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Thursday, January 14, 2010

Fantastic Facts and Funnies

The Star reported yesterday that "......Police have determined the “physical attributes” of the suspects involved in the arson attack on a church in Desa Melawati last Friday..."

And the Deputy Inspector-General of Police Tan Sri Ismail Omar also was quoted as saying......

“We have some development but we cannot say much as it would disrupt our investigations. We are working hard to find the suspects and we are checking if they were involved in the other church attacks.”

Which prompted one of my friends to say....

"physical attributes"?

What? 2 arms, 2 legs, 1 head per perpetrator?

"We have some development but we cannot say much"?

In other words, 'we' have bugger all.


I read in page N16 of the Star today this headline,

Five royals on honours list

Negri Ruler's sisters to get state's highest award in conjunction with 62nd birthday.

The Yang di-Pertuan Besar of Negri Sembilan bestowed the state's highest award on his three sisters. Very good. Nothing wrong with that. I suppose. But if the reasons why they were bestowed the awards were also reported it might have stopped me from sniggering. And that goes for the names on the entire list of receipients of Tuanku's gratitude and generousity on his first official birthday. Otherwise stories like these just serve to irritate ordinary Malaysians like me and is a waste of space. No?



Anonymous said...

No pat, you got it RIGHT.

Anonymous said...

You deserve a datukship!
Datuk Seri Patrick Teoh, now doesn't that sound nice?
After all, lesser mortals with dubious qualifications have gotten these awards, why shouldn't you be one of them!
Get one from the Sultan of Perak, your home state. That would be a fitting tribute, don't you think?
Good Luck!

Anonymous said...

Hi Pat,

Can you see the COMMON MENTALITY of the PDRM with the Yang di-Pertuan Besar of Negeri Sembilan???

It's either their MENTALITY is too high for anyone of us to understand or is that their MENTALITY is too low for us NOT too laugh at their statements.

Anonymous said...

Funny 1# Physical attributes.Make sure no tails!
Funny 2# Abang adek,brother!
Kan Nah Sai....

michael said...

Hi Uncle Teoh.

There is no intrigue why his sisters were honoured in DYMM Yamtuan's first official birthday in N9. He is just restoring many of the rights, honours and duties which his family, the DYMM Tuanku Munawir line, rightfully deserved after he was sidelined at the passing of his father when he was 19.

Anonymous said...

Ismail Omar told Channel News Asia that the 'physical attribute' is a scar on the face.

Wonder why the malaysian press cannot be more specific.

ernie chen said...


I pay no attention to the 'local awards' since Ah Long also can get one.

There is a price for anything in Bolehland.

Anonymous said...

Recently I found the police high-ranked officer,the IGP and now the Deputy IGP are subject to ridicules on what they hv spoken to the press.Why is that so? Is it bcos of their quality of leadership or personal attributes ?

Anonymous said...

Cant you all see through all this ..... the polis is soon going to display a person, purportedly the one who did the church burnings ....... [actually a polis lock-up inmate who has been tortured maximum) ...... and next week, the polis might start burning mosques and then display a different non-Muslim inmate, purportedly the arsonist.

[by the way have you heard that the police is now trying to solve the crimes by using the internet]

Anonymous said...

hey, don't rub my tamtuan, ok? the fact that he could not find worthy recipients except his sisters and two others just show how strict the selection process is in NS this year. watch out the next list in jan 2011.

Anton said...

So true Pat, reading the newpaper this morn had me thinking of the "real worth" of the awards being bestowed to relatives and friends. Well, at least their names are more "fragrant now, and not only a Raja or Tengku.

Ho ho ho said...

Another bumbung runtuh case in Terengganu Darul Bumbung Runtuh in yesterday's Star

adnan sempit said...

Datuk Seri Hishammuddin Hussein has said the situation was under control and the attacks were isolated incidents.How stupid does Hishamudin thinks Malaysians are,8 Churches and a Sikh Temple vandalized,and he blatantly says it's only isolated cases and under control?

Anonymous said...


Surf the internet to catch crooks.
That's the way to do it...!

They are all there !!!

wandererAUS said...

Pat, it takes all kinds to make this world....otherwise, the old saying will have no merit, "Variety is the spice of life" ...remove the funnies, Bolehland will be a dull country!!

Anonymous said...


I have just read your piece of Teohlogy on the Jan issue of Off The Edge magazine. Seems like more events took place after the article - you failed to predict?

Anyway the term you use to describe 1malaysia 'Utopian' is the best I have seen.

As you said, 2010 will see more barang naik, including th eprice of Off The Edge. I guess I cannot afford one after CNY. Would you post your article online from next month?

Tiger WooHoo said...

Calling all Chinese Malaysians

Please support the local CNY chinese movie "Tiger-WooHoo" by watching it in the cinema.

Remember the production team did not get any grant from FINAS.

Happy New Year!


Straight As said...

DAP’s Lim Kit Siang today urged Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin to address the problem of the country’s brain drain at an early stage, citing the high number of top scholars being enticed to go across the Causeway — as exemplified by the case of a Malaysian being Singapore’s top O-Level student this year.

I think our government got no concern because our 'SPM factory' produces thousands of 10 straight As every year. No harm to give up some to Singapore, right?

Anonymous said...

Dear Patrick

After reading your "funnies", I think you have the talent to be the editor of the malaysian edition of the Mad Magazine.

We do indeed live in interesting times.

Anonymous said...

tausa lah cakap apa-apa ' brain drain
the issue on Allah created by the botak ex mentri sudah killing him man !

those with brain to study one , pls GO GO GO !!

Anonymous said...

The Gov cant be bothered abt the brain drain bcz it mostly involves "pendatang" / immigrants (i.e. non-Malays). They'd be delighted to know tht there are less non-Malays here so they can exercise their "ketuanan" / superiority over us.

Sigh…. Mayb I shd marry a Chinaman, since statistics show that the male:female ratio is so imbalanced.

Thn I wont hv to stay here to look at those monkeys making a fool of themselves, mocking the Constitution & judiciary system.


tweety said...


Polis now terror, joined FACEBOOK recently and now can catch one guy already.

Next time the pretty girl you befriend on Facebook may be Musa in disguise. Please be careful with your words.

Ha Ha!

ktteokt said...

Do you know what the Chinese meant with the proverb 肥水不留别人田?

mamasan said...

Meow Kitty

No need to migrate far, you can go to Singapore, plenty of job at Geylang, day or night.

Anonymous said...


Agreed fully with your Teohlogy observation.

Government should not have spent money on the 2 submarines. Who in ASEAN want to attack us? I don't think the pirates are that sophiticated for our navy to justify the submarine. Can ask Spore navy to tolong, right?

Instead of worrying about foreign threat (unless you consider the misguided missile launched from Noth Korea), the money should be spent to pay our polis better so that they do no succumb to the temptation of kopi while on duty. while keeping our street free from crime, right?

So thumbs down for government for getting the priority wrong (unless there is something like commission that I do not know).

Anonymous said...

Simple solution to resolve this "language" issue. Just educate the Christian Sabahans and Sarawakians how to read and write in English and make English as their common language instead of Bahasa Melayu or Bahasa Malaysia. Perhaps, without the knowledge of BM, they will surely have to use the word "God" in English to pray and even in their teaching materials. Is the BN governemnt willing to forgo BM for the English language as the medium of education for the natives of East Malaysian States?

If I don't know BM and I only speak and write English, of course, I will read the English version of all available Christian materials, which I believe the word "God" will always be there. Now, tell me how the confusion started??

Anonymous said...


Can't understand why you still waste your money on The Star.

Have you been blinded by the SingSSS you earn at mediacorp?

Anonymous said...

Why Muhyiddin go to UK to urge the return of the “best brains” while completely blind, unconcerned and insensitive to the loss of “best brains” to neighbouring Singapore or the 300,000 Malaysians who emigrated since last general election?

Anonymous said...

It amuses me when I read the about the language thing by Anonymous 8.35PM. I got one better for you. Since we the 'old farts' have been seasoned in both the Bahasa Inggeris and the Bahasa Malaysia errrr... sorry Bahasa MELAYU why don't we teach our children everything in ARABIC. That way all problem term, same meaning and best of all cannot dispute anymore!
My 5cents worth not much but still legal tender!

donplaypuks® said...

No, we have more than "bugger all"!!

We had Sodomy 1 and the everywhere stained mattress and discredited DNA experts.

Now for Sodomy 2, we have 2 "no penetration" medical reports and yet stained underwear!!

Sigh! No more "irrelevant and exponge it all" Augustine Paul or '1,2 KO' Rahim Noor. Lol!


We are all of 1 race, the Human Race

Anonymous said...

1Malaysia 2Bibles: If East Malaysia can have a different set of laws, then they are better off forming their own government. That way, there is no need to help make those corrupted West Malaysian politicians even richer with East Malaysia's resources. Without East Malaysian votes, it's the end for BN.

kar said...
good to watch this too. ;-)

Anonymous said...


Physical attributes of the 1PIG (Police Inspector General) Musa: Human being physical features with a pea size brain. Now we know why he is 1PIG.

Anonymous said...

U r so well informed.
Do u work as an agent in Geylang?
So, u r advertising here to recruit new members for u to pimp is it?