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Friday, November 27, 2009

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Food For Thought

The religious believe that God belongs to them. Christians (Muslims and Jews) know that they belong to God

.......Sheila Samples, Oklahoma writer.

Kurt, Coreen, Laura, Virginia, Carol, Dianna, Rey, Lyle
and all the peoples of the
United States of America...


Wednesday, November 25, 2009

You think you very smart ah? Wait you see la!

Wait for it.......3-2-1...okay you can go. See you tomorrow ya?

Do you remember a few years ago the Police flers (don't remember who la but some high ranking pegawai) stamped his feet and threw a tantrum when the public complained about traffic police inefficiency in KL? The chap practically threatened the citizens of Kuala Lumpur saying that since they complained so much all traffic cops would be removed from street duty. Ha! Then see how you like it la. The scary thing is that the police actually carried out their threat and caused near total traffic chaos in the city for days. It was the Polis Diraja Malaysia's way of saying to all the Rakyat, "Ha! Padan muka!" (serves you right! Complain about us somemore la.)

Only in Malaysia can a civil force like the Police tell the people whose duty it is to serve and protect, "Go fuck yourself!"

More recently, the courts ruled that the MACC (Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission) witnesses could only be questioned from 8.30am to 5.30pm each day. This prompted a reaction that we ordinary Malaysians are no longer surprised at hearing. Read this......

The MACC's Director of investigations Mohd Shukri Abdull said he issued a directive on Monday, calling on all investigators interviewing witnesses to ensure they started and stopped their interviews during office hours only — which is from 8.30am to 5.30pm.

“We urge people who want to lodge reports with us or who want to give us their statements to come to the MACC office in the early morning or afternoon to avoid any inconvenience."

Okay, I have no problems with that part of the statement. It's what the court ruled. But then the baarger continues in a rather thinly-veiled finger-up-your-ass way by saying to all of us......

........... that if a person lodged a report on a Friday evening, his statement could only be recorded on Monday, the next working day.

“It is not that we do not want to entertain the public at their convenience but we have to adhere to the court ruling that forbids us from interviewing witness after office hours’’

Doesn't that sound rather like, "Ha! You want to play issit? Come la. Padan muka!"

And then, of course the PDRM (remember them?) jumps right into the game again.

The old DAP fler, Karpal Singh said that the police should not interrogate/question witnesses after office hours (?).

And so the Inspector-General shoots back saying that that would be tantamount to asking police stations to close at 5pm.
Really ah?

And just to make sure that there is not any doubt that our IGP is a very farneeeee kind of guy he added, “If that is the case, then those who want to lodge police reports after office hours can see Karpal.”

Doesn't that sound rather like, "Ha! You want to play issit? Come la. Padan muka!"

Actually, it sounds more like MACC and PDRM saying to the Rakyat,

"Well, FUCK you!"


Sunday, November 22, 2009

Some light-hearted Sunday funnies

No need to worry la. We all won't be speaking any English in a few years from now.

Actually, the Deputy Minister of Education (see post below) has absolutely nothing to worry about. Malaysian students and Malaysian youth have not spoken English in decades. That is going from what they are being taught in Malaysian schools and colleges. I heard from a reliable source today some 'sample' questions that were part of an English language exam paper for a certain Malaysian university. Don't laugh too hard okay?

Objective test.

Question: What does it mean when a person has a 'sixth sense'?

Required answer: The person has the ability to see ghosts.

Question: Which country welcomes its visitors with a garland or "lei"?

Required answer: Hawaii. (but Hawaii isn't a country!)

Question: If you cut open an apple and find the centre resembling the word for God (original word in the test substituted to protect sensitivities and to avoid legal battles about who can use the name) what is that?

Required answer: A blessing in disguise.

There were more examples but by that time I was laughing so hard I couldn't hold on to the phone. Hope you had an enjoyable and productive Sunday. Smile.


Saturday, November 21, 2009 you know where we can find ah?

Our Royal Malaysian Police or Polis DiRaja Malaysia are damn good right? Yes what.

They captured that Mas Selamat fler. Damn fierce terrorist that one you know. And he even eluded those super-efficient Singaporean baargers.

They shot dead all those criminals in recent weeks. Crippled this gang and that gang. Okay, right?

I have one question though.

If they are so good how come they cannot find RPK?

How come they do not know the whereabouts of that private investigator Bala fler even after Bala claimed that he has been in and out of the country several times since the police started looking for him? Not only cannot find. The Inspector-General himself had to publicly request if anyone had any information or knew where the 2 chaps are.

Wonder who gave them the location of Mas Selamat last time? Sure as hell would not have found him on their own, right?


Thursday, November 19, 2009

Fantastic Facts And Fancies

First, it was a bunch of clowns from Umno marching around carrying banners that screamed "Puki mak" or some shit like that.

Yesterday while surfing the Net I came across this photo of Port Klang Assemblyman Badrul Hisham Abdullah who had quit PKR, saying that he had lost faith in the party's leadership. This after his "boss" MB Khalid Ibrahim recommended to the PKR supreme council that Badrul Hisham resign from his seat for non-performance. And so this PKR fler leaves but not before he signed off with this pose for the cameras......

Did he leave in 'peace' but got directions reversed or was he saying to his boss,

"Fuck you too!"?


Fantastic Facts And Fancies

The banner belongs to TM one of if the biggest Malaysia companies

Just yesterday I posted about the deputy minister of education, Puad claiming that it was 'weird' for Malaysians to speak English because it was harmful to the nation's culture and identity. Today, I drove past this building in downtown Kuala Lumpur which displayed on its side a huge banner that proclaimed.................


Culture and identity my ass!

Somebody sure didn't clear that copy with that Yang Berhormat Timbalan Menteri Pendidikan moron!


Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Fantastic Facts And Fancies

We are always right. We are the police.

The second award for the most moronic statement of the day goes to the Inspector-General of Police, Musa Hassan who said...

"......those who questioned police action in shooting suspects
should consider whether they wanted to support those who upheld the
law or the criminals."

In other words what the police do is always right. So shut the fuck up already!


Fantastic Facts And Fancies

"We are polluting our own culture and identity as a nation"
Sorry, YB we accomplished that a long time ago already.

The award for most Shockingly moronic statement of the day goes to our Deputy Minister of Education Mohd Puad Zarkashi who said .......

Speaking English in the workplace is "weird" and harmful to the nation's culture and identity.

Malaysiakini wrote that the NST report also said, "......
employees in the private sector used English 99 percent of the time and should switch to Bahasa Malaysia in order to show pride in the national language."

As though that wasn't enough he further stated that "................This also occurs in government-linked companies where we have this weird culture of people speaking to each other in English instead of the national language. We are polluting our own culture and identity as a nation"....and that "It would be difficult to strengthen the position of Bahasa Malaysia if this culture continued."

After 52 years of independence why we still so scared and insecure about ourselves and what and who we are?


This just sounds so wrong. And funny osso!

No, no. We won't be volunteering for the tests. It's for the Rakyat.

Did you all see the headline story on page 2 of The Star yesterday? I only read it this morning before the maid tore it up to wrap the morning's marketing. The headline read ......

"Eyeing M'sia for trials"

And what were they talking about? Apparently, pharmaceutical giants are viewing Malaysia as an ideal location to carry out diagnostic and clinical trials for the global market! Don't you find that chilling news? I shuddered when I read that. Before I broke into hysterical laughter. I mean whoever edited that story must have a terrific sense of humour or was taking the piss out of the whole thing. Just read the story yourself. Everything is so wrong...

Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak said priority could be given to such value-added trials as Malaysia’s multi-ethnic composition represented a big portion of the global population.

“This also augurs well for Malaysia that aspires to be a successful global biotechnology hub,” he said, adding that the country had the competitive edge as it had the necessary resources.
The Prime Minister also said a powerhouse research centre would be established in Malaysia to promote research and development.

Najib said Malaysia has attracted 135 Bio Nexus companies with a total investment of RM1.51bil.

“These companies had recorded revenues in the excess of RM700mil,’’ he said, adding that they had also created more than 2,260 knowledged workers. (It's always about money, isn't it? - PT)

Bio nexus programme is a key element of the National Biotechnology Policy. (Did you know we had such a policy? - PT)

University of Aberdeen Institute of Medical Science lecturer Professor Anne Glover said Malaysia could serve as a one-stop centre for clinical trials due to its multi-ethnic population. (Yes our guinea-pigs are much more versatile than yours. - PT)
Alexandre F. Jetzer-Chung of Novartis International AG said Malaysia had a bigger potential as it had impressive information technology and medical facilities.

Oh thank you, Mr. Jetzer-Chung. I was beginning to think that you were only interested in us cos we have so many specimens for you to test with. Phew!

Oh by the way, aren't guinea pigs HARAM? Pigs ma.


Monday, November 16, 2009

We are very fair one!

I was re-reading the last post I wrote here, "Only in Malaysia." Suddenly, I realised that we are actually living in a country where everything is fair and square. You don't think so? Really one la. Just think about it as you look at the photo of our Deputy Prime Minister riding pillion on a motorcycle without wearing a safety helmet. There's the proof. It's fair.




Friday, November 13, 2009

Only in Malaysia!!!

I am sure that most of you have seen this already. But just in case some of you Niamah!!! visitors missed it I thought I should post it here.

Only in Malaysia will you find a major newspaper printing on its front page a headline story with the Prime Minister warning Indonesian workers not to break Malaysian laws.

"We welcome you but don't flout the law......." - Najib Razak, Prime Minister.

And then on the same page publish a full colour photo of the Deputy Prime Minister, Muhyiddin Yassin and other Malaysians happily breaking the law by not wearing helmets while riding motorcycles!!!

"Deputy Prime Minister Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin hitching a ride as he tours flood-hit areas..."says the caption.
Helmet ah? No need la.

(the photo did however show a few law-abiding Malaysians in the entourage)

Only in 1Malaysia!


Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Something good II

Well, if we thought that the Indonesians were on the right track, we are perhaps starting to walk the talk too.

Islamic groups ejected from Allah suit

That was the headline in The MalaysianInsider today. Read the full report here.


Errrr......and then again maybe not. Read this today.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Something good

Mosque and LOUDspeakers

Some days good things come along in rather unexpected ways. I was bored and going through other people's Tweet messages and came across this link which brought a smile to my face and some hope in my heart. The link is The Jakarta Post. Read it for yourself and have a nice day...

The South Kalimantan’s chapter of Indonesian Ulema Council has proposed an edict that bans the use of loudspeakers if it is considered to be disturbing other people, even though they are used to broadcast the call to prayer five times a day or a sermon.

Council member Muhammad Noor, who is a lecturer at Antasari State Islamic Institute in the provincial capital of Banjarmasin, told Antara state news agency Monday that a group of ulema attending a discussion in Tabalong regency recently concluded that deafening loudspeakers, albeit for good purposes, could spark disagreement among Muslims and non-Muslims due to the noise and discomfort caused.

Noor said the ulema suggested that Muslims exercise their freedom of religion without sacrificing the rights of other people.

Participants of the discussion agreed that the use of loudspeakers was aimed at propagating Islam, but its excessive application might be counterproductive.

Can we even begin to imagine something like that happening in our country? And they send us their people to work as our maids? I feel ashamed.



Ha! This looks like a good place to put them la.

This is funny. Just a few days ago the Federal Territories minister announced plans to "re-locate" chicken and pork sellers in the Pudu market to an 'enclosed site'. Today, I read in The Star that the Malacca Chief Minister has plans to relocate Malaysia's thespians (the Star's choice of name and not mine) and musicians to an Artistes Village in Alor Gajah. CM, Ali Rustam announced that a 25.5 hectare site will be developed. 217 lots for homes, a 1.8ha open air stage, training and film studio and an auditorium. I don't know about you but I shuddered when I read about that.

Pork sellers in that enclosed site.
TV actors over there.
Film directors over here. No here la. Under the producers' reservation. Yes!
Stage actors next to the irrigation drain there where there is proper drainage and hygiene.

The Star article reports that so far 'thespians' who have showed interest in this reservation include Jins Shamsuddin and Aziz Satar. So maybe this proposed 'enclosed site' is only meant for putting old flers out to pasture.

One day maybe they will also have 'an enclosed site' for Barisan Nasional politicians past their use-by date.

Acting only ma. We do it all the time. Cannot ah?

I am copying this from The Malaysian Insider. This one paragraph is a death knell for Malaysian comedians hoping to make fun of the socio-political situation in this country. My bet is that the comedians have no chance in Hell of topping real life in Bolehland which is far funnier than anything any Malaysian comedian can dream up. Ready? At your own risk ya? You laugh til you die. Not my problem okay?

Minister in the Prime Minister’s Department Datuk Seri Nazri Aziz said “judiciary fixer” V.K. Lingam had been let off the hook “because he had broken no law”.

Nazri also suggested that Lingam breached no laws as he might “have just acted to fix the appointment of judges as if he was brokering the appointment of senior judges to impress people”.

“I am not denying that it was Lingam in the tape. But I am also saying that there are a lot of conmen in this world. Who knows he might have just acted when he was calling the so-called judges to impress,” said Nazri in his ministerial winding-up speech on the 2010 Budget debate.

Some people in the government are so disdainful of the Rakyat that they can throw this shit in our faces and not think anything of it. You still want to believe that Malaysia is soooo wonderful because the food is good here?


Friday, November 06, 2009

Fix it and make it better. Or worse.

The Pudu Market. The latest tool for protecting 'sensitivities'.

I read in the papers today that they are planning to renovate the 60-year old Pudu Market. The Pudu market is an iconic landmark (albeit a smelly one too). And it was good that the Federal Territory Ministry is planning to preserve the location and update the old market into the present day.

The Star's Metro reported that Federal Territories and Urban Wellbeing (I think they are fast running out of ideas of how to cut the cake for ravenous coalition gluttons. What kind of fucked-up portfolio is that?) Minister Datuk Raja Nong Chik Zainal Abidin said the makeover would include paving the roadside of the market site and relocating the chicken and pork sellers to a more hygienic and conducive environment.

Okay, paving the roadside. That is good.

Re-locating the chicken and pork sellers to a more hygienic and conducive environment.

Errr...okay ya that is a good thing too. After all hygiene is important so that the products won't be contaminated and make people ill or worse. But then I read the next bit where the minister says......

“We need to respect the sensitivity of the all traders operating there and the relocation of these traders to an enclosed site with better drainage and piping is a move requested and endorsed by the Pudu Market Association,” Nong Chik said.

You may be forgiven for thinking that I am making this into a racist thing. That is not my intention of course. But if the above is exactly what the minister said then I fear for the worse. That something such as the simple updating of a wet market that has served the people of Kuala Lumpur for 60 years is at risk of becoming a racial, divisive exercise. Another wedge in splitting Malaysians even further.

Read the statement again. "We need to respect the sensitivity of the all traders operating there..............." I must wonder which traders and what sensitivities he was referring to. "......the relocation of these traders to an enclosed site with better drainage and piping is a move requested and endorsed by the Pudu Market Association." An 'enclosed' site? For chicken and pork sellers. Very soon we may have 'enclosed' sites for beef butchers too since we constantly have to be 'sensitive' to this, that and the other.

All these announcements and actions by the government just serve to remind us that we are a divided nation and the notion of 1Malaysia is just a pipe dream or a politician's public relations gimmick.


Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Wah! Pals again wor

Waffor fight? We all fren-fren ma.
Eh? How come you wear black? Want to be different issit? Baarger!

When I saw this photo on the front page of The Star today I was like Huh??? Look at all the MCA flers in it. There's treasurer-general Tee Hock Seng, Chua Soi Lek, Ong Tee Keat, secretary-general Wong Foon Meng, vice-president Kong Cho Ha and central committee member Donald Lim Siang Chai posing.

I must admit that I was never following the MCA recent crises very closely but I do seem to remember that not too long ago some of the flers in the photo smiling and holding hands were at each other's throats! Weren't they calling each other names? Threatening each other's lives? Swearing never to be in the same room together? Then suddenly I read that everything is hunky dory again. Apparently, they're all doing it for the party and for the Chinese community in Malaysia wor. Now, as a Chinese Malaysian I find that a little hard on the imagination. You believe ah? One day fight like hell then the next day bury the hatchet. All for the sake of the people wor. Yes meh?

Oh yes, the other day I saw a herd of flying pigs also la. True one!


Monday, November 02, 2009

I'm gonna make your day

No First Or Second Class Citizens In Malaysia. Only 1st and Economy Class?

Yesterday I read about Muhyiddin Yassin, Deputy Prime Minister calling some Malays traitors.

He said, in the 52 years Umno had been leading the nation, the party had never forsaken the interest of the Malays but in fact had always and would continue to champion them. Muhyiddin added that what was also more worrying now was that there are some non-Malay quarters who were openly questioning Malay rights and privileges. "And what was even more disappointing," he said, "was that there was a small number of Malays who were acting as a thorn in the flesh". He urged the Malays to be firmly united against these traitors as they were obstacles to the progress of the Malays.

The DPM was criticised for making such blatantly racist remarks by the local media and pro-Opposition publications.

But our wise DPM also said that there are no first or second class citizens in Malaysia. He said Malaysia also did not have people who were marginalised or were purposely marginalised and in fact unity was the underlying theme of the 1Malaysia concept. Yes, I know. At first I thought he was talking about some other country but he did mention Malaysia wor.

Today, I read in the papers that our Prime Minister has come out and condemned 'certain leaders' for their racist remarks.

"Umno is not a racist party," he said. "Racist comments from “one or two Umno leaders” should be ignored because the majority of members in the party are not racists."

Najib reiterated that his mission as Prime Minister was to lead all Malaysians.

If this wasn't Bolehland, I'd be rejoicing in that statement. But since it is I am not sure I can believe it.

Oh well, it's only Monday. So I am sure there will be more 'surprises' as the week goes on.

Wait...wait...wait...I am not all that cruel la. To spoil your Monday like that so I'd like to draw your attention to something that will make you laugh. Might even be hysterical guffaws so please take care not to choke on your nasi lemak.......

Terengganu and the state government is coming up with innovative ways to improve sexual relations

Apparently, body odour, humdrum sex and boring pyjamas have been blamed for the high divorce rate in Terengganu. Authorities there are looking for ways to introduce exotic and sensuous fragrances among other things, that can arouse sexual desire.

Hiyah! Waffor want to be so difficult. Just stage a couple of Beyonce concerts in KT lor. Kao tim for sure one. You dinch know meh? Even those PAS Youth flers think that watching Beyonce perform will stir up the most inactive groins.

Welcome to the start of a 'normal' week in 1Malaysia.


Welcome to 1Malaysia

Just in case some of you missed this...

Have a good start to the week, folks!