Google AdSense

Monday, March 08, 2010

Quite funny

Malaysia! We welcome all pendatang (immigrants). Well, almost all la.

My cousin sent me this which I found quite funny. In a tragic sort of way. So I thought I'd share it with you this Monday. To kind of kick-start your week la. Enjoy......

If you cross the North Korean border illegally
You get 12 years hard labour.

If you cross the Iranian border illegally
You will be jailed indefinitely.

If you cross the Afghan border illegally
You will be shot.

If you cross the Chinese border illegally
You will never be heard from again.

If you are Indonesian and cross the Malaysian border illegally you will get......

MyPR (Permanent Residence status/Pemastautin Tetap)
A driving licence maybe a taxi driver's licence if you like.
Voting rights
Job reservation
Eventual Bumiputra status
Subsidised rent or loans to buy a house
Free education
Free healthcare
Total acceptance as "one of us"

Malaysia! What a country!



Anonymous said...

Sure or not? Where does this come from? Let me tell my Indon friends so they can spread this 1Malaydonesia good news.

By the way, PM snubbed the MCA AGM but attended the golf event. What a shame... golf is more important that the 2nd largest component party in Malaysia. OTK boleh! Boleh belah!! Hehehe

zane said...

Very true indeed! But not only Indos,even the burmese who have crossed over the border all the way to terengganu en mass have become a secure voting bank to my present MB, Ahmad Said...ask the ketengah agency, they know.

Anonymous said...

Its not funny, its the truth, a truth that so will scare the wit out of all Malaysian...... that you will soon be dominated.

By Yang

ktteokt said...

Just a true to life demonstration of "MALAYSIA BOLEH" (mati)!

Ho ho ho said...

You hear of PRs who are not in the professional jobs categories being commiting crimes. Whereas, the real professionals have problems getting PR.

Anonymous said...

Hello Pat,
Sorry lah...mistake ok!
If you are an Indonesian of Malay race or look like Malay lah....

Anonymous said...

dat's why one indo tukang gigi can own a rm24,000,000.00 mansion after
taking up politics instead of digging stinking mulut & pulling teeth !

Anonymous said...

the most relevant reason is the voting right. surely they will thank the g. then they get everything else. right?

Aaron said...

Malaysia Boleh! Rasuah pun boleh!

KP said...

You will also have the opportunity of being a Chief Minister and build your multi million mansion ala balinese style.

Anonymous said...

Only for certain skin-color sahaja-lah!

cicak said...

LOL! and the Indonesians said we were mean?

Patricia said...

You very the funny, wan, lah, Patrick!

I enjoyed this one immensely - although I must admit, I did kinda predict the punch-line(s)! ;)

Anonymous said...

Anwar condemned the country’s Islamic authorities’ move to cane Muslims for syariah offences, describing it as a selective prosecution.

“The son of former Prime Minister Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad bought over a brewery in the Philippines, but no Umno ustaz dares to speak but they want ordinary people,” said Anwar, referring to Datuk Mirzan Mahathir’s stake in brewer San Miguel Corp.

Puzongzai said...

After all, all the tax payer's money to 'adopt' those immigrants. Even local Chinese & Indian also have no such good treaty. Pui! Niamah!

Anonymous said...

hey, it's not funny.It's the damn fking true.

Son of Zorro said...

If you’re someone visiting Malaysia as a tourist, you won’t see anything too unpleasant. If you have been here for sometime, you’ll understand that there are ‘certain ways’ to do things and for all intents and purposes, these are ways to ‘work around’ issues where money is inevitably involved in buying favours, squirming out of premeditated problems or fast-tracking permits and licences. Even foreign companies have learned that Malaysia’s modus operandus involves a strong dose of questionable morals in order to get things done.

apco-nem said...

Key features of Najib's new economic model(NEM):

1. Pre-register soldiers as early as possible and do a multiple deployment at various election points during election day – these are used instrumentally in crucial safe seats and must-win electorates

2. Don’t discount gerrymandering because this is one way to weaken traditionally strong electorates for the opposition – if they can force the mergers of certain neighbouring seats of power, they may be able to manipulate the chance of winning to their advantage

3. Employ foreign expertise (India anyone?) in Internet security and pay them handsomely to hack into opposition blogger sites, ruin their database servers, destroy their login management and generally cause costly havoc – this is chiefly to thwart Raja Petra Kamarudin’s influence

4. Further undermining of the PKR-based Selangor state government by dividing PAS allegiance – central to the government’s agenda is to win back the premier state at all costs including lives (as we have now seen)

5. Heighten more MACC hits on opposition leaders and politicians – this is aimed to discredit the opposition political power and shame them in public

6. Nail Anwar Ibrahim’s ass once and for all, chuck him in jail, cripple him and throw the key away – so long as the status quo amongst the opposition remains the same, putting him away for good is key to nullifying the main threat to the government

7. Persistently play the religious card amongst the rural Malay population and to force PAS to show its hand of allegiance to Islam and hopefully force them to leave the Pakatan Rakyat alliance – it is obvious that the integrity of this alliance will be broken if they can compel – not PKR or DAP – but PAS to abandon

8. Secretly buying up favours with various pockets of influence amongst the Chinese communities by way of promising lucrative projects with profitable returns in return for votes – the government always believes that the Chinese are the easiest to corrupt because of their relative material greed

Anonymous said...

Quote of the week

Second Finance Minister Datuk Ahmad Husni Mohd Hanadzlah: “Kalau orang Cina di Pulau Pinang buli kita, kita lawan balik orang Cina”.

Truly Niamah!

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Ceramah Perdana Pakatan Rakyat;

Date: 09.03.2010
Time: 8.30pm

Venue: Oakland Commerce Park, Seremban (behind of Columbia Hospital)

Speakers: Anwar Ibrahim, Lim Kit Siang, Loke Siew Fook, etc.

Enquiries: 06-767 4557

Anonymous said...

we chinese will be chased out our homes and country, but the indons will enjoy all the benefits, even the Ketuanan thingie... soon, the 'racial cleansing' will begin, as what happened in Indon in the 90s.... Dark & gloomy future for all of us!
Malaysia is heading for D@@Msday!
Let's all say N I A M A H while we still can!!!

Meow Kitty

Anonymous said...

talk is cheap. niamah !

monsterball said...

hahahahahaha...And there is a big write up and photo of you at today's .Straits Times.
You never grow old at all!!!

patrickteoh said...

hey monsterball. NST? I don't'buy NST. What was the photo about?

Anonymous said...


Do you know the originator of this idea of giving MyKad to immigrants?

It is none other than Anwar Ibrahim. He came up with this brilliant idea for Mahathir when Anwar was told to fix the issue in Sabah/Sarawak to secure votes for BN.

Now, this idea is replicated for use in Semenanjung as well.

Anonymous said...

Due to the pressure from Ibrahim ali's Perkasa, Najib has decided that taking the wraps off his long-awaited New Economic Model is politically too dangerous for now. According to local media, although Najib who doubles as Malaysia's finance minister, had been scheduled to introduce his new policy at the end of March, it is apparently off til June and he may not even introduce it himself, letting someone else take the heat.

Yo Yo Mojo said...

Frozen in time like Austin Power?

Georgetown, Penang was founded 224 years ago. Of this time, the British ruled it for about 175 years. Within this long period of time, nothing was done to change the culture or value system of the Malays. The Malays were frozen in time. For those who are unable to grasp what this means – Malay values and attitudes is still largely the same as what it was 224 years ago. Whatever the British needed, they imported products and immigrant labour to cater to their needs. So shouldn’t the British take most of the blame for the Malay condition?

With independence, the solution used to modernize the Malays was to give them handouts – “land, concessions, permits, ‘pink slips’ on new stock exchange listings, and whatnot”. This was refined into the artificial creation of Malay artificial millionaires with APs, monopolies, contracts and “whatnot”.

Anonymous said...

Najib’s New Economic Model is to encourage you to drive to work in golf buggy with the immediate abolition of import duty on all golf buggies. Environmentally friendly with lower carbon footprint?

Or it is going to be Malaysian's version of 'Tut Tut' on the road like Thailand?

Perkasa will soon argue that it will encourage golf among Malaysians, but with malays being caddies to non-malays!

artchan said...

And the Indonesians want to "gayang" Malaysians? They must be real stupid!!!

k4kenny said...

Pat, I also received what u published today in my email. One thing for sure ....many people have pointed out, that is Indonesians supposedly working in in construction sector are now also towkay besar in Land of Boleh. Soon, all the Indon maids will be able to do the same.

ravin perumal said...

Can somebody start a countdown clock to Malaysia's implosion. I guess we can have it running by the number of Malaysian Chinese and Indians emigrating until the population of "immigrants" reaches zero or until the next racial riot starts by incrementing the clock whenever there is a racial comment by BN and idiots.

Anonymous said...

Sounds KHIR TOYO...his father was from he is MORE MALAYSIAN than a lot of Chinese pendatangs whose forefathers were in M'sia long before his father was even BORN...

monsterball said...

Well need to buy this one...big photo...and one page write up.
I just looked at your grinning naughty face and laugh.
Go buy this one la.

monsterball said...

PLEASE BUY TODAY's Straits Times!!

monsterball said...

You lucky fell...have businesses that focus on people craving for nice food.
Me...must depend on rich companies to buy my goods.
Any vacancy for a real great Hylam Chief waiter in your restaurant?

Zeroed said... least they're more hardworking that you-know-who....

mohd ali ismail said...

Chow Kit Market is monopolised by Indonesian traders and some of us Malaysians avoid that market for fear that we would be harased or scolded by them.Shame on us as we are to blame for allowing them to enter Malaysia indiscriminately.

Shiok Guy said...

Case Study!

Sabah! Check how many people have settle in Sabah from Philippines? They might be out numbered the Sabahan soon, or even now!

Project IC?

Shiok Guy

Anonymous said...

Many years ago when I was a site manager (construction) I had an Indonesian showing me authentic looking IC and Malaysian birth cert of his children born in Indonesian and he told me he had just arrived on the Malaysian shore for less than a month!
He paid only a couple of hundred of Ringgit to a Malay "official" for it.
At that time he came to me for a job and he was truthful about it.
That was many years back when the exodus of the illegal Indonesians started when it happened.
I am sure he is still here and is now calling me a pendatang and enjoying Bumiputra status.

Anonymous said...

Malaysia, truly the lucky country ! Why didn't I know this before ? I would have stayed back but alas I love my foreskin.

A man is rich bcos he doesn't give away his money so readily. Oh malaysia, don't say I didn't warn you.

Anonymous said...

Truer than true.


Anonymous said...

Brother, funny but true la.

Anonymous said...

Husni (the racist 2nd Finance Minister) said that he was very happy that his son shares his ice-cream with his friends of different races at school.

He got to check what 'ice cream' is to the youngsters nowadays *hint: F@lla#$%)

Anonymous said...

niamah betul!

Anonymous said...

There is a saying......."The people deserves the government they elected"
So, if you elected donkeys, you deserved those donkeys lah!!
Padan Muka... or, Serves,you, Malaysian right!

Anonymous said...

Tiu lia Sing!!!

Anonymous said...

Malaysia set to be 'shoe capital of the East'


KUALA LUMPUR: Besides scenic spots, culture, shopping and food, the Tourism Ministry is embarking on shoes as an attraction to promote Malaysia to the world.
Tourism Minister Datuk Seri Dr Ng Yen Yen said a three-day 1Malaysia International Shoe Festival would be held from April 2 to promote the country as the shoe capital of the East.

Malaysian-born world-renowned shoe designer Datuk Jimmy Choo will also showcase his 10 most successful shoe creations and deliver a talk at the event at the Putra World Trade Centre here.

Ng said the number of tourists who shopped for shoes in Malaysia increased by 19.9 per cent last year compared to 2008.

"We hope that this year, sales will increase by up to 25 per cent and will stimulate the Malaysian economy," she told reporters.

Common-lah, do something more practical please. After Laksa, Roti Canai, Chicken Rice... now shoes. All this only a short-term fame.
Sell shoes to spruce the Malaysian economy????

Size14noKLbutBKK said...

shoe capital???? i had to go to thailand bangkok to get my size 14 shoes. no size 14 shoes in KL....!!! believe that !!!!!

Anonymous said...

Madam Ng made the job of Tourism Minister so simple that a secondary school drop-out can be one.

This is not a compliment.

Anonymous said...

Yes, quite funny Uncle Patrick.

Because more than a hundred years or so ago, your ancestors did exactly the same thing and the reaction of the locals was also the same.

Anonymous said...

makes you wonder if malay population still maintain the most in malaysia or they are recruiting indo quietly ?

Anonymous said...

Isn't it good news? Thank God we are no longer the only pendatang in this country.

Anonymous said...

Isn't it good news? Thank God we are no longer the only pendatang in this country.