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Saturday, December 12, 2009

Boss, got hammer ah?


There is something that tells me that this is going to be a good weekend. First, my family and I are in our new house away from landslide central. Second, I found that this place we've moved to has wi-fi right next to the pool! So I can actually surf, update, email. All while sipping an ice cold beer and enjoying the view of bikini.....errr.....okay let's keep our minds on this update. And third, I have some funnies to share with you.

I am sure that you know that my family and I were going through a house move last week. And if you've ever moved house before you will know what a traumatic experience it is. But there was one funny thing that happened last week. The team of 1 Indonesian and 1 Bangladeshi who delivered and fixed my daughter's wardrobe (one of those plywood jobs from one of those Expo Perabot places) asked me, "Eh! Boss ada hammer ka?" I laughed so hard I think I scared the Bangladeshi. You're from a furniture company. You're here to deliver and put together a wardrobe made of wood. And you don't have a hammer???!!!

Today's Star carries a couple of funnies which I thought I'd point out to you.

The first one is really quite hilarious. It's got Najib Razak, the PM talking through his.......errrr.......(okay la you add your own word here ya?)! The fler is telling bloggers to adopt a code of ethics which some US-based society has issued. Suddenly what those American flers say are soooo important issit? But remember ah. He's telling BLOGGERS to do this ya?

What are these rules?

Tell the truth! Be responsible! Be honest! Be fair when reporting and interpreting information! Never publish inaccurate information! Distinguish between advocacy, commentary and factual information! Admit mistakes and correct them promptly! Never plagiarise! Identify links and sources wherever possible! Do not pander to lurid curiousity! Disclose conflicts of interest, affiliations, activities and personal agendas! Abide by the same high standards to which they held others!


He's telling all that load of crock to BLOGGERS???!!! I feel like leaving him a less-than-polite message on his 1Malaysia blog. Hello, Mr. Prime Minister I think you should first make that speech to all the flers at the NST, Star, Utusan, RTM, TV3/7/8/9, Bernama and whatever else 'media' you and Umno and the cronies own. Come on la. Tell us to behave ourselves issit? How come you never say anything about this to your own flers? Or did you?

Hahahaha....you quite a funny fler la, Najib. Oh of course you're a politician. I almost forgot.

A couple of weeks ago our old pal, Nazri said that our taxi's were worse than our toilets. That was because tourists complain most about our taxi's. Even more than our dirty toilets which they just put down as due to our 3rd World mentality I suppose. And now our taxi drivers are proving once again that they are a force to be reckoned with. They want Nazri to apologise to them. The demand was made by Azmi Md Yatin, chairman of the Executive Taxi Owners Association of Malaysia. Wah! I didn't even know we had an association of executive taxi owners. And just what the fuck is an executive taxi??? And just read this quote which the Star attributed to this Azmi fler. “The statement by Nazri is extreme and we (taxi drivers) from the Klang Valley unequivocally agree that Nazri must apologise openly”. Really ah? I'd like to hear Azmi even pronounce UNEQUIVOCALLY.

Anyway, the taxi flers are submitting a memorandom about this to no less than the Prime Minister AND the Deputy Prime Minister! And they are demanding Nazri relinquish his portfolio overseeing the Commercial Vehicle Licensing Board (CVLB) and if Nazri doesn't do what they ask they say they would ask all taxi drivers from various taxi associations in the Klang Valley to meet the prime minister to resolve the matter.

Wah! This is Malaysian democracy at work man. You can question and demand anything one. Well, except maybe why someone paid RMthousands for outdated laptops computers. Where all the Petronas money went. How politicians can afford multi-million Ringgit mansions. Why properly elected representatives can be removed illegally. Why...well something better than nothing ma. Right?

NIAMAH!!!

50 comments:

Anonymous said...

Pat

How much duit kopi you paid to expedite the TM installation?

Anonymous said...

Pat

How much duit kopi did you pay to get your internet line up?

Anonymous said...

I do have a healthy respect for Minister Nazri . If only the other spineless Yes ! Yes ! cabinet colleagues of his would speak their minds like him. But then that would put theit vested positions in peril, wouldn't it ?

Taxi drivers are just taxi drivers - some good ones exist, rare though.

An Executive taxi driver is a normal taxi driver who aspire to higher position in society by indulging in petty politickings. Why ? He has no passengers and plenty of free time !

Uranus

MyMaluyu said...

The UMNO-controlled media are the ones that required ethical control.

Our PM is a politicain after all.

Rakyat didahulukan?

Tupai said...

Smart move Patrick away from Bkt Antarabangsa before the value drop further now that more report will be out.

Somehow said in internet that Yamashita gold is hidden somewhere near Bkt antarabangsa landslide area, thus BN invoked OSA to safeguard the gold to enrich its coffer.

Kuli said...

Petronas founder and former Finance Minister Tengku Razaleigh Hamzah said today that Malaysia had squandered its oil wealth and had become an “oil cursed” country dependent on it like a narcotic for quick fixes.

In his most scathing remarks yet about the management of the country's oil reserves and the economy, Tengku Razaleigh said oil money had been used as "a giant slush fund that has propped up authoritarian rule, eroded constitutional democracy and corrupted our entire political and business elite."

Anonymous said...

Oh this is 1 Malaysia, but 2 sets of rules. Remember at one time the name Altatunya cannot be even mentioned. Wonder how he faces other countries leaders when he know dame well what people knows about him. Ah, maybe he thinks other people also "mudah lupa". Our leaders never cease to amaze me, did you read about DPM asking us to help/invest in Japanese companies.

wandererAUS said...

There is a beautiful song called, "The colors of the wind" In Bolehland we have, "The colors of the skin"
If you were born lucky enough to have the privileged skin...your demands, even impossible to meet will become possible.
If you are less fortunate...whatever small demands you ask, you can wait till thy kingdom come...NIAMAH!

Anonymous said...

Patrick,only Malaysia can mah & Malaysia boleh!Have a great week-end and please use optrex to cool and clean your tired eyes every night!

Alan said...

Read Barry Wain book on how Tun.Dr.Mahathir squandered US$100
Billion during his 22 yrs tenure;another of his failed project is Proton
which discourages Malaysians to buy foreign imported cars by introducing
heavy duties and the stupid AP which benefits only a handful of well connected
malays.Well,the cursed oil income from Petronas used for quick fixes of malaysia
economy and bailing out cronies is drying up fast,PM Najib do something about
it as monthly salary of RM1 Billion need to be paid to the bloated civil servants.
No wonder annual credit card charges of RM50 and PGT 5% implemented,to be
followed 4% GST..wake up Malaysians.

Chan said...

1,2,3 ... all ready for some picture stomping ... again ... this time of the Chief Taxi Driver!! Heh! Heh!

Anonymous said...

what is executive taxi? go to Sungei Wang taxi stand, there are more taxi parking there than any passenger, you want to take taxi you need to speak to the executive driver hanging around the taxi stand smoking.... and the executive driver will tell you the price, you either except or fuck off...this is executive taxi service, the driver is the executive...and all their taxi meters not working...even tourist are scare!!

Anonymous said...

Patrick,
You are unequivocally the most biased shit head around. You look down on Encik Nazri just because he is a taxi driver? Don't be so condescending-lah. You think only you the speaking the good English only-ah? Encik Nazri may surprise you yet, you fallacious fag!

patrickteoh said...

Dear Anonymous 8:35 PM, before you start calling me names I suggest you get your eyesight checked or get lessons in reading English. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Hello Mr. English righteous faggot.

Please, do learn how to write in proper grammar.

Anonymous said...

anon 8.35 pm, u chat chat talk talk
wat ah ? aku not understanding la !
pls cakap cakap in malay lagi betterer la !!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 8.35pm: wtf are you talking about?

anyway, i read nazri's reply to the taxi drivers (basically telling them to stfu and improve) and i loved it.

nazri isn't entirely useless aye?

-yo-

Diveman69 said...

Hello Uncle, welcome back, nice to know that you've moved to a more secure and safe location both for yourself and your family. The added 'view' at the pool must be more interesting than the greenery in Bukit Antarabangsa hehehhe. Anyway, what do you expect from our local or so called local workforce. Furniture assemblers don't even have a hammer!!!! What a farce!!!
As for the 'advice' to bloggers, I believe one of your commenters have mentioned and you yourself have stated our mainstream media should first heed the advice of the PM before trying to 'regulate' bloggers. Be more responsible konon, haiya if you must know I only watch the 8pm news just for a laugh every night. I've long given up on the newspapers nothing but nonsense and lies.
Pot calling the kettle black is all I can say!!!!! NIAMAH!!!

Anonymous said...

Patrick,
I apologise if you have taken offence to my posting. I should not have been calling you names. It is despicable and ignominious.
Although it is what is to be expected from an ignoramus like me, nevertheless it is unbecoming and it will not happen again. However, having said that, I still think that your perception of taxi drivers is flawed. Don't generalise and although I am an ethnically Chinese Malaysian, I have to come to Encik Azmi's defence. Did I say Nazri? You're right, I do need my eyes checked!

Anonymous said...

What the f@#% is 'Anonymous 8:35 PM' talking about?

The biased shit is found in Utusan, Berita Harian, NST, TV3, Astro Awani and on the ass of Awang Selamat.

Melodi Rosak said...

Patrick

I am now watching MELODI on TV3.

On the segment of anugerah Skrin, how come you are not involved or featured?

Speaking of MELODI, I think the show should be renamed KECOH, because it reflect the state of the malay entertainment industry that has nothing positive but all kinds of negative elements (divorce, law suit, infidelity, dispute, bankrupsy, tragedy ...) as the show tends to 'terjah'.

Prof Khoo KK will definitely like this show, because Michelle Wee used 'high class' BM words like 'Aprisiasi' for 'Appreciation'. Isn't this 'copycat'?

nstman said...

Najib wants us to tell the truth. Well, the truth is Umno loots the country to enrich its cronies. That's the truth. Taxi drivers? The truth is they cheat, swindle right under the nose of the authorities. Just hail a a taxi at the KLIA, and you know what I mean. The truth is the executive taxi drivers, god knows who they are, should be detained without trial for threatening the livelihood of sincere cabbies. Well, Najib, that's the truth. Tiuniamah.

patrickteoh said...

Hi Melodi Rosak. Why would I be featured in anigerah Skrin? I haven't done anything in Malay movies for years now. The last time I watched Melodi was years ago when it was hosted by a rookie, Fauziah Ahmad Daud.

Hey Anonymous 12:16 PM thank you for your comment. I am impressed by your English. No I mean that sincerely. Grammar and vacabulary were never my forte in school. I daresay that I would fail miserably if I sat for an English paper even by today's standards. But it is nice to read someone who can use the language effectively.But back to the post. I was not attacking taxi drivers as a group of working people. Just the reactions of the Executive Taxi etc. flers. I thought I made that quite clear in the post but perhaps some readers misunderstood me.
Thanks Diveman. Yeah I know it is damn funny la. Right up there with the air-con service guys who ask me for a ladder and the aquarium service guys who ask for buckets and cloth.

WHAT IS AN ENGLISH RIGHTEOUS FAGGOT?

Graduan UPSR said...

The standard of English in Malaysia is so good that even I am not able to understand words like 'condescending' and 'ignominious' (as used by Anon 12:16 PM) which I cannot find in my pocket dictionary.

We must give credit to the Minsitry of Education.

Anonymous said...

you're lucky they only asked for a hammer. i was expecting them to tell you to assemble the thing yourself but insist of getting paid for the work not done. malaysia boleh.

Anonymous said...

Patrick,

Welcome back.

As for 1Najib, he is so fast to give advice to bloggers but ignoring the fact that his government controlled media is doing exactly the opposite of what he is preaching. Well, we have all come to expect this from Pinky Lips. My conclusion is whatever he says, he does the exact opposite. So much for his 1Malaysia rhetoric, which he really means as 1UMNO.

Anonymous said...

Dear Pat,

That Mr. English righteous faggot was not meant for you. It was meant for the guy above you.

"Patrick,
You are unequivocally the most biased shit head around. You look down on Encik Nazri just because he is a taxi driver? Don't be so condescending-lah. You think only you the speaking the good English only-ah? Encik Nazri may surprise you yet, you fallacious fag!"

There you go. Have a nice day

Anonymous said...

I think there are too many universities in Malaysia. The supply of graduates exceeds demand.
Or issit because the quality is not up to mark?

Check page 56-57 of today's New Sunday Times (Dec 13), a listing of 599 names of MARA students (or graduates) who have yet to pay up the student loan.

What's happening?

------------------------------

In 2004, there were 4,594 unemployed graduates of whom 163 were Chinese, 207 were Indians and 4,060 were Malays;

In 2005, there were 2,413 unemployed graduates of whom 31 were Chinese, 70 were Indians and 2,186 were Malays;

In 2006, there were 56,750 unemployed graduates of whom 1,110 were Chinese, 1,346 were Indians and 50,594 were Malays.

In 2007, there were 56,322 unemployed graduates of whom 1,348 were Chinese, 1,401 were Indians and 49,075 were Malays.

In 2008 (as of June) there were 47,910 unemployed graduates of whom 1,403 Chinese, 4,694 Indians and 41,813 were Malays.

Anonymous said...

it's akong's money. need to pay one arhh?

Anonymous said...

Did nobody stop to ask why the “superior” race is also supposedly economically crippled? Does nobody want to know how it is, with every effort made to provide them with crutches from womb to tomb, that Malays have made no headway in usurping the dirty foreigners as the economic masters of the country?

As an extension of the “poor Malay” spiel, they’re also told that they are gullible. They are told that they are being cheated of their birthright — their country raped, its riches plundered (true, but not by who they’re told are doing it) — while they are exploited in their lives, and taken for a jolly good ride. Yet in the next breath, they are reminded of their superiority.

How do you consolidate being told that you are superior, for pretty much no reason other than you were born such, while also being told that you are lazy, gullible, and poor?

BabesOfNiamah said...

Patrick
Any celebrity Babes near your pool ?
Since u have babes connection, why not invite Andrea Forsenka, Celest Chong, Hannah Tan etc to be by the pool. I am sure they can add value to your apartment property. A bit of publicity loh!
So don't forget to post those tasty photos for your ardent readers, ok ?

Anonymous said...

Dear Annymous 9:16
Based on the figures posted,the Malays should be very happy as they made up more than 90% of the figure. Much more than the 30% compulsory allocation under the NEP quota.This is also Ketuanan Melayu.

Anonymous said...

Hi Patrick,

You need to careful that you don't get arrested for voyeurism and drinking beer by the poolside by a bunch of JAIS guys staying at the same condo (or pretending to be residents).

These self proclaimed immoral guardians of our 1Malaysia society have to live up to their high immoral double standards. With these guys around your condo, you and your family will be very safe.

Good luck.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 2:16pm mentioned "asking us to help/invest in Japanese companies."

Why is it that the Japanese are forgiven by our mudah-lupa politicians, and being placed on a pedestal to 'look East' but sadly, the old, toothless + powerless CPM leader Chin Peng is barred fr Malaysian soil?
Are the cruelties during the Japanese occupation lesser than that of the communists????

Regards,
Kitty

Anonymous said...

Mahathir has conveniently forgotten that it was because of this racist policy that prevented good non-Malay students from entering state-run universities/institutions so more private institutions were forced to be set up to cater for the growing demand for places of learning in higher institutions and at great expense to the non-Malay students.

The demand for places in private institutions has grown so much and enrolment has multiplied, this old cunning fox now uses this as the basis for the 'apartheid' policy which has been in place for decades!

Rationalise it in whichever way you like, it is official discrimination, racist, apartheid-like because it deprives other citizens (based on their ethnic origin) of equal opportunities to enjoy education at state-run institutions of higher learning financed by the taxpayers' money.

Not all non-Malay parents can afford to send their children to private universities. Many are forced to work harder to earn the money to provide higher education for their children. This has been their unenviable lot especially from the time Mahathir took over as PM. It's easy for him to talk; he does not know first-hand the plight of non-Malay parents.

Anonymous said...

Petrol money, overpriced laptops. Now they say want want to take away the sugar subsidy and will save millions of RM in the process not to mention get rid of our spare tyres. Where will that millions saved go to?

Anonymous said...

Im one of those fr the non-Malay groups who cant afford to go to private varsities or even to NUS even though I was eligible (there was no study loan at that time & even if there was, it wasnt easily available).. Giving up my dreams, NO thanks to the stupid quota system, where my 'bumiputera' classmates who fared worse than me in the STPM exam secured places in the local unis or MARA, but I had to go out to work instead. I have never forgiven the stupid quota system for that (i.e. the stupid government!!!)

Nw, it seems that the race divide is even greater! When in the 70s and early 80s, all Malaysians practised tolerance, now they think they are 'above' us, no thanks to the Ketuanan mentaliti that has been planted into their heads since young, by their parents, politicians, textbooks, teachers, media, etc.

And wht i hate most is they abuse the dogs, throwing stones at them, taunting them, etc. because they think dogs are 'haram'. The Quran clearly didnt say this! I have a few Malay frens (bless them!) who love dogs and are kind towards them, but how many are still ignorant and teach their kids to be ignorant?
Whenever i bring my dog for walks, some neighborhood kids of that particular race wld point and say, Anjing, anjing!
and start to bark! Blardy hell...Makes me wonder... who is the anjing now, barking the whole neighborhood down??
Niamah smelly crab!!!
Havent seen an anjing before, bozos?

to those ignorant fools of the so-called "superior race",
(ive only heard of superior shark fin soup b4... superior race??? edible boh?)
PLEASE STOP ABUSING DOGS / ANIMALS just because you assume that they are 'haram'! All creatures are God's creation. Why would God create them if they were HARAM?
So that u can abuse them?
use your brains la, if you have any!!!
NIAMAH flower crab!


Regards,
Kitty

Anonymous said...

Worry not about JAIS so long as you do not mess with the Minahs.

Bob the builder said...

Hello kitty
(I don't mean the japanese cat)

Next time those flers made fun of your dog, just the go the leash and let your dog go after them.

Anonymous said...

how to potong with a hammer?

Anonymous said...

Bob the Builder,
Thanks for the suggestion, but I've tried marching up to the kids' doorstep to 'bark' at the parents, who tried to push the blame on my dog for saying my dog was barking at them. Niamah fatty crab!
it's the dog's nature to bark at strangers, blardy idiotic fatty crab woman!
so is it her son's nature to bark back at him?
So if my dog bites him, will he, in return, bites my dog?
Superior race?
BAH! HUMBUG...
SUPER-BODOH la...

BTW, much as i'd love to unleash my dog so that my 'boy' can get his revenge (those blardy bastards threw stones at him whn we werent around!), I wouldnt want my dog to be put to sleep/euthanized just because he was doing what nature intended him to do.
Talking about euthanization, is there a same law to euthanize those people who taunt, bully and abuse animals? :P

Anonymous said...

Funny how the likes of Najib and Hishamuddin can still fancy themselves standing on the high ground and preaching to us about ethics. From what I hear, Najib's trip to New York in November was an unmitigated disaster. None of the top investors or financiers came to listen to him sell Malaysia, Instead, they sent their young guns who had no qualms firing away, not at the economy or business environment or capital markets in Malaysia. All they wanted to know were about Altantuya and the caning episode and an assortment of other major embarrassments.

bob the builder said...

Anon 6:02PM

Let your dog 'jilik' (lick) the bastard flers with its saliva!

Panda said...

貪污的政府高官,形同偷竊人民共有的財富。

Anonymous said...

heh heh heh, patrick i like your hammer story, reminds me of the forensic baarger who didn't have a measuring tape

Anonymous said...

heh heh heh patrick, i like your hammer story, reminds me of the forensic baarger who does not have a measuring tape

Anonymous said...

Use the hammer to whack those corrupted BN fellows who siphon money out of country via money changer - thus insulting CIMB!

ktteokt said...

This guy should be nominated as a MINISTER in the Malaysian cabinet! All ministers in our cabinet does not know what goes on in their own ministries! Can you imagine a doctor without a stethoscope? Or a soldier without a gun?

Anonymous said...

kkeokt shold add "a jet fighter without an engine"!

Anonymous said...

"Im one of those fr the non-Malay groups who cant afford to go to private varsities or even to NUS even though I was eligible (there was no study loan at that time & even if there was, it wasnt easily available).. Giving up my dreams, NO thanks to the stupid quota system, where my 'bumiputera' classmates who fared worse than me in the STPM exam secured places in the local unis or MARA, but I had to go out to work instead. I have never forgiven the stupid quota system for that (i.e. the stupid government!!!)"

I'm so sorry to hear that. That is totally unfair :(

"And wht i hate most is they abuse the dogs, throwing stones at them, taunting them, etc. because they think dogs are 'haram'. The Quran clearly didnt say this! I have a few Malay frens (bless them!) who love dogs and are kind towards them, but how many are still ignorant and teach their kids to be ignorant?
Whenever i bring my dog for walks, some neighborhood kids of that particular race wld point and say, Anjing, anjing!
and start to bark! Blardy hell...Makes me wonder... who is the anjing now, barking the whole neighborhood down??
Niamah smelly crab!!!
Havent seen an anjing before, bozos?"

Only malays and sorry to say, Indian muslims (pakistanis,banglas,etc) basically non-arabs have these kind of extreme dog-hating obsession, I notice. They hate unnecessary things and make a big deal of something not even there. Example, if you convert to Islam you must change to "Muslim" name (which means Arabic or Malay name). Whoever made that rule hey? You won't find this ridiculous claims with the arabs. (And I really mean Arabs as in those who speak Arabic- not those who LOOK arab i.e turkish,persians,indians,afghans,etc).

The non-arab Muslims, including and especially the Malay muslims should start reading and understanding the basics of Islam. Re-learn it from the basic sources, not from the Ustad fler.

Dogs can be found in Arab muslim farms and even house compounds to protect their properties. You won't ever dream of seeing that in non-arab especially malay properties!

"to those ignorant fools of the so-called "superior race",
(ive only heard of superior shark fin soup b4... superior race??? edible boh?)
PLEASE STOP ABUSING DOGS / ANIMALS just because you assume that they are 'haram'! All creatures are God's creation. Why would God create them if they were HARAM?
So that u can abuse them?
use your brains la, if you have any!!!
NIAMAH flower crab!


Regards,
Kitty"

Abuse of animals is forbidden in Islam, you are right. Btw, I saved a puppy who was trapped in a big drain few years back (He didnt know how to get out and if he remained there, he will drown when it rains and the drain fills with water). I placed him in my cat's taxi, and called the SPCA to take him. The truck driver was an Indian. I'm sure he's shocked to see this tudung-clad girl rescuing a puppy!

Malay muslim married to an Arab lad

Nuffnang