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Thursday, October 29, 2009

Some comic relief from my home state, Perak

Oi! Saya boleh kira tahu!

For years now I have wondered what qualifies a person to be a member of the Malaysian police force. Intelligence? Muscles? A razor sharp mind? A Sherlock Holmes sense of deduction? Today I found out that it is none of the above. So what is it?

The inability to count or tell time.

Watch this Malaysiakini video. The day is May 27, 2009.

"Eight Perak Pakatan Rakyat elected representatives and six others were arrested by the Ipoh police about 11.25am for alleged illegal assembly. They were arrested while walking in a procession from the DAP headquarters to the High Court to observe a suit being filed against the BN state government over the sacking of elected village heads."

Forward to the 03:40 of the video and listen to the policeman with the loud hailer.

"Ok, saya bagi 3 minit untuk bersurai. Kalau kamu tidak mendengar ini merupakan perhimpunan tanpa sebarang permit. Saya akan tangkap. Okay, satu-dua-tiga...TANGKAP!"

Remember, he said 3 minit ya? Now you count for yourself la. Satu...dua...tiga...did that take 3 minutes? But to a Malaysian policeman that IS 3 minutes or tiga minit. Maybe their time goes by faster than ours.

Oh my goodness! This is f**king hilarious!



jason said...

hahahahaha...... It happened to quickly.. i dunno wat happened..!! (04:50 from video)

Anonymous said...

Dear Pat,

Yet another disgrace, and misuse of the Police force. Like dogs, they take order without the rationale thinking.



Hamba said...

It's a wonder he didn't say, "1Malaysia! 2Malaysia! 3Malaysia...Ok..tangkap.. Mr PM Sir, I'm your loyal supporter..See even when counting I include your slogan...Err...Can I have a contract to build a suspension bridge???" UMNO memang 1Malaysia tahu BODOH tp these mangkuk Policeman is doubly soo.....That goes for the top policeman too... a turkey of stupidity!

Hamba said...

It's a wonder he didn't say, "1Malaysia! 2Malaysia! 3Malaysia...Ok..tangkap.. Mr PM Sir, I'm your loyal supporter..See even when counting I include your slogan...Err...Can I have a contract to build a suspension bridge???" UMNO memang 1Malaysia tahu BODOH tp these mangkuk Policeman is doubly soo.....That goes for the top policeman too... a turkey of stupidity!

Anonymous said...

Let's hope the Polis do not resort to:

"3 minit, 1.2.3... Tembak!"

Anonymous said...

Youtube video:

Polis stopping Pakatan from entering Dewan Negeri.

3Minit said...

Next time Polis shout "Tiga Minit", you know what they mean.

Did the Polisman pass UPSR?

Cute Malaysian? said...

How much is Anna Kournikova paid in KL to don baju kurung and launch the 'Showdown of Champions 2009'?

Syiok sendiri to hear anna said "Malaysian men are cute"?

What kind of champions are Elena Dementieva, Maria Kirilenko, Sania Mirza and Zheng Jie?

Anonymous said...

Actually the policemen are in difficult position...

Giving 3 seconds doesn't make sense...

But if the policemen really wait for 3 minutes, the crowd would have dispersed already.

Then how to explain to their boss for failing to 'tangkap' any demonstrator?

Anonymous said...

3 saat pun tak tau...

habis lah ni...

RM50 tau kan?

duit kopi lor....

Anonymous said...

You are not alone ! Perak is also my home state !

In any game, there are bound to be winners and losers ! Rules and regulations play an important role !

In this instance, the rules and regulations are vague ! That's why 2 parties cry fowl and they are submitting their cases to the courts !

By now, we all know that somethings are lopsided !

BN=PDRM=MACC=Judiciary ! Pakatan Raykat = rakyat !

Now you see, why the BN refused to dissolved the Perak Assembly !

The men in blue are submitting to their political masters and no matter how they are trained, they cannot say no to their masters !

By now, only God can save Malaysia !

1Malaysia ! 2 Peraks ! 1Niamah !

Trevor said...


Or maybe they just can't differentiate "minit" and "saat" !!!!!

Ho ho ho said...

Entry qualification to be police used to be PMR but have been raised to SPM. Not sure whether Maths is required But we know that while more students get distinction, standard has gone down. Remember those days when getting a credit like C3 or C4 (oops I mean credit 4 and not that mongolia onelah), is like a big achievement.

I think there guy wanted to follow the current trend one using the fingers when he spoke. He meant I count satu, dua, tiga but he just gotten mixed up and said tiga minit

Anonymous said...

Bro. Patrick !

Can't blame the men in blue because they are submitting to their political masters ! Reminds me of dogs ! They are also loyal to their masters ! Are they "behaving like dogs " ? I don't know ? You tell me !

1Malaysia ! 2 Peraks ! 1Niamah !

sywong said...

I really wonder if these guys have any basic form of education,but well, with the quality of our examinations marking system, i am not surprised at all!! These are the dregs from the very bottom of the barrel, i suppose. Sheeeeeshhh!!!

Anonymous said...

Small man put into uniform becomes a beast.

Either they know or not that they are being screwed by their political masters. Not only them but their immediate families as well now and the future.


Anonymous said...




Anonymous said...

proven. buatan malaysia!

malaysia boleh!!!

Perak Boy said...

Hi Pat,

It doesn't matter whether it's 3 seconds or 3 minutes.

Pakatan Rakyat leaders shouldn't even be there becos' the Court had ruled & the Sultan of Perak had stated that BARISAN NASIONAL is indeed the rightful Government of Perak.

I can't stop laughing upon hearing NGA KOR MING, SIVAKUMAR & several Pakatan ADUN was bashed like a dog for yesterday's saga. They should have been killed instead for being STUBBORN NUISANCES.

MB Perak = ZAMBRY!!!!
Perak State Govt = BN !!!
Pakatan Rakyat = SORE LOSERS!!!

I think Pakatan ADUN have not woke up from their fantasy. They still think the SUN is the MOON & the MOON is the SUN.

Ooooiiii Pakatan ADUN!!! Bangunlah!!! Your time is OVER & you are FINISHED!!!


Anonymous said...

Then lawyer is a fucking moron. Must be hiding somewhere in the commotion not to be able to see whats going on...then again, wat do u expect of lawyers?

All in all, sudah habis saliva talking abt our police.

I salute the lady at the end, " we all should come out & face-to-face with them"

Tat would be the DAY

Lao' Cha said...

Yup, you can just smell the acrid odour of pride oozing from his corrupt infested pores the moment he shouted 'tangkap'. 'Mofo'urously hilarious indeed.

Anonymous said...

I like the lady. She speaks out loud and clear for her own state. Well done!

Anonymous said...




lepas tu










Anonymous said...

The slogan for bn now should be 1..2..3..tangkap. Our traditional hide and seek Acilok should change accordingly to 1,5,10,15,20 tangkap!

Anonymous said...

I was at a newspaper vendor stall this morning and i overheard:
"Perak lagi ke?"
"Perak headline di semua paper"
"polis merampas songkok, baju,.."
"macam macam ada sekarang.."
"polis bukan rakyat punya lagi ...'
"ya, polis untuk satu parti ja.."

Anonymous said...

Now they get indian polis head la, very clever...
U want to get kaypo also not allowed, otherwise it's 1.2.3 tangkap !

Anonymous said...

The lady is correct, correct, correct - let's be face to face!
Ya, bn, be a Man and contest openly and win like a champion. The bn presence in perak macam service not required la, back off!

Anonymous said...

3 minutes? Not even 4 seconds!

Now I'm beginning to fear the police more than the thugs.

Anonymous said...

sepatutnye, 1,2,3 tembak! abes cerita hahaha to hell Fuckatan Riot!

Anwar Al-Juburi

1BlueMansion said...

i counted @ Spore cinema watching Blue Mansion starring 1&only Patrick (as family head):

1 Topless scene
2 Babes (Emma & guess who ?)
3 Dudes (they r extras, sorry Pat)

Samuel Goh Kim Eng said...


When there's the policy to 'catch'
Then there's no time to 'match'
Even though there's nothing to 'latch'
Yet some will still indulge in a bad 'patch'

(C) Samuel Goh Kim Eng - 291009
Thur. 29th Oct. 2009.

OneToTree said...

The police officer is kepala otak.He should count like that",then the people will disperse.

Anonymous said...

sorry lah. KPI met. what 1,2,3.

1Malaysia lah


Anonymous said...

When the policeman tell his partner dia boleh tahan 3 minutes, he actually meant only 3 seconds. No wonder his tummy is so big. Fight on Perak!!!

Anonymous said...

1...2...3...quickly hide

1...2...3...where are you... i can't find you

1...2...3...there I found it I found it TAN...KAP.....TANKAP Can you imagine treating our elected representative like a kindergarden boys. 1 Idiot Mentality. Finish lah this episode. We look forward to another box office production. Hope no more 1...2...3 tangkap.

Anonymous said...

This coming school holidays I m NOT bringing the kids to Ipoh for the famous ipoh coffee bcos i worry suddenly my whole family kena tangkap!tangkap! while enjoying our ipoh food at the hawker stalls.Also ipoh Mps shd fight for a bigger budget to build a new prison to cater for all thse tangkap!tangkap!

Ho ho ho said...

Bettr still, do it the auction way

Going once, going twice, sold (tangkap)

Tpg2Sg said...


I was a prefect back in secondary school.

That was many years ago.

My machas and I used to catch and reprimand misbehaving students for various offences.

Now, it all seems like petty issues right now but back then some students will not hesitate to resort to violence when confronted.

No matter how one tries, there are bound to be some people whom you cannot reason with.

There was this guy, let’s just name him Ali.

Ali was the worst of the lot back then.

He smoked, and more than cigarettes.

He played truant, and God only knows where he goes when he skipped school.

He fought, mostly in gangs and against gangs of other races.

He was secondary school student by day and Mat Rempit by night.

He was held for thefts multiple times – from pens and pencils to bicycles and motorbikes.

He threatened harm and violence – against both fellow students and teachers alike.

Ali was incorrigible, to say the least.

Ali completed secondary school anyhow.

I was back in my hometown recently,

I was stopped for illegal u-turning.

Guess who the cop was.


And that is why Malaysia is so screwed.

wils0nlai said...

lol no wonder PDRM always say they give those protectors ample time to disperse and they end up arresting them. 3 minit = 3 seconds. sila tangkap! tangkap semua!

Haji Os said...

How can the kodok Baderul Hisham be an independent while proclaiming to be 'BN-friendly'?

There must be incentives/perks from BN for him to do so. APs maybe.

What a Niamah guy.

Sunny said...

Impressed....he got 123 in the right order.

Anonymous said...

This kind of "dog" where got qualification , so call MACC official only have SPM , you think they have brain kah ? all of them cannot get a job in the market so just joint this "cari makan" think lah.

Anonymous said...

How come this officer so fat also can join polis meh.

1Citizen said...

Now 1Malaysia slogan.1st we have"Correct,correct,correct",now"1,2,3 Tangkap,tangkap,tangkap".Next?

Skinny said...

This officer so fat is bcos he eats and sleep only.He works only when call upon by his master.

Anonymous said...

This is all due to the following:
1] Dismal Policemen pay - so cannot afford a watch.

2] Poor Education - cannot tell the difference btwn seconds and minutes.

3] Poor Police Recruitment Policies, which also due to [1].

So what you get in the police force are below average Malaysian joining the force.

1niapah! said...

A+ (18 point) in SPM is now a must to join 123 polis

for gerak khas, A++

baik punya cilok !

ktteokt said...

Send these idiots back to kindergarten! They belong there!

Anonymous said...

We have an increasing proportion of unemployed graduates. This group has risen from 15.2 per cent in 2000 to 25.1 per cent in 2007. This means that there is a skills mismatch. It means our universities are churning out graduates with skills that are not needed in our modern industries. Every 10 years, with modern technology, new jobs requiring new skills are created. Our universities are still following old syllabuses teaching old skills. Unless our universities change the mismatch in skills, this will hamper our competitiveness.

Unemployed graduates*

In 2004, there were 4,594 unemployed graduates of whom 163 were Chinese, 207 were Indians and 4,060 were Malays;

In 2005, there were 2,413 unemployed graduates of whom 31 were Chinese, 70 were Indians and 2,186 were Malays;

In 2006, there were 56,750 unemployed graduates of whom 1,110 were Chinese, 1,346 were Indians and 50,594 were Malays.

In 2007, there were 56,322 unemployed graduates of whom 1,348 were Chinese, 1,401 were Indians and 49,075 were Malays.

In 2008 (as of June) there were 47,910 unemployed graduates of whom 1,403 Chinese, 1,569 Indians and 49,075 were Malays.

Samuel Goh Kim Eng said...


When you have a circus as a town
You can expect a field day for clowns
With their laughters and sorrows to drown
But don't overdo all that to cause others to frown

(C) Samuel Goh Kim Eng - 301009
Fri. 30th Oct. 2009.

Altantuya said...

Pakatan screwed themselves-lah.

But the police do provide the usual dose of entertainment. Their greymatter-less-ness knows no limits. Must have learned them from the IGP - the most intelligent man on earth!

Anderson Rd said...

Just when I thought politics in Malaysia is going stale!

solidleong said...

I am also from Perak and I am ashamed of all these negative news. It's very disheartening but what can we, ordinary folks do except wait for next GE. Even white haired and son Pte Ltd couldn't cared less because Mr. Pink Lips is at the driver's seat.

Astro Boy said...

Tun Mahathir said in his blog:
"Lately I had been disturbed by media reports that Proton is to be sold to certain parties. This talk has agitated the staff of Proton. They know of cases where after a new investor took over a company, senior staff had been laid off. Their worry over this matter affects their performance."

Proton should have been sold long ago!

Ahmad Syafiq said...

To Anonymous 8.50pm, you just revealed yourself as an idiot. "Fuckatan riot" Try and say that to all Malaysian people and see how many of them support Pakatan Rakyat. You will be in for a shock. And commenting under anonymous pseudonym is a sign of cowardness.

To Perak Boy, does the end justify the means? Adakah matlamat menghalalkan cara? Tepuk dada, tanya selera. Saya rasa Biro Tata Negara dah brainwash awak kao kao.

Anonymous said...

Ahmad Syafiq 1.49pm..

U are stupid as you look, Anwar Al-Juburi is my pseudonym boy..Are you sure all Malaysian support Fuckatan Riot? hahahahaha think again! Don't talk politics with me boy, you're just 20th years old, ubun2 lembik lagi..U never vote in the GE even once, talk about politics..LOL

Concentrate on your studies boy, don't let this politicians poisoned your weak mind..

Anwar Al-Juburi

Anonymous said...


"Oh my goodness! This is f**king hilarious!"

Now, it would sure be f>>>king hilarious if they are not getting my tax money to maintain and feed them or are around to harass and intimidate good citizens of this country.

Otherwise I would just look at them with sympathy and forgiveness just like those psychiatric cases who wonders aimlessly around town.

Mat Gladwell said...

Why the mess in Malaysian politics?

I blame it to the education system since Dr M decided to use BM as the medium of instruction. This is the tipping point.

Without ability to understand anything other than BN's media and propaganda in BM, the rakyat could not think.

From then we have produce generations of 'yang ikut perintah', until the last election.

PakcikLAH said...

"famous director Datuk Yusof Haslam has directed his ttalented yet ambitios son Shamsul to prepare scripts for GERAKAN Khas (aka follow up to Gerak Khas The movie), after being inspired by this policeman. Rumored that A Galak role's will be taken over by Koh Soo Khoon."

Pat, kindly confirm the grapevine.

Anonymous said...

i am f**king glad that this morron work as police, not a teacher, else, imagine what kind of student will the school produce...
1, 2, 3, kelas tamat, jumpa esok!

tlyung said...

At least they can count to three...

"Satu, dua, tiga, ..."

(sudah lupa ni : ...)

amoker said...

Wow, they are like good dogs. I wonder why the non Malay police are used to do this leg work ?

Jestmelah said...

Dear Anwar Al-Juburi, I think it is unfair to censure anyone because of age. You may not agree with Ahmag Shafiq but isn't it heartening that he doesn't spend time doing his lepak routine in Pertama complex?

He thinks, ok.

As to who the righteous & the cheats really were in Perak, God knows. My prayer is that He will remove those who are greedy, liars, hypocrites and corrupted so that those who really serve the rakyat will be exalted. I don't care if they are from BN, PR or are independents.

Anonymous said...

Hey perak boy. You dare call urself a perak boy. Niamah lu. Memalukan orang perak. I dare u to shout ur support for BN in front of the crowded morning wet market and see what reaction u get from the pakciks and the makciks. U think this is funny like some kinda sport? U think this is a game? I bet ur mom is a ku klux clan and ur dad is hitler.

Anonymous said...

BN takde telur. bukan anak jantan! dasar pengecut. baik sembunyi bawah ketiak mak kau. Kalau berani bubarkan DUN! Yang anti-PR government tu ape hal? BN bagi ko projek/kontrek berapa juta? Dasar mata duitan! ni...ha...ambiklah lah duit RM2 ni...main jauh-jauh.

wong said...

police garang ! all these brooks are robbers...and thieves...not just in perak fiasco..daily life..any public can tell u....worse are those traffic police..instead of managing the jams..they be hiding some places cari makan...wish some one like charles broson shoot them ...maybe c4 .

or make them eat 500 satays in 1 hour.

Anonymous said...

This is the real police in action.

Those in Gerak Khas are tipu punya.

Anonymous said...

We should love our police force.

Remember how the Dr Sun Yat Sen overthrown the Manchu Dynasty.

There is one General Yuan Shi Kai to deal with ie equivalent to our present day IGP Musa.

I believe to take over the government by political means is an illusion.

We (PR) need to negotiate with PDRM that there will be no vendetta against them maybe make offer to IGP Musa that we can promote him to Home Minister in the next government.

According to the ART OF WAR - if you cannnot beat them make sure they are on our side.

THe PDRM will defend BN by all means if they think they will be in the Gulag if the next government is PR ( Illusion saja )

Love them and win them over.

Anonymous said...

Man, that's what I called corruption..

Thambi said...

Polis sekarang cukup terror suka hat tembak orang!

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