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Monday, March 01, 2010

Fantastic Fact and Funny

Takpe, takpe. You orang pi dulu. Saya ada ... errr...mesyuarat, ok? Jom!
No I insist you guys drown...I mean dive first. I'll be right above...I mean behind you. Promise.

Did you all read the good news in The Sun today?

Our first submarine the KD Tunku Abdul Rahman is now able to dive. Defense Minister Ahmad Zahid said that problems with the sub have been rectified and that it was now fully operational.

But of course in Malaysia nobody really knows what the phrase, "fully operational" really means because............

When asked if he'd participated in the sub's maiden dive his answer was that he was advised against it but stressed that he had faith in the Royal Malaysian Navy officers.


When I read that I almost fell off my chair laughing.

"YB, you didn't go on the first dive of our country's first submarine ah?"
"Errr...no la. Errrr......I was advised against it la. Heh heh heh...jom minum teh."

Niamah!!!



74 comments:

Vincenzo said...

Let's knock ourselves on the head as this is our beloved Bolehland where anything is possible! A submarine that cannot dive. Aeroplanes with no engines. A Mongolian murdered in Malaysia but immigration has no records of her entry. Doctored image that lost Pedra Branca. 20 distinctions in SPM but cannot "speaker da England". Proton name but Mitsubishi engine. 1Malaysia, 2Rules. And the list goes on and on. Since 1965, Mr Mentor LKY must be reading and laughing all the way to the bank at the parody that is Bolehland!

Anonymous said...

Next scene... while the sub is somewhere 300 fathoms looking for sotong or whatnot.. some poor f$%&^r will call...Oooi boss, skekaraan nak naik tapi tak dapat la...macam...boleh buka pintu ke??..
..reeeallly then there will be heroes...better idea why not take the whole lot of them on the maiden tour ???


Optimistus

pinsysu said...

advised not to die, sori sori, dive like that. ... insurance co won't pay my beneficiaries ...

Anonymous said...

This is a Malaysian (ahem UMNO) leader lah! You go first. You check it out. I follow when everything is OK. What is new?

donplaypuks® said...

Yeah Patrick,

That's exactly what the USA General said from his Pentagon office over the radio to his frontline troops in Vietnam:

"We're right behind you Sam!"

And the French President from Paris to the South Sea Islanders when testing the Hydrogen Bomb in Mururoa and Bikini atoll:

"There's no danger from radiation fall out at all (in France,that is)!"

Heh, heh, heh! Now, our scintillating PhD Defence Minister Zahid Hamidi joins the ranks of the brain dead!

Lol

dpp
We are all of 1 race, the Human Race

1 Malay-sia(L) said...

i read that this morning and spat coffee on the papers. LMAO...!!

artchan said...

good joke..fully operational. Wait another year and then see what happens when they tender out the maintenance contract on the submarines.

Anonymous said...

You so power post also need advisor meh ???

Chan said...

If he trusts the naval officers so much he should have brought the whole cabinet along!

Anonymous said...

this country so good 1, always make us laugh........... 1 funny Cuntry hor!

Leithaisor said...

I must be getting soft with age, but I would say give that Ahmad Zahid fella a bit of chance lah.

Going on test dive of a submarine which had major problems is not exactly a walk in the park; even for trained crews that may well be a difficult situation.

I would expect that even a dive in a properly working submarine is not exactly without some risk.

Since Zahid is no spring chicken, there may well be good grounds for him to be strongly advised not to go on the test dive, assuming he had every intention of doing so.

Indeed, the crew would have found it easier and safer to carry out the test (with the possibility of problems cropping up) without an untrained civilian VIP like Zahid on board to look after.

But still, Zahid should have thought it out and checked better first lah, before making his brave statement.

Azee said...

Better tah boleh selam than tak boleh timbul!

Anonymous said...

Malaysian politicians are an amazing lot ... with a competency level matching that of orang utans!! Ooops ... I offended the orang utans!!

Anonymous said...

Lame frogs talking....

Did u read this too?
http://news.malaysia.msn.com/top-stories/article.aspx?cp-documentid=3915053

Another katak di bawah tempurung trying to act 'well-informed'

niamah these imbeciles... biased & brainless! phui phui phui!


NO regards to POLITICIANS/ MINISTERS who are STUPENDOUS in STUPIDITY ,
Meow Kitty

Anonymous said...

now can dive but what if it cannot surface..?

ktteokt said...

One kind of typical KIASI minister! How to follow the "KEPIMPINAN MELALUI TELADAN" thing?

ahoo said...

To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason is like administering medicine to the dead.

We should have let the frenchman take a maiden ride first before sending in our minister. Afterall, the product is still under warranty and free service.

Ho ho ho said...

Didn't the Defence Minister said that he wanted to join the first dive after the repair ?

Anonymous said...

If minister scared to dive, no soldiers should go and dive and possibly die!

There must be risks involved,otherwise why advised against it?

Dopid TUDM pergi tidor lah... By P Ramlee.

Anonymous said...

Hello Pat,
Zahid is not stupid lah! He has 1 wive,3 mistresses, 10 anak and millions in the bank! Why take risk? I like the reporter who asked him the question.

Anonymous said...

...damn the @#p$%^&*m@....why give me this post, ...DAMN !!

Anonymous said...

WHAT ! die...oops ..dive with them ah ? you must be joking !?

Anonymous said...

hahahaha......another sabotage act from Ahmad Zahid !!

Najib, Rosmah and Razak baginda should be given the privilege to participate in the sub maiden dive, after all, the three's are the decision maker to acquire the SUB !!


Mofeed

Nagobonar said...

jom minum teh tarik

Anonymous said...

Make sense too .... Country cannot afford to lose a Minister ....it being the first dive what not.

Able seaman, we can, of course, send them out to sea on a sub procurred and brokered by politicians.

Having written this why am I feeling like s#*t

Uranus

Anonymous said...

Bolehland immigration has gone manual after the autogate broke down (or the sign said 'off line').

Time to pay the consultant big sum to be 'fully operational' again.

Zahrain RM2 said...

RM2 company can tender for the submarine maintenance. Faith is the word.

Anonymous said...

Corruption defined: No need for surat sokong. Just be an umnoputera, and carry hard cash for transaction.

Anonymous said...

HAHAHhahahahHAHAHhahahHhahahHhahaHhahahaha.........Oow! shit! I gave myself hernia!!! damn it!!

He was advised againts going into the sub for a dive BUT has faith in RMN, IE, "I have faith but I dont trust you navy flers laaa."

devious17

Henry said...

Must be his Doctor.

'Diving in a Sub can be bad for your health.'

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLL !

Anonymous said...

Nobody, nobody in the world named their submarine or any war machines after their country great men. I said that before....Imagine the news eport...now tunku Abdul Rahman can dive, tunku this tunku that, and guess what happen if they decide to scrap the sub? ...Tunku is sold to karung-guni and strip to pieces...Only a no brainer will named the sub after our late PM and thought it was a great idea...problem is the rest of equally pea brain or no brain agree without question...no brain to think how to question?

Anonymous said...

aiya, what if the sub cant float after diving?


ha2, ha2 memang boleh UMNO. RM500m commission for sub that cant dive initially but after diving takut cant float again.

Truly 1Malaysia

Anonymous said...

Hmm....let me think why the submarine cannot dive in the first instance. Ya! bcos of 'potong corners'! Huge commission have to be paid to the con-sultant so the manufacturer have to cut corners in order to cover back the huge fee paid out.I am not surprised if the sub springs some leaks later on.

Anonymous said...

My guess is that the advice came from his family.

amoker said...

We should put kataks like Hee, Osman, Zahrain , Tan into this sub. They can swim and jump mah. Pay loads of money and throw in a few Mercs, they will do it.

Anonymous said...

Malaysia afterall paid for a sub-marine, and got what they paid for...

If they had paid for a submarine, none of this would have happened.

Still, my guess is that the spirit of Altantuya is stopping it from going down, and who knows even prevent it from coming up.... wooooooooohhh !

Ralfie said...

Didn't he say that he'll join the maiden dive? I'm pretty sure he did.. Lemme dig the old papers.

mohd ali ismail said...

I am sad that you guys are not proud of this country's first sub.Be it able to sumerge or float we should keep our head high to own an over priced sub as a new addition to our defence armada.It is a feat and laudable.Lets hope that our sub's maiden dive is not its last.heheheh!

Anonymous said...

Very the malu to have such a$$h@le in our so call leadership.

"Fame I want, Die you go first"

Mat Ghengis said...

The curse of Althantuya is with the submarine...

Anonymous said...

Former deputy Chief Minister of Penang Mohd Fairus Khairuddin had been implicated in possible corruption and subsequently cleared by the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission (MACC) after he resigned from the Penang state government. He was also accused of incompetence.

Before the Fairus incident, two other PKR assemblymen in Perak were also accused of and were subsequently charged for corruption.

See the pattern.
It is UMNO's dirty plan to embrace dirty politicians.

The exit of Bayan Baru MP Datuk Seri Zahrain Hashim from PKR was also preceded by accusations by Penang Chief Minister Lim Guan Eng of abuse of power.

Anonymous said...

Umno: if they can't sodomise you, they'll strangle you. To HELL w all of them and to those who keep silent on these Atrocities.

I ask you too: "Vote For Our Rakyat's Future. Vote Pakatan Rakyat."

marina badawi said...

Anwar, you have just admitted you have great influence in the ACA with the Special Branch reporting to you. You kept the cases of Najib and buddies closed. Now that they are giving you hell, please remember to open up all cases when you take over Putrajaya. And don't forget the cases concerning Dr Mahathir Mohamad and his children.

Anonymous said...

Ha Ha Ha. Betul betul takda bola.

JLWH

SRT said...

It is with regret that SRT has to announce the postponement of Blackbird which was slated to run March 6-20th.

Blackbird is a very challenging play with a cast of two, that demands exceptional actors to make successful.

After three weeks of rehearsal, Patrick Teoh, who played the male protagonist, felt that he could not deliver what was required to do justice to the role. This has come as a huge disappointment to everyone involved with the production.

“As a professional actor, this has been the most challenging role I have ever taken on. The dream role for many actors is to eventually play Hamlet at least once in their career, because of its complexity. Blackbird has the potential to achieve that kind of appeal for an actor. I am sure audiences will appreciate and enjoy this as well once they’ve seen the play,” says actor Patrick Teoh, adding “I am hugely disappointed in myself that I could not deliver a performance that would do both the show and SRT proud. I appreciate all that SRT has done to help me and feel bad for letting SRT down.”

Anonymous said...

Talk thru arse:

“I will join the crew for a dive test,” he said, adding that the problem was “thankfully, quite minor and of no cost to us because the submarine is still under warranty.”
“Such equipment problems do happen at one time or another. Even Toyota had to recall thousands of its cars after defects were found,” he added.


Wa... he's comparing RM3.4b submarine with some commercial cars!! Hope the Scorpene comes with multiple aribags. Luckily, I'm driving Honda.

June.W said...

you jump I jump... but u gotta jump first lar, i'm just right behind u... kekekeke

k4kenny said...

There is something not right.... don't think so? After this zaid fler was so confident and made statement that he would "dive" with them suddenly pulled out the last minute. No, it is not that zaid fler got no balls but THE SUBMARINE IS REALLY CANNOT SURFACE AFTER DIVE BECAUSE WHEN THEY REPAIR THE CANNOT-DIVE-PROBLEM, NOW COMES THE CANNOT-SURFACE-PROBLEM!!! Then one after another the problems of water leaking, rooftop collapse, blackout, crew on fake MC.....so many problems laaaaaaa, so how to dive with them??? "Want me to die young ar", said the zaid fler.

Hahahahahaha, fcuking niamah!

niakong said...

Did someone say that he hoped the subs do come with airbags???

A casual remark it may seem but i think it's a genius idea. The airbags can be activated to float the sub if all other things fail!!!

niakong said...

Hmmmm.... You know, of late, there have been rumours saying that he has joined hands with another fellow to try to topple the PM.

So, perhaps he was just trying to prove otherwise and that he is still with the PM by adhering to the latter's motto ... "Performance Now, People First!"

Thus, the poor people down the line would have to go first to try the sub out.

Anonymous said...

Congrats! From NUMBNUTS to NOBALLS! What a major upgrade, Mr. Defence Minister! What next? To lie down in front of Tank to test if can stop on a dime or not?!?!?!?!

hakarah said...

PKR leaders have called on the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission to investigate red-hot speculation that Prime Minister Najib Razak had given his cousin a juicy Independent Power Plant contract so that they could finance the defections of at least ten Pakatan Rakyat federal lawmakers into the Umno-BN.

1roket said...

Date: 06.03.2010
Time: 7.30pm

DAP Kepong Liason Committee Dinner

Venue: Taman Usahawan playing field, 7th Mile Kepong;

Speakers: Lim Kit Siang, Anwar Ibrahim, Tok Guru Nik Aziz, Tan Seng Giaw, Anthony Loke, Nga Kor Ming

Anonymous said...

Boikot the blue box!!!

BN made money from fish mongers!!

Anonymous said...

Wonder if this submarine will become another 'bocor' case?

the Razzler said...

ROFL... :)

Anonymous said...

He no mean what he talk, he no talk what he mean. As usual it's all talk talk, talk big, talk cock, but no walk the talk.

Anonymous said...

Sorry to post this here, Patrick. Tried sending you an email, but your contact icon doesn't work.

Patrick, if you want to add to your Fantastic Facts and Funnies, how about this one : "Rais Yatim says: think "a thousand times" before entering a mixed marriage"

This fellar was commenting on a studies done more than 10 years ago?! And he is the Information, Communication and Cultural minister??

Fairus said...

Proton was nothing more than a not so subtle method of taxing the ordinary people and moving money into the hands of AP cronies.

The way the report was phrased, one would have thought that Proton was a roaring success. Nothing could be further from the truth!

"Proton started with an initial investment of only RM480 million 25 years ago. Since then, it had evolved and given a return of RM4 billion and another RM18 billion of income to the government."

Proton caused an instant increase in the cost of living for Malaysians by artificially boosting the prices of cars. A whole generation of Malaysians have known nothing other than expensive cars due to Proton.

And yet Proton cannot deliver a car with power windows that worked reliably.

There will be only 5 to 6 car manufacturers worldwide that can survive and the rest would be gone in the very near future. The car giants like GM, Renault, Opel,...... all are facing big problems. Many people during Tun Maverick's tenure as PM (eg. criticised by Prof. Jomo....) advising him to abolish (scrap) this useless Proton Car Project, however, Tun Maverick never have a hear to listen and becoming so ugly states of today situations.

Hukum Katak said...

It is no surprise that the PKR frogs had met Najib before they quit the party.

Firstly, they know they will not be nominated again by any party for the next elections, because who wants to vote such untrustworthy and unreliable people?

This is the only chance they can ask for money from BN while they are still wakil rakyat.
Secondly, once they can be paid by BN to leave PKR why not?

Thirdly, this is the only once in a lifetime opportunity to make a quick buck.

Politics for long term had never been in their blood!!!!!
All they want is to get a free ride and also get paid!!!!!

Anonymous said...

It's correct to say.....

We have brain drain in our country. Look what got left behind to "dive" the country....!!!!!

Sigh...............
Say 4 lor...!!

Anonymous said...

mr pm, don't u think your minister, 'defence' some more woh, is so so funny one? in chinese, we may term it as very 'sia suey'. Have u had a good talk one on one with him following his statement which seems to be a big joke in town? or u jz couldn't be bothered with what he said?

anak mami said...

" Jais turut mendedahkan dasar komuniti perniagaan dan sektor swasta Cina di negeri itu yang mewajibkan syarat menguasai bahasa Mandarin untuk calon yang mahu mencari pekerjaan. “Perkara itu adalah mustahil bagi orang Melayu. Ini benda yang tak masuk akal dan kita sedar bahawa inilah agenda dia sebenarnya dan ke mana arah dia nak bawa Pulau Pinang ini memang cukup jelas bagi kita,” katanya. – Berita Harian"

Come on laa, for how much longer do you want that crutch? You expect the crutch to be used and handed down for generations? Bahasa Malaysia can and will only be used in Malaysia, wake up,stop dreaming of Bahasa Malaysia replacing english! Bahasa Cina will be used next to english ,like it or not.

If the Bumi-less can and have mastered Bahasa Malaysia amongst other languages I cant fathom what is the fuss about learning Chinese.

Dont expect the world to kow-tow and hand you your contracts and what not on a silver plater laaa, jangan bikin malu!

The Politician said...

Haha, I totally agree with you! Almost every words that comes out of a politician are fake.

Anonymous said...

It can dive can, can it?

Now those navy men are really sunk!!!

Rakyat didahulukan said...

To PR supporters, the struggle continues and awakening the nation continues and preparing for tomorrow continues and as RPK said yesterday, selecting the candidates starts today and PKR should subject them to Bay’ah like PAS. Like Chinua Achebe said, for every noble cause, few heads must roll and along the way the men and women who are fighting evil must meet evil and feel pain but we shall overcome.

Anonymous said...

wonder how much rakyats' money was spent on one after another sick frogs jumping over to the other fence? Boy, RM50 was collected for each credit card from rakyat's hard earned money and there goes millions for staying in power for the next season. People, what r we waiting for? asia utk orang asia. how about Wang Rakyat utk Rakyat? I don't mind PR using it as a propoganda for the coming GE.

Ho ho ho said...

Jangan lah condemn dia. Dia ni bukan orang laut. Di minat naik moto

Anonymous said...

a bunch of idiots... for all you know, we bough a dead sub to begin with. then they made another round of money from repairs. the rakyat got fcuk'ed twice !

Anonymous said...

memang UMNO Boleh. Memang BODOH. thats Cabinet calibre for you guys, UMNO style and substance.

Anonymous said...

Time for our sub-marine to dive into action!!!

An unidentified terrorist group is planning attacks against oil tankers in the Malacca Strait, one of the world's busiest shipping lanes, the Singapore Navy and a shipping association said Thursday.

Anonymous said...

How to know for certain that the sub really cant dive. These military types are fond of deception and mis/disinformation.

And How to be sure there was only one sub floating visibly? Could it actually be looking or tailing something other than sotongs?

NIAMAHTOO

Anonymous said...

An unrepentant adulterer or a tainted health minister (remember the Alphard episode) carrying out the commands of the mother of all racist parties in Bolehland will not redeem MCA but hasten its demise. MCA chief Ong Tee Keat should join Pakatan Rakyat where his courage and fortitude will hasten the dawning of a new day for Malaysian society.

Anonymous said...

TheStar (today),

"KJ: Why Anwar still the leader of the opposition?"
Answer - Why the F#*k is KJ still the Umno Youth leader?? Even Pak Lah also cannot understand... after he was found guilty for $$ politics.

"@#*&@ SAWAN wanna share his space journey experience with all children".
Comment - But his book is blood sucking expensive for kids. This blardy lucky guy after spending RM70mil of the rakyat $$, wants to build a space hub in Negeri 9. Somemore ask gov to support (again wanna suck our $$). Proper astronauts will talks about their research & more scientific issues. This guy just talk about his experience... darn, even a walk from my old house to the jamban.. also go experience wat."

LimBU

Nuffnang