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Niamah!!! in Chinese

Niamah!!! Chinese version YorMarder!!! http://niamahinchinese.blogspot.com/

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Toolan to hear la!

Universal Studio logo

This afternoon while driving home I heard this piece of 'news' on the radio. The deejay was making an announcement calling for interested young Malaysians to attend an audition session that was going to be held by Universal Studios (the theme park) Singapore. It seems that Universal Studios, the theme park, is going to open in Singapore and they were looking for people to join their workforce. What made me feel 'too lan' and I must admit a little envious of our neighbour is this.

Our YB's have spent millions of our Ringgits on study trips to theme parks all over the world. Disneyland and Universal Studios included I'm sure. Weren't we supposed to have built some major theme park in Johore years ago? So, after all that the Singaporeans are going to build Universal Studios on their Sentosa Island Resort. And we Malaysians are being offered jobs there.

You say la. Too lan or not?

NIAMAH!!!

Bukit Antarabangsa

Blue/Orange tarp doesn't work? Use stone baskets.

UPDATE BELOW

The above photo was taken today, April 29, 2009 at about 3.05 pm along Jalan Wangsa 1 leading up to Bukit Antarabangsa. This slope had collapsed quite a few years ago. Up until recently, the collapsed slope had been covered by the Malaysian answer to all landslides - the blue/orange tarpaulin which now are in tatters due to weather and neglect. Just what will be done to rectify this landslip is not known although earth strenghtening work has started further up the road after the deadly landslide of last December which claimed 5 lives. Part of the RM70 million rescue project announced by the government. Does it include this slope on Jalan Wangsa 1? Don't know. It doesn't look like it. Well, to be fair to somebody they did make all those stone 'baskets' a few months ago. What these are supposed to do if the slope collapses again is anybody's guess.

Jalan Wangsa 1 is also lined by what were once beautiful, tall pine trees. However, these are now rotted and brittle and branches and sometimes whole trees break and fall across the busy road during rain-storms. Fortunately, nobody has been injured. So far. Little or no attention has been given to this problem which has been highlighted to the local authority, MPAJ on several occasions.

Can you almost hear this being said somewhere?..............

"Ape? Bukit Antarabangsa? Landslide? Trees fell down? What la! Again ah? How many people die? Ha? Nobody die? Then disturb me for what? Wait la. Somebody die then you call again, okay?"

NIAMAH!!!

I received this email today.....

Ruj. Kami : AMMK/SEL/PBT(6)/045/LKL


Tarikh : 29hb April 2009


SEGERA DENGAN FAKS DAN POS


Yang Berbahagia Dato' Mohammad bin Yacob

Yang Dipertua,

Majlis Perbandaran Ampang Jaya (MPAJ),

Menara MPAJ, Jalan Pandan Utama,

Pandan Indah Selatan,

55100 KUALA LUMPUR


Dato',


MEMINTA TINDAKAN SEGERA KE ATAS PEMBAIKAN CERUN DI SEPANJANG JALAN WANGSA 1, ARAH MENUJU KE BUKIT ANTARABANGSA


Dengan segala hormatnya saya merujuk kepada perkara di atas.


2. Adalah dimaklumkan bahawa Pejabat YB Elizabeth Wong selaku Pengerusi Jawatankuasa Tetap Pelancongan, Hal Ehwal Pengguna dan Alam Sekitar telah menerima aduan berkenaan dengan tanah cerun runtuh di sepanjang Jalan Wangsa 1, arah menuju ke Bukit Antarabangsa.


3. Tempat kejadian (sila rujuk lampiran gambar) tersebut telah menunjukan bahawa pembaikan cerun yang cuba dilakukan tidak efektif. Tambahan pula, tiada sebarang tindakan yang selanjutnya diambil selepas tragedi tanah runtuh yang berlaku tahun lepas. Seperti yang dimaklumkan, kerajaan telah memperuntukkan RM70 juta untuk projek pembaikan tanah runtuh. Apakah perkembangan pembaikan tersebut?


4. Sehubungan itu, Pejabat YB Elizabeth Wong ingin meminta pihak Dato' untuk mengambil tindakan segera ke atas pembaikan cerun di tempat tersebut. Pihak Dato' juga dipohon untuk menyediakan satu laporan perkembangan projek pembaikan yang berjumlah RM70 juta tersebut untuk pengetahuan Pejabat YB Elizabeth Wong selewat-lewatnya pada 6hb Mei 2009 (Rabu). Kerjasama pihak Dato' didahului dengan ribuan terima kasih.


Sekian.



“BERKHIDMAT UNTUK RAKYAT”


Saya yang menurut perintah




LEE KHAI LOON

Setiausaha Politik kepada YB Elizabeth Wong

012-2258607


s.k.


1. Y. Bhg. Encik Patrick Teoh

Artis dan blogger. mortimer53@gmail.com



--
LEE Khai Loon
012 - 225 8607
Political Secretary to YB Elizabeth Wong
EXCO for Tourism, Consumer Affairs & Environment



Monday, April 27, 2009

Oh you all live like this one issit?

Najib: Aiyoh!!! KL is really congested la. I never knew!

Why is it that these days whenever I read about politicians especially those like the PM, DPM and the top YAB's I get really pissed off? I realise that some of those things I read aren't really their fault as the stories are results of actions by their subordinates or colleagues acting or speaking, supposedly, on their behalf.

Yesterday's Sunday Times carried a story about Najib's latest PR stunt. Another walkabout in the city. Okay, nothing wrong with that as we ordinary Malaysians have discovered with Abdullah Badawi's stroll through Immigration which resulted in super-efficient passport renewals. But then some dumb arse has to open his mouth and tokkok.

This time it is the turn of the new Federal Territories Minister, Raja Nong Chik (what a name!) I wonder what possessed him to say, "Through the walkabout and by boarding the LRT with the people, he (Najib) experienced first-hand what they have to go through daily, like jams and other difficulties, in conjested areas."

I don't know about you but for me all that statement achieved was to confirm in my mind how dislocated and out of touch with reality the Prime Minister of my country is. And surely that is not a good sign, is it? Scary. I mean, he needed a walkabout in the Jalan Tuanku Abdul Rahman area to know that KL is a congested city that experiences massive traffic jams on a regular basis? He doesn't know that for a capital city of a country boasting that it will attain developed status in 11 years time its public transport system is a joke? And to add salt to our wounds the PM announced that he "...has instructed the Federal Territories Ministry and other relevant ministries to ensure the facilities are improved for the benefit of the public." Now really, Najib! How many times have we heard this crap line and from how many YAB's before you? From previous experience we all know it's hogwash and I am sure you know it too. Saying stuff like that almost always means that the person saying it (in this case, you) doesn't know what the hell to do but thought that it sounded good to say to a crowd of people. Actually, people who say these sort of things also most times do not even know where they are. "Oh you mean that was Jalan TAR ah? Aiyoh!" You get my drift? So please la, Najib. You're my new Prime Minister. You're the one promising to build 1Malaysia. But can you get real first before you tell us anything? Quite tiring listening otherwise.

NIAMAH!!!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Huh? Can one ah?

We will reduce corruption by at least this much. If possible la.
(Photo of RTD Director-General, Solah Mat Hassan)

I just read in The Malaysian Insider that the RTD or Road Transport Department has signed an agreement with the anti-corruption authorities to get rid of corruption. In its own operation I presume. Can one ah? Sign an agreement with an0ther Federal department to get rid of corruption. How does it work? Read this part of the report ...

Seen as one of the more corrupted government agencies for licensing bad drivers and vehicles, the RTD today launched its integrity plan to standardise its procedures and work outline.

“The public have all the negative perception about the RTD, such as not being responsive, not customer friendly, bureaucracy and bribery. I have received many public complaints and I know they are not satisfied with the RTD,” the Transport Minister said when launching the ‘RTD Integrity Plan Malaysia’ here.

“These accusations comes from the experience the public face as well as the stakeholders who have dealt with the RTD on an everyday basis. There are some truths in their accusations. Even though it is hard to swallow but the RTD must accept the reality,” Ong said.

Ong later told the reporters that the department had signed a memorandum of understanding with the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission (MACC) to end corruption in the department.

Rather novel way of combating corruption don't you think? Ah...but later on the Ong fler added......

"This shows the aspiration of the RTD and also the ministry to end bribery, if possible, or to at least reduce it."

Oh okay. If possible la. Baarger! Before starting already put in disclaimer. What la!!!

NIAMAH!!!

Monday, April 20, 2009

No la...I only fly 1st Class because...

"When you do something bad to people, one day God will do something bad to you. Wait and see. Time will tell"...Khir Toyo
(You got to admire the man for his gall)

Politicians are well-known for being creative but I think a prize should be given to Khir Toyo, the former chief minister of Selangor. The man is currently being grilled for his and his family's use of state company Permodalan Negeri Selangor Berhad's money to go for what seems like very expensive holidays disguised as 'study tours'.

When he was asked why he needed to fly 1st Class on these trips his reply was almost to say...... "if I as the boss don't travel 1st class then how? Like my underlings have to travel in classes below me, right? So if I travel business class then some of them will have to sit in Economy and then those lower down ones how? There's no more seats after Economy kan? That one cannot la. I cannot treat my people like that."

"I have my entitlement. If I were to reduce my entitlement to what an officer gets then what is the officer going to reduce to? I am the chairman. There is the deputy chairman, board of directors, government officers going along. If I fly business class (not first class), then what happens to my state secretary? He will complain. If I am travelling alone it is easier. But I am travelling with a group of people and if I downgrade myself - it’s a problem for the others. But I never ask (for the pricey presidential suites or first class flights). Whatever they provide, I go along with."

Does the above statement sound familiar? I seem to remember that not so long ago 2 PKR flers used almost the same excuse when they were allegedly offered women for sex in return for something or other in their capacity as officials. "How can I refuse? People offer I must accept la. Cannot be rude kan?" Heh heh heh...

If you think that is funny and sounds like the man was just making a joke read Marina Mahathir's take here and the full "The Star" interview with this clueless arrogant man very obviously clutching for straws here.


NIAMAH!!!

Thursday, April 09, 2009

No balls!

2 got balls. 1 got batang. How la dei?

And so the 3 by-elections are over and the results were, to say the least, a bit expected la. BN won in Batang Ai. PKR won the 2 West Malaysian ones. Quite expectedly conversations around the mamak stalls will be about this happening. So, I want to share with you something that I actually overheard at a mamak stall near my office this morning.

A couple at the next table to me were discussing what they were reading in the morning papers. And the wife commented, "Batang aje!" I presume she meant that BN only won in Batang Ai.

Then the thought occurred to me of how true the metaphor is. It's like saying, "Eh! The fler got big batang only but no balls la. Hahahaha...". You know what I mean? :-) So in a way, the BN got castrated in Batang Ai. Hee hee hee...sorry la but I enjoyed that.

I suppose by the same token the PKR flers got the 2 "balls" but got no batang. Also no good, right?

One got penetration but no juice. The other got the juice but no delivery. Hey! So who says there are no eunuchs in government anymore?

Hahahahahaha.....sorry I mean...NIAMAH!!!

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Caption fun!

Photo from The Star

MY: Shit! Sweaty infidel palm! Yuck! Must shake
his hand ah?
Man behind MY: We need his vote. Shake, shake, shake.

NO PRIZES THIS TIME.

Yeah! Sure!

A typical Malaysian family.

It happens all the time. Have you noticed? This great need to be one with the people. Same as you and I. Normal. I am talking about all those VVIP's who would have us believe that they are no different from any Ali, Ah Chong or Samy in Malaysia. It happens all the time. When a Prime Minister resigns or when a new Prime Minister is appointed. And it sure happens when our Agung is installed. Pages in the media will be filled with news of how this person is a People's (insert what whatever VVIP title you like) Whatever. The latest in the series of "Please believe me I am just like you" stories appeared yesterday in The Star

PM's children lead normal life the headline read. This was about the children of our new PM, Najib. I almost choked on my fried meehoon when I read, "Their father may be the Prime Minister of the country but life for Riza Shahriz, Nooriyana Najwa and Norashman Razak is just the same as any other Malaysian." Just the same as any Malaysian eh? Okay. The kids all live and study abroad. In UK and USA. Presumably they have been there since pre-university level. In Malaysia, ORDINARY Malaysians are "persuaded" to study in Malaysia. And most 'ordinary' Malaysians can't afford to send their children abroad anyway. Same ah?

One of the PM's kids also said, "When we return to our lives in London or Washington DC, we still clean our own rooms and take out the garbage". Wow.

I don't know what you think but for me I would like to, for once, hear something honest from the spin-doctors of these politicians. I mean we all know. Being children of a Malaysian Prime Minister has its privileges la. How can don't have? Like is a traffic policeman going to give you a speeding ticket? Is the swanky restaurant not going to seat you just because they are full? Is the Immigration office going to make you queue if he or she recognised you?

So come on la. Don't treat us like idiots can ah? Come right out and say it. Yeah sure I get special treatment because I am the son/daughter/nephew/niece/mother/whatever of the Prime Minister. That's the way it is because we Malaysians are very polite and respect our leaders. But the thing about us is we don't abuse our privileges. We enjoy them and we appreciate them as gifts from the people we serve and we treat them with great respect. Terima Kasih. Enough lor. Stop with this "I am just like you" crap. Can ah?

NIAMAH!!!

Sunday, April 05, 2009

The things people say...

Dr. Mohd. "Managers are nothing" Agus Yusuff

Dr. Mohd. Agus Yusoff is an associate professor and a political analyst so he is a learned man and we should listen when he speaks la. So the NST interviewed him about the new administration and the upcoming new cabinet. He was asked if there are enough elected people now who have the calibre and who can perform their allotted duties. His answer?

"Plenty. Almost all of those who were elected in the last Umno elections are definitely people who are considered to be of calibre, in the eyes of Umno. But they not only have to be capable, they also have to be clean. They have to be firm and strong, and only politicians have got this type of quality, because they are leaders who lead. They are no managers who manage."

I just wanted to draw your attention to the highlighted part of his answer. Only politicians are firm and strong? And then he further explained that, "Managers are nothing. They are only respected because of their positional power. But a leader is a person who says something and leads. They can inspire others to work. Only a politician and a leader can do this. And this is what we need for a person to hold a ministry position."

Huh???!!!

NIAMAH!!!

Friday, April 03, 2009

DUKE + MRRII

A typical weekday at 8 am on the MRRII which now includes
DUKE users (entering on the left) who'd just paid for the privilege of joining the MRRII traffic snarl.

Almost every driver in Kuala Lumpur knows that the MRRII is a badly congested roadway on the best of days. On rainy days it is a traffic nightmare. Everybody knows. Well....I guess not everybody knows actually. The folks who designed and built Damansara Ulu Kelang Expressway (DUKE) obviously don't know. Or maybe they chose to close their eyes to the problem since they'd been given the opportunity to 'toll' the motoring public for heaven knows how many years. I am sure they also receive subsidies and compensations from the government like all the other toll road operators. And so they build this highway and launch it with the slogan, "There are things I'd much rather do than be stuck in a traffic jam" or something to that effect. When the truth should be something like, "DUKE, we get you to the other traffic jam faster!" Look at the photo above. All DUKE does is to bring motorists from Gombak, Sentul, Batu Caves and soon, Jalan Duta to the overcrowded MRRII faster so that they can get stuck for longer due to the increased volume of vehicular traffic. That seems to be the Malaysian way ya? We don't solve problems. We just bring you face-to-face with other problems. Faster. Boleh!!!

NIAMAH!!!

Nuffnang