodged a report with the state religious department against the ACA officer !!!

Ok, here's the seems that the ACA fler told the councillor fler that he (ACA fler) has photos of him (councillor fler) having sex with a China woman. So the councillor fler quickly go and tell the religious department flers about it. What is totally hilarious is how he defended himself. He said.......................

"What is important is we did not ask for the women. He supplied them to us. If people sedekah (give), don’t you want to accept the sedekah?"

In other words, "got beautiful woman saying Come, I go la. Got good food don't waste la isnit?"

How did I almost miss this one also I don't know la. Thanks to my friend, Lia I managed to salvage the link and read it.

Barisan Nasional........... Pakatan Keadilan Rakyat. .......... what's the fucking difference? They all surrender their brains at the door anyway.



I wanted to put Rais's photo here but thought this one was more appropriate.

When I read the headline I almost fell off my chair and choked on my cold cereals............

KL to fight ‘Islamophobia’

Foreign Minister Datuk Seri Dr Rais Yatim said that Malaysia had agreed to work with the Organisation of Islamic Conference (OIC) to play a more positive role in the effort.

Funny isn't it? Maybe the OIC should read up on what has been happening in Malaysia in the recent months before accepting Rais Yatim's offer. The Rais fler also said that an international forum will be held next year to counter "illogical" portrayals of Islam. Hello! Rais, if you have some good ideas in that area maybe you should bring them home and do some countering here first. Can ah?

But then ah reading his last quoted statement, “If we, as a member nation of the OIC, do not give our co-operation, then we would be failing as a member of the OIC,” makes me think that maybe the OIC didn't ask him/us for shit but Rais just opened his big mouth. Again! Some more he added that he would present a report to the Cabinet on the plans for the forum. Hahahahahaha...
Does he think the cabinet right now will put this on top of the priority list? Which cabinet will he be presenting this to? Hahahahahahahaha....ahem...sorry ah.

Some more scarily funny bits from the online version of The Star today......

"The Unity, Culture, Arts and Heritage Ministry (which used to be Rais's turf) is at the fact-finding stage to see if the Race Relations Act is absolutely necessary......"

okay so that's not the scary or funny part. This part is......

"Its Minister Datuk Seri Mohd Shafie Apdal said he had met Home Minister Datuk Seri Syed Hamid Albar for discussions."

Hahahahahahahaha..........I am laughing so much reading about what's happening in my country that it makes me cry la.


Thursday, September 25, 2008

Only in Malaysia!

How dare you!!!???#$$%

Can you lodge a police report against someone for insulting ...........


Apparently, here in Bolehland you can. That is if this comment I received from an anonymous comment-er is true la..........

KUALA LUMPUR (Sept 24, 2008) : The Seputeh Umno Youth division lodged a police report today against Seputeh MP Teresa Kok, claiming she had insulted the Royal Malaysian Police and the egg, which is an essential food of the underprivileged. The division’s deputy head Alawi Dahalin and several other members lodged the report at the Brickfields police station.

Okay, normally I wouldn't post something that I had not verified from a published source but I found this comment to be so incredibly funny that I thought I would share with you la. Excuse me ah.....Hahahahahaha.......

And you thought you'd heard and seen it all.


Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Another shot in the foot.

OUCH!!! Must be damn painful la.

Okay, class today's lesson is on how to spot a potential foot-in-mouth or shot-in-foot situation. Read the article below which is taken from the online version of The Star. Pay special attention to the lines highlighted.

THE Selangor Islamic Religious Department (Jais) has issued a stern warning against any party protesting the use of loudspeakers for the azan (call to prayer) at mosques in the state, reported Utusan Malaysia.

Jais director Datuk Mohammed Khusrin Munawi stressed that the azan was compulsory in Islam and it had to be done without any obstruction.

He has directed nazir (mosque official) and mosque committees in Selangor to continue with the practice of using loudspeakers.

“With regards to azan, we cannot compromise. It is compulsory.

“I hope the nazir at the mosques will continue with the practice without any obstruction,” he said.

Recently, the management of the mosque at Al-Ehsan Bandar Kinrara, Puchong, stopped using loudspeakers for the morning sermons, a week after 189 non-Muslim residents sent a protest petition.

Now if I remember correctly those flers who sent the petition to the mosque already said that they just wanted the volume of the azan lowered, if possible, and requested that the SERMON not be broadcast. And some mosque also said "Ya ok. We make softer because it is a neighbourly thing to do ma." Softer only. Not don't broadcast Azan at all or don't use loudspeaker. Of course as Malaysians we know that one is sacred ma. And we understand and respect. We all know. This Jais fler does or not. And then simply come and say this for what ah?

Hello, Datuk Jais ah, want to jump on bandwagon also do it properly la. Straightaway fire at your own foot for what?


Comment received from Yeo 10:39 PM

Patrick Patrick Patrick,
This time I have to correct you. The residents did not request the mosque to lower the volume of the Azan. Just to lower the sermons after the azan. The whole thing was highlighted in the blog of This is the other source of the ruckus, where this owner openly apologise that the media spinned his words out of control. But it seems that the website is down... hmm... wonder why???


Laura: Aiyoooo!!! Syed oooooooooooohhhh Syed!

Read this from the online version of The Star...

Malaysia Today editor Raja Petra Kamaruddin was detained under the Internal Security Act (ISA) because his articles ridiculed Islam, said Home Minister Datuk Seri Syed Hamid Albar.

“The police recommended his detention and after going through the papers, the Government was satisfied there were strong grounds for him to be further detained for two years.

“His articles could arouse anger among Muslims,” Syed Hamid said, adding that he signed the detention order on Monday after he was satisfied with the reasons to detain Raja Petra.

The above proves 4 things. At least la. You can add to the list if you like...

1. That RPK wrote in very "cheem" (deep) Engrand.

2. That the Home Minister doesn't read nor understand Engrand or simple English. If he did he would realise that RPK's articles do not ridicule Islam. On the contrary his writings have always highlighted the beauty and truth of Islam. But he did ridicule those who use and misinterpret Islam for their own selfish pursuits.

3. That the Home Minister has never read RPK's writings and was merely acting on the advice of the police.

4. That the policemen who claim to have acted "...after going through the papers..." don't understand English and/or cannot read.

What the hell is going on in our Homeland?

I don't have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad. It's a depression..... The[Ringgit] buys a [sen's] worth, banks are going bust.......and there's nobody anywhere who seems to know what to do, and there's no end to it. ....... We know things are bad - worse than bad. They're crazy. It's like everything everywhere is going crazy......... I want you to get mad! I don't want you to protest. I don't want you to riot - I don't want you to write to your [Yang Berhormats]because I wouldn't know what to tell you to write. I don't know what to do about the depression and the inflation and .............. All I know is that first you've got to get mad.

You've got to say, 'I'm a HUMAN BEING, Goddamnit! My life has VALUE!' So I want you to get up now. I want all of you to get up out of your chairs. I want you to get up right now and go to the window. Open it, and stick your head out, and yell, 'I'M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!' I want you to get up right now, sit up, go to your windows, open them and stick your head out and yell - 'I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!' Things have got to change. But first, you've gotta get mad!... You've got to say, 'I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!' Then we'll figure out what to do about the depression and the inflation and the oil crisis. But first get up out of your chairs, open the window, stick your head out, and yell, and say it: "I'M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!"......(edited from a monologue taken from "Network")




Raja Petra Kamaruddin has been sent to the Kamunting Detention Centre. For 2 years. Without trial. Without a good reason other that the fact that some people in power think that he is a threat to national security. This from what he writes in a blog on the Internet. So Raja Petra (better known as RPK or Pete to his friends) is a threat to national security. Because he writes what Malaysians want to say. Because he challenges Malaysians to think. Because he challenges the politicians.

And the UMNO man who screamed bigotted statements that assassinate racial harmony and defied common sense walks free. He is even appointed advisor to his party branch. And the man who once brandished a keris (Malay dagger) and screamed for Chinese blood to be spilled is set to be prime minister of this country. And...and...and .... I think I need not quote you any more examples of double standards in Bolehland.

Another thing that surprised me is that the self-appointed champion of the people, Anwar Ibrahim has been so quiet on the issue of RPK's arrest and detention in Kamunting. On the day that RPK was sent off to the detention centre Anwar's blog carried a headline advertising his interview with Al Jazeera!!! And how he is the 'spark' that lit Reformasi or some crap like that. (Well, he did issue a statement today, it's on his blog now, that did mention RPK in one line. And of course today his own on the line.)

Frankly, as a Malaysian, I am getting a little tired of this la. You can't seem to trust anyone in politics anymore. Not that you ever could la.


Sign the petition to FREE RPK!!! Go here. Sign NOW!!!

Friday, September 19, 2008

The taste of shoe leather...

Due to pleas received from visitors Syed's photo is not used for this post.

For the past few weeks, or perhaps for most of his life but unknown to all of us, this Syed Hamid Albar fler who poses as our minister of Home Affairs has been like a talking head programmed to say only......

No I didn't do it.......It wasn't me.......They did it without asking me......


Just minutes ago I read on The Malaysian Insider that he said..... "the release of the Seputeh Member of Parliament, Teresa Kok, from detention under the Internal Security Act (ISA) was decided entirely by the police without referring to him or requiring his approval."

Okay. But then ah...when she was first arrested under the ISA didn't he mention that she was a threat to national security? Ya ya ya, I know she was arrested for her own protection because her life was in danger from something or some people. But he only came out with that excuse after Malaysians went ape-shit at the DAP MP's arrest. So the question I am asking is this....

If she was initially arrested for being a threat to national security wouldn't the Home Minister be at all interested that she had been suddenly released? Apparently not! He said, "......I don't ask questions (to the police) because when it comes to police exercising their power, I let them do their work without any hassle. And if they feel there is no need to make any recommendations (to detain further) and they are satisfied, they will release in accordance with the powers that they have......"

Eh? I thought the Minister of Home Affairs was in charge of internal security. No ah? Funny isn't it?

A Minister of Home Affairs who doesn't ask questions of the afraid very afraid....

But then this fler is really something else when it comes to chewing his own shoe leather la. Like when he responded to the USA saying something about how Malaysia's use of the ISA was an infringement of something or other...Syed's reply was...wait for it...

.....We have the greatest respect for the US and we've got good bilateral relations, but it doesn't mean that wherever we are going we have to ask them 'can we go?'. If we want to go into a room also we ask them 'would you allow us to go into the room?'.

"Each country has got its own peculiar position or circumstances and I think we should be happy with what we are doing with our law, in order to protect our citizens......"

Aiyoh! Syed oooooooooooooohhhhh Syed!


Great for a laugh

Yang Berhormat Hail Hizlar?

Thanks to blogger Sabrina who sent me this great video spoof. Video clip linked from


Living together

Adam: Thank you for preserving my future.

I read the following this morning in the online version of The Sun. I know it seems like nothing la but when I read it I almost swelled up with emotion and felt sooo good to be Malaysian. This has to do with the Teresa Kok/turn down the volume of the mosque/ISA arrest thingamajig...

Bahrudin Maskor, 47, the muezzin of the mosque, was seen entering the Dang Wangi District Police headquarters at 1.30pm and completed giving his statement two hours later.

Bahrudin told reporters that he had been called up to give a statement to the police concerning the contents of the petition sent by 100 residents of the area several months ago.

"In the petition, the residents wanted the volume for the subuh azan to be reduced and the 'subuh' ceramah on Saturday and Sunday not to use the loud speaker. We complied with their request," he said.

The last sentence in the above story was what struck me. Here was this Muezzin of a mosque, listening, understanding and accepting a request from his 'neighbours'. He apparently did not cry Infidel! Traitor! Pendatang! Nor did he lodge police reports and demand ISA imprisonment for the flers who came to discuss something of mutual interest with him. Encik Bahrudin Maskor, I salute you as a true Malaysian!!!

Now, I don't know about you but if it is as reported in the article I think this Bahrudin deserves a medal. Before they make him see the "error" of his ways and return him to the "true" path.


Thursday, September 18, 2008


Adam: What the...!!!

I was rather irate when I received this comment at Niamah!!! I have copied that part of the comment which confounded comments in ( )...

Patrick... I'm frustrated by your writings... I used to love your personality before, but since i encounter you's just showing me what an actual person you are...

(But why? What did I do that you liked before and don't now?)

Same to those who sparks any racial sentiment might it be in the speech or forum or whatso ever...Once started the other party definitely will retaliate..vice versa...this is not good for multi racial country...
You should not excite the racial hatred posting in your comments as this is not good for multiracial country..but then again being biased you will say this is the freedom of expression whereof when it is "sensitive" to your race..such a big Hoo Haa and NIAMAH will come out of your mouth and blog.

(Racial hatred postings??? I had thought that I was totally against that and said so. No ah?)
As long as people like you, Patrick and Ahmad Bukit Bendera don't change the mentality, untill then we will never hope to see a really muhibbah and equality Malaysia...NIAMAH ur head

Never been called a racist before.


Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Entertainment Tonight

My fellow Malaysians....

Go to the link below and watch a most pathetic attempt at:-

Being an orator.
Being sincere.
Being truthful.
Being an honest Malaysian politician.
Being an honest Malaysian. Period.

(watch his hands......see his fixed stare as he tries to read the idiot amazed at his awkward turns......listen to his attempt at pronouncing the word "re-invigorated"......look at that smile from 7:32......Enjoy!)

"Look into my eyeeeeessss.......trusssssssssst me........."


Tuesday, September 16, 2008

What the )*)*(^%%#$^#@!!!

Deterioration of a brilliant mind.

I have received comments that accuse me of being unfair to Dr. Mahathir by using only excerpts of his blog post. You can read the whole thing here.

Today's big story for me is from the blog of Dr. Mahathir Mohd. .......

"Openly the Malays have not attacked Chinese racialism as manifested by their practical rejection of the use of the national language, their rejection of the national schools, their Malaysian Malaysia slogan."

When I read that I was shell-shocked for almost 5 minutes. As a Malaysian I couldn't believe that I was reading something like that from an former Prime Minister of my country.

"......Chinese racialism as manifested by their practical rejection of the use of the national language, their rejection of the national schools, their Malaysian Malaysia slogan."


So sad when senility takes over a once brilliant mind.

Read the full report of his views here and Dr. Mahathir's original writing here.


Sunday, September 14, 2008


Move over, Harith, Instant Cafe, Jit...I'm more funny la.

(I think this comment, received from an anonymous comment-er deserves to be posted here...)

Anonymous 12:43 p.m. said...

"i dunno why people like u, who think that u're clever enuff to say this and that, never come out n do something. don't say goverment control this n that, n said if u step out pun, nuttin' can be changed. do what u think is rite rather that cowardly hidin' in this blog. everything goverment do are wrong, jokes, and all that. then who do think can do better job? guan eng? kit siang? karpal? anwar? WHO? or u wanna say it's YOU? i think because of people keep on sending comments to ur blog, it make feel that u good enuff. poor patrict aiyoh! "

Well, I guess some people will get it and some people won't. That's life. In Bolehland.

I started the last blog post by saying that it was a sad weekend for Malaysians but I think I should follow the lead set by my elected leaders in "retracting" that statement. It is actually not so sad a weekend but is instead turning out to be a totally hilarious one. I have said it before and it is coming true again. Here in Bolehland it is tough to write comedy because real life is sooooo much funnier. Since the arrests of RPK, Teresa Kok and journalist, Tan Hoon Cheng (who's been subsequently released) ministers, deputy ministers and other assorted Y.B's have come out with so much comedy that will last for years of endless guffaws. These are so well written and performed that they are funny just off the written page. See for yourself......

Syed Hamid said the police thought it was best to get first-hand information from Tan and thus took her in under the ISA and released her a day later after they got the necessary information and found no reason to hold her.

“I don’t think we are being unfair or that we mistreated her in any way. We acted professionally and after a day released her,” he said, when asked if Tan had posed a security threat in any way.

........Syed Hamid Albar as quoted in The Star here.

Okay, you better be seated for this next one. Ready? Here it comes......

Asked why the police did not just ask Tan to come in for questioning instead of arresting her, Syed Hamid said it was always difficult when it came to the police when dealing with reporters...

..............Syed Hamid Albar as quoted in The Star here.

Then he said...

“All of us are subject to the law. When the police feel it is best to bring the person in under ISA, they do so. I think the most important thing is not to exercise unfairness. When they got what they wanted and found they had no reason to hold her and that she’s not a security threat and not disturbing public order, they released her immediately......"

But...but...but I thought you said her life was in danger and that's why the police arrested her. To protect her. Right? Then she suddenly returned to being a security threat ah? So after 16 hours she is no more threat ah? Wah! Damn terror man! If we got some sort of system going on in there with the mata-mata flers then I say we chuck all the suspected Ah Longs, rapists, Mat Rempits into police ISA lock-up and release them after 16 hours. Then they all no more threats to society. Everybody happy. Kao tim! Right? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.......

I'll admit that this next bit is not really Hahahaha-funny la but it is still tragically laughable....

On why Ahmad (Ismail) was not detained for making racist comments, he explained that Umno had already punished him by suspending him for three years and stripping hm from the party post while the police was also still investigating a sedition report against him...

So, the fler who made the racist comments is slapped on the wrist, ok pending some more investigations of course, while the reporter who just documented what was said is arrested under the ISA. For her own protection of course.

Read this next bit and see what you are thinking...

When asked why action was not taken against other politicians like Datuk Seri Khir Toyo for racist remarks made, he said people should stop looking at things from an ethnic angle and start thinking as Malaysians.

You think he was asking Khir Toyo to stop or asking who?

Okay, here's an example of the Malaysian Way...

Syed Hamid said the police thought it was best to get first hand information from Tan and thus took her in under the ISA and released her a day later after they got the necessary information...

So now whenever the police want first-hand information they will invoke the ISA issit? But only for a day la. Damn funny la this. Those Communist flers, dead or alive, for whom the ISA was originally intended must be laughing in their graves or in their durian orchards.

....okay excuse me while I go dry my eyes first ah? Laugh until tears come out leh. And all the above was just from a couple of pages of The Star's online paper you know. What other great comedy lies waiting in The Sun, Sin Chew and all the other mainstream media?

Meanwhile, hold your breath for the next instalment of this comedy series. The United States has summoned Malaysia's envoy in Washington to protest against its crackdown on dissent at a time when the opposition is attempting to take over power in Kuala Lumpur. Remember last time Rais Yatim already scolded those flers for interfering in our "domestic affairs". Let's wait and see what Rais says this time or maybe Syed also. Sure damn funny one.


Saturday, September 13, 2008


This is a very sad weekend for all loyal, patriotic citizens of this beautful country we all call HOME. Malaysia. There is no need for me to regurgitate news of what is happening in Malaysia right now as every Malaysian knows. What is happening? We can only wait and see. For the readers of this blog who visit regularly I just want to share this with you................

From Haris Ibrahim's blog:-

................I would like to call upon all Malaysians to do these:

1. Remain calm

2. Do not do anything rash

3. Do not take to the street

4. Do not be instigated by people to demonstrate

5. Just voice it out in your blog, your comments to the blogs, and inform your friends and relatives about the situation

6. Call your Aduns or MPs and voice out your objection about these arrests and urge your representatives to voice out

7. Members of political parties, sms your leaders to pressure them to voice out

We shall object to these draconian acts by using civility and do not fall into the traps of giving the big brother a chance to declare emergency rule……

Heed the advice. Keep the faith. Look forward to a brighter future. For Malaysia! Our country. Our home.

And to those desperate fossils of a dying regime...........


Thursday, September 11, 2008

Imbecilic Tokkok

Look closely. Huge rings with precious stones. Designer pen. Gold watch. This man has a lot to protect. What about you Pak Cik? What you fighting for?

Last night I watched the news on television. There on Channel News Asia was this man, Ahmad Ismail. He was dressed in screaming yellow. Huge rings on the fingers of his right hand. Gold rimmed glasses. For all intents and purposes he actually looked quite like a side-show barker at some circus. So much has been written and talked about this fler that I am very sure he has tasted the tempting fruit of celebrity and now cannot get enough of it. But make no mistake. The man is a lethal weapon. What my friend, zorro wrote in his blog about sums up how we as intelligent, responsible Malaysians should react ...

PEOPLE, why don't we all just stop ranting about this beyond-redemption amorphous amok. He can continue to say we are immigrants and if you believe you are not, just let him rant. He needs the limelight. But if we continue clamoring for his hide, we are giving him the spot-light. He is also a pendatang....only thing is that he is ashamed to admit it. I am proud that my ancestors came here to help in the mines or this country would still be in the chronically under-developed stupor. So whatever any insults flung my way is irrelevant. I treat it as utterings of an imbecile.

...I am not sure whether the mainstream media in Bolehland carried it too but yesterday the Singapore Straits Times printed these quotes...

Marina Mahathir ... "I'd like to ask everyone, especially those categorised as 'Malays ', to list their family histories. And see how many of us can really go back further than three generations born in this land. I know I can't."

Syed Imrani, former Bernama journalist ... "Ahmad Ismail cannot deny the fact that his grandparents were immigrants from India who were looking for a better and comfortable life in this fortunate land."

... I think that's enough to convince anyone that fler is talking cock!