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Friday, October 17, 2008


YB, you damn champion la. We are so proud of you.

This morning I almost had a coronary I was laughing so hard. I never for a moment believed that Syed Hamid Albar, Malaysian Minister of Home Affairs and stand-up comedian par excellence could top what he's done in the past few months. But true to his form he did!

The headline of the news story was "KL area 'unsafe', so police base closed".

Alright, I'll let you catch your breath before I continue...................

Okay? Here's the story. A police beat base in the Chow Kit area of downtown Kuala Lumpur was closed down recently. When questioned about it in Parliament our world-class comedian said it was because the beat base was located in an area considered "unsafe". HUH???

Ok, ok, ok....hold your laughter first. There's more.

Why unsafe ah?

It was located in a 'dirty' area where there is a possibility of being exposed to contagious diseases. HUH??? comes the great punchline.................

"The presence of criminals also posed a threat to the safety of the police officers"


And this time the clown did his act without even having to be physically present. He just sent in his funnies in a written form!


p/s I changed the photo of this post after reading what Antares commented....

You compare him with a jackass - too classy for dat bugger lah, especially since some jackasses sound like Eddie Murphy. I compare him with a hyena, always laughing at his own lousy joke"

I agree Antares.With apologies to asses around the world.


kenilim said...

Let me be the first to tell you that when i read it, i nearly puked my b'fast out. I really can't believe he can actually top the stupid, idiotic remarks of the past... but, surprise surprise, he did it again.. only without the ooops!!
Patrick, we must dedicate an day to him, to remember his jokes par excellence.. I recommend Febuary 30th. Agree? hahaha

Anonymous said...

I really wonder what is this BEAVER-looking MONKEY is doing. I believe 99% of his brain is made up of sheer SHIT. He eats with his asshole! The shit clumps up so much up there, overflows through the mouth!

Malaysia Digest said...

I nominate Syed Hamid for the award of the Grammy Best Actor !

BUSUT JIN said...

Hey Patrick, do you thing that you are the best comedian around....WRONG...we have better comedians in the cabinet........ ah ah ah
sign tskumar

KY said...

Hahhaha biggest joke ever!

Anonymous said...

It's no laughing matter. This nation is really in distress

Anonymous said...

Best Actor??
The dude deserves a Nobel Prize wei LOL!!!

Anonymous said...

Why not shift all the police beat base to inside 5 star hotel and mega shopping mall where they can enjoy air-con and something else.

Anonymous said...

My god, whoever described being a police is supposed to be the safest job in the world? Syed hamid is full of bullshits!

Nordin said...

Dear Pet,

I wonder what's happening to our country. The police are scared of the criminals and yet they become very bossy and intimidating to the ordinary citizens.

They are not afraid to arrest people like you and me if we disobey them and yet scared shit of the criminals.

This situation fits correctly to the story carried by Malaysia-Today sometimes ago that the police force are subservient to underworlds. What more when the minister concern confirmed it.

sia said...

This Minister is certifiable! Lock him up in a rubber room and give him the rubber hose.

Anonymous said...

This comedian head is full of SHIT. Cannot expect mush from this chap but he will definitely put the country on the world map for incompetent minister.

Anonymous said...

TNS says....

I would like to suggest that the police beat base be located within a gated & guarded area for the safety of the police officers. What say you, Patrick.

And the security company that operates the gated & guarded area is made up of the bunch of thugs in the Chow Kit vicinity.

Anonymous said...

This arrogant, pea brain baldie toad has again shown his sheer stupidity. Perhaps he is running the the country HM=Hantu Ministry.
Whenver he open his big mouth he spill shit that make not only the rakyat but the whole world laugh.
God save malaysia

Anonymous said...

Do we allow undesirables to control the police or the other way round. Botak, if the police is given safe and cushy job, you are wasting taxpayers' money. Return to your habitat, the Borneo jungle, where you feel more comfortable.
Fcuking disgrace!

Anonymous said...

Harith Iskandar better watch out.
Bolehland has better botak comedian.

David Teo should consider producing a movie casting him as new talent. Even Scenario also got no fight because this new comedian joke can also appeal to non-Malays.
The dialogue could still be in Malay so that David Teo can continue to milk the grant from Finas and to qualify for the local film festival award next year. The movie can be titled "Niamah the Movie".

Yusuf Haslam may consider having a new Gerak Khas movie depicting the reality that our Polis got no balls to tackle criminals. Patrick Teo may have a cameo appearance as Honda-san the Japanese tourist with a Thai daughther (since his TV appearance contract in Singapore has been cut short by MediaCorp), or as the Ah Long that can scare the shit out of Gerak Khas (or make them pee on their pants). Harith Iskandar can take the role of a Botak minister that provide comic relief with his irrelevant quotes.

Antares said...

You compare him with a jackass - too classy for dat bugger lah, especially since some jackasses sound like Eddie Murphy. I compare him with a hyena, always laughing at his own lousy jokes.

Anonymous said...

Hi Patrick,

I cant help but pity the police personnel having to man a base right in the middle of vice and criminals. Who place them there in the first place. It should be our duty as citizens to find ways to protect them from such the undesirable elements of society that they cant act against. Since I dont know any answers, maybe I can ask a few questions.

1. To whoever who put the station there initially, dont you think the police deserve to be protected too? What actions were taken to ensure that the police personnel are safe from criminal and vice activities?

2. If the area is really unsafe, can someone help the police make a police report at the other nearest police station? (I hope the other stations are in safer neighbourhoods.)

3. Can they seek protection under ISA? I mean it is an INTERNAL thingy with police making police reports in police stations seeking police protection for personal SECURITY for police personnel.

Not really relevant but something that just crossed my mind is the enormous sacrifices and risks our other members of society face everyday including but not limited to doctors lawyers teachers.

Perhaps other ministries may want to offer some guidelines for the other jobs like for docs to stay away from hospitals with a lot of sick people and go only to hospitals with healthy people.

Dont you think that this kind of good advice is really relevant today?

And lawyers, stay away from the suspects and criminals. Does this mean both sides must stop working too?


Anonymous said...

Maybe pea brain should call in the army to protect our police force

allen said...

This Botak fella is mentally retarded

doraemon1972 said...

dear pat,

i nearly did some writing on that comedy this morning. police afraid of criminal? is he for real???

Anonymous said...

Ha.....ha.....ha.....JOKE of the century! Perhaps someone should post this story around the world to let others see what kind of Interior Minister we have in this Bolehland!

Patricia said...


I read this to my husband, who's seldom amused by anything, but he says this to you:

If you can find that article, send it in to Jay Leno for his 'Headlines' segment! I'm sure it'll get selected for airing! He loves stupidity the most, so this one qualifies for sure!



MYblog said...

This asshole Botak speaks through his ass. Everytime he says something it sounds like fart.

Oh Boy, what worries me is that this might actually be true and that is why the crime rate is sky rocketting, anyone given a thought to this.

Numbskulls, all should be hanged like Mussolini when finally their dynasty falls.

A walking and taking disgrace to every Malaysian. But then again he is among similiar friends in BN. Some like Samy is out of the limelight others like Keng Yaik have retired.

Anonymous said...

dear patrick,

Disgaceful-lah this bugger everytime he opens his mouth!

that's show how fucking intelligent our home minister are to the world, I think by now the whole world are laughing their ass out at us Malaysian.

Which school did he come from huh?
I better not want to send my kids there. Ayoh, i am totally flabbergasted with this idiot, stupidity to the extreme!

Lost further hopes each day as things unfold.
Not NIAMAH but PKM!!!

DJ Khor said...

Dearest Mr Teoh,

I'm still dumbfounded how jackass Shit Hamid can be retained a Minister.

His mouth is like his ass.

Anonymous said...

Hi Patrick,

Move over you Jay Leno, we have a more hilarious and funniest Father of all Comedians....introducing our very own pelawak dari cota tinggi.......Mrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.Sai Ha Mit, kong si mit huh?

Wah Kong lu lang kena sai-lah!!

Paling dahshat kebodohan dia sampai tidak ada darjat untuk dia!

Aduhai....Tuhan selamatkan Malaysia!

Samuel Goh Kim Eng said...

Aren't we lucky to get our unique free 'entertainment'
Every now and then without being condemned outright
From those supposed to be running the government
Thinking in their own minds that only they are right

(C) Samuel Goh Kim Eng - 171008
Fri. 17th Oct. 2008.

Anonymous said...

If only Malaysia have a Saturday Night Live aka SNL, we are gonna have a field day. Malaysian comedic acting scene could jump start our flailing industry. I long the days of Yusof Chong stand up comedy and impersonantion. And yeah, we can have Harith Iskandar impersonate Al-blur.


Anonymous said...

The picture is an African wild dog and not a hyena. Anyway still the same and can be used to describe the fucking good for nothing bastard.

Anonymous said...

He looks and sounds more and more like someone who has just escaped from some Hospital Bahagia, manages to get to Seri Perdana and convinces our sleeping PM into believing that he actually makes the best Home Minister in Malaysia. That's why we are getting all these weird statements coming out of his mouth.

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAHHAH........ayoyoh, why they so funny one?

I haven't stop laughing from their previous jokes and now he makes another one!
Wah, I can't take this anymore-lah, my stomach is aching.....tolong sikit syed, give me a break, don't start another one again next week!

You damn good la syed, next election you lose ah you can become a good comedian and we all can enjoy more of your stupid jokes lah bruder!

Mana you punya universiti you belajar ah?
Banyak 'so high' one you!!!

K L said...

Hey guys ! In fact he has a sound mind you know bcos his line of thinking is still the same as that reason given on Ms Tan arrest under ISA - Arrest is to protect.

Give him a break, he is vying for UMNO senior post, I think just grant him the post of President - Entertainment straight away will do, no need to contest.

Anonymous said...

haahah it is not Hyena. AiyoOo... Misleading. hahah.... But, I feel please dont talk bad about police la.. some really do their job. Just bcoz of that brainless Bastard all police kena.. haiz... die also wanna make neighbour kena "in cantonese".... SUper Useless human...
Maybe can change photo to other thing Such as Rubbish~
I still think Hyena is cleverer then him. THey know how to hunt and they got brain to think.

Anonymous said...

Hi Patrick,

you pull a fast one huh? I thought it was a laughing hyena until anon 3.37pm woke me up maybe I kena the Al-Blur disease from reading tooo much of pea head blunders

Anonymous said...

Any Tom, Dick and Harry also can be minister in this bolehland. That's why this gomen is sooo incompetent and inefficient. But very effective in closing huge projects. Remember the crooked always win in this bolehland. Sh^^^t those MPs for supporting this tyranny regime or may be they are also part of it or get out of BN NOW. said...

A Home Minister giving such statement in Parliament is certainly making a mockery of being elected by us. Malaysia will be back-paddling further with ministers keep on giving illogical statements in public and parliament. It is a laughing matter to most but our senses tell us that how on earth can we have such minister(s) whereby the majority of us can do better. Imagine such lawmakers making decisions in Parliament for us but they are not much better than us!

Welcome to Made In Malaysia Jokers Club. Admission, free via a single ruling party.

Alli said...

aih dont chuck him to borneo jungle la. we dont want him there either. besides..he might annoy our orang utans into extinction.

Rah Rah said...

Actually last year my house got broken in from the roof. Good thing no one was at home and few precious items got stolen. Reported at the station and Insp came and take down the record. I left a ladder there, because I went up to the roof to inspect the damage done. The inspector told me don't ask him to climb the ladder, because he's affraid of heights!!! Niamah... I was in disbelieve for a moment...

Anonymous said...

eh..I wonder who's in control of bolehland nowadays...

Anonymous said...

This Minister of Home Affairs is akin to a Minister of Circus.I hope he better goes to the Circus to perform his duties rather than to disgrace we, Malaysians.he really talks rubbish and what is the use of the police force if they are scared of the "unsafe area".Better call the army to patrol the place and close down the police force if they only think of the safe areas for unsolicited income.WTF!!

solidleong said...

this is the greatest bullshit i ever heard in my entire lifespan. looks like the Hitler video shows the true picture of botak being a circus monkey. pls send in the clowns.

Anonymous said...

Actually this doesnt shock me...the Home Minister brain is the size of dust is nothing new. Sometime I believe he shud be in the comedy.


Anonymous said...

Tomorrow our sai har mit will issue a statement that say," All the police officials at the Chow Kit beat base had been ISAed for their safety..."


A joker from the Seputeh Umno Youth division made a police report against DAP's Seputeh MP Teresa Kok for saying the food that was served during her detention under the ISA were like ‘dog food'. This UMNO joker also claimed that Teresa had insulted the Royal Malaysian Police and the egg, which is an essential food of the underprivileged.

The 'dog food' contropversy prompted one responsible man, Murugiah, who is also the Public Complaints Bureau head, to investigate. He said to the press that the comments made by Teresa had put the Government and the police in a bad light.

"The Government’s credibility has been damaged and I want to solve the problem as well as ensure there is no such recurrence in the future,” Murugiah said, adding that he was upset with the entire episode.

Now the Home Affairs Minister has commented that a police beat base was located in a 'dirty' area (Chow Kit) where there is a possibility of being exposed to contagious diseases. And by saying that "The presence of criminals also posed a threat to the safety of the police officers." the Minister of Home Affairs has in fact put the Government, the police and the residents of Chow Kit in a bad light, too.

I wonder if the same joker from Seputeh UMNO Youth division would come forward to lodge a police report against the Home Affairs Minister for insulting the Royal Malaysian Police and the residents of Chow Kit?? Also, will Murugiah come forward to investigate the complaints (or comments) made by the Home Affairs Minister after the latter had told the former not to interfere into other ministries' affairs??

I guess the criminals in Chow Kit must be proud and honoured with the Home Affairs Minister's comments and the relocation of the police beat base.

By the way, Patrick, I have to resume eating Arabic food and stop my favourite Malaysian food for a while as my stomach is in constant cramp after reading this only-can-happen-in-Malaysia news story. Do you have a medicine to cure my stomach cramp?? Please help...

Al said...

Hi All ... Idiots do best what idiots are good at!! That's our HM! What a scary things to say out loud ... from our present government's numero uno for the safe keeping of our homeland some more! It's right smack in KL ... not even a shout away from people. If we can't even protect our back yard ... apa daaa ... kena panggil NATO to assist lah! Or is this where the new Eurocopter will greatly enhanced the polis force? If our polismen/poliswomen takut to guard/watch over that area in Chow Kit ... my god ... what's left for the citizen of Malaysia? But ... lets just leave these morons minister to talk rubish sume more lah ... the good laugh sometimes is good to diffuse our worried minds on the economy & other things in life. Got to ask also what the 'shit' has he been smokin? Chow.

Anonymous said...

Meanwhile, swirling in the underworld is the follwing dialogue:

Asst. Gangster Head: Boss, our Home Minister is saying that our presence are a threat to the police. That is why they have decided to close down the police beat in Chow Kit.

Gangster Head: That is great news!
Now that we have a Home Minister who thinks so highly of us, we must do our best to prove him right. We must continue to push up the crime rates in Malaysia.

Asst. Gangster Head; He is truly our friend and admirer, Sir. We must not disappoint him.

Gangster Head: Go and get cracking then!

Anonymous said...

stupidity taken to the highest level.
hello, is that the best from UMNO to helm our Homes Affairs?

Anonymous said...

nolah, he is not that stupid. when challenged for division head (gee, he was trailing), he had the challenger suspended. Reason?
for being less moronic than him! where got stupid, patrick.

Anonymous said...

Polis DiRaja Malaysia - scared of Chow Kit Thugs?

What a joke and a waste of tax payers' money.

Maybe RPK was right all along, all criminal roads lead to Putrajaya.

Long live RPK.
Botak minister please resigned!

Anonymous said...

He put his backside in the mouth, of course shit come out lah. Primary 1 kid also can tell you that. So simple.

Anonymous said...

Another wasted sperm!

Anonymous said...

Dear patrick, I'm here for you.

Anonymous said...


al-blur hamid dont mind criticism from bloggers as he had to make tough but unpopular decisions lor. such as closing a police base to prevent criminals from harming the police lor. the police should be very thankful lor to al-blur for giving priority to their safety over that of ordinary citizens like you and me lor.
think its safer to be a criminal now than to be not. your choice lor, patrick.


Anonymous said...

Dear patrick, I'm here for you. ---Xuefeng

Anonymous said...

" ...damn..DAMN that bugger asking
in the parliment & now ...i get all shit at me ...even saying my dad's one sperm been wasted on my mum's egg ... i must use more ISA
more often to stop all the insults ...damn...DAMN !! "

Anonymous said...

it runs from the family blood ...
that's what umno good for ...
they are only interested in getting 'dogs' to be their minister as this will allow them to control them ....

Umbrella Rec said...

Patrick, you've made my day by writing this article. It's very funny! The "hyena" is giving the police force another bad name that they cannot even protect themselves. I'm not trying to safeguard the Malaysian police as I dislike them for abusing their power as well. At least there are good cops and bad cops but there's only one "hyena" that will never change.

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness! What a big fat lump of protoplasm. Nincompoop.Worse than a pea brain.

Anonymous said...

" ... i'll do all for xxx till my last drop of blood !"
niamah...@#$%^&*...again & again using blood to get support...FU & drop dead better lah !!

Anonymous said...

We are gone! police are busy arresting reporters and bloggers while the public safety is ignore. That is so encouraging for criminals! Niamah!

weakman said...

Patrick, Wa lao a...... I wonder that botak read your blog. If botak read would he put in some comment.

EVo said...

Enough of making our country laughing stock already...

sick, sick , sick!

Anonymous said...

The following quote from Paul Harvey says it all: "Gonads are useful for their purpose, but they are no substitute for brains."

Anonymous said...

just when you thought he couldn't get any dumber...
boom shaka la!!!!

Anonymous said...

no boubt at all, mca's 'kangkong with belacan' tastes good BUT it's a hollow plant : empty talk only =
no guts for 2nd dpm post !!

Anonymous said...

SEE ! 2nd dpm post is meant for east malaysia umno mp !! 'kangkong'
mca ( ongchua = ongchai hollow plant) , got guts or not !!??

mca is the 2nd BN partner = gunaless one lah !!
..niamah..@#$%^&*..! (fury member)

Anonymous said...

He sounds like a real jackass.

The government should really review their ministers. Award them the jackass excellence of the year award.


monsterball said...

Yip!..That jackass is saying control that area???
I wonder....what decent brave police officers reading his message...are thinking and feeling.
If it is me...I will put my head in be managed by such a low IQ minister.
Just look at his face....will tell you ...this fat arse is good for nothing.

Anonymous said...

Nat, please don't insult the jackass.

Anonymous said...

niamah smelly @#$%^&* = within 2 short tahun the KL mayor has spent about 1.5 juta , our hard-earned bloody tax contributions on his 11 'fun & enjoyable' overseas trips ! is his family with him too for those FREE trips !!??
....niamah smelly xxx @#$%^&* ...!
damn...damn...DAMN...DAMN...!!(fury man )

Anonymous said...

Come on fellers, let's give him some credit....

At least he is telling the truth!

Anonymous said...




Salinan kepada:

Yang Di Pertuan Agong Malaysia ( Baginda Sultan Mizan )

Pejabat Istana Negara ( u/p Ust. Abd Aziz, Ust. Abd Rahman)

Jabatan Agama Islam Negeri-Negeri (u/p Mufti)

Pejabat Perdana Menteri Malaysia



Sila layari .Terima Kasih

Anonymous said...

No need to Niamah here and there.

If you cannot fight them, join them.

Stand for election, be a MP or Mayor.

Then you will get free all-expense paid holiday for your family!

God bless the Bolehland!

Anonymous said...

No need to Niamah here and there.

If you cannot fight them, join them.

Stand for election, be a MP or Mayor. Or be kangkung also can.

Then you will get free all-expense paid holiday for your family!

God bless the Bolehland!

Anonymous said...

well..well..WELL !! if MUHYIDDIN YASSIN really means what he says
" ALL 4 one & one 4 ALL " (theSun)
GODBLESS him then tobe the future
dpm then pm of MALAYSIA !!

DJ Khor said...

Dearest Mr Teoh,

I must register a complain against you for your insult to our Malaysian Minister of Home Affairs.

How can anybody with a sound mind like you can trash a mentally retarded old moron?

The minister in question is unable to control his functions mouth nor his bladder. To the minister, his mouth was where his ass was, and vice versa.

The minister should remain in hospital for his illness, but was subsequently released (or kicked out) due to his uncontrollable nature. He is constantly subjected to unnecessary pressure by the Pk and rakyat which confuses him even more, adding to his predicament.

I urge you to be more wise in your words to the minister and be more direct in your statements in the future.

Thank you.

Anonymous said...

"Niamah" like "FU" are only expressions - just like "Good Lord", "Jesus" or "Good Heavens" although these are in more polished forms. So there's nothing wrong to Niamah here and Niamah there.

Anonymous said...

Very soon our polis will know the true meaning of Niamah...

Patrick, don't play play ...

See the report below.

Police to learn Hokkien dirty words

PENANG, MALAYSIA: Policemen who take basic Hokkien dialect course is going to learn Hokkien "dirty words", so that they know if the public are swearing at them.

During the class opening ceremony Saturday (18 Oct), lecturer Ye Yin Ni encouraged policemen to learn Hokkien for better communication between the police and the people.

When being asked whether they are going to learn Hokkien dirty words, she said certainly dirty words are included in their syllabus. She stressed that it is not meant to encourage policemen to use the words but it is to avoid them being bullied by pranksters.

This is the second time for the Penang police to have a basic Hokkien dialect course. The first batch of 30 policemen already completed the course recently.

State police Chief Deputy Comm Datuk Wira Ayub Yaakob said that policemen who take the lesson will not be given any allowance as the course is already free of charge.

JJ said...

One word - Stupid ass comedian. No thats three words. ha ha.... Nice one patrick

Anonymous said...

'niamah & FU' to the sil for denying his past statement not racist !! @#$%^&* ...niamah !!

Anonymous said...

Hi Patrick,

Yeah, that's one of the worst statement ever heared.

By the way, that's a pic of African Wild Dog, not a Hyena.... and they certaintly live with much higher dignity compare to Syed Hamid Albar as they never steel food from others.

Anonymous said...

only robots eat 'steel food' lah !!