It is now less than 17 days to Malaysia's National Day celebrations 2009. And as we locals say, "Now only want to go and find a song to sing on the padang ah?" Prime Minister has called on Malaysians to participate in the selection of the National Day theme song. Why? He wants the song to be "from the rakyat, selected by the Rakyat and for the Rakyat". Hiyoh! Can't the man even be original with something like this? What's even more funny is that Najib announced that the winning song would be announced on National Day!!! Huh!!!??? I thought that a song like that is one which he would want the nation to know and sing during the National Day celebrations. No ah? Only start learning it from National Day issit? What la! Oh by the way, these 10 songs are written by "individuals from various backgrounds". Now, what the ***K does that mean? (You can listen to the 10 songs here. This is Singapore's National Day 2009 song. Which isn't very good either but they all knew it and were singing along to it already at their recent National Day Parade. I doubt if we will ours. Cos in our PM's infinite wisdom he's made it a contest. So instead of something to gel the Rakyat together the national day song becomes a divisive tool. Again. Sigh.)
Remember how we used to gloat in defiance whenever we were criticized for anything by saying, "Hey! At least we're better than Ghana." Then Ghana got a spot in the World Cup and we couldn't use that line anymore. We were lost for a while. Don't know what to say la. But have no fear. Najib is here with a new line...... "MALAYSIANS ARE BLESSED TO LIVE IN A COUNTRY THAT WAS NOT ONLY BEAUTIFUL, BUT WELL ADMINISTERED FOR THE PAST 52 YEARS.....(AND).....THERE IS NO OTHER COUNTRY IN THE WORLD THAT IS AS BLESSED AS MALAYSIA." It's a lot more unwieldy but ...... okay.....yay! I think. Thanks, Najib. Now whenever things fuck up we shall just tell ourselves and whoever is not laughing too hard that we are Blessed! Hallelujah....oh is that allowed? Sorry ah.
Poor Rais Yatim. I sure hope he enjoys eggs because of late he's been getting a lot of those. Right in his face. With Najib in the front line and with terrific aim too. No more Internet filtering now says Rais. We got sufficient laws to to nab (I love how our journo's and YB's use this word) people responsible for negative practices. Are any of you familiar at all with the saying in Cantonese that roughly sounds like (if I may sound even more colloquial) Teet lork dei har, chup farn jar sar. Translated very literally it is "fall on the ground also must pick up a handful of sand". In English I guess it means coming up with a silly defense when all is obviously ***ked! Sorry ah. My Engrand not so cheem (Hokkein for deep) la. And just so he leaves the scene with that sneer he's become so known for recently, Rais's parting shot when asked how immediate the crackdown on Internet abusers would be, he said rather threateningly, "You cannot imagine, maybe I can summarise by saying the task is ahead of us and we have to keep up." Well, at least the last part of his statement is true. I just hope he and his 2 colleagues, Hishammudin and Nazri have a clue and can keep up with the times.
The Star reported that The National University of Singapore’s East Asian Institute senior research fellow Dr Bo Zhiyue said the use of such Internet filtering mechanisms was healthy as it would filter out any communication which might harm the interests of others.
He said this after presenting a talk on “China’s Model of Democracy” (Huh!!!???) in Universiti Tunku Abdul Rahman yesterday. Asked whether the Malaysian Government’s plan to censor the Internet would be an impediment to freedom of speech, he said the move would be able to block out negative behaviour but cautioned that this must be done in moderation and not be completely restrictive.The above is ironically funny. I think Dr. Bo is a Chinese national or used to be, and he works for the government of Singapore. Great hero-nations for freedom of speech. Yes?
Now, I am not trying to influence your rankings of today's funnies but when I read this next story I almost fell off my chair laughing. Selangor Religious Department (JAIS) is planning to summons the employees of the convenience store in Shah Alam which is in the middle of the Shah Alam beer controversy. Two Muslim employees of the convenience store were served notices for handling alcohol beverages during a raid by Selangor Religious Department (JAIS). The manager of the store, located in Section 25, would also be called to JAIS to explain why Muslim employees were handling alcoholic beverages. Under the Syariah Criminal Offences (State of Selangor) Enactment 1995 Muslims who were caught selling or offering alcoholic drinks can be fined up to RM5,000, or three years jail or both.
When I first read that I had the usual reaction of a alcohol-consuming infidel and thought "Hiyah! If they enforce the law then thousands of people will be out of work and hotels and restaurants and bars in the whole of Selangor will close shop." Then I re-read the statement and realised that it says, "......Muslims who were caught selling or offering alcoholic drinks......" So if you look at things properly none of those flers in that Shah Alam convenience store or any of the hotels, bars and restaurants are actually committing any crime. They are not selling because the business does not belong to them. They are only serving. They don't offer because they only serve when the customer requests for it. So, like some other flers in Perak said some months ago, if someone asks or offers it would be terribly rude not to acquiesce. No?
I don't know about you la. But I am laughing so hard today and it feels damn good la.