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Tuesday, October 13, 2009


See? We just below Dominican Republic and Brazil. Good what.

Years ago when Jit Murad was a performing member of The Instant Cafe Theatre Company's political satire shows he coined the saying that Malaysia was at least ..."better than Ghana" when rebutting all the stories of Malaysian silliness that he was telling. And the phrase became the standard answer whenever anybody said something bad or pointed out some shortcoming about Bolehland. Then Ghana made it into the World Cup of football while Malaysian soccer became the butt of jokes among local fans of the sport and was totally ignored by everybody else. So we became NOT AS GOOD AS GHANA instead.

Then a few days ago a United Nations survey told us that our GDP per capita was lower than that of Botswana!

And yesterday, at the 1e-Government Conference 2009 at Putrajaya (yes everything is "1" these days. And yes while we're at it, will someone tell me what the fuck e-Government means?) it was announced that Malaysia's ranking worldwide in the implementation of e-government is below that of the Dominican Republic and Brazil!

That announcement was made by none other than the Minister in the Prime Minister’s Department, Koh Tsu Koon. Otherwise known as the-guy-who-lost-so-now-we-have-to-find-someplace-to-put-him.

And to think that our country was at one time one of the Asian Tigers. Those days are long gone. And while some of the other tigers are now on their way to recovering and morphing into at least Tabby Cats if not Tigers we seem to be bent on achieving the title of top Asian pussy.

Oh well, at least we still have the monicker "1Malaysia". We can hang on to that for some time I guess because I don't see any other country in a hurry to attach a number to their name just yet.



Anonymous said...

top asian pussy - rossie issit???

monsterball said...

See the face...want to womit.
This low down good for nothing .is a disgrace to the Chinese.
Look at his 18 years as CM of Penang...turning the
"Pearl of the Orient" into a city of rubbish and dirt....a paradise for thieves and robbers.
This useless Gerakan politician..loves to carry UMNO balls...with no shame nor dignity.
Is Samy is a traitor to Indians...Koh Tsu Koon is a traitor to Chinese.
Yes...KTK face makes me sick to the stomach.

Anonymous said...

Everything is 1e-govt, 1Malaysia, 1 this 1 that...

that's why u should end ur posting by shouting "1 Niamah"!! ;)

Anonymous said...

The glory days for Bolehland is now a history.

We will be in deep shit once the oil field dries up.

1Ringgit said...

1Najib will amend UMNO constitution to wipe out corruption:

"The amendments could abolish money politics because the numbers that can vote will be too huge to be influenced by anyone. Even if there is an attempt to do so, it would be easily detected"

In other words, only the super-rich UMNOputera will control the party.

-naga- said...

e-Government means an online service provided by a government where you can do all your government related tasks without having to walk into a government department. Some of the tasks you can do is renew car license, file your tax return, download government forms, apply for youth allowance (such as in Australia), unemployment benefits and so on..

Well, all that e-government stuff is for other countries la.. For Malaysia you will get either "Page still loading" or "Page can't be found"..

k4kenny said...

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha........laughing at your 'top Asian pussy' joke. Hahahahahahahahahahahahaahahah..........! How apt!

Chan said...

1Sorry 1to 1make 1correction ...

1e-Government 1means 1an 1online 1service 1provided 1by 1a 1government 1where 1you 1can 1do 1all 1your 1government 1related 1tasks 1without 1having 1to 1walk 1into 1a 1government 1department.

1I 1will 1be 1damn!


Anonymous said...

Those days E was an inthing glamorous name and many companies sprung up using name begin with E
eventhough their activities got nothing to do with E or dont even knwo what is E meant for .

Now it's glamourous to use 1.

If you plan to operate a cleaning service then these few names may cross your mind for your company-

1. 1 shit
2. 1 rubbish
3. 1 junk
4. 1 crap
5. 1 fart
6. 1 discharge
7. 1 dom - dirty old mess.
8. ..............

one kokk family.

1 rubi

Anonymous said...

It reminds me of tadpole.

Thats' the 1 tadpole and eventually
1 frog.

Anonymous said...

Koh tsu goon
chua soi lek
kong cho ha
donald duck siang chai
Tiong nia singh






Anonymous said...

e govt like msc fucking use....u dare trust to use e govt for crucial transactions ah???!!! if so u real so hai!

myrayza said...

Hahaha.. so funny...

Trashed said...

E government ?

If you cannot retrieve information on your property online from the Land Office, is that eGovernment ?

I believe this concept was mooted when the MSC (remember that?) was launched in the mid 90s, together with eMedicine and 5 other e-whatcamacallit that I cannot remember.

To be fair, there have been some improvements in the delivery of certain govt services since the mid 90s. The trouble is that while some areas are seen to have improved, others are lacking woefully behind.

And of course, Malaysia ranked 48 out of 66 countries in the Oxford University Said School of Business study of global broadband services.

But be prepared for someone to say that we should be thankful that we have such services ....

artchan said...

anon 614pm

How can a big fat butt be top asian pussy?

Something you know that I don't?

Anonymous said...

pat, have you tried the 'ONE ton me'?

casper c said...

Some say 'cicak', others say bird face, but when the history of contemporary M'sian history is written, this Koh fella will go down in history as the man who lost an island.

Terima-kasih Gerakan for giving up Penang Island back to the 'rakyat'.

1middlefinger said...

Seems like we need to compare to third world country for to shows that we are ok with the current leadership. DOOMSDAY is near.
Damned fed up with all the '1' thing........

David Lee said...

................long time we are into the LONGKANG already la....Pat....shit.

David Lee said...

.....kan nin nah boh.........tiu niamah.........

David Lee said...

...............his backside full of shit la..thats why he needs to come from behind the back door and kowtow to them.....stupid corrupted chinese bastard.

Anonymous said...

Next move will be....
1Sayang....dotty pet project


Hamba said...

It won't be long until Malaysia is not in the ranking at all. At least not in the ranking that matters. Malaysia could well be no 1 in the worst country in everything... There you have it, with Najib at the helm, we are heading for no.1 alright.. no.1 in the gutter! 1Malaysia,1World and we're the only 1(one) in the longkang!

Anonymous said...

Poor fella, from the Chief Minister of Penang to a messenger boy.
Najib said " You have nothing to do ah? Go and announce this."
He is just obeying orders from his master lah.
Its pathetic enough already.
Look at his expression.
He didn't even have the guts to put his picture back on the wall.
Remember that?
Give him a break!

Anonymous said...

Malaysia is always 1 tis and 1 that:
* 1Carcompanyonly
* 1APholder
* 1Contractornotenderneeded
* 1Highwayconcessionaire
* 1Waterconcessionaire
* 1Foreignworkerimporter
* 1Partyruleall
* 1Raceruleall
* 1Religionmakestherulesforall

Anonymous said...

e-government is a joke. You can fill up your application form quite fast using "e-government" . But then the people in the government will sit on your application for months or years, and nothing moves! So the fcu*&^% e-government is just a damn facade.At the back, all the same blady mess remains. Yeah, our tax dollars go to pay these ba&^% for doing no work.

Anonymous said...

The pukeface was a CM for 18 years???? I wonder why the Penangites were so stupid! The fats from the charkoayteow must have made their brains lethargic and bodoh. Luckily the Penangites finally woke up in GE2008!

Anonymous said...

Hey..! I like The Pussy Cat Dolls, you know..!!

But I like the Malaysian version "better"..!! Don't cha, Pat???

Why Malaysia is ranked like that is becoz of the way Malaysia "IS" govern....!!!!

1 Pussy Niamah......!

Anonymous said...

Hi Pat,
KTK was lucky in his early CM days when Singapore was helping to promote investments into Penang.Everybody is happy in Penang & KTK gets the credit.Then complacency and self interests comes in.Standards head south and it is very difficult to stop a slide because it takes years to rot and it takes many more to redeem.

Anonymous said...

Brazil via Rio will be hosting the 2016 Olympics. Don't play play with Brazil.

Dominican Republic now also beat us?! Where is that country? Next time ah for all these strange countries please lah put up map and point where it is. Can a not? Educated in Malaysia you know. Don't know too many countries in the world.

jonestation said...

is it just me or anyone felt the same, this photo of KSK, he looked like E.T..

1NIASENG said...

What is this 1eGovernment?eGovernment is eGovernment why the f8ck must add a 1 infront?As if 1 is their trade mark. So now all government bodies must add a 1 in front,like 1Kementrian Kewangan,1Bank Negara,1Jabatan Immegresen,1MARDI,1FELDA,1MACC,1PKA,1PPPN,1........... 1NIAMAH!

Anonymous said...

check the ONE setalite map laa ,ok ? like dat oso dunno ONE ...aiyah , u belajar standard ONE ah ? wat sekolah ONE ? wat else u ONE to NO ah ? pls try ' ONE ton me'...ok ?

Anonymous said...

y u like dat ONE !

Anonymous said...

masturbation is self-screwing wo ?
have u tried self-sodomy !?

ktteokt said...

Self-pacificationlah, niamah!

nana tanjung said...

KTK has sold out the interest of the Chinese community in Penang, so much so that he is kow-towing to the likes of ahmad Ismail of UMNO.

Penang could have been the jewel of the orient. It was not developed during Mahathir regime as money is diverted to so-called develope Langkawi.

LGE has done great in the last one year to restore the past glory. Penang can certainly emulate singapore to leverage on its strength in the Chinese majority.

Anonymous said...

KJ's 1Melayu dream:

“My dream is to one day see local institutions of higher education filled with Malays not because of quotas, but because Malays are there based on merit.

“Whilst we protect the quotas now, let us not forget that they are only supposed to aid us, and not be a lifeline for the Malays unto perpetuity."

Superman said...

Haha. I like the last word of the post! Malaysia isgoing nowhere as I guess with the current policies implemented.

eugene said...

Anyway, i really dont like this guy Ah Khoon, after 18 years at the helm of Penang's admin, left much to desire.

Look at us now, a refreshing discovery after the seizure from PR, especially Ah Eng.

If you take a random interview among the penangites,you would be very surprised to hear that " we feel so much better now"

I am a 100 % Penang Kia, and i know what i am talking about,

so now, i dont read anything coming out from Ah Khoon, i only pray that Ah Eng will be the CM for another one or two more terms

Anonymous said...

Umno sometimes expose itself as a two-faced hypocrite. On one hand it broadcasts the inclusive message of 1Malaysia, but on the other hand, it also unleashes the racial rhetoric of Malay newspapers it controls. Make no mistake, these are controlled and tacitly sanctioned by the party’s highest leaders.

In short, UMNO is 2-headed snake.
Better be caeful!

ANN BK3 said...

KSK do the right and honourable thing and call it a day!! Why subject
yourself to be a 'glutton for punishment' and being 'manhandled'.
The writing is on the wall and if you still don't take the cue, then we can only conclude that you yearn to be the next 'Semi-Value' in the making!!

Anonymous said...

Hello 1Pat,

I only educated up to 1Standard primary school so do not know where is Dominican Republic. Is this country also a banana republic country like 1Malaysia?

Anonymous said...

Uncle Pat,

Hahahaha e-government? 1Malaysia certainly has:-

1) evil-government (PDRM, MACC, Judiciary, etc)
2) easy-government ("Buat Kerja" slogans & banners)
3) erotic-government (porn actors cum politicians, sodomy I & II obsession)
4) erection-government (once every 5 years)
5) eternal-government (52 years of unbroken BN rule)
6) egoistic-government (Malaysia boleh, 1Malaysia, 1Petronas Twin Towers, 1UMNO, 1Corruption, 1NEP, etc)
7) easy riders-government (mat rempits sympathisers)
8) eenie-meenie-minnie-moe-government (flip-flop goverment)

Anonymous said...

This is a result of too many years of neglect in the English language.

Anonymous said...

care to tell how you knew WAN rossie has big derriere?
something you know more that i don't.

1anon joe

Anonymous said...

i support .. 1finger the middle 1 ...

this koh ta kut nobody want him already he still so thick skin ..

Anonymous said...

1 Malaysia

Rakyat DiperSOHAIkan
Harta Disapukan

Anonymous said...

1 LIAR. Mongolia hss great milk but darn may be contaminated.

Khun Pana aka johanssm said...

Yes lah,
so much hype about the " 1 "
Is Nazak sending a signal to all Muslim men ar?
1 man = 1 pussy. Not 2 or 3 pussies.

1Malaysia = 1 NiaMah

Anonymous said...

Jeeeezzzzz...whenever i see the face of that arse-licking, ball- polishing, thickskinned face of that Koh guy, i really wanna puke!!! He's not called bolehland's no1 BODEK KING for no reason....

Anonymous said...

Just like the World Universities rankings, this United Nations GDP rankings also rubbish,no need to bother it at all.We know how good we are and there is no need to be surveyed by foreigners.Our football also still not bad,why FA ranked us below Laos and Cambodia is pure fiction.So be smart,dont believe all these foreign nonsense.We everything also good.Dont let people bluff you.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

I must say that Reject Shop is better than this Rejected Fella ! At least, Reject Shop provide good quality wardrobe with affordable prices ! This fella, a disgrace to the Chinese community ! What is he doing in this so called KPI department ? Wasting his talent !

Still hanging onto someone's balls !

1Niamah !!!

katztales said...

Let's not hope these yoyos learn about Twitter because the next thing you know we'll be @1Malaysia

laimun said...

Y u all hitting on Khor Soo Uoon. People face like that God make mah. He good one. C the way he talk. Slow slow one, words come out like nuggets, one drop by one drop. Now he holds very important job. Specially selected by Najib. I can see poor fella scratching his balls how to fill in Bung Mokhtar's KPI form. Life not so easy now.

Asian pussy....u really funny, Niamah.

Ho ho ho said...

I remembered KSK saying that he does not want to be appointed a senator if he lost in the election. And I found this. It was in the Star. Maybe he is older, that's why he cannot remember what he said.

Saturday March 8, 2008

Koh: No senator post if I lose in Batu Kawan

PENANG: Outgoing Chief Minister Tan Sri Dr Koh Tsu Koon does not want to be appointed senator if he loses the Batu Kawan parliamentary seat.

To read more

Anonymous said...

Pat,I can live with niamah but some of the comments here are a wee bit crude la>>

Bangkitlah said...

Have you ever seen KTK speak up for the Chinese?

I rest my case.

Anonymous said...

To Ho Ho Ho,

Well, Cina mudah lupa !

Ronald said...

found this interesting piece...

Cadraver said...

Actually Patrick, if Malaysia is known across the region for having 'top Asian pussy,' then we should bloody well proud.

If you know what I mean. Heh heh. ;)

Ho ho ho said...

Maybe we can remind KTK about it. Patrick, how about posting the Star report in this site. Then we ask Ah Kook, aun cuao kong ?

Anonymous said...

One UMNO delegate said " All Barisan state seats in Pg were won by UMNO. None of the other BN component parties did anything to help...." What he was saying is : To hell with Gerakan, to hell with MCA, to hell with MIC!!! The writing on the wall is so very clear... and why this dick-head is still around to carry Najib's balls?

Anonymous said...

I love this post.. Asian Pussy. Meaning Najib is the biggest Asian Pussy then? Wonder what Altantuya think of THAT up there?

Ho ho ho said...

Because the UMNO fellas have smash his picture and got him by the balls. Teh lam pa

Anonymous said...


A pole platform was supplied by a company to the Miri Industrial Training Institute (ILP) in Sarawak at a cost of RM30,510 while similar equipment was bought by the ILP in Sandakan and Kepala Batas for RM1,600 and RM1,240, respectively, according to the auditor-general.

The Auditor-General’s Report of 2008 says the prices, besides being vastly different, were also way above the market price, indicating that no market research was done.

This was among the drastic weaknesses identified by the auditor-general’s department in the management of equipment at three types of training institutions – ILP, the Advanced Technology Training Centre (ADTEC) and the Japan-Malaysia Technical Institute – under the Manpower Department of the Human Resources Ministry.

“The prices offered by the suppliers were not scrutinised, leading to vast differences in the prices for similar equipment among the ILPs,” the report says.

RPK said...

While the Quran forbids the drinking of intoxicating substances, it is ‘silent’ on the punishment. But over 300 years from the mid-600s to the mid-900s, one Qadi (Kadi), the equivalent of a court official during the time of the Caliphs, decided that the punishment for drinking should be the same as that of the punishment for false allegations of adultery, meaning 80 lashes.

So, if Kartika is supposed to be punished according to ‘Islamic law’, then why a fine of RM5,000 and six lashes? Should not the correct punishment be 80 lashes as decided by the Qadi during the era of the mid-600s to the mid-900s? The Qadi during the time of the Caliphs did not impose a fine plus six lashes. It was 80 lashes.

We must remember that the Shariah was not carved in stone, so to speak. It in fact never existed during the time of the Prophet. It developed over 300 years after the Prophet had died. And by the year 1,000 there was no longer any discussion or ‘development’ allowed.

KPI for IGP said...

What is the KPI for IGP?

Deputy Home Minister Datuk Abu Seman Yusop told Parliament today that Inspector General of Police Tan Sri Musa Hassan’s contract was extended for another year because of his “excellent performance.”

But the DAP’s Lim Kit Siang, who had spearheaded a campaign to remove Musa, responded by calling the IGP “incompetent” because the country’s crime rate had soared in recent years.

Anonymous said...

After 200 days, “Tiger” Najis finally came :-

Press Freedom Index 2009
No. 131 Malaysia

Lower than Mongolia (91)

1ThumbDrive said...

Auditor-General’s Report of 2008 indicated that a government dept bought a1GB thumbdrive at RN480 each!

MACC, why no action?

Narrowband said...

Groundhog Day.

The Information Communication and Culture Minister Datuk Seri Dr Rais Yatim wants the 50 per cent broad band connectivity to be achieved in households early next year.

I thought years ago Lim Kheng Yaik said something like this before he retired.

Groundhog Day!

Anonymous said...

THE Terengganu government wasted RM10.5mil buying 26 buses that had to be virtually grounded when it abandoned plans to use the new buses to ply urban and inter-district routes because of objections from existing bus operators.

Ho ho ho said...

Can the excellent performance IGP explain these.

From the Star on 20 Oct...UPPER class and urban Malays are patronising an entertainment outlet in KL Sentral where girls perform sexy dances on top of the bar, Kosmo! reported in its front page......Brickfields district police chief Asst Comm Wan Abdul Bari Wan Abdul Khalid said police had raided the outlet several times since early this year.

And this one also from the Star on Oct 18....GEORGE TOWN: A man who recorded women from China queuing up to get onto a police truck had his cellphone seized by a policewoman on Anson Road here....Police sources said the outlet had been raided at least 10 times.

I am sure there are many more such cases

Anonymous said...

Who in their right mind would pay RM42,320 for a laptop?

Kolej Kemahiran Tinggi Mara Balik Pulau in Penang not only paid the price but bought two units of the same brand – Acer Aspire-5052ANWXMI, at a whopping price of RM84,640, said the Auditor-General’s Report.

In addition, the college purchased 450 units of computer CAD with network card at RM3.45mil for 12 labs. Each 19-inch monitor costs RM8,500 while a 17-inch monitor costs RM7,500.

“A check with local companies showed that the market price for the latest model is between RM5,350 to RM6,500 each. Worse still the computers, Precision 390 Dell, that were supplied are no longer in the market,” it said.

YongTauFoo said...

Tan Sri Dr Koh Tsu Koon confirmed in Parliament today that the government had engaged Apco Worldwide, an international public affairs and media relations company, to boost its image overseas in a contract worth some RM20 million .

Now we know how 1Malaysia idea is originated.

By the way, if your overseas friend ask you what 1Malaysia is, tell him IMalaysia means a Malay is now enjoying Yong Tau Foo. That is what i learnt from Filem Negara malaysia on TV. Hee hee.

1KLS said...

Why is the MACC, which has taken over ACA to become more effective and successful in the war against corruption, proving to be the opposite – when it should be now full steam to investigate into the financial improprieties and irregularities as exposed by the Auditor-General’s 2008 Reports as it would have received them much earlier as is the practice?

Is this because the MACC has nothing much to show for its investigations into the shocking exposes of financial improprieties, irregularities and malpractices of past Auditor-General reports and has learnt the lesson not to raise false hopes?

Other events in the past week, both inside and outside Parliament, which do not contribute to public confidence that Najib has the political will to effect far-reaching reforms despite his “1Malaysia. People First. Performance Now” slogan are:

•The RM12.5 billion Port Klang Free Zone (PKFZ) scandal – no political will to give full accountability and transparency when my question of the PKFZ scandal on the first day of Parliament on Oct. 19 was taken off for six weeks till Dec. 3, which has never happened before in 52 years of Parliament;

•Renewal of Tan Sri Musa Hassan as IGP – the ridiculous parliamentary answer by the Deputy Home Minister, Abu Seman Yusup that Musa’s term was extended for a year because of his “excellent performance”.

•Closure of V.K. Lingam case, as revealed by Minister in the Prime Minister’s Department, Datuk Seri Nazri Aziz that no legal action would be taken despite the recommendation of the Royal Commission of Inquiry into Lingam Tapes that action be taken.

•Teoh Beng Hock’s mysterious death at MACC Hqrs in Shah Alam on July 16, 2009, and the expert testimony by Thai forensic pathologist Dr. Pornthip Rojanasunand of 80 percent probability of homicide and only 20 per cent suicide.

These events all point to one direction – that the Najib premiership has no political will to effect far-reaching reforms to restore national and international confidence in the key national institutions in the country, in particular the judiciary, the Attorney-General’s Chambers, the Police and the MACC and to declare an all-out war against corruption.

Anonymous said...

The government wants to cut 15 per cent of operating expenses in the 2010 Budget. In fact, it should first reduce the government department's wild expenses, including mismanagement, waste and fraud. It may help the Treasury to save tens of billions ringgit.

The Auditor-General's Report has once again revealed the malpractice in the public domain. But the incident of fraud repeats year after year and the government takes no actions against it.

Anonymous said...

The yearly auditor's report shows billions of taxpayers hard earned money was lost through leakages and high price paid for government assets. This proves that rules and regulations for procurement of government assets are not adhered to by those entrusted with the responsibilities.

But surprisingly, no top officials who were implicated in misdeeds were charged in court and every year the audit report will "sing" the same song without any improvement by those in charge to stop the leakage from draining future.

As long as those high officials who has skimmed public funds by dubious means are not hauled up to court for their misdeeds, don't expect any improvement in our ranking for being one of the most corrupt countries in the world.

FAM pussy said...

Better than Ghana?

Let Michael Essien and his Ghana team play the FAM top 11 and see how far our football has dropped in standing!

Ho ho ho said...

Maybe KPI Minister can start KPI on action taken from auditor general's report

Pussyjaya said...

Malaysia has got a new striped tiger in Amber Chia besides those pussies in Putrajaya:

McMomok said...

Tian Chua only bit the policeman after he was punched. Why was the policeman not charged for overstepping the use of force? Or does all law enforcers in this country has the right to use any amount of force to subdue, not just reasonable force.

Here we have VK Lingam who had caused worse damage to the country - where is the sense of common decency of the attorney-general (rational Malaysians already knows that his sense has been long sold to the highest bidder) of the man who had been tasked to uphold the rule of law (one of the tenets of Rukunegara)?

Where is my beloved Malaysia heading to? An inherently evil man as PM who will stop as nothing to achieve his political aims, a police force which is headed by an incompetent man, an AG who prosecute selectively...

Anonymous said...

What is the KPI for Najib?

McSatu said...

KPI for Najib:

1) Win back lost states at 'any' cost, but without any use of C4.
2) Get featured in Time or Newsweek magazine as cover story.
3) 1Malaysai F1 team on podium in Sepang next year with Campro engine.
4) Get Patrick Teoh to write an tribute article on him on Niamah blog.
5) Get another 2 submarines delivered without commission to Razak Baginda

Anonymous said...

One more KPI for najib:

Stay loyal to Rosmah

Anonymous said...

Don't be a harimau, be a kucing kurap. At least it shows our humility.

Anonymous said...

Gerakan tak boleh greak lagi.
kena makan Viagra!

Anonymous said...

jangan makan Viagra.
Beli barangan Malaysia - Tongkat Ali.

KTK, are you listening?

Prof Khoo Kay Kim said...

The government should accept the Auditor-General's report in good faith and straightaway initiate necessary action to correct the anomalies immediately.

KPI - get the culprits hanged.

Anonymous said...

Will we see KTK having a showdown with the Sri Gading MP?