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Tuesday, October 26, 2010

It ain't over til the fa...first lady sings

Just when you thought it was safe and sane again I discovered that there's more of the fa...first lady singing. It appears that she actually has an album, Lagenda Cinta!!! If you have the stomach for it here is a duet with Mawi!!! Mawi singing and she very obviously reading from idiot cards off-screen. Enjoy!

When these videos appeared on the Internet the comments came in fast and furious.

She can't sing for nuts!
Tax-payers' money used to make a music video?

And there were many more. Some more colourful and descriptive than others. But to be fair let us review the Fa...I mean First Lady's music video objectively okay.

Okay, so she can't really sing. Agreed.

Ready, steady BARF! Well she ain't as bad as some karaoke singers I've heard.

We don't really know if public funds were used to make the music video. So we mustn't jump to conclusions.

Shameless display of corny mush? You could also look at it as part of a savvy strategy to win votes. Malaysians love mushy stuff. If only Rosmah had chosen a tear-jerker instead of an inspirational love song she might single-handedly win the next General Elections for Umno and the Barisan Nasional. Scary.

Perhaps the Opposition should try this new tact too. What do you think they should sing?

Anwar Ibrahim
Nik Aziz
Lim Guan Eng
Karpal Singh
Lim Kit Siang

Come, join in and let's have some fun. If your suggestion is really good/funny/ridiculously hilarious I will buy you a good dinner at Damansara Village Steamboat Restaurant ( Really one!


Sunday, October 24, 2010

I am Malaysian

I am Malaysian and proud of it!

Deputy Prime Minister, Muhyiddin Yassin, at the Umno general assembly, proudly announced......

"My late father was Bugis.My late mother was a Javanese. I am Malay."

After reading that I thought I would join in the light-hearted exchange by declaring......

"My late father was born in Malaya. My late mother was from China. I am Malaysian!"

Come on, join the fun. Shout it out! Be proud. And be part of the Malaysian root.


Friday, October 22, 2010

Billion Ringgit palace

One man's home is another man's palace

I am sure you all know by now that the new Istana Negara is going to cost Malaysian tax-payers in excess of RM1billion by the time it is completed. Just the other day someone sent me a piece of comparative trivia. According to this story, the Singapore government spent SGD200million and built themselves a world class desalination plant that produces potable water that surpasses WHO standards! People's money spent for the benefit of the people. Yes? Now, I am sure our government spends for the benefit of the Rakyat too. After all, there are banners all over town the past few days with Najib's face and proclaiming "Rakyat Didahulukan" (citizens' needs come first?)

I am a loyal Malaysian citizen. I love my country. And the Agung is my king and has my respect and loyalty. And whether you are Malay, Chinese or Indian or any one of the races that make up Bangsa Malaysia.Whether you are a kampung or city dweller. Whether you are a farmer or a university graduate. Whether you support Barisan Nasional or Pakatan Rakyat. If you have an ounce of intelligence. You must ask of the powers that approved the RM1billion extravagance......



Sorry. Since it is the start of the weekend let's have a few laughs to go with that.

Let's start with one from one of the masters of political comedy...

"I use public transport once in a while" - Syed Hamid Albar, former Foreign Minister and current chairman of the Land Public Transport Commission.

"......commercials on sanitary pads are openly shown on TV and this could influence the young to get involved in social ills" - Johor Puteri Umno delegate Azura Mohd Afandi.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Thank you, folks!

I'm okay, thanks. Really one.

Hello everyone. I have not been updating the Niamah!!! blog for sometime.

I just want to say "Thank you" to all of you who've been writing to ask if I am alright. Some even went as far as to ask if I was in jail somewhere up north. Sorry. I hate to disappoint you but it is nothing as dramatic as that. I have not been blogging mainly because I am getting so tired, as I am sure some of you are too, of what is being said and what is happening in the country the past few months. It is very hard to maintain a sense of humour with all the goings-on. I just feel like chucking it la. Don't you sometimes? But I love my country too much. And frankly, where else is there to go where the food is so good?

And now that budget has been announced I guess there is something to laugh about. If you're masochistic. Frankly, I have not really read it in detail. But I heard that hand-phones are going to cost a bit less now. Too bad la those of you who queued up and got your iPhone 4. But I guess if you're one of those a couple of per cent ain't going to make any difference to your financial budget.

Along with the budget I also know that the PM announced the building of Warisan Merdeka, the centre-piece of which is a 100-storey tower building. Taller than the Twin Towers and at current ratings second only to the Burj Kalifa in Dubai (I guess we all know what happened to their pockets). He also told us not to worry because the flers building this tower (PNB) are not going to use any of 'our' money or government's money (I thought it was the same thing. No ah?) Err...okay Mr. Prime Minister. If you say so.

Okay, I am not getting into the debate about the 'need' for another prime ministerial tombstone here. But what worries me is what are the residents of Kuala Lumpur going to do about the traffic gridlock that will be caused by the construction of this tower which at some point will coincide with the construction of the MRT? Both projects will be in the city centre, right? Can you imagine the traffic situation then? I shudder at even the thought of it. Do countries grant temporary emigrant status ah? Maybe we should move for the time they will take to build the Warisan Merdeka and the MRT ya?

Along with the 2010 Budget I also came to know that the budget for the new Istana Negara has gone up by another RM147million which means the new palace when completed would have cost the Malaysian taxpayer close to 1billion Ringgit!!! I think I shall avoid driving my daughter, Laura past the building site. I really don't know how to answer her question about money for palaces vs money for schools if she asks again.

I also read in the papers today that at the current Umno general assembly delegates have been heeding the PM and DPM's call to be moderate when debating on sensitive issues. Just goes to prove that Umno members are all very good and will follow their leaders' example. So if they have been less than moderate, waved weapons around and called for blood in past general assemblies they were merely doing the bidding of their Umno leaders. Right? So, Mr. Najib I would choose my words more carefully.


Monday, October 11, 2010

Monday Funnies

They are not pendatang! Okay!!!

Rarely do our politicians disappoint us on Mondays. They usually come up with the funnies to help us start the week off right. Right? When I looked at The Star today there were so many laughable stories I just had to share with you lah. Even at the expense of attracting sneak attacks from the cyber-troopers who seem to be making regular skirmishes to this blog.


Nothing wrong with Najib saying that. It's the truth after all. So who was he directing this statement to? Even more funny, he said that when he was addressing the MCA annual general meeting yesterday!!! Yes, of course we know that he was directing his statement to people/groups who have in the recent past raised the sensitive issue about the contributions and relativity of non-Malays in Malaysia. But would it not have been more effective and believable if Najib had chastised the people/groups when they made those racist remarks rather than just make a shamelessly 'sucking up' type of declaration at a meeting of the Malaysian CHINESE Association?


On page N2 of The Star today there is a nice photo of Najib shaking hands with eager 'fans' as he toured the Lembah Pantai area. Nothing funny in that. But during his visit to the area Najib announced a special allocation of RM6.5million for...wait for it......Maintenance works and repainting of housing blocks in 3 areas in Old Klang Road!!! It takes the prime minister to approve a housing area maintenance job??? That only proves a) the local flers in charge aren't doing shit! b) this prime minister really doesn't have the support for more than just approving paint jobs or c) Najib is just doing a Umno/BN thing ahead of the next G.E.


And over at Shah Alam the Pakatan flers are trying their hands at being hoteliers. They are planning to rent out the bungalows in the Exco Village in Section 7. And a better deal you will not find anywhere else. Each bungalow is going to be rented out at only RM170 per night. Which is roughly the price of a decent hotel room in the Shah Alam area. But with PR deal you have a whole bungalow complete with outdoor swimming pool and jacuzzi.


The opening line of this story in today's Star is quite funny. It says, "Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak and Datuk Seri Dr Chua Soi Lek took aim at racist politicians by condemning their brand of opportunistic politics, especially on the "pendatang" issue."

Unless, the aim of the BN flers have drastically improved and they start naming targets and actually pull the trigger this statement ain't going to mean shit. Except as some comic relief for life in Malaysia on a Monday.


Thursday, October 07, 2010

It's' not hormonal. Just limp-dick law enforcement.

Racing hormones

Quite a bunch of us ordinary folks were quite stunned by Assoc. Prof. Dr. Rozmi Ismail when she announced that Mat Rempits are the results of hormonal activity. Worse, she finished by saying that Rempits were an unstoppable activity and we can only hope that the youngsters will become responsible once they have passed adolescence. That last bit prompted scores of incredulous comments from Malaysians especially parents and ex-victims of Rempit activity. But the best comment came from my friend, Steve which I would like to share with you here......

I'll tell you a true story. I was in Bandung a few years ago and noticed a sizeable motorcycle population. I asked my taxi driver whether they ever had a "Mat Rempit" problem. I had to explain what Mat Rempit was of course. He said "Yes, but its all stopped now". I asked how it was solved, and he said very nonchalantly "Polisi tembak". I kid you not.

And to think they send us their people to work as maids?


Wednesday, October 06, 2010

Turning out to be a hilarious week

(Sob, sob, sob) Please lah. Respect sikit.

Have you noticed that of late there has been a lot of talk about "respect"? The police flers are asking for respect. The YB's constantly demand of us respect for this, that and the other. And now the DPM has said that PKR's Azmin Ali was being disrespectful to Mahathir when the former referred to the ex-PM as a 'fallen leader'. The DPM said that the action was 'contradictory to our values...'. What I don't understand is, what the fuck are our values these days? Perhaps if the DPM would explain that to us first before demanding respect for this, that and the other we might be more receptive. I mean, at the rate that respect is demanded of us Malaysians we might as well wear a collar round our necks, a serial number on our foreheads and replace the Indonesians on construction sites for no pay! You know what I mean? One day we might even be building pyramids to house the remains of the people that we "respect". Oh what the hell! Let's go all the way lah. Call Malaysian prime ministers Pharoahs instead. Then it will be RESPECT or else! Errr......isn't it like that already? Hmmm....

Another funny from the MSM is the announcement from Muhyiddin when he launched the 1Malaysia Milk programme in Kota Kinabalu. He said, "We want to see a future generation that is smarter, stronger and bigger." Huh? I thought that would require good schools an education system that works, sports and good nutrition. No ah? Oh I see....just drink 1Malaysia Milk issit? WAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Damn good man! Then later in the same speech he said that Malaysia only produces 4% of the milk it needs while the rest is imported from New Zealand and other countries. What??? You mean our children are drinking milk from those decadent Western countries who don't subscribe to our VALUES ah? How can man? After that our children grow smarter, stronger and bigger and then don't respect us then how?

You must have read about the BTM fler who alledgedly uttered racist remarks at a Puteri Umno closed-door function. The fler, Hamim Husin supposedly used words like SiSepet and SiBotol to describe Malaysians of non-Malay origin. Cannot, right? Not nice, right? Well Perkasa said it was okay because Hamim's speech was in a closed-door event. That's right. HUH!!!??? Motor-mouth, Nazri said it was just remarks from an individual. Yeah! And that individual just happened to be the assistant director of the Biro Tata Negara. Anyway, my point was this. You would think that an incident like this would warrant quick investigation into the allegations of racism by a senior government officer, right? But apparrently, the fler Hamim has now lodged a police report against the online news portal that broke the story. Apparently, the reporter broke the law when he/she entered the closed-door event without permission. Laughable isn't it? Want to Tai Chi also do properly la. Maybe that's why the fler is only Assistant director. Hahahahahaha......

Okay, perhaps the funniest headline in a newspaper story, unless Najib or Muhyiddin or Hishammuddin come up with something before the end of the week, is the one in yesterday's Star page N14.

"I won't interfere in MIC affairs, says Samy Velu"

Funny, right? Many flers have used that sort of line before. Lee Kuan Yew, Mahathir and now good old Samy. Next may be Kim Jong Il when he hands over North Korea to his son.

And then ah, before we all become too harsh with Ng Yen Yen perhaps you might like to know that several countries are now seeking our help to develope their own tourism products. Who? Well, Laos is getting our "technical" help for Visit Laos Year 2012. And you thought making leaky roofs was a cinch. Ha! Who else? Brunei is also asking us for help with tourism development. And right away, being a person who knows tourism products like the back of her hand Yen Yen announced that Brunei has much to offer tourists with its beautiful mosques and museums. Chad and Sudan are queueing up for our pertolongan (help). Your apologies for doubting Yen Yen's talents may be sent through your local MCA branch. Thank you.

Are there ghosts haunting the site
where cosmetics millionairess Sosilawati and others were murdered? This question was asked of our brave men in blue. The police la. "No!" was the reply from Dep Comm Khalid Abu Bakar. “No, I did not hear anything like that. In fact, I have gone to the location many times during the day and late at night. Never once did I or my men hear or see anything peculiar.”

Wah! Now the PDRM are ghost-busters too?

Here's an obscure but scary statement that is buried in page N27 of The Star today.

Assoc Prof. Dr. Rozmi Ismail, the head of the Perkasa Camp Centre for Youth Empowerment says, "Rempit is an unstoppable activity. We can only hope that the youngsters will become responsible once they have passed adolescence." Shit! That's not funny.


Friday, October 01, 2010


It's Friday. And I have found good reasons to celebrate the weekend and celebrate our wonderful country and its amazing children. Watch, listen and see how 1Malaysia is alive and well. No thanks to the Y.B.'s

Thank you, Khairuddin and the Lowe's team for sharing.