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Niamah!!! in Chinese

Niamah!!! Chinese version YorMarder!!! http://niamahinchinese.blogspot.com/

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Things I learned today


I knew there was a reason why I still spend money buying MSM newspapers like The Star. (Well, I don't buy the NST because my maid says they weigh less when she sells them.)  Almost every single day in the newspapers I find world-class comedy or fantastic facts that I would otherwise miss.

For example today's front page of The Star announces that Sarawak Chief Minister Taib Mahmud has given the clearest hint yet that state elections will be held soon.  The CM said he had an inspiration on the date.  "I have my inspiration but I won't tell you when," he said. Wah! Terror or not? Taib had recently returned from a pilgrimage to Mecca. Maybe that had something to do with his uncanny power of foretelling the future.

Here's a quiz to test your general knowledge.

Which is the next Asian country to have a) a leaky parliament building, b) cracked highway over-passes, c) a public transport system with LRT's, MRT's and buslines that don't connect to each other d) collapsible stadiums, e) lots of empty very tall buildings? 

Answer:  Laos

Why?

The Star reported today that PM Najib announced that Malaysia has offered its expertise in the construction of infrastructure to Laos. Poor flers!

A funny story on page N3 of The Star says that the Negeri Sembilan JPJ chief has been transferred to Putrajaya following a probe my the MACC on charges of power abuse by his officers. I am sure this is something very uniquely Malaysian.  Some government official screws up and gets caught or is accused of doing something really bad.  What happens? He gets transferred! In the private sector he'd be suspended with no pay or his ass would be fired if allegations of wrongdoing were true. But the Kerajaan flers get transferred.  Why ah?

Now when you stuck in the Mid Valley/1Utama/Sg.Wang/Pavilion traffic jams and are cursing under your breath you can do so in the comforting thought that tourists shopping contributed RM15.1billion to the country's coffers last year and is set to increase to RM16billion in 2011.  Tourism minister, Ng Yen Yen is suitably proud of this fact when she also announced that from January 1, 2011 Malaysia is going to be a "duty-free" country where, except for cigars and cigarettes, liquor and imported cars everything else will be duty-free. With such announcements from the BN government being published in the MSM almost everyday how can the Opposition hope to win the next general elections?

And speaking of the Opposition, Anwar Ibrahim may be suspended from parliament for saying that the 1Malaysia concept may be linked One Israel. Apparently, Anwar was supposed to have misled (don't you love that word when applied to our YB's) the House by linking the 1Malaysia concept to the One Israel campaign.  Wah! Like that also grounds for suspension ah? Oh. Oh yeah I forgot Anwar is the Opposition mah.  Understand now.

There is this very funny report today about condominium Joint Management Bodies (JMB's) and disgruntled owners/residents.  Dep. Housing and Local Government Minister Lajim Ukin told the Dewan Rakyat that 10,640 complaints against JMB's were received by the ministry in 2009.

"We have forwarded the complaints to the respective JMB's for further action", he said. Huh?  I assume that residents/owners would have been fed up dealing the JMBs and therefore they brought their grouses to the ministry. No? So you send the complaints back there for what, YB? Very expensive to maintain your ministry to act as courier service isnit?

And finally, the Seremban court complex has been burglarised for the 2nd time in 3 months.  But the funny thing is that the report in The Star said that investigators could not ascertain whether the CCTV cameras at the complex were functional at the time of the burglary and that during the previous break-in the CCTV's were "under maintenance" (read NOT WORKING).  How convenient. Previously the preferred method used to be the reliable "pre-dawn blazes"

NIAMAH!!!

14 comments:

Wak Arjun said...

Thx much Unker Pat.

All of the above are seriously NIAMAH!! material.

This country has really gone to the dogs!!

Cheers!!

Anonymous said...

better buy Sinchew daily which weighs more heavy & same prize .... oops, price on weekends rm1.30 !

Anonymous said...

Raja Lawak contestants can get a lot of laughing materials from the Mainstream press. For that matter, why would we ever need jokes from the likes of Harith Iskandar?

Ironically the local news carried by the Star has more punch than its cartoon page!

any civil servant tired of his job and wanting a transfer can just screw up his job. Only in Malaysia.

NST featured Douglas Lim, mentioned your name but no photo of you.

NIAKONG said...

What do you expect,the country is currently ruled by BN(I would translate it into Barisan Niamah).So you would expect a lot of 'niamah' things to happened !

Anonymous said...

That JPJ officer caught should thank god that he is not in CHINA! Otherwise, he will be transferred to HELL with a bullet bought with his own money!!!!!

Tiger said...

Star is good value, especially the Saturday edition.
My regular fishmonger says he only needs to buy one every Saturday and then he can use it for the whole week!
HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Anonymous said...

in China you have to buy your OWN bullets lah !!

Anonymous said...

Patrick,

Aiyah, don't you know our government is very thick skinned meh. One needs to be really stupid and in a constant state of denial to be thick skinned which we are happy to note that the entire cabinet are full of such thick people. We are going to send a second "astronaut" to space soon to confirm that the earth is round. Once the second "astronaut's
space mission is completed, then the government will send our first model "Dr. astronaut" to assist Laos, Cambodia and Myanmar with their space tourist program.

1 Malay-sia(L) said...

a) a leaky parliament building, b) cracked highway over-passes, c) a public transport system with LRT's, MRT's and buslines that don't connect to each other d) collapsible stadiums, e) lots of empty very tall buildings.

all the above could be "Act of GOD"; well, to Nasri the first one is...!

1 Malay-sia(L) said...

of course; pay higher tax and get the duty for frrrreeeeee. baka yen yen.

taimah said...

Uncle Pat why are you so cheapskate. Donate the papers to the schools so that they can get some cash for their activities. Anyway since you are so kiamsiap why don't you collect all the free Malay Mail papers which nobody wants to read from some banks which have stacks of them untaken and unread in the racks. Don't forget to give me part of the takings. You want to know which banks just give me a call.hehehehehehehe!

Anonymous said...

here ..kena caught ..no problem simply because something is missing "the tidak malu culture " .It simply doesnt apply to some in bolehland .

Even excoset missile cannot penetrate their face !

Forget to mentinoed the Dr.Mamak wise words once were : what corruption ? other countries also got what ? So..?

Anonymous said...

Umno refused to the word 'Korapsi'.

Anonymous said...

1Korapsi motto Umno!!!

Nuffnang