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Wednesday, March 31, 2010

And so finally it is out in the open.....

Given his taste in hats maybe he was really something else first.

Malaysian Deputy Prime Minister, Muhyiddin Yassin has finally said what a lot of Malaysians have believed or suspected of him. That he considered himself a “Malay first,” and then only a Malaysian.

In Parliament today Muhyiddin also said, “I am Malay first! But being Malay does not mean you are not Malaysian. It is not a race issue. It’s an understanding of the term gagasan."



Flavour of the month

Eat shit but don't talk shit okay?

The flavour of the month in Malaysia seems to be SHIT!

First, Perkasa's mouthpiece, Ibrahim Ali's now famous outburst on
Al Jazeera..........

And then, speaking at a forum entitled “Government in the Age of Social Media”,

Khairy Jamaluddin was quoted by The Malaysian Insider as saying,

“It’s not about communicating when your product is shit. If it’s a shit product, it’s a shit product, whether in politics or the kaki lima.”

This is good shit!


Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Mexican Girl - 1978

This is the song that I played a lot of when I was working the morning show on RTM's Radio 4. I used to play it up to 5 times a day during my 3-hour show "Patrick In The Morning". Some listeners loved it, some hated it, others petitioned the minister to have me removed.

Ahhhhhh.......those were the good old days. When I believed that the NEP was a brilliant plan to enable ALL Malaysians to enjoy the bounties of this land. When I had none but Malaysian friends. When I proudly planned my future in the country of my birth.

I post it here in memory of better times.


Monday, March 29, 2010

Vote for your rights!

I am posting this here to help in efforts to register Malaysian voters. Do your part. Vote for your rights.

Dear Extraordinary Bloggers, cyber pals and friends,

I write to let you know that Voice your Choice is starting this weekend in Klang Valley. We are going to be at 3 locations from 10am – 10pm on the 3rd and 4th of April.

1. Subang Parade

2. Amcorp Mall

3. Cineleisure, Kota Damansara.

We will be at these 3 locations all weekend for voters registration.

We need your assistance to draw people out from their houses to actively come to register. We know this is not a norm but we hope to achieve that with your influence over the people that you lead through your blogs. This adventure of ours is truly extraordinary as we aim to hit an epic target of 2 million voters registered by the end of this year. Never has there been such an aim yet we are not backing out or doubting the people of Malaysia. This is because the only reason we are doing this is because we strongly believe that our people wants to be counted significant in making a difference in their community and country. The reason why there has not been action is because most people are paralysed by the fear of being alone.

Therefore if all of you join us to start this of in cyber space where we are blessed with this freedom, we are very sure, others on the ground will follow suit. Let us do this in unison with the belief that our fellow brother or sister shares the same believe that we strongly believe all of you have. That is that our tiny action however insignificant it may feel will collectively come together to make an amazing impact that will ultimately shape our future.

We plead and urge you that you not let our dream die but share it with us because we know that this dream will become a reality if more people believe in it. Please over this next 5 days write something in regards to this event on the 3rd and 4th of April. Also pls fly our e-badge as a sign of support. Our hope is that all Malaysian blogs and websites will fly this throughout this year. Attached is the e-badge & a simple guide on how to place the e-badge on Blogspot. I seek your support in sending this to your other bloggers who would support us in this movement. We need all the help we can get.

Fortunately, the 3rd and 4th is only our soft launch. We will take this nationwide in May. We will not give up nor will we back out.

For more info visit

Thank you.


Growing Emerging Leaders

Malaysia! What a country!

Chua Soi Lek.
Unfaithful husband. Unintentional porn star.
The new President of the Malaysian Chinese Association.

(photo from The Star)

Are there any more doubters that Malaysia is a country worth protecting?



Sunday, March 28, 2010

Nah! You want Keris? I give you KERIS!

Poor Najib. He gets it almost everyday doesn't he? It's either being contradicted by his deputy and almost everybody else. Or he's being warned.

Today, he is being WARNED! Yes the capitals are intentional because this latest warning comes from no less than former prime minister, Mahathir Mohamed.

Don't ignore Perkasa (The Star)

The former PM says that Najib should listen to views expressed by Perkasa because it is a "mouthpiece" of the Malay community.

Really? So, if you are Malay and don't agree with what Perkasa is doing you better make your voices heard. NOW!

This next bit from Dr. M is quite scary. He said that Najib must listen to their (Perkasa's I presume) view "whether it is sane or insane".

And this is the man who was our Prime Minister for 22 years! Now I feel insanely stupid.

Mahathir also said “The Government is listening to the grouses of other communities and it should also listen to the grouses of the Malays’’.

Hello uncle! When has the Malaysian government NOT been listening to the grouses of the Malays and looking after them? Tell me. Which period of our 50+ years as an independent nation? Got meh? I think it is just people like you and Perkasa who are insisting that fiction be created to cover up history.

"Dr Mahathir said sensitive religious and racial issues should be discussed behind closed doors for the sake of stability."

I tell you ah, politicians lie so often that they totally forget what they are saying. This man is speechifying about Malay rights and all and he tells us that racial issues should be discussed behind closed doors for the sake of stability?

Okay, okay...I think I shall go do something else before my Sunday is completely fucked.\


Friday, March 26, 2010

Money down the drain? Or into pockets?

Ahmad Zahid Hamidi, Defence Minister with RM11billion for new toys

In recent months we have all heard the government moaning about how subsidies cost the country much-needed money for development, eradication of poverty, schools, hospitals, public transportation. And so they withdraw some subsidies so that money can be saved for more urgent needs of the Rakyat. So we pay more for shitty petrol, electricity, water and God knows what else.

And then..................

The Malaysian government is expected to sign defence contracts worth more than RM11 billion at DSA 2010, Asia’s largest defence and security exhibition, which will be held here (Singapore) from April 19 to 22, according to Defence Minister Datuk Seri Ahmad Zahid Hamidi.
(The Edge, Tuesday March 23, 2010)

So, we're going to buy more jet fighters, guns, submarines and God knows what else. And for what? To defend ourselves from what, whom? Don't we already have a non-sub-marine submarine? Are we still in the business of supplying South American air forces?


Thursday, March 25, 2010

Ah got police presence d crime rate go down kan?

On page N31 of today's Star there is a very funny story which is headlined......

Nothing particularly rib-tickling in that headline but the sentence under that is hilarious......

Cop's presence in hotspots reduce the index by 13.2% this year

Apparently, the big policeman said that "the presence of policemen in crime hotspots has resulted in the reduction of the national crime index by 13.2% in the first two months of this year compared to last year."

And so as a tax-paying member of the Rakyat i would like to know if that meant that previous to this policemen were not present in crime hotspots? And if these were identifiable crime hotspots why was there no police presence until now?

Wait some more funny stuff. The IGP also said that the marine operations force had excelled. I don't know la but there is an accompanying photo showing officers of the Marine Assault Team storming a beach in an exercise somewhere. Look at the photo (below). What's wrong with it? Don't know? Black uniforms against white sand! I reckon it would take an enemy sniper all of 6.1 seconds to take out all the 6 goondu's there. No? So they can't be that good to excel at anything if they can't ever cover their asses.

The Star Metro reports today that the Commercial Vehicles Licensing Board (CVLB) has come out with a set of rules for taxis.

I am sure that most of you have noticed this new sign that our taxi's are carrying as the result of a new rule from the Commercial Vehicles Licensing Board.


Now as a consumer and an irregular taxi user I want to know this. Why the fuck is the CVLB telling US???!!! Just like so many government departments the CVLB seems to have gotten the equation wrong.

WE want to use metered taxis. WE don't want to haggle! It's the fucking taxi drivers who do not want to use the meters and want to charge exorbitant prices. So, go tell those fuckers!

The CVLB thinks this sticker is going to make all the difference in curing Kuala Lumpur's taxi over-charging menace. And the Star headline even says "Stickers tell users not to haggle with cabbies". It's as if WE were the cause of the problem in the first place. Oh how this rule has been used so effective the past 50 years eh?

And finally, Najib announced today that police personnel will be AUTOMATICALLY promoted. He said that personnel with the ranks of constable to corporal who will enjoy promotions based on a time-based service scheme. Which basically means that whatever the fuck you do IF you stay long enough you will go UP the scale. In the scheme a constable would be promoted to lance corporal after three years’ service and a lance corporal would be promoted to corporal after five years’ service. So what is that supposed to do? Make the police more efficient? Less prone to corruption? I don't think so. Do you?


Fantastic Fact and Funny

AIYOH! Cousin, you damn funny la.

Since becoming prime minister by default Najib Razak has said many funny things. His most famous piece of comedy being 1Malaysia! Yay! But following as a very close second is his statement at the recent National Press Club NAZA Awards night......

“I have always been of the view that freedom without responsibility is no freedom at all. I believe the world media can take some lessons from our Malaysian media.

“This is probably what some self-appointed western guardians of the free press at times fail to understand"......

Funny or not? The world media cant take some lessons from our Malaysian media.! PHWAAAR! Notice that he said OUR Malaysian media and not THE Malaysian media.

Then some more he got say there......

"As long as the reports do not run foul of our existing laws, the press is free to report on pretty much anything...."

Do not run foul of OUR existing laws you are free to report anything = as long as you tow OUR line you can write anything la.

True or not? Funny ah? I thought so.


This is funny

Someone left a comment on the post Fantastic Facts and Funnies. I thought I'd share it with you here in case you're too lazy to click on the comments section to read it. Enjoy!

For the sake of balance and objectivity, let me say this:

"Patrick Teoh! you extreme talentless geriatric old fart. Why are you so extreme and arrogant?! Can't you see all the good things the government has done for you and your extremities? Isn't the grass extremely brown on the other side? So brown in fact, as to blind you to all the goodness and peace and wonderfulness that surrounds you when you go to sleep at night and dream extreme, inappropriate and viridian thoughts about the other side's grass? Your arrogance stems from the pathologically extreme need to hit back at perceived "injustices" (i.e. being referred to parenthetically without proper syntax) inflicted on you, redundantly and for no apparent reason. The Voice of Malaysia has become the Joker indeed, which has caused a lot of people to laugh, as this is what jokers do and get paid for."

Okay, that's it. In response to this, I suggest you post the following separately:

"This is a wonderful country. I am so happy to know that I am safe and can sleep soundly and the grass is green. Losmah Manchor so bootifooo. Yes. Truly.


Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Bangkit. The voice of awakened Youth

Please visit this URL to learn more about the Voice of Awakened Youth.

Fantastic Facts and Funnies

I found a couple of funnies in The Sun this morning and thought I'd share them with you.

Fantastic fact #1

Home Minister, Hishamuddin says that he and Musa Hassan, the Inspector-General of Police are pals and that there is no rift. This after the now well-known IGP ding-dong that happened a couple of weeks ago.

IGP is quitting.
No!IGP is not quitting.
Okay, he is going to be replaced.

So things led to some rumours that maybe Hisham and the IGP had some sort of falling out. And today in The Sun Hisham says "No rift with IGP. No lah. There is no problem at all." Okay. But that's not the funny. Hisham went on to say that ......

"if the relationship between Musa and him was not close, there was no way the national security forces could reduce crime or move the National Key Results Area (NKRA) as planned".

That's when I went HUH???!!! What the fuck has that got to do with reducing crime and moving the NKRA?

Fantastic Fact #2

The MACC has decided to use the Internet in their public relations efforts. The Chief Commissioner said that this was to garner public cooperation for the MACC's efforts to eradicate corruption. Okay, that's not funny. Well, it is milding amusing to read that from the MACC actually. Anyway, what's funny is that the fler 'called upon' the public to acknowledge all the good work done by the MACC in the past year.

"We succeeded in solving high-profile cases, catching high-profile 'sharks'. Over the past four decades, the MACC has never had a record like we did last year. We caught 22 politicians and charged 14 of them. We have never caught that many high-profile individuals before.

"We also made history by solving 92.6% of the 586 investigation papers we began in a 6-month period," he said, pointing out that such achievements were "forgotten" by the public because of "one incident" - namely the death of political aide Teoh Beng Hock, whose inquest is still ongoing."

So what is the guy asking for? A pat on the back? That all of us should genuflect and give thanks just because they are doing the job that they are PAID to do? But this type of attitude is becoming so typically Malaysian isn't it? You pay someone to do a job and we're supposed to be so "grateful" that they are doing it?


Saturday, March 20, 2010

Of course not!

The Star reports that the MACC survey says that low salaries, high costs of living are not the main factors for corruption.

I think, for once, the MSM may be reporting the truth. We all can guess that the main culprits are really those who don't have low salaries and hardly need to worry about high costs of living. Right? Hee hee hee..... just thought I'd leave you with a fantastic fact and funny before shutting down for the weekend.


Friday, March 19, 2010

Some more crock

I sincerely hope that this comment is from a Malaysian exercising his right to free speech and expressing his opinion in which case I tabik. Thank you. But if this is sent by one of them so-called Cyber Troopers then all I can say is, "There they go again. Spending our hard-earned money on goons who don't even do a credible job of their instructions!" What do you think?

Irrespective of all the Niamah's fanboys and fangirls this person had it nailed about you. The one who is a load full of crock is you.

You got too arrogant when you were on top of the world and your mouth got the better of you. Now you spew acid from your blog.

I agree with that person. You have gone extreme .. and it's just to be extreme for the sake of extreme and anger to the world at large for dislodging from the top.

The grass will be always greener on the other side for you. Your tunnel vision and twisted mind now only look at situations to satisfy your need to 'hit back' for the perceived past 'injustices' (been kicked out from TV3) inflicted upon you.

The 'Voice of Malaysia' had become the Joker over the years .. very sad indeed.


Thursday, March 18, 2010

Another load of crock!

This is by far the strangest comment I received in response to my blog post "What a load of Crock". Very disturbing indeed how some people reason.

"i think you are the one that need to check your pulse to see which country you are living in, or waht rhetoric and perception you want to believe. This country and govt has been so goood to you all these years (know you don't agree but one peaceful nite just close your eyes, with adam in your thoughts.. go back to the first memory you can remember and step by step think of all the phases in your life. then quietly conclude whether this is a blissful place or hell on earth .).. For some people the grass is always greener on the other side.... until they are actually on the other side... So disappointed in you patrick... I used to muse and enjoy your radio i found it very thought provoking... but now you are just extreme....for the sake of being extreme.....Full of anger..."

Don't get me wrong, guys. I am not upset or angry about the comment. And the person has every right to disagree with what I say. It's just that I found it ...... well strange. Hee hee hee.


Tuesday, March 16, 2010

What a load of crock!

Malaysia's funniest man
(don't you just love that face?)

I was planning to go to sleep early to get an early start tomorrow. But habit drove me to open my email inbox one more time before hitting the sack. And I am actually glad that I did. There were some gems. This is the best one.

In The Malay Mail today it was reported that the Prime Minister, Najib Razak actually believes in his own rhetoric.

In the story he was quoted as saying, "Due to the ever-expanding popularity of the 1Malaysia concept, it is only natural for the Opposition to react and attempt to come up with their own concept......" Najib was replying to a question to explain the difference between 1Malaysia and the DAP's Middle Malaysia concept which he had earlier criticised as being archaic and irrelevant.

What mystified me was Najib's belief that his 1Malaysia concept was gaining "ever-expanding popularity". Huh? Where's he been living the past couple of years?

Najib even goes on to say, "Unlike Middle Malaysia, the 1Malaysia concept is not merely rhetoric and has proven results in accordance to the 'People First, Performance Now' tagline that the government continues to implement."

"Not merely rhetoric and has proven results"? Okay, have you stopped laughing? There's more. What do you think gives Najib the idea that 1Malaysia is so "popular"? Oh this is going to kill you laughing.

Bernama reports that he said, "I was overwhelmed by the support for the 1Malaysia wishes from the people and the initiative of the people to celebrate and identify the 1Malaysia symbol as a symbolic logo during a wedding which involved four couples in Kapar, comprising two Malay couples, a Chinese and Indian couple, which I personally attended."

And just so you don't think that he based his confidence just on some wedding ceremony he attended (when he should be doing more important things like managing this sick country's affairs) Najib tries to convince us by saying in the Dewan Rakyat today that "The 1Malaysia symbol has become so popular that corporate bodies and volunteer groups have adopted the 1Malaysia logo as part of their corporate design for their uniforms or apparel..."


Want to laugh some more? Yes, there is more. So okay, Najib says 1Malaysia is gaining ever-expanding popularity. Okay. Then it was reported in the Star that his own "Information Department finds most Malaysians generally know about the 1Malaysia concept but have yet to have a full grasp of it. According to a survey it carried out recently, 80% of the people interviewed knew about the concept but were not able to explain what it really stood

The Director-General of Information was quoted as saying, "What we are doing is in line with the wish of our Prime Minister who wants to feel the pulse of the people at the grassroots level."

I really think Najib should check his own pulse to see if he is alive and living in Malaysia or he's really left us and living on another planet.


Monday, March 15, 2010

Fantastic Fact and Funny

Hello everybody! It's Monday and the start of another week here in Bolehland. On Mondays I usually try and look for something funny to share with all of you. I don't usually succeed and sink back into normal Niamah!!! mode rather quickly but today I think I might have a good one for you. I think la. You decide.

As citizens of this Bolehland, corruption has been the bane of our lives for decades. Year in, year out, administration in, administration out the usual noises are made about eradicating corruption. In our civil service, local councils, police...just about everywhere la. Of course nothing very much different is achieved. And life goes on in Bolehland with most of us just shrugging while uttering a tired, "Hiyah! Like that one la here. Never change one la."

And some of us wonder and keep wondering why that is the case. We had an Anti Corruption Agency (ACA) which morphed into the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission (MACC) but we still read about and experience corruption at every level. Why ah?

Well, today as I was driving to a bank in TTDI I spotted this billboard put up by DBKL on which might lie the answer to why corruption will always be part of Malaysian life. If you don't understand Malay ask a friend to translate for you. If you're not Malaysian then you probably won't get it anyway. So don't bother and surf somewhere else la.

Okay. Ready?

Orang memberi
Kita merasa.

Get it?
Oh never mind.


Friday, March 12, 2010

Toilet philosophy

Toilet in Centre Point, Bandar Utama

Take a look at the photo above. Your first reaction might be to burst into hysterical laughter. Or you might just mutter "What the fuck!!!". But if you think about it for a bit longer you might just see the similiarities between that toilet design and life in Malaysia or Malaysian politics. And if you are reading this and going "Huh? So what is the answer?" Then never mind la. You can go back to whatever you were doing before this. Thank you.


Thursday, March 11, 2010

Read this. Please.


I am a 23 year old Malaysian and I lead a team of dreamers who are working hard to make this country a better place. We are not trying to start a revolution nor are we trying to disrupt the peace. We are merely trying to put back that true sense of peace and unity which we lost when we left primary school. We want to tell the youth of our nation that indeed there is still hope for our nation, that we are not alone. We want all to know that there is indeed a longing for POSITIVE action brewing within all of us in the midst of today’s issues whether we speak of it or not.

Perhaps we have not acted on our troubled conscience because we have long thought we have lost the power to make a difference. If that is so, then you are not alone. That is because I am the same; I too have lost that belief that ‘one can make a difference’. However I believe when 2 or 3 are gathered, incredible things can happen. Therefore, I am willing to try and will leave this in your hands, so that I and more like me can be proven wrong. What we are going to do is give you a matchstick each. How you use it is up to you, but I believe none of you are fools, so please start that fire. The more that joins in, the bigger it will be.

So this is what’s happening; we have taken up the challenge to register 1,000,000 voters by the end of 2010. Even though we do have a SUPERB plan, that’s right, its 6 ZEROS! Impossible? I think so, unless everyone rises up and helps out. Only then can we reach that INSANELY EPIC target. For your information, we are not in this for personal glory, nor are we part of a business gimmick, and definitely not controlled by political parties. Anyways, if we wanted glory and money I think we wouldn’t have set ourselves up for EPIC failure like that.

Have I got your interest?

If you are inspired and want to be part of this, scroll down to the ‘how to’. If you are thinking that there is no hope and our efforts will only be futile in the end, I hope that you will see at the end of 2010 that you are indeed the minority and majority of us actually still have hope. If you are still unsure as most of you are, scroll down to the ‘how to’ and join us to look and see if this will actually work. Trust me, it’s going to be an exciting and entertaining ride whether we hit our target or not.


- Attach the ‘VOICE your CHOICE’ e-badge to your blog or website to show you are part of the EPIC for UNITY movement and please make sure to link it to our website or blog.
- Tell everyone about this, through your mouths, blogs, facebook, twitter and any other methods you can think of. The more the merrier.
- Keep updated with our blog so that you have accurate information.
- Let us know if you have any contacts that would be willing to be involved in the hands on work.
- If you know of any companies that would support our cause in terms of finance, products, services or people please introduce the cause and help us connect!

For more info please check out our blog at
Our email is
Please pass this message around.

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Vote for the future of your country

If you still need an incentive to register as a voter read this.

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Is it not ironic that one of Malaysia's biggest embarrassments of this era is the Malaysian Embassy in Singapore. 20 years have passed, I have personally seen this and experienced it; and to date NOTHING has changed. Excuse this not the year 2010?

Why?.. with all the latest technology available, all the big and bold talk about "PRODUKTIVITI" & "MALAYSIA BOLEH". Changing the "Salam" by placing your hand on your heart to show sincerity?

Maybe someone forgot to inform all the people at the Malaysian Embassy in Singapore that it is the 21st Century. The Embassy is a representation of the people for the people. Or am i wrong or have i been on the moon for the past decade?

What is prevailing is their pre-historic work ethics and attitudes. This is the main reason we have a system that can never improve, because the people in the drivers seat are enforcing the poor work ethics in anything they do. They don't care...plain and simple.
Still the same "tidak apa" attitude. Still the same "gaji sama tapi kerja lebih" attitude. I ask every Malaysian..are we not so tired of this? When are we going to see some change and not just talk? How long more do tolerate this before something is done? Another 20 years?

What is the use of having an Embassy filled with LAZY people. The same people who are the FIRST to respond to any criticism with either a denial or a different version of a story we all read and know its untrue. People who just "cant be bothered" and will give you every and any excuse possible to cover their poor performance and lack of responsibility. Basically re-enforcing their "tidak apa attitude". Makes me sick to the stomach.

To what you may ask is my immediate frustration? I went to the embassy yesterday at 10am as i needed to renew my passport. 2 security guards were comfortably sitting in their office chatting away. Yes, after 10am our embassy security they are paid to sit in their office and talk about football and the latest scores.

"What you want" was the first thing they said to me. No good morning, how may I assist you or even the slightest gesture of courtesy. My response was that I would like to renew my passport. Without a blink of an eye they both started laughing as if I was asking when in Malaysia Elvis was residing. "No more number" they time come earlier. Slid the glass panel shut and continued with their conversation. At this point I felt well I'd just try again tomorrow.

This morning I was there at 7.30am...again I approached the same security guards. They did not recognize me and again I asked them for a queue number to renew my passport. This time the laughing was a little more sarcastic and they both blatantly told me..."halo" better you come at 4am and line up. Maybe when we give out numbers at 7.10am you can get a ticket. We only issue 150 tickets a day. You don't get.. not our problem..we cannot do anything. Embassy rules. Hence this email to all my fellow Malaysians. It is time to speak up to stop this incorrigible attitude.

So I am to believe that the entire Malaysian Embassy is only able to process 150 applicants or renewals a day? And we are blatantly told we have to line up at 4am or literally drop dead? I asked around, and the response from many people was the same. One auntie was there since 8am...she must have been about 65 years old. Did the embassy staff even bother? I would like to ask, would they let their own mother stand in the hot sun for half a day just to get her passport renewed?

They don't care and they have the attitude that if we don't come even before the chickens awake in Malaysia its not their problem.

I called the embassy, asking to speak to an officer pertaining to this. A rude lady answered, "yes what you want"...I replied i would like to speak to an officer pertaining to the difficulty of renewing a passport. She blatantly responded "you want to complain" go ahead, you think you are the first person who want to complain"?. And hung up the phone.

I do hope there is a glimmer of hope left in our system. Hope that there is a possibility of change. Lets be realistic...20 years and nothing has changed. It is a major embarrassment to the country.

I have had better productivity from a embassy in a 3rd world country where they transport your papers via land on horseback and sea by boat...and its done in a few hours.

Or maybe the 150 applicant documents processed at the embassy here are put in a sampan and rowed along the straits of Malacca to Port Klang where they are transferred to a Kereta Lembu before reaching the embassy in KL for the appropriate signatures?

Malaysia, it is time to speak up. The truth is undeniable.

Andrew Johnson
CEO & Managing Director


Monday, March 08, 2010

Quite funny

Malaysia! We welcome all pendatang (immigrants). Well, almost all la.

My cousin sent me this which I found quite funny. In a tragic sort of way. So I thought I'd share it with you this Monday. To kind of kick-start your week la. Enjoy......

If you cross the North Korean border illegally
You get 12 years hard labour.

If you cross the Iranian border illegally
You will be jailed indefinitely.

If you cross the Afghan border illegally
You will be shot.

If you cross the Chinese border illegally
You will never be heard from again.

If you are Indonesian and cross the Malaysian border illegally you will get......

MyPR (Permanent Residence status/Pemastautin Tetap)
A driving licence maybe a taxi driver's licence if you like.
Voting rights
Job reservation
Eventual Bumiputra status
Subsidised rent or loans to buy a house
Free education
Free healthcare
Total acceptance as "one of us"

Malaysia! What a country!


Saturday, March 06, 2010

The taste of freedom

From ducks to chickens — Patrick Teoh can’t seem to stay away from feathered creatures.

Love him or loathe him, there is no denying that Patrick Teoh is one of Malaysia’s most iconic personalities. And why haven’t you been hearing him on the radio, you ask?

That is because the 62-year-old is busy rearing poultry — organic free-range ones at that. But wasn’t it birds that got him in so much trouble in the first place?

For those old enough to remember, Teoh played an April Fool’s joke in 1995 on his radio show when he had his friend call in to complain that her advertising agency was putting ducks on hot plates to make them dance for a commercial.

This upset many people and police reports were lodged before people realised that the “dancing ducks’’ were a hoax. To cut a long story short, many were not happy that Teoh used national radio to play pranks and called for his resignation. Teoh was suspended from radio soon after.

Patrick Teoh infront of his new restaurant
You might think that ducks would be a sore topic for Teoh but this plucky guy has no regrets.

“Come to think of it, it’s quite a silly matter actually,” says Teoh. “The issue was blown out of proportion and even the Ministry of Information got involved. This goes to show that Malaysians can’t really take a joke. But never mind that.

“I decided to get involved in the poultry business when Allan Phoon, who is now my partner, ate this delicious chicken in China. The meat was so tasty that he had to ask the restaurant what type of chicken it was.”

Phoon, 36, found out that the meat tasted different because the chicken, called cho kai in Chinese, was being fed and reared the organic way.

“We both like chicken but the meat we are used to is mostly from factory chickens, like the ones you get with your Hainanese chicken rice. The meat is always very smooth, tender and succulent-looking but is relatively tasteless. The flavour is all in the soya sauce,” points out Teoh.

As Phoon’s family is involved in the farming business, he and Teoh decided to rear their own organic chickens and ducks so that Malaysians would be able to enjoy the delectable meat.

So what makes their organic chickens and ducks different from factory birds?

Wild haruan is on the menu of Damansara Village@Imbi.
“Factory chickens take 30 days to mature but ours take 90 days,” explains Teoh.

“For the first 60 days, the chickens are allowed to roam freely, fed grains, corn, fruit and vegetable scraps and eating worms they find in the ground. We do not feed them chicken feed and they are not given antibiotics or injected with hormones. This results in their meat being very sweet.

We put them in cages for the last 30 days as we don’t want their meat to get too tough. It will be a nice texture. They will continue to eat the same food they have been eating for the past two months.”

Their two-acre farm in Sungkai, Perak, rears 60% chickens and 40% ducks, all of which are supplied to their newly opened Damansara Village @ Imbi restaurant.

“We can’t produce enough to sell commercially so we are just supplying to our restaurant for now. This makes it exclusive. The organic chicken is available at our Imbi restaurant but the organic duck is not on the menu yet. We will be introducing it in a few months’ time. Our other restaurant, Damansara Village Steamboat @ Damansara Jaya, will offer both dishes eventually,” says Teoh.

Their ducks are reared in a similar way, too, being allowed to roam freely for 60 days and fed fruit and vegetable scraps. Factory ducks mature in less than a month.

Surprisingly, they steam their ducks.

“Ducks are usually braised or roasted and are not usually steamed because of their strong smell. The only ingredient added to our organic chicken and duck dishes is salt. You get to savour the original taste of the meat as no herbs, MSG or spices are added at all,” adds Teoh proudly.

Besides the organic birds, Damansara Village @ Imbi also offers wild haruan or sang yee that is caught fresh from the Perak rivers by the orang asli.

“Most of the haruan you find in Chinese restaurants are farmed. They have a strong ‘fishy’ smell and a mushy taste. The orang asli catch about 10-12 wild haruan each week for us. The texture and taste of wild haruan are totally different as the flesh is firmer, almost cod fish-like, and there’s no muddy smell or taste,” explains Teoh.

Damansara Village @ Imbi,
32 & 34, Jalan Utara, off Jalan Imbi
(opposite Pasar Rakyat), Kuala Lumpur.
Non-halal, open from 11.30am-3pm
and 5pm-midnight
Tel: 03-2141-1678.

GPS 3°08'41.08" N 101°43'01.84" E

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Have a WILD lunch at Damansara Village @ Imbi

Damansara Village @ Imbi serves LUNCH!

Lunch time too hot for Steamboat? No worries.

Whet your apetite with these delicious lunch set menu's......

Damansara Village @ Imbi
Great food. Cool place.
Car park for hundreds of cars.

32&34 Jalan Utara
off Jalan Imbi
55100 Kuala Lumpur (behind Pasar Rakyat)

GPS 3°08'41.08" N 101°43'01.84" E

Monday, March 01, 2010

Fantastic Fact and Funny

Takpe, takpe. You orang pi dulu. Saya ada ... errr...mesyuarat, ok? Jom!
No I insist you guys drown...I mean dive first. I'll be right above...I mean behind you. Promise.

Did you all read the good news in The Sun today?

Our first submarine the KD Tunku Abdul Rahman is now able to dive. Defense Minister Ahmad Zahid said that problems with the sub have been rectified and that it was now fully operational.

But of course in Malaysia nobody really knows what the phrase, "fully operational" really means because............

When asked if he'd participated in the sub's maiden dive his answer was that he was advised against it but stressed that he had faith in the Royal Malaysian Navy officers.

When I read that I almost fell off my chair laughing.

"YB, you didn't go on the first dive of our country's first submarine ah?"
" la. Errrr......I was advised against it la. Heh heh heh...jom minum teh."