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Monday, December 21, 2009

Sex, Lies and Excuses

Yes, sex is in the deal. No I am not expensive. But if you don't come it's not my fault.

Sunday is generally a day of rest. A day to spend quality time with the family. But I have to admit that yesterday I did very little of either. Why? I was laughing so hard the whole day everyone thought I'd finally gone off the edge of the longkang.

If you've ever had any doubt that the Malaysian mainstream media is full of rubbish yesterday's New Sunday Times might have proved it true to you once and for all. The Sunday paper's front page was full of sex, lies and excuses. Let me refresh your memory by reading you the headline stories...

Sex - Yes, we're...Married

Only in Malaysia will a story about a starlet (and not a very well-known one at that) becoming someone's second wife grap a major newspaper's front page. Zizie Ezette (who gave her that name???!!! It sounds like something out of Sesame Street.) and her "Bung" (Kinabatangan member of parliament famous for his "All women leak once a month" pronouncement in Parliament) finally admitted that they are married. Yay! All smiles from the blissful couple. Meanwhile, nobody quite cared what Bung's first wife had to say about the whole circus act. But then this is Malaysia ma.

Lies - BIGGER $avings

Some people would have us believe that the impending GST (Goods & Services Tax) is good for us and will save us money!!! "Pay less for phone bills, food and beverages under GST". Yeah, sure. The lie is that they don't tell us that we shall be paying tax on more things than ever before.

Excuses - Overzealous lecturers blamed for BTN grouses.

The National Civics Bureau (BTN) chief, Ahmad Maslan blames overzealous lecturers and rebellious participants for the problems surroundingthe BTN courses which many participants and critics have labelled 'racist' and counter-productive.

"Maybe some facilitators terlepas cakap (slip of the tongue). We have 1,500 trainers, facilitators and speakers, how do I control each and everyone of them?"

Yeah sure, Ahmad Maslan. Maybe someone should fire your ass too.



Anonymous said...

Dear Patrick

I just came about this YouTube:

And I thot u shud take a look and give comment in ur next post! :D

God Bless malaysia!

patrickteoh said...

It's already been done on an earlier post but thank you for the link.

Anonymous said...

The beauty of it all,.. they can all blame in on "fate",.. Seems like they think God created them without brains or what???.. Lets see they jump off the bridge and if they think thats fated!!.. SirAlf

Anonymous said...

And taxpayers monies are wasted yearly to keep these Maslan and the bloody Bocor Bung A-holes alive.

Dear Malaysians, we are FCUKED!!!

Wak SirPunk

pinsysu said...

uncle patrick

tis is how you save when GST is introduced. i'll make it very simple for easy understanding ya.
padi farmer bought seeds for his padi field & incurred 4% GST. he then harvest his padi & sells his grain to hawker with 4% GST. hawker sells rice to patrick who comes to his stall for lunch plus 4% GST. so 4%+4%+4% = 15%. dun think i dunno how to add (*grin*). i score A* for my kintergarden math. non-GST registered traders will to do all the magical rounding up lah that's why u end up with 15% in the end. next step is where u actually save $$$ bcos of GST ... you end up eating half a bowl of rice instead of the usual 1 bowl after the GST hike ...

Anonymous said...

Who say that there is 1Malaysia ?

There are 2 sets of laws governing this country. If the Bigfoot were to be on the opposition side, he will be experiencing "fire" from all sides including his back side ! Now, that he comes from BN, nothing will happen to him !

Well, good excuses from the Bigfoot and sure he set a good example for the younger generation !

donplaypuks® said...

Rahsia besar Bung itu dah BOCOR ke? Nyah! Heh, heh, heh!!

We are all of 1 race, the Human Race

clearwater said...

You still read NST? Are you a subscriber? Thought you had better taste than that. NST is a puke provoking publication, stopped reading its garbage ages ago. My Sundays improved immeasurably since then.

Anonymous said...

Matter of facts , life goes on with or without those courses but one thing for sure is that our moralility is going down to the longkang..

We have seen pepole year in year out attending all kind of courses but the perangai serupa juga if not worst.

Generally people treat it just like another outing.They are more conccern about the recreation and the Breakfast-included manual.

Back to office ,back to square one.
You scratch me I scrath you lah.

bennyloh said...


Anonymous said...

income refund also take so long to give back one. With gst, when traders claim back the taxes, how long will it take the govt to process?

Funny la, govt said we wont be worse off. Difficult to believe la, unless u also believe money grows on trees. Govt receipt up RM 1 billion from gst. Small business also better off the govt said and individuals also better off. Fantastic la, where the heck did the RM 1 billion come from? Coconut trees ah?

zzz top case, i refused to read la. waste my internet connection quota

BTN case requires more lies to cover up earlier lies.

ktteokt said...

All these only happens in MALAYSIA! MALAYSIA benar-benar BOLEH matilor!

artchan said...

read this...

Anonymous said...

Aaiiyaa... you wait see la...gobmen needs money to feed these f@#%$8rs up there living on us ppl handouts ..more coming ...more excuses from these lowlife tickskinned parasites...and we are all sucked dry..

sad sack

Ho ho ho said...

All hippocrites. First they keep denying and then they say they are married. Isn't the same tagline all the time, including the young singer who married that datuk ?

caravanserai said...

Sex, lies and excuses
No leak video tape?
About fate about silly ways
Enough to go back history

Ordinary folks easy to say
Only the celebrated humans finding hard to reply
Is it true you got married today?
“Excuse me? What? Me? No!!!!”

The trumpets blowing
The high notes into the sky
The wind carrying it through
The truth hard to say outright

Sex, lies and excuses
Folders for magazines and newspapers
Let the reporters hit the trails
Write about them seeking publicity
Then when enough has been written
Coolly asking for privacy!

BungBungZie said...

Bung Mokhtar will become more mature in thoughts and no more "Bocor" matter again after he got the physical education from Zizie.
Don;t be a sexist anymore, ok Abang Bung ?

Sri Gading MP, what r u waiting for, madu 2 bila ? Bung can recommend many amazing $tarlets for u.

Anonymous said...

Komitmen perpaduan rakyat inilah yang melahirkan kerajaan berjiwa rakyat yang bermaksud 3P —

• Perkasakan (Enables) rakyat dengan kepakaran, ilmu dan pendidikan serta menyediakan peluang yang saksama kepada semua lapisan masyarakat demi mewujudkan kemakmuran. Contohonya adalah inisiatif wifi yang diberikan percuma kepada semua rakyat dengan tujuan menguasai aplikasi computer yang merupakan bidang paling penting dalam pendidikan masakini. Dan pemberian bantuan wang kepada sekolah Cina, Tamil dan Sekolah Agama Rakyat ataupun menubuhkan satu Hab Pendidikan agar mempertingkatkan mutu pendidikan. Di sini perlu diingatkan bahawa kita bukan mahu melihat Pulau Pinang mempunyai pakar profesional paling baik tetapi jga para ustaz dan ustazah serta huffaz. Malah buat kali pertama Pulau Pinang telah memberi penghormatan dengan memberikan pengiktirafan kepada 100 penghafal Quran atas pencapaian cemerlang mereka.

• Perkuasakan (Empowers) rakyat dengan hak-hak asasi, kebebasan dan kebertanggungjawaban supaya semua dapat peluang yang saksama dan berjaya atas usaha sendiri dan bukannya hubungan iaitu technical know-how dan bukannya technical know-who. Contohnya pinjaman mikrokredit kepada ibu tunggal dan peniaga kecil dan projek pusat CAT sebanyak RM10 juta untuk membantu pekerja kehilangan kerja mencari kerja;

• Perkayakan (Enrich) rakyat dengan perkongsian kekayaan dan hasil ekonomi bagi mencapai keadilan sosio-ekonomi seperti menjadi negeri pertama di Malaysia basmi miskin tegar, memastikan setiap keluarga mendapat sekurang-kurangnya RM500 sebulan, wang penghargaan RM100 setahun kepada warga emas dan RM1,000 kepada ahli keluarga bila meninggal.

Konsep anak Malaysia 5K keadilan, kebebasan, kebenaran, kebajikan dan ketakwaan kepada Tuhan.

Anonymous said...

Negara Malaysia, anak berharga

Adil ditegak rakyat dijaga,

Integriti Bernyala Harapan Bersinar

Amar Maaruf Nahi Mungkar

Dengan kata lain, amalan pentadbiran amar maaruf nahi mungkar boleh menyatupadukan rakyat kerana semua sokongkan kebaikan dan bencikan kejahatan seperti amalan rasuah. Itulah sebabnya Kerajaan PR selalu tekankan ketuanan rakyat dan menganggap semua warga sebagai insane bermaruah bukannya berdiskriminasi atas warna kulit. Dengarlah komitmen kami — Bahawa kerajaan PR akan memberikan bantuan sama kepada semua rakyat tanpa kira kaum, agama, jantina dan latarbelakang.

Ho ho ho said...

Then they say it is god's will that they have to get married or rather to wreck a marriage. Don't be surprised if she says that he is such a wonderful and loving father to his children and that's why she is marrying himm. The young singer said this loh

Trashed said...

The MP for Kinabatangan showed his true colours by first denying and/or sidetracking from announcing the TRUTH. If he had already married his 2nd wife, then why not just tell the rakyat the truth instead of giving excuses or implying that there was something to hide.

This, unfortunately, is the calibre (or lack thereof) of this elected representative of the people. He withholds the truth.

Perhaps it can be speculated that he did not get his first wife's consent ? If so, then really, if he fit to be an MP if he cannot even follow the proper procedures in his personal life ?

Anonymous said...

beauty & a beast !?

Anonymous said...

Those in the corporate sector will lose their position within the week with an excuse like that !

A very senior civil servant like En Ahmad Maslan should have a network of penagarah negeri, timbalan pengarah, pen kanan pengarah, penguasa and pembantu' s to assist him. And his Board.

If he isn't spending time at his job, if he is not able to do his job... if he is not interested in this line of job .....

At the very least he should KNOW what to do next.


Anonymous said...

If Zizie had any brains, she would never have married Kinabatangan Bung. Anybody with a name of Bung deserves to be the butt of rakyat's jokes for his entire life.


anti_rpk said...

go to hell la patrick..ur name is worst than zizie ezzette ok! ur name rhymes with fuck shit!

Anonymous said...

pat, don't u just love malaysia??? i know i do, and that's why i'm proud telling the whole world of how MALAYSIA BOLEH!!!! BOLEH LINGKUP!!!


artchan said...


what kind of name is zizie ezzette? Name of a cat or cartoon character..or your sister? How can you let your sister marry a sexist like that donkey?

SriGadingVoters said...

Sri Gading MP
Kalau u gatal sama Kinabatangan dan tinggalkan isteri untuk bermadu dua, kita rakyat tidak akan mohon anda.
Ini warning ok ?

ahoo said...

Wah ! You still read NST ? Anyway, I have stop reading all MSMs since the beginning of this year and my mind is clearer from all those lies, half-truths and spins.

If we do not read them, we are uninformed on certain news but if we read them, we are ill-informed !
So what to do with them. Better to be uninformed than being ill with their spinning. No deal with them.

Anonymous said...

zizti zizti bung bung ....@#$%^&* !

Anonymous said...

cuti cuti...oops... curi curi curi 1malaysia !

Anonymous said...


anti_rpk obviously got issues with Mr Teoh here or maybe he got ditched by zizie!!

way to go BigBangBung!!!

Dirt Road Rider said...

Desperate times call for desperate measures. What better way to inject the style of cheapo supermarket gossip rags into the NSunT which is,if you had noticed, is looking more like a gossip mag than an erstwhile sunday paper. By the way, they have a woman editor now, I was told. Maybe that explains the new direction they are heading.

As for Zizie and Bung Monkee, I wish them all the best. By the way, Zizou was my favourite footballer.

Anonymous said...

teoh & s#*t rhymes? wow, your english is powderfool man!

and what did zizie do to deserve that? are all members of your tribe as polite as you?

Anonymous said...

Uncle, did you read this on MT today? Wow, Chinese got weapon you know? Now you know where the jet engine gone to...Dun play2...

Did they burry an Optimus Prime down there also or not...I wonder...

Anonymous said...

zizi zizie is ok BUT NOT bung bung !

Anonymous said...

Wa Patrick where you get the picture no wonder the old guy is leaking juice cannot tahan man . ZiZi or zuzu this bitch such make you hot, hot hot and they say Malaysian are Viagra addict no way man Mr Leaking has proven that he do not need it and still can stand.

Anonymous said...

Hi there ZuZU ZiZi,

Why you want to waste that gorgeous body on this old guy? He must be more then 60 and you only 31. What can he give you? Mercedes yes but no power , you suck his dick very fast come no fun, you are young the power fuck is for you not this old cock but if $$ is your game go for it fuck him till he die then take his money and we forget about his leaking brain , do us all a favour girl.

Bungholio said...

I need TP or my Bunghole. (bunghole means A-hole in slang)

Anonymous said...

Cik Z sudah dibocor oleh Bung?

habislah dara (& darah) pada orang tua Bung.

Anonymous said...

Bung Utan still got quota of another 2 malay chicks to be bocored.

Anonymous said...

Kerismudin should rehabilitate the BTN lecturers!

Sotong said...

Why do you still waste money on NST?

Read Teh Sun - free and better with Nades!

Money Changer said...

Why doesn't Bank Negara work in tandem with the Inland Revenue Department to investigate how the super rich and corrupt people (including the Big Fat Mama) manage to siphon their millions out of this country without using our banking system and how on earth did these 'special people' manage to accumulate such big sum in the first place.

Bocor Bung said...

Does anyone has the wedding photo of Bung & Zizie?

Uncle Neo said...

I am a 66-year old retiree man and miracle happened last nite when I had wet dreams with the 2 chicks in 'myeg tv commercial'.

so I am happy for Bung becos he has limited opportunity to climax with his 1st wife.

We would rather have him exhausting his energy and mojo in bedroom than to talk cock in parliment.

mojo jojo said...

I doubt Bung still have the mojo.
Zizie will be disappointed with a punctured bird that will not rise to the occasion.

Anonymous said...

Bung got dildo, no worry for him.

tongkat ali + viagra kaw kaw will kau tim.

Anonymous said...

our polis cannot jaga his own children, how to jaga us?

Anonymous said...

Is Utusan Melayu a threat to the advancement of the Malays? Is it still a popular tabloid that now uses threatening means to maintain readership? Or is it merely a continuation of a cultural transmission of fear and trembling, superstition and sensationalism, to get modern Malays to do shadowboxing/shadowpuppet play with bogeymen and bogeymen created from an old script of Ketuanan Melayu?

Barney said...

Stop blaming the Polis and MACC for being subservient to the government. It is our fault that this has happened because we allowed it by voting BN into power every election since independence.

Anonymous said...

Zizie got a BMW Sports car and a honeymoon in Europe.

Bung certainly got cash.

Wonder what the 3rd minstress will get next.

I am much younger than Bung with better look but less cash. No use.

Anonymous said...

Zizie & Bung went to Europe for honeymoon via Filipines.

Easy to deduce that the cash are stashed in Filipines.

Very dangerous to use money changer now that Big Fat Mama also kena exposed.

melodi said...


Any scoop on bung & Zizie wedding or honeymoon photo?

terjah said...

Zizie's mother was interviewed in MELODY on TV3.

I think she is more suitable for Bung.

that's my opinion.

amin said...

Just learnt from URTV magazine that Astro Awani's Dangsuria was a former wife of TV3's football commentator Abu Bakar Atan.