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Niamah!!! Chinese version YorMarder!!! http://niamahinchinese.blogspot.com/

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Fantastic Facts and Funnies

Don't worry. No pain one and will make you better.

Some funnies from today's edition of The Malaysian Insider...

3 women were caned recently under Syariah laws on charges of engaging in “illicit sex.


Home Minister Hishammuddin disclosed this yesterday. Two of them received six strokes while another one was given four.
“The sentencing has proven that caning is not unjust, inhumane or causes injuries. This also proves that Jakim and the Prisons Department are prepared and ready to implement Syariah criminal punishment. The public and world community no longer needs to fear caning as a punishment under the Syariah because it is not cruel but instead educates the offenders. It also provides awareness and teaches the offenders to repent and not repeat the acts,” he said in a press statement today.

Wah! This fler is really something la. "caning is not unjust, inhumane or causes injuries..."

Unjust? Were the partners in this "illicit sex" caned too?
Inhumane? What? Chopping off hands for stealing next?
Causes injuries? How would he know?

"The public and world community no longer needs to fear caning as a punishment under the Syariah because it is not cruel but instead educates the offenders..."


Not cruel and educates as well! Now you can't ask for more can you?

This is also funny...

Give Najib chance to change country


Sarawakians were told this by Environment and Public Health Minister Datuk Sri Wong Soon Koh.

Okay Mr. Wong. Sure. I will. Just as soon as he can put his own party in order and not make conflicting statements from his deputy or should that be the other way around? Not that the Deputy fler gives a shit.

A chance to change the country? From what I've seen so far I am not sure Najib can change his own underwear. Sorry.

NIAMAH!!!

62 comments:

1 Malay-sia (L) said...

pat,
yours, wheeeep lar...
of course no pain la.

have a tiggerific year, man!

Anonymous said...

cascrate the fella la

better still

Anonymous said...

They should cane this abdul razak baginda first, since he has a lover (that has been blown into pieces), and don't tell me he has no illicit affair with her? What kind of law is this. Apply law as and when they feel fancy without regards to anyone whether it is individual level or national level. I respect their religion, but those (uneducated) clowns are ruining it and making the country goes backward. Maybe they should cane the hands of all who masterbate too!

Anonymous said...

Idiots, Morons or Nerds any one of these 3 words should fit them nicely.

tupingera said...

Religion is the last refuge of the scoundrels.

funnyfella said...

Pat,
I am very confused!
The useless son and grandson should be classified as a 'masochist' or 'sadist'.Which?
Have a nice day tomorrow.

Excel Bindery said...

haiyya patrick..

syariah law is just for muslims only..jangan sibuk2 la..u pun mesti tak suka kalau i comment u punya amalan agama bodoh..

hishamuddin pun bangang..lu jangan ambil kira dia punya cakap..lu kalau nak tahu pasal syariah law tanya nik aziz laa...

Anonymous said...

6 and 4 strokes of the rotan for 'illicit sex' by syariah law. Very good but shouldn't it be 100 lashes for 'illicit sex' if you follow the Quran. AND the other woman convicted for drinking is still free and yet can go see some royalty somewhere (self censor). Maybe the Home minister should be canned instead! Another numbnuts!

donplaypuks® said...

Yeah, I'm sure Kerismudin and the PM and Cabinet members and the odd UMNO MP's like Zul Nordin, Ibrahim Ali, Bung Mokhtar etc., all go for voluntary caning/whipping sessions at Kajang or Sg. Buloh Prison to energise themselves.

After all, "it is not unjust, inhumane or causes injuries" and gosh, how it improves muscle tone, you know? And EDUCATIONAL too!! What a bargain from a CSR conscious Govt!! Cane 1, Free 2!! Better than being unpenetratingly sodomised with KY Jelly!!

dpp
We are all of 1 race, the Human race

Anonymous said...

better mind own business or kj will lead the demonstration !?

KY said...

yeah i really wanna find out what happened to the guys. unless this was a 3some lesbian act..

Mike said...

Bro,
They will never implement hands chopping in Malaysia or we have 100s of politicians without hands for thieving of Rakyat's money.

Anonymous said...

Ya lah,cane softly mah, so no causing pain and injuries loh!Niamah,you want us to believe canning cause no pain.The best testimony will be from the three woman.Can the authority allow them to be interviewed?

Anonymous said...

So Mr Hisupmuddin,since canning is not inhumane,not cruel and wont cause injuries,so you just cane all the criminals and it will teaches them to repent and will not commit offence again.In this way,govt can save money instead of putting them into jail and got to feed them also.

Anonymous said...

I agree with his-shame caning educates. I would also urge his-shame to go one step further,cane these bad muslims in the town square for all to watch and learn how to be good muslims in his image.

Malaysian muslims should also chop hands and feet and also dicks to teach their deviants. There is no point going half way to be good muslims.

His-shame, confess your sins. I volunteer to cane you FOC.

najib manaukau said...

What the men get so should the women , after all the women have always wanted equal rights. The women wanted to be treated equal so should the punishment !

Anonymous said...

"WHY" only women?????


Their men have been doing this "act" for many years......
And what the hell did they get???

Its always the women they "pick" on.
Go to jail! How is it that these men's hands, legs, ears & whatever not cut off.
They raped, incested, robbed, etc.., etc.......

Where's "that" Islamic law arr....?????????????

Again its always the women being "picked on"...!
How about putting equal amount of women against the men on the Syhariah Courts??

Fair kan...???

As for Najib. Mmmmmm......
If everything is "fair play" since takeover from Badawi, the rakyat will accept....

But "WHY" keep telling the rakyat to give a chance....
Shouldn't be asking, you know!!!

Should know by now that since taken office, if things are "still" not working out......

Means that the rakyat "NOT" buying what's being sold....!!!!

Hello...!! Only now u asking arr??

Anonymous said...

Aiiyaaa....who don know this chinaman lackey of the white termite.Look at all the so called peoples reps like this fker and the $$$ they have and the kantow they have ..of cos maaa support the bin gobment till they die lo...waaaa so goo chan Pat you gib me to phuii these hypocreatures... thank you have a great safeyear of the Tiger.

Tiu Him

Anonymous said...

Yep I watched the news on that unlucky me cos I happened to on the box out of boredom and shiiish this f$#@%^ker showed up.Same moronic face same imbecilic face same moronic puke and woww some interviews of some poor poor souls that really need some redemption for whatever they committed and probably something else!
Waaa again well done la we in bolehland.

Sad Sack

Anonymous said...

oooohh.. you kinky so and sos in Bolehland....ooooohhhhh give it to me ...... yyyessss yyyYYYYYYYESSs...


Ahem

Anonymous said...

If women were caned. What of the men / partners in illicit sex. Lest, it was a les ses.

It is a stance that demeans women and protects men.

No justice.

JLWH

Anonymous said...

Caner: Tuan, nak rotan kuat-kuat atau lemah-lembut?

Kerismuddin: Tak, guna-lah rotan seperti yang digunakan di wayang porno "Whip-it good!"

Caner: Bagus! Saya juga syiok!!!

Kerismuddin: Ya-lah, itu macam "caning is not unjust, inhumane or causes injuries", syiok-lah.

Anonymous said...

Allo incik...

you title for this post explain everything la...
this for MUSLIM ONLY !! so PLEASE HORMAT la and read more about SYARIAH LAWS in AL-QURAN.

about najib, depend who you pangkah..

Anonymous said...

No pain mah, more shock le. Kinky sex and perverts also whip their partners mah. There! Today even the women who said their caning were GOOD mah!

Really warped buggers man!

RidhuanTee said...

lelaki yang terlibat dalam khalwat patut di"cane" juga. saya setuju.

Anonymous said...

Only rotan? Shouldn't they be stoned to death? as this has been practised in other muslim countries?

So, what happen to the male partners who also "berzina" with them? How can they get away with this?

What kind of law that only punishes female? Very unfair.

Anonymous said...

Vote MCA, MIC or Gerakan meaning vote for UMNO meaning for PERKASA to enforce Syariah Law meaning non Muslim to be caned very soon for having mistresses.

women power said...

ekceri, FOUR men and 3 women got whipped. but why oni call the women for interview??? sungguh hamsap, ok.

i agree with Excel Bindery -- ini rotan syariah for muslims oni, you dont have to sibuk2. but i tell you, if we can impose this whipping to the muslim MPs, i'd say prolly at least HALF of the parliament will be whipped half dead!

PPKK said...

Hahahaha!!!u maketh my day, Patrick!! TY!!!

ICON2008 said...

Heaven! Have mercy on these stupid people

Anonymous said...

Hello Pat,

I agree with Excel Bindery @10.28pm. Syariah laws are for muslims only. So until you convert to Islam and become a muslim, you have nothing to fear. If sadomasochists like kerismuddin and Jakim enjoy caning and chopping off hands of muslims according to syariah laws, then let it be.

Soon we will see plenty of UMNOputras around town without hands (chopped off mah because of all their stealing, thieving and pillaging). When we see these handless UMNOputras, then we will all believe in kerismuddin words that the syariah laws educates the offenders.

1Malayia, Truly Asia, Truly Niamah.

Anonymous said...

Wah! Today's paper reported that the ladies even gave birth to children out of wed lock (kinder description....the kids didn't ask for this) and yet 4 to 6 strokes of the rotan. Like I said syariah law? Really...?!?!?!?! Confirmed NUMBNUTS!!!!

Anonymous said...

gave up reading newspapers already.. the more u read, become more stupid..

Glam said...

u also got sense of humor. another good piece on this same topic is at helpvictor.blogspot.com. Very insightful too. thanks for entertaining readers, Patrick

donplaypuks® said...

Bro

Here's a stinger from Lim Kit Siang's blog.

" NIBONG TEBAL, 19 Feb (Bernama) — An Iraqi, who is taking a doctorate at Universiti Sains Malaysia (USM), was Friday charged in the Magistrate Court here with reckless driving and causing the death of a student at the university, Fadilah Abdul Halim, 27, last Thursday.......

However, no plea was recorded because Hamood could neither understand English nor Malay....."

So, its confirmed they language of instruction is Manglish at which I am an expert. Didn'tch chew all know one ah? Check it out at http://donplaypuks.blogspot.com, M'sia's leading website for Manglish and satire!! Lol.

dpp
We are all of 1 race, the Human Race

Anonymous said...

How to determine 6 strokes or 4?

6 strokes...admit it is not painful and that you are happy to accept this punishment. Agree not to speak of this and let the govt speak only. So the govt will say the culprits agreed to this punishment.

4 strokes.....agree to perform kinky sex, maybe no need to cane la.

Noticed none of the girls said it was not painful. Then again, if no pain cane for what? Cane for shiok is it? These people stupid i think. Like that everyone also not scared la, go do illegal things and let the authorities catch la, cane no pain one mah.

Tokkok la.

Btw, man no canning unless the "caner" is pretty lady. Man more equal ma, can have 4 wives.

Malaysia=Stone Age soon........

Anonymous said...

So funny that these 3 ladies were not arrested but turned themselves in long after their sins were committed.

Rid Tee said...

I will never believe in 1Malaysia as long as they whip people on khalwat but not on rasuah. Umno practices selective prosecution at every level.

awek selamat said...

So Whipshammuddin says that the caning was "carried out perfectly". He must be into S&M!

Don't tell me that this is the only way to make a woman repentant of her sins? and it will never leave a psychological scar in the women? does he think the women will be happily receiving the cannings while those men who have sex with them are free? Whipsham's thinking is too shallow, the whole issue is not whether the buttocks are scarred or not or whether they are repentant or not, it is about human right and it is not according to the civil law.

comeonlah said...

"Lest we forget, a muslim who does not submit to the shariah laws as commanded by the Almighty is nothing more than a Muslim merely by name. "

Phew, there must be many then, who are just "merely" using Muslim names!

Just see for yourself:-

1. Ibrahim Ali - racist/opportunist

2. UMNO members- corruption

3. Judges & courts conducting sham trials

4. Zambry - Hijacking a democratically elected govn.

5. Khir Toyo - Build Disney mansions using tax payers' money.

6. Gani P - Attorney general who clearly colludes with the Gov'n in power

Now, why didn't the National Registration Dept get tough with this bunch of guys when they are clearly & merely, Muslims only by name? I mean, if they can get tough with Lina Joy, what's the big deal with the rest?

Pls tell me what is the shariah punishment for acts mentioned in list above.

zahrain said...

What does one expect these three caned women to say in the light of their predicament? That they are angry, that they have brought shame on their respective families and that they are emotionally scarred for being brought into ridicule before the whole country and the whole world at large?

One can rest assured that whatever their genuine feelings are, these feelings will never see the light of day - especially with the syariah laws hovering over them. It's a matter of survival; they do not wish to tangle with these laws again, period. And can you blame them?

I wonder if foreign Muslim women would also be caned if they were caught drinking and having sex out of wedlock. Would they be arrested and caned? The caning has opened a can of worms and would make Malaysia a country to be shunned by foreign visitors.

Anwar Al-Juburi said...

I swear to god i'll give u 1 slap if i see you Pat...

brutus said...

Umno has two views in remaining in power - to become a Malay/Muslim extremist or to return to the middle ground. Najib's '1Malaysia' concept is so full of holes that the rakyat did not buy into it from day one. On top of that, it's being sabotaged from inside by Umno.

If Umno decides to be a Malay/Muslim extremist party, it will alienate the progressive-thinking Malays, non-Malays, the East Malaysians and the international community as we are already witnessing. Remember what happened to PAS when it showed it ultra-Muslim stance in the 1980s and early 90s? The Malays themselves got wary of them.

There will be no support internationally in the form of foreign funds and there will be a further depletion of local investment from Malaysian themselves which will further widen the nation's deficit.

A 'no money' situation leads to an unhappy rakyat which will be reflected in the polls. Anyway, it goes without saying we are witnessing the fall of Umno. What's worrying is that Umno will drag Malaysia down with it.

It has become pretty obvious that Najib is already under extreme pressure from his deputy Muhyiddin the moment Utusan Malaysia came out with their racist articles, repeatedly published with impunity.

You would think that the prime minister's strategy for 'unity' would be to rally the nation but when his deputy goes ballistic on 'Malay supremacy', it's a sure sign Najib is checkmated. It's easier to appeal to emotions than to logic. Malay supremacy is emotional. '1Malaysia' demands a huge, huge dose of logic to process for the average man especially if he considers himself to be a 'privileged bumiputera'.

Najib is tainted internally and internationally. Muhyiddin is 'clean' to his supporters and he is championing 'Ketuanan Melayu.' They have seen some gains appealing to Malay emotions. Now they need to scale it up. The only way their scheme will fail is when the majority of Malays reject it and non-Malays stay calm amidst the hysterics.

Note: Muhyidin is not clean. As menteri besar of Johor, he grabbed unlawfully land belonging to Stamford Holdings (Singapore). After a prolonged legal battle, the Johor government was ordered to pay millions in compensation. Before he could do more damage, then PM Dr Mahathir Mohamad pulled him out of Johor. He has no credibility with investors, both nationally and internationally.

Whip It said...

Anwar Al-Juburi is a jobless graduate working as a cybertrooper for umno.

Anonymous said...

Will new MACC chief Abu Kassim Mohamed live up to his promise that he will clean up the MACC? Teoh's soul will definitely seek justice and the perpetrators will surely pay for their act. It may take time but it will surely come.

Anonymous said...

Malaysia is sending its 'best' to USA to represent Malaysia, to convince the Americans and the international communities that the rule of law is still alive in Malaysia.

The APCO-organized & rakyat-financed “seminar” is on Governance and the Rule of Law in Malaysia & Malaysian Legislative Initiatives.

Let us look at the credentials of Malaysia's delegates:-

1. Nazri - the Law Minister (be kind you guys...), recently he came up with the learned opinion that Sarawakian and Sabahan Christian can use the word 'Allah' but not the Christians in Semenanjung thus resolving the whole issue of use of the word 'Allah';

2. Nazri must have also made good and strong representations to the AG chambers with regard to the murder case of Darren Kang in Sri Hartamas;

3. Gani - instrumental and played an active role in Sodomy 1. This success has catapulted him to become the top government lawyer thus landing him the AG's job. Together with his dead (head shrunk) boss he has helped convince the learned (now dead) judge to convict DSAI. Though there was allegation that Gani and another (who is now a judge) held Nala (Manjit's client) at ransom and threatened him with the death sentence, Gani convincingly argued against it and convinced his former head-shrank dead boss that there was no wrong doing on his part.

4. Hamid - is this the guy who sat in the tribunal to sack the top judge in 1988 and perhaps found ways to justify sitting in the tribunal when he is also an interested party being the Acting CJ? If he is than he has set a precedent on the argument for 'conflict of interest' and natural justice. If he is not the same Hamid, then I'm sure this Hamid should be able to argue for the existence of the 'rule of law' and natural justice in Malaysia using the 1988 Judicial Crisis!!!

So with the above credentials, tell me why can't these 3 monkeys represent Malaysia to uphold the 'rule of law' ??? Malaysia Boleh!!!

Anonymous said...

Is Najib really unaware that national and international confidence in Malaysian governance, an important element for Malaysia’s declining international competitiveness, hinges considerably on the process and outcome of the Anwar Sodomy2 trial, which explains the presence of international observers at the trial?

Anonymous said...

By umno's kpi, drinking beer is an offence but taking bribe/corruption is ok.

Anonymous said...

I dont mind hudud law at all, that way a lot of our politicians will go around with no hands, some may get their mouths stitched and great! flog those fellas who are involved in illicit sex (not just the ladies, i m sure they must have partners to have sex...flog their partners too)

avatarputra said...

Rosmah said although Najib was a man of not many words, he should not be underestimated. Najib, you can stomp your feet till the cows come home, but Rosmah will still be in her Seventh Heaven shopping for her never-ending branded shoes, handbags, etc.

If however Rosmah stomps her feet, then it's a totally different matter. The household will tremble and Najib will probably get into foetal position for self-preservation.

rosman said...

Another fantastic lie and fancy:

Najib called on his party umno to adopt a paradigm shift in order to win over the non-Malays, by solving the problems of all Malaysians regardless of race.

Anonymous said...

Hello Pat,
Caning likes this can generate M&S feeling you know!Shiok sendiri.Maybe next round, 30 women wants to get cane...
About PM & DPM? They are after each others throat.Rosmah is indirectly giving all Umno guys including DPM.Dont play play with him hor....

Anonymous said...

NST today shows picture of the difference between caning guys and gals.

Truly niamah!

Anonymous said...

teachers can start canning the students - as caning is NOT causes injuries....

Anonymous said...

To those who asked Pat not to comment on Syariah Laws (not to sibuk)..

Pat is not sibuk-ing on Syariah Laws. Our brother is making a mockery out of Hishamuddin's comment which borders nonsense and ignorance. Please read Pat's post properly next time.

awana said...

Mahathir has publicly declared that he does not know what Najib’s 1Malaysia is about. Mahathir withholds support for Najib’s 1Malaysia but has no hesitation in giving his blessings to Perkasa.

Yet he said he is pleased with najib's performance.

The old man is either senile or playing a shrewd political game to path his son to the top of umno at the expense of najib.

awana said...

Mahathir has publicly declared that he does not know what Najib’s 1Malaysia is about. Mahathir withholds support for Najib’s 1Malaysia but has no hesitation in giving his blessings to Perkasa.

Yet he said he is pleased with najib's performance.

The old man is either senile or playing a shrewd political game to path his son to the top of umno at the expense of najib.

Nicholas Smith said...

Rising Islamic conservatism in Malaysia, where women were caned under Islamic law for the first time this month, has cast doubt over the future of the multi-ethnic country and has shaken Malaysia's reputation as a moderate Muslim-majority nation.

Suci Dalam Debu said...

Patrick,

You missed out something about this illicit sex ler. Where got men involved.

They all did it with some toys, I think. So only women got charged lor.

I better ask my wife to be extra careful with her toys lor.

bayi said...

"Give Najib chance to change country."

Which way, man? Which way?

NIAMAH!

Bayi II said...

"Give Najib chance to change country."

Which way? The Taliban way-lah!

Anonymous said...

pat.. u suck..

Nuffnang