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Niamah!!! in Chinese

Niamah!!! Chinese version YorMarder!!! http://niamahinchinese.blogspot.com/

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

It's called inflation

We have to count our pennies la. So which one you want? Mercedes or BMW?

Last Monday I went grocery shopping. Admittedly, not something that I do very often. It was in a supermarket down the road from my house. Nothing very exciting. Except that I came to a rather late realisation I suppose.

The Ringgit doesn't buy shit these days!

And so, our earnings as ordinary Malaysians remain the same while the prices of goods and services increase with incredible speed right before our eyes. Some friends tell me that's called inflation. Inevitable in an economy like ours faced with the global financial health as it is. So I'm told.

When I got home with the small little plastic bag of purchases that I received in exchange for many Ringgit notes of the blue-ish-green variety I read in the newspapers that our government had announced that members of the judiciary (and some other government VIP's) were going to be given new cars!!! Apparently, this was to replace the government's fleet of aging Proton Perdana's.

And the learned judges were being asked if they preferred Mercedes Benz or BMW!!!

And then today I read that Najib had announced the government was planning to cut back a little on its operating expenditure overall next year.

“Government spending has to be prudent and that includes procurement,”
Najib told reporters at a briefing by Bank Negara.

Oh ya? Prudent spending issit? So what car you want. Merc or BM?

What the hell is going on? Does anybody in this government know exactly what the plan is? Is there a plan?


Niamah!!!

Ops Sikap 2009. Record number die on Malaysian roads.

Watch this video. It may make you drive a little slower. A little more carefully. A little better.

(This video contains graphic scenes. Viewer discretion is advised)




Friday, September 25, 2009

Yunos Abd Ghani.
Chief Executive, National Higher Education Fund Corporation.

(Don't shoot the messenger? This one I wouldn't mind pulling the trigger.)

The Star's front page today headlined a story about so-called VIP's who renege on their repayments to the National Higher Education Fund Corporation. These loans obviously were taken out for their VIP children for pursuing tertiary education. And these Yang Berhormat's (elected people's representatives) and Yang Berbahagia's (honorary title holders) owe the fund to the tune of RM400million!

According to the Corporation's chief executive Yunos Abd. Ghani, the corporation has had to resort to barring these defaulters from leaving the country. Yunos also said that one of the most popular excuses used by these VIP defaulters was that they did not receive the corporation's notices or that they had a change of address.

As a tax-paying Malaysian these people really piss me off. And I think they should be punished to the full extent of the law. But this is not the reason I am writing about this today.

VIP's, including professionals and celebrities make up the 26,000-odd loan defaulters who have taken money from the National Higher Education Fund Corporation. RM400million!!! And not paid back!!! And this was announced by the chief executive of the Corporation!

What I want to know is when this incompetent fool is going to get FIRED!!!
Hello! Yunus, the corporation you're in charge of runs up bad debts of RM400million and all you can do is make an announcement to that effect? And be so proud of the fact that you have barred some people from going on their holidays abroad? How the fuck did YOU allow bad debts to rise to RM400million?

NIAMAH!!!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Raya present to the Rakyat

Shall I tell them for Raya or not?

As Malaysians all over the country celebrate Hari Raya Aidil Fitri many may have missed this little Raya "present" from our Prime Minister which he chucked out there a couple of days ago.

He was commenting on the illegal posting of documents on the Malaysia Today website recently showing a request to increase the cost for the project. The request from the Finance Ministry was for a retrospective increase in cost for the controversial Port Klang Free Zone (PKFZ) project from about RM1 billion to nearly RM5 billion.

Najib said that despite the Official Secrets Act the people will continue to be informed of developments on the PKFZ investigation.

That's all great and as it should be.

And now as a Niamah!!! commenter pointed out, here is the humiliating part. Najib's present to all of us during this holiday season.......he said,

“We are not denying the people the right to information on PKFZ, but if there is anything we want to tell the people, we will announce it later.

Well, thank you, SIR!

NIAMAH!!!

SELAMAT HARI RAYA


To all Malaysians

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDIL FITRI


Celabrate and Stay Safe

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Apa the fuck!!!

Hiyah! Who go and tell them? Leceh la now. Some more during Raya.
Kacau betul la.


The Malaysian Mirror today reported "The RM12.5 billion Port Klang Free Zone financial debacle took a fresh twist after news leaked alleging that the cabinet had been kept apprised of the massive cost over-runs and may have thereby even given its tacit approval."

Wow!!! In any other country the above would have been damning evidence on mis-management by the ruling government. In some countries the government would have resigned en masse in shame. In others, the Prime Ministers might have committed ritual suicide.

But in Malaysia.......Najib merely announces......

"Anyone who exposes cabinet papers will be subjected to police investigations and action under the Official Secrets Act will depend on the investigations."


And the Deputy Inspector-General of Police Ismail Omar confirmed a probe has begun and also announces, "We are investigating to find out who is responsible for exposing
information on the cabinet paper,"
he said.

Find out who is responsible for exposing information on the cabinet paper???


Fuck that for a joke, YB.


I don't know about you but as a Malaysian I am more interested in who fucked up in the PKFZ RM12.5billion fiasco!!!

NIAMAH!!!

Lagi Bodoh

Hmmm...what fuck-up shall I announce next?

The Channel News Asia (CNA) report that I just read is 3 days old but I think its contents are still relevant. So I draw your attention to it lor. And some more it is a story that concerns our grandmaster of Political Tragi-comedy, Hishammuddin Hussein.

Malaysia releases five militant suspects

CNA reported that Malaysia had freed five alleged members of the Jemaah Islamiyah (JI) militant group, saying they have been rehabilitated during years in detention without trial. These 5 are members of Jemaah Islamiyah who have been blamed for major attacks including the 2002 Bali bombings. However, Home Minister Hishammuddin Hussein said that the five were no longer considered a threat to national security.

I am sure that the world at large was shocked to read of the release of the 5 potential terrorists. As well they should be. But we Malaysians are not. Why? Can't you read? Hishammuddin Hussein already said ma. "......the 5 are no longer considered a threat to national security."

The operative word is "national". That could mean that since they are based here and treated here like 'rehabilitated' saudara-saudara (cousins/friends/buddies) they won't do anything to their own magnanimous Malaysian kawan-kawan what. What, who and where they might want to terrorise in future is no concern of ours. Right? And some more our Hishammuddin is such a nice fler.

"Their release today was to give them an opportunity to celebrate Aidilfitri with their respective families and has nothing to do with the by-election for the Bagan Pinang state seat," he said. Awwwwwwwwwww.........Now how can you not love this guy?

But as a Malaysian I am bewildered la. I mean if the 5 flers are suspected of being linked to an organisation that is suspected of having committed terrorist acts like bombings and all then investigate la and charge them in court and if they are found guilty of any crimes then throw the book at them la. But now, catch them, throw them inside Kamunting without charge (and we have no idea of what goes on in there, do we?) and after a while tell us, "Ah semuanya okay. They are rehabilitated already." Rehabilitated from what? And if Kamunting with the ISA are so blaardy good at rehabilitating how come they couldn't do the shit they wanted with Anwar and RPK?

And all this action manages to get us is a growing reputation that we might be a terrorist breeding ground and safe haven. Waffor? So we replace all the current tourists with visitors from terrorists hotspots ah? But the last time I checked KLCC, Mega Mall and the Pavilion are not having sales on designer missiles and trendy A-bombs. Yet. Something to think about I guess because I heard that makers of those things give HUGE commissions.

NIAMAH!!!

Friday, September 18, 2009

Ultra BODOH!!!

Hishammuddin: PLEASE GIVE US BACK OUR STIFF'S

A commenter on Niamah!!! alerted me to this story. Our grand, old master of political bodoh-ness, Hishammuddin Hussein has done it again!!!

"Noordin could have been rehabilitated", he announced.

Malaysian Noordin (Mat Top) is the terrorist who was shot dead by Indonesian police recently and was the cause of this 'sadness' to Hishammuddin who was upset to hear of his death. But what he said next is a classic. Even among seasoned TOKKOK politicians.

“What he did was wrong. We don’t condone what he did. I am sad that we did not get to rehabilitate him, like we have done with many others, including Jemaah Islamiah militants."

You think that is all? No! Hishammuddin outdoes himself. Again!

“I am sad because a life is a life,” he told reporters.

PHWAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Noordin, a militant mastermind who eluded capture for nine years and terrorised Indonesia with a string of deadly bombings, was killed during a shoot-out in central Indonesia yesterday.

Hishammuddin said the Government would help Noordin’s family bring the body back after the authorities completed their investigations.

As some of the commenters to Niamah!!! observed this is just soooooooo Malaysian isn't it? We lose scores of our top brains and talents every year to poachers like Singapore but our Home Minister works to bring back dead terrorists. Something not right there la.

NIAMAH!!!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Eh! All gone already la.

She yens for the time when Laksa, Chick Rice and Nasi Lemak were still ours.

The minister of Tourism, Ng Yen Yen made a lot of noise yesterday launching the annual Malaysia International Gourmet Festival yesterday. Why was she making more noise than usual? She was apparently upset that other countries have 'hijacked' our FOOD!

"Chilli crab is Malaysian. Hainanese chicken rice is Malaysian. We have to lay claim to our food,” she lamented.


Ng Yen Yen also said that Laksa, nasi lemak and bak kut teh are some of the food Malaysia will lay claim to.

I wonder how Malaysia intends to do that? Through legal means or follow the example of our Indonesian neighbours when those flers accused us of stealing their songs and dances by taking to the streets.

“In the three months, we will identify certain key dishes (to declare as Malaysian). We have identified laksa ... all types of laksa, nasi lemak and bak kut teh,” declared the minister of Tourism.

When asked how the ministry would go about labelling the dishes Malaysian after identifying them, Dr Ng said she would reveal her strategy at a later stage.

“That is Part Two. We cannot reveal it yet, but we will let you know soon,” she said.

"We will let you know soon"....now, of course when a politician says something like that we all know not to expect too much la.

But to me it is like locking the stable doors after the horses have bolted. In case Ng Yen Yen has not noticed, most of the food that she has identified and wants to label as Malaysian has already been stamped SINGAPOREAN!

Chili Crabs, Hainanese Chicken Rice (even the rice-ball variety that we all thought was unique to this kopitiam in Malacca is 'discovered' to be a Singaporean original), nasi lemak, laksa. As usual our super efficient neighbours have been hard at work identifying what is worth taking, taken and stamped everything before we even realise Eh! What happened ah?

And it has already past the stage where if we were now to make claims over these food dishes we'd just be another butt of jokes on the global hawker centre.

While we were busy being Truly Asia our smarter neighbours have been busy identifying what is worth plundering and taken the loot. We should have learned our lessons a long time ago. After all, they plunder our schools and universities every year for talent. But then we are Malaysians and so learn rather sloooooooowly.

I am not sure she is aware that the Malaysian International Gourmet Festival is founded and organised by an Australian. So she'd better watch it closely or in time to come Nasi Kandar might be actually Aussie.

NIAMAH!!!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Bodoh!!!

Ya. Belongs to government ma. No meh?


UPDATE

Section 22 (1) and Section 341 (1) of the Government Gazette notification on Jan 30, 1997, the Registrar of Companies (ROC) had decided not to accept companies registering with the name of “Penang”.

Chief Minister Lim said that he WAS misquoted and his statement taken out of context. According to the follow-up story in The Star today he said....

“We want to create awareness so that the word ‘Penang’ is not simply used. Of course, that doesn’t mean you can’t say The Star Penang, Penang Sun, Penang laksa or Penang food, but it is only to names that will give public the impression that it is of a state government’s body.

“For instance, you cannot simply use terms like Penang Tourism Board, Penang Heritage or Penang Hill unless you get consent from the state government,” Lim said.

He said the state did not want people to misuse “Penang” to collect donations with the claim that it was for the state government.

“Some people are trying to take this opportunity to ridicule the whole issue, saying that we can’t even use Penang Laksa and others,” he said.

END

In the race to see who can make the stupidest press statements to piss off Malaysians, the DAP's Lim Guan Eng wins the prize today.

Penang stakes claim to word ‘Penang’

“I want to make it very clear that the word Penang belongs to the state government......" .....Lim Guan Eng, Chief Minister of Penang.

The name of 'my' birthplace belongs to the government???!!!

Please la, Mr. Lim let's leave the foot-in-mouth disease infestations to those flers from BN, okay? Or are you too enjoying the taste of what it's like to be IN POWER?

NIAMAH!!!

1Malaysia F1

The expressions on their faces don't convince me that everybody there thinks it is such a great idea.

Very soon we Malaysians will have another argument with our Singaporean neighbours in the kiasu debate. So you have F1 night race. So what? We have................

OUR OWN F1 RACING TEAM!!!

You got ah? No right? Ha!

But seriously speaking though the thought that raced through my mind when I read the news was...........

WHAT FOR???!!!

Surely we have better use for our hard-earned tax money. No? During a time when other seasoned F1 teams are thinking hard about how to keep going due to financial crises we jump into this ultra-expensive game? WHY?

So, it is NOT all tax-payers money. This latest hare-brained idea is to be a partnership between the Government and the private sector. According to The Star story, the partners are the Malaysian government, Air Asia and the Naza Group. Maybe, they will eventually tell us what the shareholding ratio is but I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you. Something also tells me that if the venture is a success then the Malaysian government will be just a small shareholder in a venture to encourage Malaysian entrepreneurship or something. But if it bombs big time then the Malaysian government will be the major shareholder and a major, high-powered task force will be formed to investigate.

So! A Malaysian F1 racing team. And the Prime Minister says it will be based at the Sepang International Circuit.

“This is where the cars will be designed, manufactured and tested. It will be ‘Made-in-Malaysia, by Malaysians’ and of course, the pit-stops will be run by Malay-sians,” he said.
(now, I'm sure you noticed that hyphen in the word Malaysian. Believe me it was written like that in online Star. In the street version the word comes at the end of the column space so the hyphen. Tsk tsk tsk...LOL...)

And this is where I am becoming even more sceptical. Remember, one of the the major partners is a car manufacturing company that is more famous for its power-windows that don't work after a week and gear sticks that come off the floor before the first scheduled service. Proton can't even instill confidence in Malaysian car buyers. How is it going to build an F1 racing car that would even get off the grid? Unless of course it is again WE PAY THE MONEY AND THEN GET THE FOREIGNERS TO DO THE JOB AND WE LATER CLAIM THE CREDIT LOR rule that applies here.

Najib also said, "This is a meaningful development and I hope that it will further raise our country’s profile on the world stage."

There are cheaper ways of getting ourselves on the world stage as you call it. Right? If you need pointers just speak to that Syariah judge from Pahang or the Section 23 cow-head protestors from Shah Alam. I'm sure they've got some more great ideas to share.

Actually, our prime ministers all seem to have some grandoise ideas. At least 1 during their reign...I mean term. Mahathir did the Twin Towers, Putrajaya, Multi-media Super Corridor etc. Badawi had his Angkasawan space tourist so now Najib gets a quick start off the block with the Malaysian F1 Team. Let's hope that 5 years down the road we don't suddenly realise that the "F" there stood for FUCK-UP.

NIAMAH!!!

MALAYSIA!!!


HAPPY 46TH BIRTHDAY, MALAYSIA!!!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

The thinking car for the brain-dead Malaysian


Today, there is a full-paged, full-colour advertisement in the newspapers for the Proton Exora, Proton's debut entry into the MPV market. Nothing too exciting about that. Except, the headline for the advertisement caught my eye and frankly, stopped me dead in my tracks. Kudos to the copywriter who dreamed it up.

IT THINKS. SO YOU DON' T HAVE TO.

Now Malaysians have a car that does the thinking for them. Wah! Good or what?! Not that we ever did much thinking when driving anyway la. Road safety campaign keeps reminding us to THINK. The national car maker gives us a car that makes our thinking redundant. How la like dat?

So now, as Malaysians we don't even have to think when we are driving. One day soon we shall stop thinking altogether. Then 'their' job would be successfully completed. Anybody really sure the year is 2009 and not 1984?

NIAMAH!!!

This fler thick-skinned or thick-skulled?

Hahahahahaha.......sometimes I just kill myself! I'm GOOD!

Ever since the MIC fler suggested presenting Mahathir with a garland of slippers all sorts of hot air has been blown from different kettles.

How can?

Don't insult elder statesmen!

Respect other people's sensitivities.


Okay, so as Malaysians we are all used to this kind of soap-boxing every so often. But sometimes it does get to be a bit irritating la. Especially when you hear things like.......

"If we want others to respect us, then we must accord respect to others"


Words of wisdom, right? Except that it came from the same fler who defended the cow-head demonstrators of Shah Alam recently. Yes, Hishammuddin Hussein strikes again!

In response to the offer of the garland of slippers to Dr. Mahathir (who probably just chuckled im mild amusement when he read of the offer) our Hishammuddin said, "............We must never forget our values and culture of respecting others. If we want others to respect us, then we must accord respect to others."

Excuse me. I think I'm going to puke now....

NIAMAH!!!

Please also read Power, politicians and brutality by Dr. Farish Noor.

How not to make a video 101

Rosmah: TRUSSSSSSSSSSST ME!

Aiyoh! I just discovered that Rosmah Mansor has a video on her website which is a clear lesson to anyone who wants to learn how not to make a video to convince viewers that you are a truthful, sincere, generous and big-hearted person. All of which Rosmah might indeed be. Just that the video portrays her as the total opposite. Go have a look HERE.

Niamah!!!

Konfrontasi Part II?

Actually kawan, no need to fight. Just re-call all Indon labour and WE're fucked! BIG TIME!!!

The Singapore Straits Times reported that anti-Malaysia sentiments show no signs of abatement in Indonesia. One group even claimed that about 500 volunteers were willing to go to war with Malaysia.

Okay......but I am sure that given time things will cool down and we'll become good neighbours again.

But..................

What do you think one Malaysian Syariah Court judge's contribution to bilateral relations is?

Judge Abdul Rahman Mohd Yunos has sentenced an Indonesian man, Nazarudin Kamaruddin to be caned for drinking alcohol.

Some quarters will say Oi! What must be done must be done!

Sure! If you say so. But what lousy timing eh?

NIAMAH!!!

Yvonne Foong has been raising funds for the operations she needs to treat her neurofibromatosis which causes tumours to grow inside her body.

Yvonne had already lost her hearing and communicated through writing on a small white board. But now she's losing her eyesight and needs another operation again. The operation is due in December and once again she needs to raise funds for it. The cost of the surgery is USD44,000 (RM154,770) and the cost of her hospital stay for two weeks is USD915 or RM3219.

She has already raised RM10,000 of this but obviously still has a long way to go. She's hoping to raise the rest by republishing her book I'm Not Sick, Just A Little Bit Unwell in English and Chinese.The books are now available in Malaysian bookshops and from her website store. She is also selling T-shirts at bazaars and via her web site store. You can read about her surgery and donate to her fund here.

You can also help by sending on this meme. If you do, please follow these meme rules:

1. Create a blog entry titled "Meme: Save Yvonne's Sight"

2. List three things you love to see. Add in the picture of Yvonne's book cover. The URL is http://www.yvonnefoong.com/images/banner/my-story.jpg

3. End with the line, "Yvonne Foong is in danger of losing her eyesight thanks to neurofibromatosis (NF). Please find out how you can help her by visiting her blog at http://www.yvonnefoong.com.

4. Tag 5 blog friends. Be sure to copy the rules, OK?

5. If you have a Facebook account, please check out Ellen's new invention, a "feme" pronounced FEEM, a meme designed for Facebook here. And if you want to blog about NF, that would be great too!

The three things I love to see are:

1. My children's smiles when they wake me in the morning.

2. The sight of a brilliant full moon.

3. The sight of a innocent, joyful face.

I'm tagging the following blogger friends to ask them to help out:

1. Mamamin
2. Cuddly Family http://cuddlyfamily.wordpress.com/
3. Fireangel http://www.fireangelism.com/
4. Suanie http://www.suanie.net/
5. Lecram Sinun http://marcelnunis.com/blog/

Anyone else interested in passing on this meme is more than welcome to do so. I am sure Yvonne will much appreciate it!

Yvonne Foong is in danger of losing her eyesight to neurofibromatosis (NF). Please find out how you can help her by visiting her blog at http://www.yvonnefoong.com.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Can work what!

Lee Hsien Loong. Annual salary - S$3.9million


Najib Razak. Annual salary - about RM240,000 (about S$102,000)


For some time now I've entertained the thought that in Malaysia and other Asian countries some form of "corruption" or "benefits" can and do work. With positive results for both the receipients and the givers. No? Okay, look at this example.

Singapore's ministers are the best paid politicians in the world. The Singaporean prime minister receives an annual salary of S$3.9 million. Lee Hsien Loong's salary is more than the allocations to some of the island republic's social services like Hospice services which receive S$3.5 million annually. But nobody in Singapore complains. Okay la, so most of them dare not complain and the others just shrug and say "So?".

Malaysian ministers receive rather more down to earth pay packages. I think I read somewhere that our prime minister only receives about RM20,000 or less a month. And almost everybody in Malaysia is complaining. What the hell la!!!

So the Singapore PM takes home millions a year. Nobody there complains. Why? Everything works. The MRT is clean, comfy and efficiently affordable. Education system works. No traffic jams. Almost everybody can own their own homes. Etc. etc. etc. "Hiyah! Never mind la. Can make a good living lor. My children future okay lor."

So Malaysian ministers are paid peanuts (look I am not the one who completed that sentence ya?) but we still complain about them. Why? Because things don't work so well here. Highways crack, hillslope developments collapse, education system sucks......

So what am I saying? I say let our politicians take bribes. RASUAH. Take as much as you want to be on par with those Singaporean flers. But also make sure that the fler you award the contract to does a good job so that the Rakyat can enjoy first class facilities. That way, WIN-WIN ma! You can be rich without anyone raising any eyebrows. And we go on our merry ways out of your hair. Yes or not?

Huh? I think I better go back to sleep. It must be the medication causing this hallucination. Sorry ah.

NIAMAH!!!

Betterrer than you la

Okay since some of you actually asked....here is the comparison.......

The President of the United States of America

The US President's home and office


The Prime Minister of Malaysia

Remember, this is just the PM's OFFICE

NIAMAH!!!

For a limited time only

This video is linked here for a limited time only. It is part of 15Malaysia a short film project of 15 films made by 15 Malaysian filmmakers. The films deal with socio-political issues in Malaysia, they also feature some of the best-known faces in the country, including actors, musicians and top political leaders.

This film here titled, Healthy Paranoia features, among others, the Malaysian minister of Health, Liow Tiong Lai whom I am not entirely convinced knew what he'd let himself into. Anyway, I put the video here, for a limited period for just 1 simple reason.



I was very surprised, well shocked was closer to what I felt, at the size of the Yang Berhormat's office as shown in the film (I presume that being a small budget short film the producers would have used the YB's actual office instead of building or hiring a set).

It even looked a little bigger than the Oval Office used by the President of the USA!!!


And he is ONLY the Minister of Health! A long way down from the PM, the DPM, the Home Minister or even the Minister of Information. So you can imagine la. Now, somehow the fler's RM24million mansion doesn't seem so extravagant does it?

NIAMAH!!!

Friday, September 11, 2009

Let the show begin!!!

After months of dancing around the mulberry bush the MACC has finally announced that they are going to investigate 'matters related to the purchase of Khir Toyo's multi-million ringgit palatial home' reported to have cost RM24million. The MACC says that they have at least two independent evaluation reports with one estimating the mansion to be about RM5mil. 5 million eh? Wonder what the other valuation was? Oh by the way, the houses down the hill from us, built along a major, noisy highway and next to a cemetery are now selling for more than 1.5 million. And we have all seen photos of Khir Toyo's 'house'. 5 million???

The MACC was also expected to quiz Khir Toyo about the accounts of Balkis (Wives of Selangor State Assemblymen and MPs Charity and Welfare Organisation). Khir Toyo was alleged to have abused funds Balkis funds which his wife was heading.

Stuff like this of course needs to be investigated and wrongdoers brought to book. But I think most Malaysians are so tired of these "INVESTIGATIONS" that nobody is really placing much hope that anything that resembles justice will come out of it all. Sad isn't it? That's the Malaysia we have today. After 52 years of Merdeka.

But I guess for the next few weeks or months we shall have a show to watch and follow. Like a television soap opera. With twists and turns and cliff-hangers but with most of us knowing how the story will end anyway. And we know how we Malaysians love those, right?

Niamah!!!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

This is tragically Faarneeeeeeeeeee!!!

Whenever I discover good comedy or something really funny I feel it is my duty to share it with ....well with anybody game for a good laugh. Particularly our neighbours down south who these days are constantly finding us to be a never-ending source of comedy. So when I saw this photo in my friend Stephen's blog Shanghai Fish I knew I had to share it here. Take a look at this photo.


It is a photo of the Kuala Lumpur Courts Complexs or Kompleks Mahkamah Kuala Lumpur. Grand building yes? For sure. But some bright spark decided to hang those huge banners on those phallic columns.

The words scream out BUAT KERJA!!! Buat Kerja is Malay meaning Do Some Work or Get Back To Work.

I do not need to explain what sort of impression those banners give anyone who sees them, but who the f**k was responsible for something as stupid as this?

Niamah!!!

Times they are changing

Najib: The cabinet wants a full investigation!

The headline in The Star this morning read.....

Govt steps in

Cabinet forms task force to look into two aspects of PKFZ project

Normally, one would expect readers to go Phwaaa!!! When they read a headline like that. Positive action ma. And some more in the window headline there is, "The cabinet wants a full investigation" ....Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak.

But when I read the headline out loud to members of my staff in the reception area this morning, no less than 3 of them reacted spontaneously saying, "Aiyoh! Finish la like that. End of story!"

Of course 3 people do not make a credible survey but don't you think that is the general confidence level most Malaysians have in the government these days?

Niamah!!!

Misunderstanding

Come on! Is this the face of a criminal? Come on!

Former Umno vice president, Isa Samad claims that he is "not a criminal".

The former Negeri Sembilan mentri besar is being proposed by the Teluk Kemang Umno division to stand as candidate for the Bangan Pinang by-election coming up. Isa was suspended for 3 years by Umno for vote buying in 2004. Isa dismissed the suggestion that he would be a liability to Barisan Nasional if he is fielded in the Bagan Pinang by-election.

“In the opposition, even a former prisoner could contest,” Isa told a press conference in an apparent reference to Opposition Leader Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim, who was imprisoned for six years.

“I’m not a criminal,” he added.

NO, NO......Tan Sri! You got us all wrong.

We don't mean to put you in the same low class as that dis-barred lawyer up north. The fler was so stupid and tried to hide his sacking by the Bar Council. You are different, Tan Sri. You were not dis-barred nor were you imprisoned. You were just suspended what. Suspension only, right?

We don't mean for you NOT to contest in the by-election in Bagan Pinang. We WANT you to contest against whoever the other flers put up to run against you.

Go for it, Tan Sri. Show the baargers!!! Yes! If THEY can field a former prisoner for an election YOU can jolly well stand for this one too. YEAH!!!

Go for it, Tan Sri!

NIAMAH!!!

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

DAP Kafe


Hey! What do you know!!!? There is now a cool place to drink coffee, hang out and talk politics. And register to vote if you've not done so. It's called the Kafe Rocket United and is the first F&B outlet operated by a political party, the DAP!!! Phwaaa!!! This is damn innovative man. I'm going to check it out first chance I get.

I wonder if the police will arrest people who gather here? For illegal assembly, wrong colour wardrobe, or just drinking BLACK coffee?

Niamah!!!

Corruption 101

How to do business in Bolehland in 5 easy lessons...

(Caution: The following film contains adult elements and partial nudity. Viewer discretion is advised.)



NIAMAH!!!

Help the children

On Monday The Star highlighted the plight of Penan children in Sarawak. While their parents battle loggers and government over their homeland, the children just wished they had some good shoes and something to eat once in a while. Read the story...

Story and photo by STEPHEN THEN

KAPIT (Central Sarawak): Slippers and shoes are much needed by poor children living in remote pockets of Sarawak where such items are rare and expensive.

The Star, during a recent visit to three locations in the interior of Kapit Division, found the majority of toddlers and children without proper footwear.

Longhouses at the Lusong Laku, Long Tanyit and Long Lidem settlements are full of adults and children without shoes or slippers.

Barefooted and hungry: Penan children without footwear waiting for food aid to arrive at the Lusong Laku settlement in Kapit Division.

“We have no money to buy them,” said Johnson Maun, an eight-year-old boy.

The Star found only one sundry shop in Lusong Laku selling foodstuff and essential household items like soap and cooking utensils.

No slippers or shoes were available.

The shopowner said these items were expensive as the contractor who sent goods from Bintulu charged high prices to transport them.

Many children and toddlers suffer from skin problems on the soles of their feet due to being constantly barefooted.

The Miri Catholic Church is collecting donations for poor Penans in Kapit Division.

A lot of rice and foodstuff has been collected but no shoes or slippers.

Donors can take such items to Father Sylvester Ding at the Miri Carmelite Chapel or hand them to the Carmelite nuns for deployment to the needy children.

If you would like to help you can send donations to ......

Account holder : St Francis Centre Belaga

Bank : Maybank, Bintulu branch, Sarawak

Account No. : 011065307834


To think that something like this can happen in a country that still intends to declare itself "developed" in 11 years time!!! I wonder how the chief minister and all the other Y.B.'s feel as they slip their feet into their Italian-made Ferragamo's?


Niamah!!!



Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Go for it man!!!

Old politicians never die. They just come back with bigger money bags?

First the Umno flers chose a dis-barred lawyer as their candidate for the Permatang Pasir by-election (which they lost). Now for the Bagan Pinan by-election they want to field a candidate who was suspended by their own party in 2004 for vote buying!

Now as a Malaysian citizen I say....

GO FOR IT MAN!!!

Niamah!!!

Great....but.....

A new park for Ampang folks and a small Niamah!!! for today:-)

Once in a while Kuala Lumpur City Hall or DBKL if you want to call them by their more demonic name, does something with rate-payers' monies that is quite good. For example, they have taken an old disused mining pool in Ampang Hilir and turned it into the centre-piece of a public park! In this new park there is a jogging track. Which for some strange reason does NOT go all the way round the park. So you jog up to a point and then have to turn back and go the way you came. Maybe someone should raise this question in Parliament. There is also a community hall kind of building where there are badminton courts and other facilities I suppose, for rent. Exercise stations line the path along the lake. There is a children's playground. And of course the beautiful lake.

Great! But it wouldn't be DBKL if this story didn't have a bit BUT attached to it.

When I drove past the entrance this afternoon I noticed a big banner put up advertising the park office opening times. Meaning the times that you can go to book for use of the Dewan Serbaguna or Community Hall where the badminton courts and other facilities are located. The funny thing is that the opening times for this park's booking office is the same as the office hours of DBKL! Meaning that it is also the working hours of most Malaysian wage earners. Meaning that unless you're a) retired, b) unemployed, c) skiving from work, d) on holiday or e) a carefree Mat Rempit you have no chance in Hell of finding time to go book anything. Phone them up la, you say. Yes, there are NO phone numbers listed on the banner or anywhere at the park entrance.

But good la still. At least the residents of Ampang Hilir now have a nice park to use.

Niamah!!!

Monday, September 07, 2009

Okay la. Go ahead and cane.

Na...cam ni je. Tak sakit.

Apparently, the Home Minister, Hishammuddin Hussein has "cleared" the Prisons Department to cane Kartika Sari Dewi Shukarno, the part-time model who was caught drinking beer.

"Cleared"??? What the fuck does that mean? Oh wait, the YB goes on to explain...

He said that the prison department's director-general Datuk Zulkifli Omar and a woman officer came to his office last week to conduct a caning demonstration for him (I've had my suspicions about the YB's kinky-ness. Heh heh heh... - PT).

And how did they perform this demonstration for the YB?


“She tapped the back of a chair with the cane........... (don't you just love that statement? - PT)

......There was little force involved and it was not going to inflict pain, not even like the caning carried out in schools in those days."

Ah so!!! Don't we all feel better knowing that. Oh wait, Yang Berhormat qualifies further by saying....that although he was now satisfied that the department was able to conduct the caning, he still felt it had no experience to do so.

And so? What the fuck was all that rigmarole about then?

After all that, all I as a Malaysian citizen is convinced of is that our YB's full-time occupation is making a fool of himself.


NIAMAH!!!

Saturday, September 05, 2009

Puhleeeeeeeeeese!!!

Macam ni ke? Wah! Quite syiok osso.

Sometimes the smallest things piss me off. Does that happen to you too? Maybe it's an age thing la. Anyway, the above photo appeared on page N16 of The Star today. I wouldn't have paid any attention to it except for the unbelievable caption that the editors or sub-editors or whoever is responsible for these things tagged to the picture. The caption said that Hishammuddin Hussein was,

"........helping fishermen to build a shelter in Kampung Penarik."


Hiyoh!!! I know that the credibility of MSM is at an all-time low but do you have to dig these kind of holes for yourselves so often ah? I mean look at the photo. Look at the way he's dressed. Look at his shoes. Look at the grin on his face.

Hishammuddin may be.....

1. Trying his hand at some Terengganu children's game.
2. Experiencing, for the first time what it's like to hammer a nail into something other than a political enemy's 'coffin'.
3. Beating out a rhythm for the next Merdeka Day song.
4. Just posing for a publicity photograph.


Anything la. Except "......helping fishermen to build a shelter..."

NIAMAH!!!

One law for you and one for us.

No! For you all cannot. Why? I say cannot la.

A planned candlelight vigil at Dataran Merdeka today to protest the “cow’s head protest” is illegal and action will be taken against its participants, said the Inspector-General of Police, Tan Sri Musa Hassan.

“There is no need to hold any sort of demonstration. Why a need to unnecessarily flout the law?”

This must be one of the most incredible statements ever made by someone in authority in the light of recent developments in this country.

NIAMAH!!!

Ouch!!! I shot myself in the foot again!

Khir Toyo. This guy suggested that Hindu and Sikh temples be placed within an "enclave". You think he might have had a great future during the 3rd Reich?

And just when you thought that Hishammuddin Hussein had the last words on inappropriate utterances.............Khir Toyo steps right in to outdo even the master.

Khir Toyo who returned from Mecca yesterday, commented on the Shah Alam cow-head protest and said the Section 23 residents did not mean to insult Hindus by using a severed cow head, an animal which is sacred to their religion, during the protest. In other words, "Come on la all you Hindu flers. There was no insult meant to you all. We all know that the cow is sacred in your religion." And so.........he said.............

“There was no religious significance in bringing the head. The cow is a stupid creature and they wanted to point out that the state government was being stupid.” (the highlights are mine - PT)


Hiyoh! I don't know if I should laugh or cry la.

NIAMAH!!!

Friday, September 04, 2009

Laughable Quotes of the day

Ha tengok! Gambar I pun hitam-putih, black and white. Langsung no colour! Percaya la.

"......MACC is colour and politically-blind. We act based on complaints and evidence......."......Abu Kassim Mohd, Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission Deputy Chief Commissioner.

Right, Abu. No seriously, I think you might be absolutely right in what you're saying. But under the present circumstances, unless your MACC does some serious housekeeping and house re-decorating NOBODY is going to believe you.

"The bloggers made it seem that I fully supported the residents....".
....Hishammuddin Hussein, Malaysian Minister of Home Affairs.

The home minister was commenting on media reaction to his recent press conference to answer questions on the so-called cow-head protest in Section 13 Shah Alam. By the way, his comments, body language and tone of voice are very well documented on video here....



So, Y.B., I guess one thing you can't say is that anybody 'made' anything up.


NIAMAH!!!

Thursday, September 03, 2009

My national anthem, your love song. So?

And just when you thought that our national anthem was copied from an Indonesian love song.......it now turns out that in addition to the Indonesian Terang Bulan, there is a Hawaiian love song with exactly the same melody. Not that I care really. The NegaraKu will always be the national anthem of my country. The fact that to some other people it is a lovely song of romance just adds to it. So now, sit back and enjoy....





UPDATE

And now it turns out that we all, Malaysians, Indonesians and Hawaiians had better say merci beau coup to the French. Why? It seems like the controversial melody was actually an adaptation of “La Rosalie,” which was composed in the 19th century by Pierre-Jean de Beranger of France.

Oh wait...we have said thank you already. Remember? They paid a good commission and we bought their submarines. Merci!

Niamah!!! Hahahahaha......

What the F**K!!!

Dei Thamby, watch and think about what you say la.

I hope you're sitting down when you read this next bit because it will stagger you with incredulity. Or make you throw up your lunch...ready?

Quote from Zainuddin Mydin (Mr. We-have-erections-once-every-5-years former Malaysian minister of information)......

“Singapore sticks to a Third World democracy despite having a developed world mentality, while Malaysia has a Third World mentality but a developed world democracy.”
...The Straits Times.

NIAMAH!!!

Pure, unadulterated bovine manure

No lah. Diorang achah aje. Joking only. You give me a couple of days and I will say something completely different la. Boleh?

The animal manure that can be gathered from just ONE press conference by Hishamuddin Hussein can fertilise hectares of Malaysian soil. Just take a whiff of what was reported in The Malaysian Insider yesterday.

Headline: Hisham defends cow-head protestors

Quotes: "They felt victimised and feel that there is another valid explanation on their part. There was no intention on their part to cause racial divide."
Ah so...of course. That's why they organised a march with screaming banners and fiery speeches and shouted about majority and minority races.


"(they) didn’t even know that somebody was going to bring the head of the cow during that demonstration."
Ah so...of course. But since somebody brought it along it would not be polite to refuse the offering ya? Oh. while we're at it might as well stomp on it and spit on it as well.

"If I wanted to use the issue to create chaos in Selangor, I can but we didn’t take such actions"
Ah so...of course. You are an elected people's representative and a Yang Berhormat and so you can say silly things like this. You can create chaos but out of the kindness of your heart (not common sense mind you) you won't la. Ribuan terima kasih, YB.

"I have it in my records to show there were cases where a pig-head was used by irresponsible parties including leaving the head in front of an Umno building covered by an Umno flag"
Ah so...of course. Errr...there were cases ah? More than one ah? When? Where? Who? Tell us la so we can also kick their asses instead of just yours. Oh by the way, while you're at it also tell us how your people handled those cases. Were they as understanding as your goodself?

"If it can be resolved quickly and can be done with both sides understanding each other ... why would we want to penalise anybody?"


Ah so...of course. You are such a magnanimous minister. Your late father would have been proud. And I love the last part of your statement..."why would we want to penalise anybody?" Damn blaardy classic la.

NIAMAH!!!

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Why ah?

Ya, guys. I know what you're feeling. There ain't much to celebrate is there?

So many reasons or excuses have been given for the scaled down celebration events for this year's Merdeka Day. The H1N1 Flu pandemic, the holy month of Ramadan, poor economy etc. Okay.

But as I read about the little march-past on the grounds of Parliament House yesterday, the thought that comes to my mind is "Why have any 'public' celebration at all???"

Parliament House is out -of-bounds to all except the so-called VIP's and the YB's so most Malaysians aren't allowed in to witness or take part in the 'celebrations' and must watch it on television anyway. Looking at the photographs of the YB's and VIP's at the Merdeka Day 'patriotic' show yesterday I get the impression that Malaysia does not belong to the Rakyat but to the small group of VIP's gathered in the grounds of Parliament House yesterday. Don't you? While the rest of us remain outside Parliament House contemplating what is happening to our country recently, what with cow head protests, caning drinking models, deteriorating education system, flip-flopping elected people's representatives, rising fuel costs etc., the small group of Malaysians who are not affected at all by any of the above gathered to 'celebrate'. How ironic!!!

A small consolation is being able to see the VIP's all wearing black or dark blue which is reflective of this year's mood during this period of our history although I cannot believe that the VIP's even realised or cared that their wardrobe colour choice was quite significant.

NIAMAH!!!

Nuffnang