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Friday, December 31, 2010


Here's wishing everyone a 


May all your dreams come true and may 2011 be a happy, healthy, safe and prosperous year for all Malaysians.

Friday, December 24, 2010




Thursday, December 23, 2010


WHAT                THE                !!!!

Today's Star reported that the high-deck bus that crashed in Cameron Highlands and killed 27 people was illegally modified to carry more passengers.  The bus was originally designed to carry 19 but was modified to accommodate 40 passengers!!! The story says that the bus had a permit for only 19 passengers. Now, if I am not mistaken there was an earlier story that said that Puspakom had inspected and approved the bus about a month ago. I think it is the duty and responsibility of Puspakom to come out and tell us and the families of the victims what happened at that inspection.  Did they inspect and approve a 19-seater or 40-seater bus?  The story even goes further to say that the crashed bus had been inspected by Puspakom regularly since the bus was registered in 2007.  So what happened Puspakom?

Since 2003 there have been 122 people killed in bus accidents in Malaysia. And the reaction from the government is always the same. First express great shock and horror. Then point some fingers and look for scapegoats - badly maintained buses, poorly-skilled drivers etc. That will be followed by announcements of some study or other to be conducted by "independent panel of experts". This latest tragedy is no different. There will be another study. Okay. Fine. But first can we all know the results of all the other studies and what actions have been taken since? Please. Oh yes, and of course Chua Soi Lek has come out with a "holistic" approach to something or other. What the fuck that means I don't know. Do you? And Chua also suggested that buses install seat belts.  Ho-hum, Chua Soi Lek. That's old hat. Some other YB made that noise long before you. But you won't be the last one lah.

And in Selangor, Ronnie Liu has come out with the big announcement that using the 1Malaysia logo on advertisements in the state is NOT allowed. That's great Ronnie. But why only now? 1Malaysia was announced by Najib months ago and has been used to further the Barisan Nasional/Umno spin all over the country. Now suddenly banned in Selangor. That's a bit slow isn't it? I know, I know. There's just been way too much on your plate. Do I want to understand and sympathise? No.

One parting thought. Is 1Malaysia a Najib original? Motor-mouth, Nazri has released 2 letters that are supposed to prove that it is. One from APCO denying that it was ever involved in the creation of the concept and the other a sworn statement by a political consultant who claimed credit for the One Israel concept. As a Malaysian citizen I really don't give a fuck! Why is that so important? It doesn't matter to me who created it. It is still CRAP! Anyway, if a doubt has been cast about the involvement of APCO in Umno/BN spin doctoring do you think we're going to believe you just because you produced 2 letters from the same fuckers? Hiyoh!

This just received from a Niamah!!! visitor. I thought I might post it here in case some of you don't go to read the comments. Read it. Raises some interesting questions.

Nazri Abdul Aziz, have you got your facts right?

1) You put forward the motion to refer Anwar Ibrahim to the committee in April 2010.

2) The Apco letter, which had been used to justify Anwar's suspension, was dated Aug 19, 2010.

3) You (not the rights and privileges committee) received Robert Shrum's letter only last week, meaning, the committee had not yet received this letter when they recommended to suspend Anwar.

4) Now you are telling the world you have proof that Anwar lied.

It looks very obvious to me that when you moved in Parliament to refer Anwar to the committee these two 'documents', which you now refer to, were never in your hands at that time. So, four months before Apco's letter was received, you already decided Anwar was guilty.


Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Merry Christmas?

Hello everyone! My last post was on December 11 and since then I've been receiving all sorts of messages asking what's happened to me and how come the blog has not been updated.  The messages were quite amuisng.

"Oi! What happened lah, Patrick?"
"I think Patrick has lost his balls."
"Patrick deserves a good rest."
"Patrick is planning something big." 
(There's always the eternal optimist lurking around.)

And there are other more colourful ones that referred to my ancestry and all.  But I think I shall spare you those.

The truth is that I have been away in LaLa Land otherwise known as Singapore. No, I am not checking out emigration possibilities although that thought had crossed my mind. Thankfully, alcohol-induced stupor  doesn't last that long. And while I was in Singapore there was just no way of getting my hands on a hard copy of any Malaysian newspaper. I am not sure why but online versions just does not give me any inspiration (if it can be called that) to blog.  Anyway, so I am back in Bolehland and been reading the newspapers that I missed.  And I still don't have anything that I want to blog about. Ya, ya, ya...there's been lots in the news lately. Ranging from Parliament suspensions to the creation of a 3rd Force in Malaysian politics to the MACC dragging out some BIG-er fish to parade ahead of elections to Chief Ministers marrying women young enough to be their granddaughters.  Yes there has been much happening. But it is all SO DEPRESSING.

But luckily in today's news there were some rather good funnies.

I just read in The Malaysian Insider that Najib said that 1Malaysia was his own creation and not a carbon copy from another country. I supposed he was referring to allegations that he took the cue from the 1Israel campaign slogan.  Well, he's right. It is not a CARBON copy. Otherwise we'd have to change our country's name right? Like that also don't understand ah. Some more say I copy. Hummmph! The prime minister should learn to quit when he's ahead.  But he had to add, "The 1Malaysia concept was not copied from another country. It is my own creation. Other countries may have a one this and a one that but nowhere in the world is there a 1 Malaysia, People First, Performance Now".  I know he is trying to take ownership of the slogan but with that kind of argument?  Tsk...tsk...tsk...

At the same function Najib also had this great punchline..."We cannot afford to be spendthrift, we have to spend according to our capability. What is important is that the country's future is guaranteed under the present government." HUH???!!! Coming from the leader of the BN/Umno government?

In today's Star it was reported that Prime Minister Najib said that the government will strike a balance between meritocracy and social justice when rewarding students for outstanding academic achievements. I presume that he was referring to the awarding of scholarships and other financial assistance for deserving students.  He said that while rewarding students based on meritocracy was important it was also imperative not to sideline others who came from low income families and still achieved good results.  What's the big problem here?  It isn't rocket science what.  Scholarships should be based on academic achievements as well as family income levels. So if a millionaire's children achieve good academic results they should not be in line for government funds to further their education because the family can afford to fund it themselves. Simple. No?  So why is the PM making such a big deal? Dunno lah.

Our prime minister did add another great quotation to his list of hilarious utterings in today's Star. He said, "We should not be doing things to divide the nation. If we divide this nations, we will all be losers."  The question is, why is he telling this obvious fact to US? We know already lah, Yang Whatever. Tell your Umno flers lah.

In page N3 of The Star today there is a story that initially restored my faith in justice. Former senior immigration officer Yusuf Abu Bakar was sentenced to 56 years and fined RM620,000 for corruption. Wah! Finally, a BIG-er fish has been caught and charged and sentenced.  Wah! MACC means business now lah?  But when I read the story it was back to status quo.  The judge had ordered the fler's sentence to run concurrently. That meant that he serves no more than 6 years in jail. I guess he might even be out in less given good behaviour and whatever. Tell me the truth. Does that make you feel that things are finally going right? No.

But hey it's Christmas. The season to be jolly. The season to be sharing and giving. So there is a bit of good news from our Najib.  He's announced that the Federal Government is planning to make Penang the preferred economic hub of the region.  Just exactly how that translates into benefits for the rakyat he didn't say.  What? You expected him to?  Yes, there is a Santa Claus and he'll be leaving presents under your Christmas tree.

Merry Christmas.


Saturday, December 11, 2010

Operation Toy Story


The Annexe Gallery is helping Roddy Teo to collect toys for a visit to paediatrics ward of UMMC hospital this Christmas, to be placed on the kids' beds before they awake. 

Deadline: Sunday 19 Dec. Come look for a box that says "Operation Toy Story". 

If you too would like to visit the hospital (or maybe more), please contact Roddy:

Here is Roddy's personal message:

Hey hey! How are you doing?

I'm writing this note to ask for a little favour. You see, this Christmas, I won't be going back to KK, and I declined locum on that day ;o) so there will be some time for me to kill.

So this is what I'm thinking of doing, to visit some kids in the hospital and bringing them a little goody while they're asleep. The idea is to have them wake up to a surprise next to their pillows the next morning! No, this wouldn't be the first time I'm doing it, but this might be the first time you'll get involved! Now here's the exciting part. I will need some toys, those that are cluttered in your attics, those that are stashed away in your boxes. Or maybe those that are sitting at the foot of your bed and could be more glad to make other kids happy. The idea is to give them (the toys) another chance at love (sounds like ToyStory?)

We usually visit the wards where the kids are more sick, like the cancer ward, before distributing them to other wards. No one wants to spend this time of the year in the hospital, really. And saddest of all, this may be the last year for them too.

So how about that toys that you've been meaning to give away but never found an outlet to do so? Do give me a call, and I'll send my reindeer to come and collect from you ;o) or buzz me and we'll chat about what other things we can give to them.

Hope to hear from you soon ;o)

Specially for the Genting Group

Here's a great lunch and dinner deal for the management and staff of 

Friday, December 10, 2010

And the award goes to.........

The You-Got-To-Be-Shitting-Me award trophy

The how to keep a straight face award goes to Najib Razak for saying,

"We are not using the prosecution as a gimmick. How is it a sandiwara if he (Khir Toyo) has been charged?"

The PM was commenting on the charging of the ex-Menteri Besar of Selangor for land fraud. Full story here.

The Errr...I'm sorry I don't really know what I am talking about but I will say it anyway award goes to Deputy Prime Minister Muhyiddin Yassin for saying,

"The important thing is the rakyat benefits from the funds. If we channel it to the Menteri Besar (of Opposition-led Selangor), I wonder how he would spend it?"

The DPM was shooting down a request in Parliament that the Federal Government extend development funds to Opposition MP's as well as BN MP's. Full story here.

The award for ex-Prime Minister most out of touch with reality goes to Mahathir Mohd. for saying,

"We were very far behind in terms of engineering when we started producing Proton cars. But we have succeeded and we are still here after some very big names have gone bankrupt."

Dr. M was urging Proton vendors to supply components for the manufacture of hybrid and electric cars. Here.

Oh by the way, do Proton car power windows still fail after 1 month? No? But I still see most Proton drivers open their car doors to pay tolls instead of using the window. Why ah? Save battery issit?

And finally, the award for best screeching, smoking U-turn goes to Nazri Aziz for saying,

"I think Malaysians should always sangka baik (assume what is good first). We are multi-racial, so we cannot have the opposite."

Nazri was speaking in defense of rapper Namewee whom he said was just "grossly misunderstood". Story here. 

Nazri also added (when he should have quit while ahead) "I think he has potential. If we can help him, he will be able to become an artiste one day."

I wonder what Namewee thought of that last statement.

UPDATE 11 December, 2010

It had to happen and it did!!! Perkasa has accused the government of 'letting down the race' by giving rapper, Namewee "VIP" treatment in Parliament. Full Star story HERE

Have a good weekend.Publish Post


Wednesday, December 08, 2010

Register to vote. Now!

The next 13th General Elections are coming. 

The signs are there. 

Petrol prices have been raised. They are filling the war chests. 

Khir Toyo is being investigated by the MACC. The sideshows have begun. 

If the 13th General Elections are going to be called for March 2011 
then the last day to register as a voter is
December 15, 2010

There isn't much time. Register to vote now!

You can register to vote at any Malaysian 
post-office. Nation-wide.  

Do it soon. Before December 15, 2010.

A visitor to Niamah!!! just reminded me that it takes anywhere from 3 to 6 months to register a new voter!!! So if you register now you MIGHT just make it to vote if they call general elections in March 2011. Maybe.
Such is life in Malaysia. You can get a new passport in 1 day. But it takes 3-6 months to get registered as a voter. And apparently, if you want to change your voting address it will take about the same time too. Unless you're a member of the police or the armed forces. Then no problem! Can do instantly one. Could it be that all those votes go in the same box anyway? 


Wednesday, December 01, 2010

Wednesday mysteries

Horrors! They all love this lah!
Rais Yatim has admitted that horror movies are a favorite with TV audiences and that RTM has succumbed to the demand and aired 2 of those during the Hari Raya holidays. Of course, the YB with a PhD chose to call the movIes RTM broadcast not horror but  mystery-themed.  Well done, YB! I always knew you had some noodles between your ears. When I worked for RTM there was a rule, unwritten maybe but a rule nevertheless, that Sex, Violence and Horror were taboo on RTM airwaves.  I guess these days, like Rais says, the rule has bent because RTM had to "take into consideration the demand and good response from the audience."

Wah! Can we then have better English newsreaders on RTM2 with better wardrobe? Please?

Is it just my imagination or are the RapidKL buses rapidly descending into the typical low standards of Malaysian 'maintenance'? Over the past couple of weeks I've noticed that most RapidKL buses are dirty, have badly faded paintwork, peeling advertising panels...and I've seen a number of them broken down by the side of roads and highways and causing massive jams. And today The Star on page N12 headlines "Eye on Klang Valley buses".  Seems like they are going to make some attempts to monitor the buses and the system now. It's the typical Malaysian way of doing things. Close the barn doors after the horses have bolted.

So who said you're worth shit?

So are they supreme or are THEY supreme?  In The Star's continuing report today, on the interpretation of Ketuanan Melayu or Malay Supremacy by Nazri Aziz, the Minister in the Prime Minister's Department, he said it is about the status of Malay Rulers and not about racial supermacy.  Okay. Then he also said,"At the end of the day, the rakyat is not in complete control of the country......."

Huh? We are not ah?

Okay I shall leave you all to go figure that one out. I am going to get a stiff drink even though it is not officially Happy Hour.


Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Tuesday funny

Hiyah! Bukan gua supreme la. Diorang je? Bukan gua.

Good old motor-mouth Nazri Aziz can always be counted on for a laugh on days when other things aren't really worth a giggle.  I just read in The Malaysian Insider that the YB said Malay Supremacy has been wrongly interpreted which has caused all the unhappiness among more level-headed Malaysians. And in his usual colourful language Nazri said the people who were responsible for this had "cow dung in their brains".

Nazri goes on to explain that Malay Supremacy did not mean that Malays were more superior than other races and that the phrase was coined to protect the sovereignty of the Malay rulers. Really ah?  Thank you for explaining to us, YB. Now, I wish you would tell your other colleagues in Umno and the Barisan Nasional to clean out the cow dung in their brains. Can ah?

Great quotes from Nazri in the story today include:-

" is about the Malay Rulers. For as long as they are around, we respect them."

"How can we have a race more supreme than the others? It is ridiculous......"

"We are not a republic so there is no ketuanan rakyat. We have Rulers here and it’s about them that this Malay supremacy was created." (on Wan Azizah's speech at the PKR Congress)

and the ultimate punchline from Nazri today......

“Trouble about people is that they talk too much and they do not even know what they are talking about,”

Read the full story HERE


Monday, November 29, 2010

Monday funny

Read between the lines. Corruption is bad.

I was looking in the Monday papers for something to have a laugh at this morning and was almost going to give up until I turned to page M8 of The Star's Central Metro section.

Tuned to fight corruption 

The story goes on to say that the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission has launched an MACC jingle aimed at creating awareness on the evil of corruption.

Yes your eyes read correctly. An MACC jingle! And I know. You're asking WHO it is that needs more awareness of the evils of corruption? Us or THEM!

The MACC jingle is titled "Let's Make A Difference" and will be sung in English, Malay and Chinese. Personally, I can't wait to hear it on radio. When is it going to be aired? And the MIC should rejoice as Indians are obviously very aware of the evils of corruption.

Since its inception the MACC seems to be doing everything wrong doesn't it?  The public's perception of their effectiveness is not really very flattering to begin with and now they announce that one of their big efforts in the department is a musical jingle! Wow!

And of course, the chief commissioner cannot be outdone so he had the last word when he announced that the publicity was not to glorify the commission but to warn people that corruption was wrong and they would be punished for it. I think the average Malaysian will only glorify the MACC if he manages to grow another head without discounted plastic surgery. Corruption is wrong?  Oh really? No wor. WE didn't know that.

Thank you for the music. The song  you're singing. Now do your job instead of whining...(to the tune of Abba's song)


Sunday, November 28, 2010

What I learned today. Sunday

For some reason I didn't read the newspapers yesterday. But I picked it up this morning and I am glad that I did because I made an important discovery.

If you have to be sick you better do it now because in years to come the doctors in our hospitals may not know a stethoscope from a badminton racket.

According to reports there is an oversupply of medical housemen or doctors in training. So much so that the specialist consultants charged with training these future doctors feel that they (the teachers) cannot cope. Hospital KL's senior consultant physician Dr. S. Jayaindran said each specialist was supervising 4 times as many housemen compared to a decade ago. He also said the interns were seeing fewer patients and therefore had fewer opportunities to carry out adequate procedures. And some lacked responsibility towards their patients and did not know how to give an accurate diagnosis.

One of the reasons given for this oversupply of trainee doctors is that there are more and more medical schools opening up locally. (And we know that it is the secret wish of every Malaysian mom and dad that at least one of their children becomes a doctor.)

And as usual the knee-jerk reaction from the government was announced by the Health Minister Liow Tiong Lai when he quickly announced that the government would build more teaching hospitals and import more foreign consultants to alleviate the problem. He also said that steps have been taken to make training compulsory for 2 years instead of the current 1. I guess there will be some collateral damage. But never mind la. Ministers and such can always get medical treatment overseas. Right?

And he has such soft hands too

Last evening I received a tweet from @MukhrizMahathir which said "Anwar is an outstanding human being, given by God to lead the people".  I couldn't close my jaws for 30 seconds after I read that. That's a bit much isn't it? Given by God to lead the people???!!! I know being a loyal, devoted wife Wan Azizah is deservedly proud of her husband's 'achievements'. But to come out with a statement like that in a party congress and to be reported by all the opposition-owned media?  That is not being very clever. No? I checked with some people from PKR and they said "No lah!"

And I got a copy of the PKR President's speech.  What Wan Azizah actually said was, "......Saudara Anwar Ibrahim adalah seorang insan hebat yang memang dianugerahkan Tuhan untuk kita semua untuk menjadi pemimpin rakyat."

Any better than the English translation? I don't think so. And so The Sunday Star today carried the usual photos of smiling Najib and Rosmah and also had a photo of the loving husband and wife team of Anwar and Azizah with the headline "Anwar a 'god-sent' leader, declares Wan Azizah".

All of a sudden I feel that the Umno-led Barisan Nasional have tighten their grip on Putrajaya. They certainly do have a much better spin-doctoring machine.


Friday, November 26, 2010

Things I learned today. Today.

 Bull? No. Just bacteria.

They always say that we learn new things everyday so today was no different. What did I learn today?

1.      There are actually such creatures as Professional Online Gamers!  People who play computer games online for a living.  How do they get jobs like that? Sit at home all day and play games. And get paid enough to make it a career?

2.      The bottle of beefy goodness that I bought from the supermarket turns out to be 100% VEGETARIAN!!! I had always thought that BOVRIL was made from beef. Turns out I was wrong according to the Unilever label on the bottle.  100% vegetarian!!! When the fuck did Bovril become vegetarian??? Since I was a kid vegetarian meant Marmite. And Bovril was beef.  This is really traumatic for me. Another childhood memory becomes a shattered illusion. Could they have brought out a vegetarian variant? Why?

3.     The state of Selangor debuts its first English language newspaper today. It's called the Selangor Times. And it's free. I think. Anyone seen it?
What did you learn today?

p/s turns out I am the f**king idiot. I went to do a quick check on Wikipedia and discovered that Unilever in 2004 changed the composition of Bovril from a beef extract to a yeast extract! Unilever also claimed that in taste tests conducted 40% preferred the original and 50% the new taste. 10% didn't notice the difference!  

So, there you go. We learn something new everyday.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Things I learned today

I knew there was a reason why I still spend money buying MSM newspapers like The Star. (Well, I don't buy the NST because my maid says they weigh less when she sells them.)  Almost every single day in the newspapers I find world-class comedy or fantastic facts that I would otherwise miss.

For example today's front page of The Star announces that Sarawak Chief Minister Taib Mahmud has given the clearest hint yet that state elections will be held soon.  The CM said he had an inspiration on the date.  "I have my inspiration but I won't tell you when," he said. Wah! Terror or not? Taib had recently returned from a pilgrimage to Mecca. Maybe that had something to do with his uncanny power of foretelling the future.

Here's a quiz to test your general knowledge.

Which is the next Asian country to have a) a leaky parliament building, b) cracked highway over-passes, c) a public transport system with LRT's, MRT's and buslines that don't connect to each other d) collapsible stadiums, e) lots of empty very tall buildings? 

Answer:  Laos


The Star reported today that PM Najib announced that Malaysia has offered its expertise in the construction of infrastructure to Laos. Poor flers!

A funny story on page N3 of The Star says that the Negeri Sembilan JPJ chief has been transferred to Putrajaya following a probe my the MACC on charges of power abuse by his officers. I am sure this is something very uniquely Malaysian.  Some government official screws up and gets caught or is accused of doing something really bad.  What happens? He gets transferred! In the private sector he'd be suspended with no pay or his ass would be fired if allegations of wrongdoing were true. But the Kerajaan flers get transferred.  Why ah?

Now when you stuck in the Mid Valley/1Utama/Sg.Wang/Pavilion traffic jams and are cursing under your breath you can do so in the comforting thought that tourists shopping contributed RM15.1billion to the country's coffers last year and is set to increase to RM16billion in 2011.  Tourism minister, Ng Yen Yen is suitably proud of this fact when she also announced that from January 1, 2011 Malaysia is going to be a "duty-free" country where, except for cigars and cigarettes, liquor and imported cars everything else will be duty-free. With such announcements from the BN government being published in the MSM almost everyday how can the Opposition hope to win the next general elections?

And speaking of the Opposition, Anwar Ibrahim may be suspended from parliament for saying that the 1Malaysia concept may be linked One Israel. Apparently, Anwar was supposed to have misled (don't you love that word when applied to our YB's) the House by linking the 1Malaysia concept to the One Israel campaign.  Wah! Like that also grounds for suspension ah? Oh. Oh yeah I forgot Anwar is the Opposition mah.  Understand now.

There is this very funny report today about condominium Joint Management Bodies (JMB's) and disgruntled owners/residents.  Dep. Housing and Local Government Minister Lajim Ukin told the Dewan Rakyat that 10,640 complaints against JMB's were received by the ministry in 2009.

"We have forwarded the complaints to the respective JMB's for further action", he said. Huh?  I assume that residents/owners would have been fed up dealing the JMBs and therefore they brought their grouses to the ministry. No? So you send the complaints back there for what, YB? Very expensive to maintain your ministry to act as courier service isnit?

And finally, the Seremban court complex has been burglarised for the 2nd time in 3 months.  But the funny thing is that the report in The Star said that investigators could not ascertain whether the CCTV cameras at the complex were functional at the time of the burglary and that during the previous break-in the CCTV's were "under maintenance" (read NOT WORKING).  How convenient. Previously the preferred method used to be the reliable "pre-dawn blazes"


Wednesday, November 24, 2010

A day at Malaysian Immigration

When I asked around on Twitter and Facebook about the most efficient and most convenient Immigration office to renew my daughter's passport I got many suggestions. Shah Alam, Wangsa Maju, Subang Terminal 2, Damansara Heights...Thank you all for your suggestions.  But as Subang was the most convenient location from home (and I'd used them once before) I chose to drive there. With my 10 year-old daughter and 7 year-old son in tow. Mainly because he was bored at home and I was going to bring my iPad with me.  When I arrived at Terminal 2 the scene that confronted me confirmed my fears.  It was the school holidays and the place was packed!
There's 20 meters of counters and 10 of waiting space in front of them. Why?

Well, nobody's fault but my own for procrastinating. Surprisingly, we found a parking bay not too far away from what looked like a very dilapidated Terminal 2 building. You know the usual signs. Broken windows. Uncleared litter and garbage. Overgrown grass.  And floors that hadn't been cleaned since the last plane took off I think.  We walked past the make-shift canteen. And past a glassed-off area the size of a low-cost housing flat bedroom (read minuscule) which I discovered housed the passport renewal machines. I asked the pegawai standing guard at the door what I should do.

"Have 2 passport photos, your passport and IC and money ready."
No need for forms? 
"No need." I was impressed.

But of course I soon realised that my daughter did not have her passport photos ready. 

"No problem, Encik. You can take photos inside." Wah!

Inside meant the main hall. When we went there we were confronted by the sight of scores of sweaty men, women and screaming children. All there to apply or renew passports I presume.  There was an especially long queue which I eventually found out was the line for the photo-taking facility.

 4 passport-sized photos for RM10 + 45 minutes was a facility. It had one of those photo-taking machines that you find in archades and malls. You go in, sit down in front of a mirror, put in your coins, smile-FLASH-and you're done. But this photo-kiosk charged RM10 for 4 colour passport photos and was never meant to perform high volume photo reproductions. Hence the long queue which took 45 minutes from queue-up to photo-taking. This little example of entrepreneurial skill was manned by 2 rather disinterested silent, gentlemen who looked like off-duty pegawai from one government department or another. You know the type. I later found out that the photo-kiosk was operated by the cooperative of the Immigration Department. Good what. If only they'd see the potential and put in a little better maintenance or update the machine or even add additional equipment so the turnaround would be faster and more lucrative.

Halfway down the queue it occurred to me that I hadn't made it clear to the pegawai I asked that I was renewing my 10 year-old daughter's passport and not my own. So, leaving the young lady in the queue I went back to the machine room and asked again.

"Oh untuk budak ya? Then machine tak boleh. You go to counter #1, get a form, fill it up, make photocopy of your IC and photocopy of child's birth certificate and then submit at the counter."

Oh! So I go to Counter #1.

"Can have a borang please?"
I retreated to fill up the form. Brought it back to Counter #1
"Gambar mana?"

Oh must get gambar first. Back to standing in the photo queue. I go to get photocopies of my IC and my daughter's birth certificate.

 The ever-present A4 notice on the window

The photo-copying service was also operated by the guys who were taking the photos. Which also was one of the reasons why the photo queue was so long. There's just so much a man can do la!

Finally, after 45 minutes we got the passport photos and the photocopies.

Back to Counter #1 and was told to wait for my number to be called to submit the renewal application. Another hour later our number came up. Yay!  Rather short-lived joy. 

"Where's your wife?", asked the counter lady. Wah! That's nice I thought. Maybe she's one of MamaMin's customers.

"She's at home," I replied.

"Where is your wife? Because you cannot renew your daughter's passport. Only your wife can do. Because your case under section (she quoted some number)." 

I could feel my blood pressure rising. Stay calm.

"But I've spent almost half the day here only to be told that I cannot do this?  How can la, Cik?"

Well, okay I wasn't exactly that calm la. But I was not rude. Tell you why later.

"Cannot. Only your wife can do." 

"But why wasn't I told earlier so that I would not have wasted my time? Look, I am not angry with you ya Cik. It's just that your department's system sucks."

"If you like you can speak to my boss."

Yes I would like that very much. I was cleared through that magic door that separates the sweaty, screaming plebs from the powerful pegawai's. After waiting for less than a minute, some guy in civvies comes over, looked at my application, scrawls something on it, looks at me and says, "Ok?" and walks away. I don't know what his 'okay' was about although I detected a hint of resentment in his tone. Don't know why. I was nice what. Then the lesser pegawai ushers me through the magic door back into the sweaty masses.

"Okay, my boss say you can pay now but your wife has to come and collect the passport together with your daughter. Now you wait for your number then pay." 

And so we waited another half hour to be called to the payment counter. I paid the dues and got a receipt and was told that the passport will be ready for collection in 2 hours time. But what the lady didn't say was that the counter closes at 4.30 and the 2 hours meant the passport would be ready at 5pm. And so my wife will have to make a trip there tomorrow to get through the final phase of the Malaysian child passport renewal process. No wonder Malaysian passports are so valuable on the black market. It takes a lot of effort and time to make one.

What I want to say before I end this rant is that the officers of the Jabatan Imigresen in Terminal 2 that I met this day, except for the 'boss', were friendly, smiling and genuinely helpful. And I salute them for doing their jobs in that kind of environment.  The office air-conditioning system was not working.

 Hi-tech cooling system for the over-worked photo machine

It was dirty and badly maintained. Broken chairs, wet floors, peeling wallpaper, uncleared rubbish. And the department system sucks big time.

A big TERIMA KASIH to the counter staff of Jabatan Imigresen Terminal 2 Subang. 

I think you all should write a long letter to the minister of home affairs and tell him about your working conditions. He probably doesn't know and that's why he's spending time and money instead on catching people for sedition on the Internet. Tell him la that maybe if he helps you all improve your delivery system there might not be seditious writings on the Internet. Right?

Oh there is one more thing. Have you ever wondered why Malaysian government departments service counters are always designed width-wise? A long row of counters. But a very short waiting space in front of the counters.  All of them are like that. LCCT, Johor 2nd Link Immigration, Terminal 2 Immigration...

If you know a lot of people are going to be queuing you make lots of space in front of the counters, right? It's not rocket science what.


Saturday, November 20, 2010

Weekend funnies

I had almost given hope for something amusing before the weekend kicks in. Until I opened The Star today. In fact, no need to open already got funny. Right there on the front page. This photo was there...
 The Inspector-General getting some tips on gambling. All for training purposes only.

Now, if you read the story you will eventually find out that what the police 'say' they are doing is learning the skills to catch gamblers and cheats.  Now, that's all very good. But what I laughed about was the way the PDRM chose to go about publicising their strategy.  With their current public image I would imagine that the last thing the Inspector-General would do is to have photos of himself at a gambling table albeit a 'mock' one. Whatever the reasons given.  "To catch a thief we need to think like a thief," said the IGP, Ismail Omar.  I am sure that there were thousands of Malaysians who had a big laugh at that and might have even commented that the Malaysian police need no training in that area.  All I can say is that my heart bleeds for all the honest, hard-working and lowly paid Malaysian police personnel who must have cringed when their big boss said that.  But to be fair to the IGP when he was asked what kind of skills the policemen have acquired he replied, "That is confidential information. We do not want the enemy to know what we know." Yes of course.

And I must not forget to thank The Star's editors who have honed such a great sense of humour when coming up with photo captions for stories such as this......

"Full house: Policemen learning the various gambling games at the mini casino in the Cheras police college yesterday."

"Learning to gamble: Inspector-General Tan Sri Ismail Omar (front row centre) getting some tips on how to play a card game....."

When he was asked about abuse, the IGP smartly announced that he put his faith in his men. “Insya Allah (God willing), they will know their responsibilities and will not go against their badge,” he said.

Now to complete this great situation comedy I am waiting for JAKIM to come out with their take on this surely very HARAM practise of gambling.

What can we expect next from the IGP? Lessons on rape? Snatch theft? Mat Rempit motorcycle stunts?

 Na, here's your gold medal. Can you give me a house ah?

On another page of The Star today there is a less amusing but nevertheless laughable story.  The story is about Asian Games Gold medallist, Chai Fong Ying (pictured above). Chai won a Gold Medal for taijijian and taijiquan at the 16th Asian Games in Guangchou on Monday.  That is an achievement worthy of recognition for a Malaysian sportswoman. But that isn't what is laughable. What is quite amusing is that Chai actually said to the Malacca Chief Minister, Ali Rustam when she met him, "I will appreciate it very much if the state can reward me with a house."  I certainly hope that she meant it as a joke. Otherwise it will be a sad reflection of what levels we have sunk to as a nation.

Have a great weekend, folks!


Thursday, November 11, 2010

Funny but true.

A friend of mine sent me this article purported written by a Captain Iskandar Dzulkarnain. I think you'll get a kick out of reading it. Pass it on.

An anonymous visitor left this comment which is an interesting suggestion. Might work too :-)

What Captain Iskandar didn't say was Perkasa should ask that ALL non-Muslims in Malaysia should be settled, voluntarily or forcefully to the island of Penang and then have the Penang bridge dismantled and introduce special passports for anyone crossing to the mainland.

Hey, that would probably be the best win-win solution!

Penang, with several millions of kafirs, could be the next Singapore or Hong Kong. With land reclamation, Penang will be 10X its present size. It will have a continuous pool of the best brains and a GDP that can match Singapore or Hong Kong. Of course, Penang will welcome with open arms Muslims who do not subscribe to Perkasa or UMNO or Mahathir.

Perkasa, UMNO and Mahathir can rule the rest of Malaysia any way they like, if they can keep the migrating Indonesians from taking over eventually, and making Melayu a minority tribe.

Gee! Wouldn't that be great!

Subject: Realistically !!!! Ban Everything !
By Capt. Iskandar Dzulkarnain 
I am utterly dismayed that Islam, such a Great Religion, is being constantly ridiculed, not only by Non Muslims, but even by our younger generation of Malays. We keep on saying that we will protect the Good name of Islam with our lives, but we fail to see that our radical approach has smeared the good name of our Religion. Nowadays, Muslim does not even try to hold a topic over religion with our Non Muslim counterparts. We really have no rational answers as to why our Religion is so hypocritically abused by some half baked Malays.
Perkasa wants to have the Syariah laws amended to disallow Non Muslims to enter Mosques and Suraus. They also want the MCA president and the DAP assemblywoman to be placed under ISA for desecrating Islam. In fact, they want every Tom, Dick and Harry to go in. The video on Surau AL Falah is an eye opener to the amount of desecration tolerated. Sack the Surau committee and place them all, including the rest of the participants under ISA. Another picture apparently doctored, should be allowed the benefit of the doubt.
They should place their members at the National Mosque and Shah Alam Mosque to turn away the tourists. Dont just talk, start the action now. Forbid non Muslims to gaze at the mosque, just like we forbade them to utter GOD's name. And why stop there? Mosques and Suraus must be built with the sweat of Muslims and not with the sweat of foreign kafirs. At the same time put a 50 meter perimeter, around the mosques, so no non Muslims can get near the mosque. Anyone entering or leaving the mosque must show their identity cards to identify themselves as Muslims. 

Perkasa should also call for Shops and Restaurants to close during the month of Ramadan, and open at the Break of Fast. Muslims are still not strong enough to withstand hunger and will be tempted, if they see the sight of food, according to Perkasa.  

Perkasa should also call for all Pubs and Alcohol and Cigarettes to be banned as it harmful to our bodies and therefore considered Haram. Ban non Muslims from the homes of Muslims as well. While at it, All Muslims should be separated from non Muslims at the workplace, as Kafirs cannot work together with the righteous. Even better, segregate all the communities, kampongs and towns so that Muslims cannot stay together with the nons. Ban the community from celebrating our festivals together.
Kick out Astro cable TV as we have too many channels of shit to choose from. Go back to TV1, TV2 and TV3. Ban the internet, as it is a western tool to confuse the Muslims. Ban the cinema and all forms of Western entertainment like in Iran. Ban women altogether from public life. Ban women from driving. Ban cell phones, ban cosmetics as we are not going to see their faces anyway. Ban women from sitting in cars and motorbikes due to close proximity. In fact just ban cars and reintroduce horses and camels. Better for the environment anyway.  

We Malays love our Non Muslim brothers and sisters. Your presence in this country is a blessing. We feel sorry for making you feel sidelined. Somehow, some of our leaders think we should not mix. They think if we mix, we would be wrongly influenced to vote for the wrong party.  

We are supposed to be weak morally and religiously, easily influenced by the devil, our spines are still weak, and we need constant assistance, which only our government can give us. They always say, please be patient, and wait for the scraps to fall from the table. Sometimes, when the wind blows, the scraps do fall. They keep reassuring us to be satisfied with our meagre incomes, and to be happy with one meal a day. They say when you go to heaven, there will be a big feast. They tell us to protect Islam, these same leaders who are overweight and bulging. And after all these years, I still do not see the invisible enemy out there trying to destroy Islam and our way of life. As if I really have a life worth living!  

Perkasa must have been fighting very hard alone in the last half century to keep the enemy at bay. 

Lastly, the disparity with the Malays seem so huge from billionaires to abject poverty. This is such a big contrast between the non Malays that seem to have a majority of middle income earners. I scream at the thought of our younger Malay generation, so ill equipped to face the world, so inadequate to accept the simple challenges of employment in the private sector, and so stubborn not to accept that we are now in the 21st century. 

The Non Malays seem so at home, with their conventional attitude and command of language, and most of them are bi and trilingual. Is that why Perkasa seems so adamant at protecting us from sinking further? Even their leaders seem to fall into this category. 

So if our leaders feel that, in order for this country to progress, we must keep protecting our Racial and Religious Rights, we should in fact then ban everything and call it a day. Better go to heaven today as saints before it is too late, don't make a U turn and don't pay RM200. If we continue to stay on this earth and commit more sins unconsciously, we may lose our Right to enter heaven. Simply too many Satans around, for us weak sinners are easily tempted.  

With PERKASA's ideology, we don't really need 1Malaysia and we don't really need to exist. It is really up to us now to make the ultimate decision. Either we go or our leaders must go.

Perkasa, Mamak Mahathir (The pseudo Malay) and UMNO, you are the cause of the failure of the Malay race. You threatened your own race by belittling them. Gave rotten education that retard their thinking ability so that you can control them and manipulate them, for your own self interest. The other races in Malaysia are no threat to the Malays.

So please: All Hail the Chosen One!

Another first-hand account by an unpatriotic non-Malay Malaysian 

This is really NIAMAH!!! lah.

 I did not say their spirit of patriotism was not strong enough. 
I said ... actually I don't know what I said. I'm a politician you see.

Yesterday we all read that Defense Minister Ahmad Zahid Hamidi alleged that the non-Malays' "spirit of patriotism" was not high enough.  He said that in relation to the low level of recruitment of non-Malays into the armed forces. Of course the shit hit the fan. All the right noises were made by the other YB's. The phrase, "I was saddened" was used by more than one YB on both sides of the fence in expressing shock and disbelief that a serving minister during these times should have made a sweeping statement like that.
Actually, if the YB's had meant what they said they would have used "We are pissed-off with you Ahmad Zahid Hamidi!" Hello, don't tell me that YB's don't use that kind  of language because they have done worse in Parliament!

I am saddened!  What the fuck does that mean?

Other less-vocal Malaysians just shook their heads in disbelief and noted another point to consider when voting in the next GE.

And as expected in today's newspapers there was a claim by the minister that he said no such thing. Strange that the phrase, "I was misquoted" wasn't used.

What the media reported yesterday was Zahid saying that one of the possible reasons for the low intake of non-Malays in the Malaysian Armed Forces (ATM) is that their patriotism is not strong enough.

Today, this forked-tongued minister countered by saying, "What I had said was that it was possible that it could be due to several factors, including the sense of patriotism that is not strong enough." 


Well, pardon us all over the place, Yang Bodoh! Would you care to explain to those of us less used to political-speak what the fuck difference that is?

Another first hand account by an un-patriotic non-Malay Malaysian HERE


Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Just a couple of random rants la. Reader discretion advised.

I have a couple of stories to share with you.  The first is about the news article in The Sun today which said that general practitioners, the neighbourhood doctors, are earning much less money than they used to.  When a good GP used to see up to 150 patients a day the average these days was more likely to be about 20 says the report. The report suggested that patients are availing themselves to the affordable private healthcare facilities around the country.  Affordable???!!! Not when private health-care is owned and operated by businesses and businessmen who demand increased profits year after year!  Yesterday I went to a private hospital for a procedure which cost me RM2,400++. I had the same procedure done in the same hospital by the same doctor (who charged me the same price) for RM1,200++ in 2007!

What's that got to do with the story about general practioners?  Errr...nothing. I just wanted to rant. Can ah?

I am sure that you must have read in the papers today that the Malaysian police flers are on some sort of campaign to 'soften' their image. So that the next time a mata-mata approaches a person that person will not think that he/she has done something wrong and is to be summoned or have anything to 'selesai' (settle).  I think that is a grand idea.  And yesterday I had a small taste of that campaign working. I was at the Mutiara Damansara Balai Polis to lodge a report. On entering the gate of the balai I was met by a Sgt. Rahim with a genuine, broad smile. We exchanged pleasantries. And when I asked about his day and if he was busy he replied that he was out on the beat to "meet" people and make sure that his personnel was doing their bit to improve the image of the PDRM.  Wah!!! I was pleasantly impressed.

I went into the balai, made my report and then.....she gave me a half-smudged copy of the report with all the important details illegible. What?! Sorry boss, 'toner habis' (toner finished). Then? But encik can go to any police station and buy (yes, you have to to pay RM2) a copy. Okay, I thought since I have to go to the commercial crimes division to lodge another report (on the same case because I was informed by Mutiara Damansara that what I was reporting would also involve the Commercial Crimes Div who must investigate the case) I could get a copy there.  So I drive across town to the Commercial Crimes Div which is in Jalan Yong Shook Lin, made my report to an Inspector. When I asked if I could get a copy of the report I'd made at Mutiara Damansara she made one for me.  But then informed me that the copy she'd given me would not be valid for an insurance claim for which I had to get a certified copy of the Mutiara Damansara report. But she added that I could buy one for RM2 from the main PJ Police Station almost right next door. And so I drive over there, parked illegally on the road, went to the counter to buy the report, waited about 3 minutes and then was told that the counter was CLOSED until 2 pm. It was 12.55 pm.

Never mind, I had something to do in Kota Damansara and there was a balai polis there. So after my errands I went to the balai to buy my copy of the report (remember, the original police person told me that I can get one from ANY balai polis). The flers in the Kota Damansara balai stared and said, "That one is those blue uniform flers. Kami sini Trafik la."  So no report.  Never mind. I will go back to the MAIN police station in PJ there. Sure can on. Main one ma. So I negotiate traffic back from Kota Damansara to PJ State. Illegally parked on the road. Went to the counter on the 1st floor. FUCK!!! Closed. They close at 3pm. Lunch from 1-2pm then close at 3pm???!!!

So I guess the PDRM have more to achieve before we, the public will change our perception about their image and intentions in a hurry. Sorry la.



I guess by now a lot of you will have already read about this latest foot-in-mouth episode courtesy of one of our YB's. But imagine my shock early this morning when I came across the article in The Sun.

The Defense Minister, Ahmad Zahid Hamidi announced that one of the possible reasons for the low intake of non-Malays in the armed forces is that their "patriotism spirit is not high enough"!!!

Aiyuh! Brudder how can you say like dat?

Now, how the YB arrived at that conclusion is anybody's guess. But then he is a YB so he has his inspirations la.

Patriotism spirit not high enough. I think the YB should now explain to all Malaysians, Malays and non-Malays, what his or the BN government's idea of a high-enough patriotism spirit is. Is it to die in battle in defense of the country? Well, there isn't the Communist terrorists threat anymore. Sukarno is long dead. Thailand is still trying to decide if they want to wear red or yellow at the next parade. Singapore is too busy being the world' most s successful country. So I guess the chances of having to lay down ones life in defense of the country from external military forces is remote at best. No? So it is certainly not that the non-Malays lack balls to join the armed forces. Then the YB also said that it could be due to lack of encouragement from family members. Baarger! These YB's always find a way of blaming the parents, don't they? Okay. Maybe it is true. YB, let me ask you this. As a parent, would you encourage your children to take up what you know are dead end jobs? Huh? Would you?

Perhaps one day when the non-Malays bleed 30% less blood when shot in battle the YB's will see an uptrend in recruitment of non-Malays in the armed forces.  Hahahaha...sorry.