Google AdSense

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Fantastic Facts and Funnies

You want to play Internet? Ok. I change my mode already. Mari la!
Cakap orang putih! Ha!


A good friend of mine alerted me to this NST report about something that the Minister of Information, Rais Yatim said for inclusion as a Fantastic Fact and Funny.


At first I was just going to cut and paste the headline here and let you have a good laugh. But when I read the rest of my friend's accompanying email I thought that I would share it with you in its entirety. Although I have not yet gotten his permission but I am sure he won't mind. So here it is......

"We are not saying that they cannot use Facebook or Twitter but when using such facilities they must upkeep the values taught by Islam, Buddhism or Christianity to maintain our culture,"


Eh? he forgot a few. And since when was Christianity and Buddhism parts of "Malaysian, especially Muslim," culture?

"They are just selling Facebook, Twitter, L-Band and various other services, even through space, as a product but we do not do such business. We accept all this in a state of cultural shock"


what the fuck is he talking about? and besides, MOL yang beli MySpace tu milik siapa? Vincent Tan ni kafir Barat ke? Kena shift gear lagi la rais.

"Newspapers are still relevant, so is Facebook, but do not be carried away with everything and disregard the old system"

HAHAHAHA. Carried away. With "everything". In case you wonder why I laugh, see next para, to wit:

"As a former analyze of the law in the country, I wish to advise the people that they cannot escape from the law for their actions."


What the fuck is an analyze of the law in the country? Cannot escape from the law? Tangkap la org baling molotov koktail/cat merah/batu/botol kat gereja2, surau2 dan gurdwara sentul. tangkap la mamat yang letup altantuuya. "Newspapers are still relevant"? hah shift gear lagi skali. Aiya enough la. i wanna vomit. oh yes, if he found that 62 per cent of msians understand the 1malaysia concept, then i must be a 38 percenter. i should make a jacket, like the illegal motorcycle gangs in the US, so I can better assist myself in not escaping the law of which Rais is such a brilliant analyze.

Okay, now if you're one of the 38%-ters, take a deep breath in and say out loud...............

NIAMAH!!!

39 comments:

Anonymous said...

This rais really like to say the darnest thing on earth! He is like still staying in the fifties..kampong mindset...That's y UMNO is racist....because they are still the old UMNO....hahaha...

Steven Seagal

Anonymous said...

Check with 100% of my friends and none bother to reply the 1 Malaysia questions. Hmmm wonder what rais number game is that constitutes Rais 63% ?

kingtut said...

NIAMAH!!!

Anonymous said...

Statement from a cloudy minded minister after spending overtime on the net. Tokking from experience what. Sound like someone have lost his culture. Getting accurate news and imfomations from Newspaper or the Net?. I chose the Net anytime over the controlled media spining lies after lies.

1 Patan

Anonymous said...

Dear Uncle Patrick,
Just a correction, MOL bought friendster, not myspace.

http://www.techcrunch.com/2009/12/09/malaysias-mol-global-to-buy-friendster/

Anonymous said...

Absolutely brilliant Rais!! Bravo

Anonymous said...

this rais is an idiot! Those who put him to power are also idiots!!!


gibuk

- junlem said...

I saw the post too. But the fler bought Friendster la, not MySpace. :D

Anonymous said...

Oh my, I vomited out all my food from breakfast, tks to yr article! 38% I belong to...sigh!

ktteokt said...

BRAINLESS TOIDI (inversed)!

k4kenny said...

I, K4Kenny, 100% belong to the 38%. 1Malaysia - what 1Malaysia??? We have 2Malaysia and 3Malaysia maaaaa. 2Malaysia is for Chinese and 3Malaysia is for Indian laaaaaa. Oh oh oh, 4Malaysia is for DLL (dan lain lain). Don't believe ar.....check Bolehland's any registration form lorrrrrr. Fcuk!

Julian Chan said...

....

...niiaaaAAAAHHHHHMMAAAAAHHH CHAAOOO HAIIIII!!!!

...How's that, Rais Yatim?!?!?1

FacebookRules! said...

Ok, from today onwards, I shall only read the mainstream government controlled newspaper NOT!

Anonymous said...

I am as clueless as you all are when i read it, i bet on my balls rais don't even use the internet much. Malaysia minister open mouth sure kena laugh one lah.

daniel said...

This is Maybank's take on Najib's 1Malaysia, when I went there yesterday to deposit a cheque:
"Sorry la boss, tak boleh terima cek. Computer offline."
"Ala..(oops cannot write the A word) cek ini urgent la. Cawangan mana yang berhampiran boleh ke?"
"Tak berguna la boss. Satu Malaysia, rosak, tak boleh guna"

Nick Phillips said...

rais yatim has always been one of the ministers I believe that is living in a bygone era!

Niaaaaammmmmmaaaaaahhhhhh! I'm one of the other 38%-ters.

Anonymous said...

I thought when people gets older they become wiser.
But not this case.
He has become a total idiot!
Why is he still where he is?
Just retire lah, we definitely won't miss him.
But then Patrick would have less things to niamah on.

Anonymous said...

aiyo2, analyse of the law? ini apa english? manglish?

oh, tak apa. ini orang pun tak percaya thesis sendiri. apa nak cakap lagi.

jangan cakap english, oi. alien lah.

ini quality dapat PHd, ha? Dari mana?

Wak Arjun said...

I am speechless. Gotta copy & paste Julian's. Thx Julian.

...niiaaaAAAAHHHHHMMAAAAAHHH CHAAOOO HAIIIII!!!!

Zeroed said...

NIAMAH!!!

ktteokt said...

Include me in the 38%!

ktteokt said...

Include me in the 38%!

Leithaisor said...

Rais strikes again! But not exactly surprising, eh? My impression of him is by far more negative than positive. Not exactly an asset by my book.

No doubt, we are all fallible human beings, each with our not-so-glorious side.

But this "I have changed my mode" Rais will (should?) certainly find it mighty hard to live with the permanent Net record of his haughty taunt.

Then again, I could be wrong. Perhaps there are those who consider such to be a worthy addition to one's resume.

NutzeyWagen said...

62% of 70,000 Malaysians polled in a survey might understood the concept of 1Malaysia. But the more pressing issue here is, how many of the 62% believe in it? (Get this right guys. NOT ALL Malaysians were polled in the survey.)

Anonymous said...

Let him change his mode, into a moron mode duh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Neva use de internet don talk kok lah!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Patrick!!!!
Shall we start a new campaign to wear a "38%" button badge? Much like the Bank employee's " I deserve 30% raise" compaign.

Cynthia said...

"We are all in a state of cultural shock ..." are you? Surely not ... the only shock you would experience is the next gobsmacker that spills out of those empty vessels!

budaya said...

Such a dinosaur can be a information minister and talk about ICT?

Facebook is now a social & communication tool for th eyoung people. Even the new mobile phones are equipped with Facebook facility.

Maybe he is lamenting the fact that people are now boycotting Utusan, NST, RTM and TV3. That's your problem for being racist, fanning racial sentiments and irrelevant.

I am sad for malaysia when a minister can talk rubbish can get away with it.

Anonymous said...

For the uninitiated, when you read too much NST, your mindset will become like that minister's otak that is confused of what is kebudayaan,

anak sabah said...

Failure to react to change will be the downfall of umno in the next GE.

Anonymous said...

Rais, please check you expiry date.

ignis fatuus said...

C'mon people, dun get apeshit over some food name. Isn't that 1malaysia the name of 30,000 biji apam.. something like that la..

Anonymous said...

i understand 1Malaysia to be a load of b*llocks!

ygbenor said...

you got this idea after consulting your wife ke. I believe, you only make decisions after consulting your wife only.No point lah you pegi UK did your PHD and come back worst than a nincompop!

restu said...

Rais should lead by example by abandoning western suit & tie, just wear baju melayu and sarung on his overseas trip.

Don't take aeroplane (invented by westerner), take a sampan to the country you are visiting.

Don;t use fork & spoon when you dine with foreign diplomats, use you hand to feed your mouth according to your adat.

Anonymous said...

Ha ha.

Just imagine Rais kayuh sampan in baju melayu/sarung to USA!!!

USA = Ulu Selangor Area!!!

Cynthia said...

APCO, a respected international communications and public affairs consultancy has been appointed by the Malaysian government to "ensure that it is able to provide information to the public quickly and transparently, making use of all relevant new technologies." Aiyah - how come nobody told RY about this remit?

Anonymous said...

btw, 4 ur info pat, itu Vincent Tan of MOl beli Friendster not Myspace...

ktteokt said...

Where's Yatim's BIRD? His pose looks like he was releasing a bird just like people do during opening ceremonies where pigeons were released! So, did Yatim just released his "BIRD"?

Nuffnang