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Niamah!!! Chinese version YorMarder!!! http://niamahinchinese.blogspot.com/

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Weekend funnies

I had almost given hope for something amusing before the weekend kicks in. Until I opened The Star today. In fact, no need to open already got funny. Right there on the front page. This photo was there...
 
 The Inspector-General getting some tips on gambling. All for training purposes only.

Now, if you read the story you will eventually find out that what the police 'say' they are doing is learning the skills to catch gamblers and cheats.  Now, that's all very good. But what I laughed about was the way the PDRM chose to go about publicising their strategy.  With their current public image I would imagine that the last thing the Inspector-General would do is to have photos of himself at a gambling table albeit a 'mock' one. Whatever the reasons given.  "To catch a thief we need to think like a thief," said the IGP, Ismail Omar.  I am sure that there were thousands of Malaysians who had a big laugh at that and might have even commented that the Malaysian police need no training in that area.  All I can say is that my heart bleeds for all the honest, hard-working and lowly paid Malaysian police personnel who must have cringed when their big boss said that.  But to be fair to the IGP when he was asked what kind of skills the policemen have acquired he replied, "That is confidential information. We do not want the enemy to know what we know." Yes of course.

And I must not forget to thank The Star's editors who have honed such a great sense of humour when coming up with photo captions for stories such as this......


"Full house: Policemen learning the various gambling games at the mini casino in the Cheras police college yesterday."

"Learning to gamble: Inspector-General Tan Sri Ismail Omar (front row centre) getting some tips on how to play a card game....."

When he was asked about abuse, the IGP smartly announced that he put his faith in his men. “Insya Allah (God willing), they will know their responsibilities and will not go against their badge,” he said.

Now to complete this great situation comedy I am waiting for JAKIM to come out with their take on this surely very HARAM practise of gambling.

What can we expect next from the IGP? Lessons on rape? Snatch theft? Mat Rempit motorcycle stunts?

 Na, here's your gold medal. Can you give me a house ah?

On another page of The Star today there is a less amusing but nevertheless laughable story.  The story is about Asian Games Gold medallist, Chai Fong Ying (pictured above). Chai won a Gold Medal for taijijian and taijiquan at the 16th Asian Games in Guangchou on Monday.  That is an achievement worthy of recognition for a Malaysian sportswoman. But that isn't what is laughable. What is quite amusing is that Chai actually said to the Malacca Chief Minister, Ali Rustam when she met him, "I will appreciate it very much if the state can reward me with a house."  I certainly hope that she meant it as a joke. Otherwise it will be a sad reflection of what levels we have sunk to as a nation.

Have a great weekend, folks!

NIAMAH!!!






61 comments:

zomfgwtfbbq said...

Hahahahaa, "confidential information".

I could teach them how to spot a cheat. pfft they're lousy.

Anonymous said...

Police learning the various gambling games ??? Ha..ha..ha !!! It's a joke of the century lah !!! There are so many Police "monitoring" the screen of Jack-pot machines in the many "Cafe's" around KOTA KINABALU and various towns of SABAH. They are already experts in gambling! It's a waste of public fund to provide the training man!!! The IGP and his team in HQ should come to SABAH for "free" training lah..~!

Anonymous said...

well ... after office hours or night time, the 'mockery' maybe will becomes real ...
tkpg

Anonymous said...

Is this mock casino and the whole 'teaching-the-polices-to-gamble-for-undercover-task' thing was decided after the IGP watched Casino Royale or God of Gamblers?

I'm afraid that someday, they might bust themselves for this.

In the end, Senjata makan tuan might occur.

Tiger said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Wonders never cease!

Anonymous said...

Patrick,

We have a bunch of dumb asses heading the various goverment agencies so we should no longer be surprised at the stupidity of these dumb assess. The PIG is definitely correct when he said that "to catch a thief, the police need to think like a thief" as this type of logic justifies the police action of using their firearms at every slightest opportunity since this is akin to "to apprehend a criminal, the police need to act as a violent criminal".

As for Chai Fong Yin, I don't blame her for asking for a house instead of she being awarded a stupid and worthless datukship for her achievement. Come on, if a malay guy can swim across the English Channel in the slowest time possible and still get a datukship for his "achievement", Chai Fong Yin's feat is definitely more commendable and deserving of a house.

Anonymous said...

I read about the mock casino... and immediately thought about what you would post up in yr blog here :P

KLAKAR BTUL LAHH
But sakit hati to think about the hypocrisy that is their faces.



Rach

Anonymous said...

Wah..why no one comment yet?

Anonymous said...

Very creative. Mock casino but real money behind the scene. Bribing the police right at the police station and even having the press take pictures.

Chai is a 'pendatang'. She won a gold medal showing off 'pendatang' kungfu. She should be grateful for being allowed to set foot on Malaysia. She is only entitle to a little wooden shed in the city of Melaka.

Victim of Street Crime said...

This must be a very 'niamah' thing that the police is learning gambling skills to catch cheaters of gambling.In the first instance,gambling is illegal in our country unless licensed by govt such as Genting,Sport ToTo,Magnum & DaMaCai.The licensed gambling house has their own team of 'police' to catch cheaters.So what is there for the police to catch them?
Better spend more time to learn how to fight street crimes!
Niamah Fulat!!!!!!

Usamae said...

Bro Pat,

Jokes aside. I really like the picture of the Asian Games gold medallist Chai Fong Ying. It really rhymes with your caption.

You did it on purpose, or it's purely coincident?

Anyway, good work, my friend.

Mamapumpkin said...

Errr....I know someone who plays the jackpot machine in a private club and errr....apparently many police officers go there to play/gamble too....all Muslim.....not in their uniform, of course. But they're all friends....I'm just saying....I don't mind them playing/gambling at all....maybe they were all undergoing real life practical training for the last few years???

Anonymous said...

HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA damn funny!! no house!!!!

Anonymous said...

Wah, Bolehland has come up with a new training centre. Soon Scotland Yard, FBI (Fcuk By Indians) and even our southern neighbour will send their personnel here for training. Yen Yen will be out of job. Malaysia will even be well known internationally.

Those idiots who come out with such ideas, are actually training their personnel to moon lighting. Those days retired personnel will apply to start security firms. Now it is even better, when they pension they apply for more gambling licence for mini casinos no time for robbery lah. Niaaaaaamah.......

Anonymous said...

After retirement they can open up tuition centre to teach those who wants to be a thief, or how to cheat in gambling.

Anonymous said...

IGP for International Gambling Professionals? Next year the gomen will allocate more budget to keep up with the new technology and high tech gadgets. Cookoo.

Anonymous said...

After they have learnt the trade At the mock casino, they could then proceed to Singapore's casinos to try their luck.

KoSong Cafe said...

It would seem PDRM did not know what those people were doing when they were caught gambling?

Are there different classifications on charges for gambling? I wonder. For instance, penalties are different, depending on whether it was mahjong, poker, gin rummy, black jack, and so on. Anyway, I don't see the need for police to know how to gamble in order to catch people for gambling. Why not take pictures, or if circumstances permit, have a video recording for scrutiny later, even in court.

I can expect in future, if a policeman is caught with others gambling, he can claim that he was only on training!

I suppose the police are affected by MACC's prosecutor who asked Dr. Pornthip whether she had jumped off building before, in order to prove her competence!

Anonymous said...

Did you see the how the Malaysia's Sepak Takraw team taunting the opponents during the game?

Their monkey antics that mocks the opponents has brought shame to the country.

TV viewers in Asia will think that the malays behave like that...

Terence said...

the gold medal girl a bit no class right?

Anonymous said...

this gambling training all wrong lah..walau pun intention good.if really really want to go ahead..ah yoh quiet quiet teach lah....

p/s.i dont beleive they dont know lah...how to play..rememeber former igp is genting what ah??

unless like our former potong car ceo history graduate (whose knows whether got past or not somemoe..) can be a Car producing Ceo.

you must be expert in your field of specialty only can do best ..correct ?? anyone ?? sure former igp must know little bit what ??


I am actually confused lah .Very hard to understand what is printed on newspaper or the internet .

Anonymous said...

Quote : :maybe after one day might bust themselves " ..man this is so funny !!

Tapik you !! Best Regards : Sentinel from North .

Anonymous said...

"now i win already how?? give me house lah ..I said ..NOW !!! understand stupid !!!"


The above shows that the 'pendatang'is fighting back . Too much unfairness and iscrimination already.


Sad or not ? our society become like that ? very very sad lah..really ..

again must also blame a little bit on YB Bodoh on the patrotit thing !

From: Lau Bin

Arunzab said...

Patrick thanks for making my weekend

Anonymous said...

Undercover of the night.

Anonymous said...

She's just so so greedy..."diberi betis minta paha"

Anonymous said...

ok lah , give her a small rumah BUT NOT a rm24juta ONE , ok ??

Anonymous said...

Real joke! Signal for illegal syndicates to open more illegal gambling outlets to train police officers. Igp allow maa!

Vincent said...

Currently i m staying at Brisbane.
The Australian media rarely publish any news about Malaysia.
Below is the news that hit the headlines today. http://bigpondnews.com/articles/OddSpot/2010/11/22/Malaysia_offers_sex_courses_for_elderly_542040.html
Niamah!!!!

najib manaukau said...

If the late Agong and the sultan of N.S. can gamble at the roulette table in Auckland for real what is wrong with the IGP. I saw the Agong in the VIP room, when he was there, gambling some years back when the Agong was in NZ having his holiday there. I actually took a photograph, on the quite though, of him at the table, without anyone else, If I can find it I will no doubt have it posted for for everyone to view.

Anonymous said...

Hishamuddin was reported saying the guidelines covering sedition on the Internet will be out next week, but not when they would be enforced. He added Information, Rais Yatim, Nazri Abdul Aziz; and the Attorney General’s Office had been roped in to draw up the new rules on sedition.

Bloggers beware.

By the way, will the police set up a mock massage parlour? They need to 'feel' massage to do their work?

Anonymous said...

The government-controlled media have begun running optimistic reports about the ruling federal coalition.

Umno owns and controls both the country’s largest media group, Media Prima Berhad (MPB) which owns English and Bahasa Malaysia newspapers, television and radio stations; and the Utusan Group, which publishes both Utusan Malaysia and the Kosmo tabloid. MCA now directly owns The Star and several radio stations and magazines while MIC owns the Tamil Nesan.

BN has told its media to play up “feel good”, “positive” reports and to find flaws of its political foes for the next few months ahead of a likely March 2011 federal election.

Anonymous said...

The government-controlled media have begun running optimistic reports about the ruling federal coalition.

Umno owns and controls both the country’s largest media group, Media Prima Berhad (MPB) which owns English and Bahasa Malaysia newspapers, television and radio stations; and the Utusan Group, which publishes both Utusan Malaysia and the Kosmo tabloid. MCA now directly owns The Star and several radio stations and magazines while MIC owns the Tamil Nesan.

BN has told its media to play up “feel good”, “positive” reports and to find flaws of its political foes for the next few months ahead of a likely March 2011 federal election.

So read with care.

Anonymous said...

Crouching WOMEN
Hidden POLICE

NIAMAHCHAUCHEEBAIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!


UNCLE LIM

Anonymous said...

To catch a pimp u must think like a pimp

To catch a rapist you must think like a rapist

To catch a robber you must think like a robber

Why don't ask the police force to join the other side ?

Then they can think whatever they like

And for the house

that is niamah to the max

aunty lim

alimo said...

very funny laaa

gambling den 100% chinese own illegal or not. But the police got to be the joke.

Anonymous said...

Wouldn't it be better to get those rapist, conman, thieves, murders, bookie, pro, mummy etc currently serving jail sentence to give lectures to the new recruits. 100% can solve problem when they graduate. After graduation those prionsers will be pardon. You help me I help you. Everybody happy.

Anonymous said...

This so bloody funny! The phrase 'To catch a thief, you must think like a thief' takes a whole different meaning altogether. I always thought that to catch a thief or crook or who ever, it would be just be hard police work and proactive thinking on their part. So thinking like a thief to catch one, very good but I must ask this, tried catching a crooked politician lately?. Or must you (really now...seriously),think like one to do that?!?! NUMBNUTS!

Anonymous said...

Gambling dens chinese owned but MALAYsians can play, right? LOL! NUMBNUTS.

Harith said...

RE: Chai 'Gimme a House' Fong Ying

,,, apparently, as a reward for her years of training and achievements which resulted in a GOLD medal (one of only FIVE at this moment that Malaysia have won in the Asian Games), the Melaka Chief Minister presented Ms Chai with a cheque to the amount of ,,, waaaait for it! ,,, RM3000!!!!

ps. I am not even going to say anything about the 'mock' casino in Cheras. It's TOO funny.

1Malaysian said...

If Saudara Hafiz can get cars, lands, houses n wat not after taking shots below his balls, why cant Miss Chai get her share after kicking some balls (or asses)??? C'mon fellas...1Malaysia mar....no diskriminasi, no hipokrasi, no fantasi, takkan no kasi oso?

Anonymous said...

give her a house unless u can win a gold medal, a medium scale oner will do though

Anonymous said...

after the training , they sure get hooked & shioked then you know wat's the ending lah : they need MORE $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ lo .....@#$%^&* !!

Anonymous said...

My Malay friend recently told me JAKIM, a religious entity, asked for 10k bribe for HALAL certification.

Can u believe them? Fucking kuraps asking for bribes in the name of GOD!

Anonymous said...

Sure you can have a house

Just play roulette with the police

you can even win a car cash career condo 5 C or whatever shit you want

police dirasuah malaysia

Anonymous said...

Sure you can have a house

Just play roulette with the police

you can even win a car cash career condo 5 C or whatever shit you want

police dirasuah malaysia

Anonymous said...

Bloggers beware ! Be afraid...be very very very afraid...The typical fear factor of Malaysians...Takut nanti...

tupaii said...

ah yoh..actually cannot always say no good on pdrm. very bad like that.
if they want ,they can request yen x2- to arrange them 'study tour' in macau. see..they pdrm save money for us raykat what..


if the fucker mamak pm..sure sent them to macau oridi..why ..bodek the genuine malay mah...

Anonymous said...

Can this strategy apply to catching a corrupt officer too. I wonder who will be teaching them. Aha! inhouse training from the expert. On second thought, not much training required. Many of them are expert in this area.

Anonymous said...

On the gambling thingy, Singapore is doing it as well, why nobody critised it? Set the abuse aside, is the intention really that bad meh?

As for Fong Ying, I think as a sport person, she shouldn't ask for it. Where is the passion for sport and the love for the country? Is it all just about money? What if she didn't won't any medal? Is she going to payback all the expenses?

Anonymous said...

We got "Mitsubishi EVO" for the traffic Cop.

We got "Mock Casino" for Gambling Cop.

What will PDRM arrange for the Vice Cop ?

lauyee said...

"Na, here's your gold medal. Can you give me a house ah?"

A GREAT ONE!! Your choice of words are amusing!

Anonymous said...

What's next?

Mock Vice Den?

Anonymous said...

Better give money to those athletes that won gold than to spend millions on the stupid space tourist project.

Pegasus said...

This is what UMNO has given the nation for pasts 53 years of its administration.

1, illegal power grab in Perak.
2,the 'kidnapping' of Theresa Kok by the police.
3, preventing people from wearing black T shirts.
4, Persecuting of innocent blogger RPK.
5,Trying to shut Namewee's mouth.
6, Trying to tied the cartoonist hands.
7,cow head incident.
8,the Allah issue.
9.the burning of churches.
10,the murder of Teoh Beng Hock.
11, the custody killing of Kugan.
12,massive corruption by top umno/Bn leaders and cronies.
13,Component BN parties couldn't careless.
14,Unfair awarding of JPA scholarships.
15,Racist slogans.
16,The 2 racist principals been retain.
17,PM siding with the majority.
18, DPM marginalizing the minorities.
19,PM directing another Sodomy.
20, Former IGP involving in massive corruption.
21,The Altantuya murder.
22,The release of Abdul Razak Baginda.
23,The taking of undertable money of the submarine commission,500million.
24. Buying of state assemblymen and MPs.
25. Building another white elephant tower- warisan merdeka.
26, Building new istana which reaches up 935billion.
27. Misleading the old folks over the 100 given by the penang state government.
28. Khir toyo trip to Disneyland.
29. Buy submarines that cannot float.
30. surrender the oil blocks to brunei.
31. illegally bring in thousands of muslim Filipinos and Indonesians in sabah.
32. arrestment of sinchew report over the article.
33. use BTN as weapon against the non-malays.
34. use the all of government institution for their own benefit.
35. use election commission for cheating and manipulation.
36. plunder 100billion by Senile oldman aka mamakutty and tun daim.
37. Toll here and there.
38. Everything tax 5%.
39. Credit card also tax 25.00.

Anonymous said...

4.03 AM. You must be retard to comment the young lady gold metallist like that !

No.1 :you definetey dont understand discrimation here and the frustration of minority sport person reprsenting the country.

Wah lan leh..if you can think a sport men represent the country must pay back
if he/she loose or dont acheive anything ,I think you are not a very clever person and quite a tidak ada class moron.

Hope you dont tell the employee to return his/her salary if the Co. they work is not making profit !

You are a Fugging Moron !
from:

Singapore pang sai

Anonymous said...

PDRM should not waste time on the mock casino.

Spend time watching crime-based tv series (I do not mean Gerak Khas) and learn from there!

ktteokt said...

When are they setting up a mock "Whore house" or mock "BAK KUT TEH stall"?????

Anonymous said...

What sort of logic is this? To catch gamblers, they set up mock gambling dens, so to catch prostitutes, do they set up whore houses? And to catch drug pushers, do they need to set up opium dens? What about going after murderers? They set up mortuary, funeral parlour or what?????

Anonymous said...

Patrick Teoh,

You are ever, evergreen. I enjoy reading all of them. And I can also feel that you have put in a lot of effort to link up all the humor for us to enjoy. Thanks again.

Anonymous said...

with the mock casino at PDRM ,cheras. now we got a hand of full gambling batch of training certified gambler like lohseyhoi of the gambing 70,s movie. What they think of next???
The mock up of hisammudin buying all the A class company to tender for school renovation like previously when he is the minister of education. or maybe najib crony war ship billion tender companies.
Niamah

Nuffnang