Tsk...tsk...tsk...naughty...naughty...

Adam's impression of a "naughty" blogger.

The Minister of Information, yes the same fler who foams at the mouth when debating with Anwar, announced that RTM would use its infrastructure to help JAKIM and Any Fler who wants to proclaim and more importantly explain the Fatwa against Yoga. Help so that "information is delivered to the grassroots clearly," he said. Now why didn't anyone think of doing that before shooting off their mouths banning this and that? Why? It's the Malaysian Way! Shoot foot first. Then go see doctor la. Worked for 50 years!

Foamy Mouth also announced that the government was not planning to have laws to restrict or control blogs and bloggers. Why? Now, this you have to read to believe. The wise minister said, "I feel the government is not proposing to do that as maybe the number of naughty persons who abuse the facility is not big... one or two per cent only of the total in the blogging world......." Naughty persons??? I know Shabery isn't the most articulate of persons but his choice of words really amazes me la. Y.B. I would like to propose that the government isn't proposing to do shit because they really don't know what to do that would work. Right?

And now for the best laugh you have to read this part of his statement on the steps taken by the government to face the global economic crisis. Ahmad Shabery said Malaysia had not seen large lay-offs as in Western countries like the United States where the number of people who sought aid and social benefits was at its highest in 16 years.

"We don't hear of that in our country as our economic system is better established and the government's preparation is far better than that of the Western countries," he said.

Now as a loyal Malaysian who trusts his government I should be really happy to hear that from a minister. Right? But no la. Why do I think instead that our government is actively encouraging us to bury our heads in the sand and hope that it will all go away eventually? I am still a loyal Malaysian. So I guess that just makes me a Malaysian who does not trust my government. Yup!

Don't worry! Semuanya OKAY!

NIAMAH!!!

You got to be F**KING kidding me!!!

Adam: What will they think of next?

Read this from a comment on Niamah!!! this morning. Someone please wake me up from this nightmare.

Pahang Enlists Pensioners As Bloggers

TEMERLOH, Nov 23 (Bernama) -- The Pahang government has appointed three pensioners as bloggers to thwart slanderous comments and allegations posted on the Internet.

State Information, Science, Technology and Innovation Committee chairman Datuk Mohd Sharkar Shamsudin said the bloggers, who would be paid allowances, would be provided with computers and the Internet access in their homes.

The pensioners can capitalise on their experience to explain the actual situation to the people besides providing feedbacks and opinions to the government, he told reporters after attending the Senior Citizens Day organised by the Pahang Chapter of the Malaysian Government Pensioners' Association here Saturday.

"More bloggers will be appointed. We value pensioners' thoughts in our efforts to improve the state's economy and prosperity and unity of the people," he said.

Pahang Menteri Besar Datuk Seri Adnan Yaakob told the state legislative assembly recently that he was slandered by a blogger....Bernama

And this plan came from someone with the title of "State Information, Science, Technology and Innovation Committee chairman"!!!???

Well, maybe it is Pahang's innovative way of empowering senior citizens. Like what the PAP government is doing here in Singapore when they announced that community centres would be equipped with computers and broadband connections especially to educate senior citizens how to use the Internet. Innovative indeed! And to be fair to these pensioners I shall be looking forward to their first post thwarting this that and the other.

NIAMAH!!!

Which Fler/s killed Altantuya?

Murdered Mongolian, Altantuya Shaaribuu.

First Dis Fler said that he knew who killed the Mongolian beauty and who gave the order for the murder and who blew up her body. Dis Fler also said that he had evidence to prove his allegations. He was just waiting for the right time to reveal these to the courts.

Then Det Fler swore in the name of Al…errr…sorry…God, that he didn’t know the dead woman. Never had sex with her. Never met her. Never even knew who she was la.

And now the Poor Fler says that Det Fler really didn’t know her and Det Fler and His Wife never met the deceased. Never. “The truth is truth and nothing can change the truth,” he said. And then ah…when reporters asked him, “Eh! How you know Det Fler had never met ?” He replied, “I know…I just know.” Period. Errr…maybe the truth is…IN THERE! Somewhere. And referring to bloggers who have had a field day, writing and speculating on what actually happened the Poor Fler said, “Liars are running supreme.” That’s for fucking sure, man! Well at least he said something indisputable at that press conference la.

Oh yes, of course you all must remember that the Poor Fler spent 22 months in jail and has now been acquitted by the court or the system as he calls it. So? So there is absolutely no political interference in the case at all. Ya perhaps so. If only this case was heard in pre-Mahathir Malaysian courts some of us might even believe the Poor Fler.

Now the question in the minds of Us Flers is this…

So, now the Poor Fler is acquitted. Det Fler has sworn that he is not involved at all. And Dis Fler is still waiting for the ‘right’ time to reveal his damning ‘evidence’, Us Flers are wondering, “Eh? Isn’t this a murder trial?” If it is then shouldn’t we be more concerned about finding the killer of the poor woman rather than focusing so much on Dis, Det and… wait a minute…there are still of course, Dose Flers who are still being tried for blowing up Altantuya’s body. But then ah…Dose Flers were acting under orders, right? Because they also don’t know the woman and never met her, right? If that is so then there must be the Other Fler/s who must have “mengarahkan” (given the orders), right? And then there must have been Dat Fler/s who shot her first.

Okay, let me try and recap this episode. So the Poor Fler met Altantuya and had an affair with her. Then when he tried to end it. She came to Malaysia to look for him. Then he called for help from Some Fler/s. Some Fler/s killed her and blew up her body with C4 explosives. Or gave Other Flers the order to do so. The Poor Fler got arrested and charged with abettment. Then Dis Fler said that Det Fler and His Wife plotted the whole thing and that Det Fler was the one having an affair with her. Then Dose Flers were also hauled in for allegedly being the ones who shot her and blew up her body. Now the Poor Fler is acquitted. Dose Flers are still being tried. Det Fler has sworn on the Holy Book. Dis Fler is still not revealing anything other than accusations.

I am not making light of a sad and tragic event in the lives of the Shaaribuu family of Mongolia but as a human being I just want to see justice done. The murderer brought to book and punished and the soul of Altantuya finally able to rest in peace. But nothing that I read in the newspapers or blogs or anything point to the fact that much is being done to find the murderer/s.

True ah? Or have I been missing lots?

Niamah!!!

Note: After reading about all the Flers, You Flers must be damned confused, right? Sorry la.

But first...the headlines...

Drinking bad coffee gives you chicken skin neck and red face and make you have silly grin and sit in front of cheap fan set against blank wall. Quite scary one.

Here I am. In Singapore. Friday morning. 3-in-1 bad instant coffee to start the day. Long day of shooting ahead. In other words, nothing better to do la. So? I turned on the laptop and proceeded to read the Malaysian newspapers online. Wah! Don't care la what you all say hor. It's good to read MY papers la. A lot of rib-tickling stuff in there everyday one. After playing a short game of eenie-mienie-moe I picked the New Straits Times today. So here goes......

IGP: Don't interfere in ruling on tomboys

Doesn't that headline just grab you by the balls when you're sipping your morning kopi-O? From the Inspector-General of Police you know. I've only met the fler one time when he was Deputy Public Prosecutor or something. He is a scary guy. And I am told that he is a very intelligent fler. Which makes him even more scary. So when he says DON'T INTERFERE! Better listen lor. Or at least read on to see what he got to say la.

Police have warned non-governmental organisations not to object to the National Fatwa Council ruling against tomboy behaviour.



Well, as a member of the rakyat my question is this. Since when has it become the duty of the police to warn citizens about what they are thinking or objecting to? Is this what they mean by a police state ah?

Inspector-General of police Tan Sri Musa Hassan said the move by certain NGOs could affect the country's safety.

"Such protests can trigger dissatisfaction within the Muslim community and this could cause tension. "

I think people like Musa and the politicians cause enough tension and dissatisfaction for all of us Muslims and non-Muslims alike. Thank you very much.

I also read in the NST today that my old friend, Ronnie Liu was arrested for something that he allegedly did last year. Apparently, he tried to prevent police from carrying out their duties in sealing some hotel in Puchong! Anyway, in this latest Ronnie Liu-PDRM episode allegations have been made against the PDRM for being rather high-handed in the handling of what should have been a simple routine matter. Ok, you read, get a mental picture and decide if the PDRM were going a little overboard. Maybe.

Police yesterday denied allegations that Ronnie Liu was roughed up during his arrest at the lobby of the state secretariat on Wednesday. On Wednesday, Liu had asked why eight policemen had been sent to arrest him when he could have gone to the police station or court voluntarily if they had just called or written to him.

8 policemen were sent to arrest Ronnie Liu? Hahahaha...and they wonder why they don't have enough personnel to fight crime on city streets or direct traffic!!!??? Ok, for those of you who don't know Ronnie Liu, he isn't exactly The Terminator. And they arrested him in the lobby of the state secretariat??? Now just what were the PDRM flers trying to achieve here? And of course, the PDRM fler had to end things with a foot in his mouth...

Khalid said the law did not discriminate in its treatment of persons being detained and that the process was the same for everyone. "No one gets special treatment..."

Oh really??? No one gets special treatment issit? Where have you been living all these years? Zimbabwe?

In the latest example of Kerajaan-speak, Tourism minister, Azalina Othman Said, said (that's her name not my bad English)...

THE answer to Pempena Sdn Bhd's overseas restaurant business foray could lie in buying into existing successful restaurants that serve Malaysian food, instead of starting from scratch...

Typical isn't it? People are asking her to explain how her ministry's subsidiaries can lose multi-million Ringgits in bad investments overseas and she replies with something totally different.

Eh! Hello can tell us first how and why the millions were lost ah? Then we shall think about what we should do in future so as not to repeat the same stupid mistakes. One hole notchet cover want to dig another one for what?

By the way ah, the new term for misappropriating public funds is "not been showing the desired results". Good isnt' it? Very creative la. Anyway, I have always been suspicious about the minister's reasoning that people who go to a restaurant and say, "Hmmm...that was a delicious meal", will follow that up with, "Let's book our tickets for a holiday to May-lay-shuh!" But okay la. So, how did your ministry lose all those millions?

Wah! That took longer than I anticipated. Ok got to dump that bad coffee, shower and get to work.

NIAMAH!!!

p/s if they outlawed homosexuality and enforced the law and threw all gay people in jail...would there be some empty seats in parliament? Or fewer television shows maybe?

And now for something completely different...

Eunice Olsen - Singapore

Nominated Member of Parliament

Jazz pianist, singer, actress, model, show host

Syed Hamid Albar - Malaysia

Elected Member of Parliament

Errr...balding adult male, Bumiputra citizen...errr...oft-misquoted politician

Niamah!!!

I just don't get it. Or is it them that don't get it?

Very disorderly crowd at the event. Sorry, Father maybe it is your dress code that confused them. Guy in a frock? Cannot. Disperse!

Like other Malaysians I am very disturbed at what happened at the Bersih event in Petaling Jaya where ordinary Malaysians at a peaceful gathering were roughed up by the police. And where 24 people were arrested. The reason given by the police was that what happened was done to "ensure" public order. Okay, nothing wrong with that I suppose. After all that's what the police are supposed to do, right? But then what puzzled me was that in all the reports of the event that I have read there were hardly, if any, mention of anything untoward that happened. Much less anything that would even remotely resemble public "disorder". Got meh? If got and I missed it then minta maaf la (sorry la).

But wait ah....the Inspector-General (eh? He's back ah? I thought he sakit berat or something one) said the organiser did not apply for permit to hold the event. Oh so the police knew who the organiser was la. So why didn't they summon the fler and arrest him/her/them or whatever? The people who were there were just there on a peaceful Sunday walkabout isn't it? As far as I know there weren't any people there creating trouble or acts of violence. So what public order was the police trying to ensure? I mean if there was any "public order" being disturbed then tell us, who were not there, what happened la so that we don't always think that the Polis Diraja Malaysia are clueless morons, can ah? All I read in the news are things like..."Police ushered the crowd to Amcorp Mall before warning them to disperse". Huh? Warning me to disperse? Waffor? I am just there with my friends and family on a field which is a public area. Just because I happen to be holding a candle or two or singing my national anthem I am commiting a crime? Did anybody make inflamatory speeches? Were any seditious statements made to incite violence? Okay, so I was not there and I wouldn't know shit. But what I am saying is, "Hello! PDRM, Kerajaan Malaysia, give us a bit more detail la of your reasons for acting the way you did." So we can understand and don't have to hantam (hit) you all the time. Can ah?

And of course, an event like this would not be complete without something from that Syed fler. So here it is....TAAADAAAA!

"In that situation, the police had to act as it is their responsibility to enforce the law and ensure public order is maintained," he told reporters at the parliament lobby.

Syed Hamid said he had yet to receive the full report on the incident..........

So if you haven't received the full report, Syed it means you also know shit, right? So why didn't you shut the fuck up instead of saying something stupid? Again. Okay, okay...maybe the reporter misquoted you la. Okay.

NIAMAH!!!

What a nice guy!

Malaysia's astronaut/space tourist/angkasawan and now a government motivational speaker who pays his own way. What a hero! What a schmuck!

Our first astronaut/space tourist/angkasawan, Dr. Sheikh Muszaphar is embroiled in a controversy over claims that he received RM1.2 million in fees for making appearances and giving talks. Of course the usual No I didn't/ Yes you did/ No he didn't show was staged la. Anyway, I am not writing this to judge the angkasawan or anything like that. I am writing because I find the report on this case rather amusing. In The Sunday Star's online paper today...

“I am a millionaire? I wish I were,” he said in reaction to a report claiming that he had made a total of RM1.2mil by charging RM8,000 per hour.

Okay. Nothing wrong with that. So maybe he did, maybe he didn't.

The Angkasawan’s father, Datuk Sheikh Mustapha Syed Shukor, and brother Sheikh Taufik (who often accompanied him for talks around the country), also vouched for Dr Sheikh Muszaphar, saying he had never demanded fees and added that he was a victim of jealousy and backstabbing.

Okay. Nothing wrong there either. So maybe he did, maybe he didn't.

(His) father expressed disappointment with the way his son has been treated.

He said Dr Sheikh Muszaphar did not get much from the ministry, adding: “He was only given a car to use and paid a RM5,000-plus salary. He even has to pay for a driver and a bodyguard to see to his safety as he has to travel around a lot to give motivational talks.

What? He is paid a RM5,000-plus salary and out of this he has to employ and pay a driver and a body guard? And you say that he often brought his brother along. Wah! The two must be a really frugal pair man! Okay, it would be interesting to find out how much that -plus is worth. You know how Malaysians are when it comes to describing things like this. Hiyah cheap only la. 200-something only. When the price is 299! 200-something or 200-plus only. Either that or the driver and body guard servicing our national hero ain't of very high quality la. If that is the case...HOW CAN??? And some more he has to travel around a lot to give motivation to other Malaysians.

“When he is invited to give talks overseas, such as in the United States, he has to pay for lodging and flight tickets. So, if the organisers offer payment, he accepts them for these purposes,” Sheikh Mustapha said.

What the .... ! So you're actually telling me that our hero astronaut is not very smart issit? Go overseas to give talks and then have to pay air fare and accommodation out of his own pocket? Either he is not very smart or he was actually paid a lot for all his previous motivational talks to be able to afford this stupidity. So which is it? Oh wait...ah I see the organisers of these overseas talks do offer payment and he uses the money to pay his own way there. Sorry, I still think that is not very clever and I sure won't be asking my son to emulate him in a hurry, thank you very much.

He also said that Dr Sheikh Muszaphar was not given monetary rewards like other sportsmen who made the country proud.

So are you saying he should be?

“All he gets is his monthly salary"

Okay! Now we're getting somewhere. It's really all about money isn't it? I see...I see...I see...thank you. But I save the best for last..........

“He was also warned not to accept any datukship,” he said, adding that Dr Sheikh Muszaphar, however, accepted his datukship from the Yang di-Pertuan Besar of Negri Sembilan, his home state.

“He did not want to accept but I told him that the Yam Tuan Besar will murka (be angry).”

I mean....what the!...how the....oh I don't know la. Maybe the reporter who wrote that story lost something in the translation or maybe the angkasawan's father should be given lessons on how to be more precise about what he wants to public to know. I don't really don't know la. But it brought a smile to my face reading this crap on a Sunday morning.

Niamah!!!

That's not what I said!

In answer to a question in Parliament about his alleged statement that the police beat base in the Chow Kit area was closed as the place was deemed unsafe for policemen, Home Minister, Syed Hamid Albar pulled out the ever-convenient politician's excuse and basically said he was....MISQUOTED.

He said that the police beat base was closed as the owner of the building wanted it back.

“The beat base wasn’t closed due to a fear of criminals or health concerns,” he said.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh soooooooooooo!!! Now we understand. Thank you, Y.B. And so, to prove a point, I guess, Syed went on a walkabout in the area......

But there is something not right about this photo. I think it is a work of fiction. Not computer-generated-images but somehow.......fictional. Have you ever seen the Chow Kit Market area so clean, with so many people walking around wearing suits and ties and with so many policemen in uniform?

But to be fair, Syed isn't stupid. He took off his jacket.

Niamah!!!

This is funny

Norman Hakim, you get the award for originality in bullshit.

There might be something lost in translation in this story from The Star which was reporting on a report in Utusan Malaysia so you will have to make your own concessions as you read the story. I want you to read it and form your own conclusions if this isn't the funniest thing you've read in a long time. Here it is...

ACTOR Norman Hakim is willing to take starlet Memey Suhaiza as his second wife if that’s God’s will, Utusan Malaysia reported.

Norman, 32, however, did not confirm whether he was in a serious relationship with the 20-year-old actress.

“My love for my wife (Abby Abadi) is still very strong. Every day, I pray to Allah that only death will separate us. I do not want to split up with her through a divorce,” said the Gerak Khas TV series star.

However, Norman said he could not rule out the possibility that he and Memey may be fated to be together in future.

This is the first time in my memory where a man has actually blamed God for his adulterous affair with a woman while at the same time swearing in God's name that his love for his wife is very strong! I know polygamy is allowed in Islam but I am also very sure that Islam does not condone adultery. This man obviously wants to prove me wrong.

Funny? No?

Now, before any of you rush off to accuse me of insulting Islam and/or commenting on something that I am not qualified to comment etc. please know that I mean no disrespect to Islam or Muslims. I just find one man's attempts at defending his selfish actions quite hilarious.

Niamah!!!

What will they think of next?

Look at the small boy in the far left seat. He is not using a child safety seat. In the event of a bad collision he would most probably be decapitated by his seat belt. But at least his dad won't be summonsed or fined.

The first and only time I met Road Safety Department Director-General, Suret Singh was at a charity carnival held in the middle of a horse riding arena. That time his department had set up a stall to disseminate information on road safety to a generally disinterested Malaysian audience who were visiting the carnival. As I remember, the stall was empty for most of the day except for some young boys who went there to try their hands at the free computer game that was set up. Even that couldn't hold their interest for more than 10 minutes. I remember Mr. Suret and I took advantage of the poor turnout at his department's stall to chat about a subject that he appeared very passionate about. Road safety. He shared some of his thoughts with me. And I shared some of mine. We chatted for almost an hour as I remember. At the end of our conversation I also remember going away with the pessimistic view that Mr. Suret was wasting his time and the public's money. Basically, my argument was that road safety must be instilled right from the start. In primary schools, in family daily lives, in driving schools and that most of all road safety rules must be enforced rigidly if any success is to be achieved in our efforts to get out of the record books as the country with one of the worse road safety standards and records. TV commercials, posters, banners, road safety games at shopping malls etc. are just not going to work.

Well since our meeting Mr. Suret has become a Datuk. He has initiated many efforts to try and improve Malaysia's road safety record. Strangely, I don't remember many of those. Presumably they mustn't have made much of a difference. And these days Datuk Suret is in the news again. This time it is the issue of rear seat belts. It seems that from January 1, 2009 rear passengers must belt up or face fines. Good or not? Hmmmm....I don't know la. Think about it.

In a country where........
Toddlers are allowed to ride standing up in the front seat of cars without any form of safety restraint. Child safety seats are not required by law. Motorcycles are allowed to carry up to 4 passengers, most of the time children. Car owners are allowed to use the left lane of major highways and busy central city streets as parking lots. Lane discipline is totally unknown. Road signs are almost always conveniently hidden behind trees. Direction indication by drivers is considered to be indicative of the said drivers being wimps. Motorists and motor-cylists ignore basic traffic laws like traffic lights with impunity. Traffic police patrol cars casually drive by un-attended vehicles parked on pedestrain walkways. Kap-cai (mopeds) riders make illegal U-turns right in front of traffic policemen. P0lice road block personnel still routinely ask questions like, "Macamana? Naik tolong ke?" Where traffic laws are a 2-tiered system. One for ordinary Malaysian vehicles and another set for single digit or luxury vehicles with illegally tinted windows.
................they are now telling us that we must belt up rear passengers for safety!!!???

I am sure this law will make some selt belt manufacturers very happy. And I am also sure that a few 'black sheep' in the PDRM's traffic division will welcome the move because they can 'selesai' a few Ringgit here and there to help with rising costs of living. But save lives? Naaaaaaaaah! I don't think so la.

Before it even starts problems are beginning to surface.

Apparently, if the vehicle can carry 3 passengers in the rear there must be 3 sets of belts provided. But if the driver decides to carry a 4th passenger that passenger is exempt from the belt up law. Huh???!!!

Although the law comes into force on January 1, 2009 the car companies seem to have been caught with their pants down or their belts un-buckled so to speak. "Errrr...sorry ah. We have not received instructions from headoffice yet la"......."Cars without anchorage points will be given a special sticker as proof that they have gone for checks at our service centres" - now just what the fuck does that mean???

But there is one thing in this whole charade that is VERY Malaysian la. With all the loose ends flying about the 'authorities' are busy deciding if it should be the driver or the offending passenger or both who should be summonsed for not using the rear safety belt.

Famous Malaysian last words?

"No clear rules for the new directive has been set...." - Federal Traffic Chief Senior Asst Comm II Abdul Aziz Yusuf. The operative words being NO CLEAR RULES of course.

NIAMAH!!!

It used to be...............

"If the Muslims want a healthy body, prayers are the right choice," says, UKM lecturer Prof Zakaria Stapa.
(Yeah we're just as incredulous as that kid in the photo)

Remember? It used to be that all we had to worry about was PAS taking hold of a couple more states and segregating males and females in supermarket check out lines and cinemas. It was just another day in Malaysian politics, right? Well, not any more. These days it's......

Tomboy-ism banned.
Yoga is a cause of religious deviation.
Exclusive rights to the name of God.

Sigh. You're right. Those were simpler and happier times. Yeah, this is a short post. Sunday what! Day of rest ma.

Niamah!!!