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Sunday, January 30, 2011

The Most Amazing Video on the Internet

When a people say NIAMAH!!! We've had enough! 
And we won't take it anymore!

Rainy Sunday stories

Rainy days and Sundays......

I am sure we all know about Padang Serai MP, N. Gobalakrishnan's weeks-old decision to quit the PKR, right? Now, read this Sunday Star story about that YB's decision to quit......

"After weeks of speculation, PKR's Padang Serai MP. N. Gobalakrishnan has resigned from the party."

The MP announced his decision yesterday. A day before the Tenang by-election. Remember the Sunday Star story said that the decision came "after weeks of speculation" which came as a result of his announcement of what he was going to do. But Gobalakrishnan chose the day before the by-election to make the decision final and official.  Now doesn't this raise some questions as to why he chose to make the official announcement one day before the Tenang polls?

1.      Could he have been busy with other matters?
2.      Was he still thinking about it until yesterday?
3.      Was he 'turned' and made to see the light?
4.      Was he made an offer he could not refuse?

It's a rainy Sunday. Frogs love rain don't they? This comment has nothing to do with the above post.


The Very-Bad-Choice-of-Name Award on this Sunday goes to Hishammuddin Hussein, the Home Minister for announcing that The Immigration Department will be the lead agency in the international crime training academy in Langkawi. (Didn't even know there was such an academy).  An international CRIME training academy??? Wow! I can just picture the characters in the queue at the doors of that academy!

Of course, the YB was just announcing an academy dedicated to COMBATING crime. But the name is kinda misleading isn't it? Maybe my Engrand not up to the mark lah.  Sorry ah.


Last year we read about and saw the gallant efforts of several groups of concerned young Malaysians who'd gotten together to organise campaigns to register Malaysian voters all over the country. Most of these groups were young Malaysians doing their patriotic duty contributing to the country's progress. I do not know how many voters they managed to register on their trail through shopping malls, sidewalks and mamak stalls but I salute their efforts.  So I wonder what they will say or how they will react to the news that the Election Commissioner's claim that young Malaysians make up the bulk of unregistered voters. The Tan Sri says that this was because our young flers have "an attitude of indifference, of political apathy." So now how my young Malaysian friends?


All good wishes to the good folks in Tenang. Happy voting. Stay safe. Vote well.



Friday, January 28, 2011


Sage or Fool?

Finally, the verdict is in. Singapore's politicians are much sillier than ours.  You know how for years our Dr. M has been saying that Malays in Singapore are marginalised blah...blah...blah? And how, recently some Malays in Singapore have come out and said that they are not and are doing very well ruled by the PAP, thank you very much. Left on its own I guess the whole thing would have just contributed to the age-old but friendly rivalry between Singapore and us.  To see who is more kiasu than the other.

But what happens?  LKY decides to write another book. And in it he advises Singaporean Muslims to "be less strict on Islamic observances" in order to "aid integration and the city-state's nation-building process".  Now what the fuck does that mean??? You are either a Muslim or you are not a Muslim. How can you be a 'less strict' Muslim?  Whatever the old Lee meant in his head sure has come out sounding all wrong. And I am sure that we can expect a return salvo from our own senile....I mean senior minister very soon. Not to mention some other flers who have been trying to tell everybody "There I told you so!"

Hiyoh Mr. Lee, just retire. Play with your great grandchildren (got ah?). Shut up. And don't write any more books. Can ah?

Straits Times story here.
Singaporean Muslim reactions

This is the most incredible comment yet......

"Aiya it's hard to be honest and be loved. Even bro Pat doesn't like honesty. LKY should have said Islam is a good and tolerant religion and its followers in SEA are all angels. Will this make you happy bro Pat ? It won't make me happy bcos I disagree with it and bcos it's not true.

All you out there please don't put LKY and "what's-his-name " on the same level. You are comparing food with residual waste.

If you can't accept truth then suffer the consequences." - Anonymous.

Only proves that less people understand English than we think :-) 


 Teohlogy - the word according to Patrick Teoh
Available at all major book stores

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Vision 2020

Vision 2020. One man's vision for a country. What was in his head then? How has the vision morphed since he left office?  What will 2020 bring to Malaysia? What will Malaysia have become by 2020?


Book your Chinese New Year Reunion dinner at 
Telephone: +603 7803 1832
Telephone:  +603 2141-1678

Fresh 'live' seafood steamboat
Cho Kai (Imbi only)
Beer duck (Imbi only)
Fresh Prawn Yee Sang
Jellyfish & Salmon Yee Sang


I am not going to say or add anything to this other than point you to the story in The Malaysian Insider that is matched to this photo of Rosmah Mansor.


 Teohlogy - the word according to Patrick Teoh
Available at all major book stores

Thursday stories

 Firecrackers. Can or not?

The Star today reported that 44 Chinese associations have applied for permission from the Home Ministry to light fire-crackers and sing festive songs at public places right up to Chap Goh Meh for the Chinese New Year celebrations.  First of all I never knew that Home Ministry approval was required for the singing of festive songs.  Since when? Secondly, has the Home Ministry admitted defeat in its efforts to ban fire-crackers for any festival because they endanger lives? Every year we read about Malaysians, both adults and children losing life and limb from playing with fire-crackers and other illegal fireworks which have been banned for years. The ban has obviously been totally ineffective judging from what we can HEAR during Chinese New Year, Hari Raya, Deepavali and sometimes even Christmas.  And now they are CONSIDERING applications to use fire-crackers?  Very strange indeed. Political strategy ahead of elections? Or admission of defeat in an ill-administered ban? What you think?



I went to see a dermatologist in a private hospital this morning. The consultation with the doctor lasted a total of 49 seconds. With the prescribed medication the visit cost me RM219!!!  At this rate my 'high-income' salary of RM3,000 a month ain't going to go very far.  Of course, I could have gone to a government hospital and waited my turn for the better part of the day. But if I did that I would probably lose opportunities to work and earn that RM3,000 to become a high-income Malaysian.  That's life in Bolehland.


Teohlogy - the word according to Patrick Teoh
Available at all major book stores
and at

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Wednesday stories

In The Star today there are funny and scary stories.

Really, really Scary

Home Ministry Sec-Gen Mahmood Adam announced that the Printing Presses and Publications Act 1984 will be amended to expand its scope and include 'publications posted online....

And his stated reason for this? To plug loopholes.  But we all know what the real reasons are, right? Do not allow return to the days when the government has the complete monopoly on truth. Don't stand for it. Protest. Make your voices heard. NIAMAH!!!


Rosmah Mansor says that Malaysia has won the admiration of many Islamic countries due to its ability to achieve peace and stability in a multi-religious environment.  Barely. But I guess she is right to a certain extent. But not if our YB's can help it la.

The scary bit

In the same statement Rosmah also said, "Malaysia is a multi-racial country but it also an Islamic country"  But she was quick to add, " However, we practise moderation at the same time." And judging from the photo of her in The Star today I guess she actually has. Practised moderation I mean.

Scary and maybe even funny

Did you know that we are going to have our own destructive crash test facility that will focus on impact with motorcycles and pedestrians by middle of the year?  This was announced by the Malaysian Institute of Road Safety Research D.G., Prof. Dr. Ahmad Farhan Mohd. Focus on impact with motorcyles and pedestrians?  I thought it was simply that if you're a pedestrian and you impact with motorcycles and other heavy moving objects being driven recklessly you DIE! Simple what? Need to test meh? This facility is going to cost Malaysian tax-payers RM5million.

Really funny

The Deputy Prime Minister says that there is currently too much politicking in Malaysia and many citizens living overseas are wondering what has become of the country. Muhyiddin also said the excessive politicking also gave an impression that Malaysia is too preoccupied with political bickering that more important things are being neglected.

Well, you don't say YB! Really ah? And who are among the biggest bicker-ers I wonder?


Teohlogy - the word according to Patrick Teoh
Now available at all major book stores @RM38

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Tuesday funnies

I don't know if you noticed it but on the sidebar of the front page of The Star today there is a howler.

Taxman probes actresses

(not the Priyanka Chopra photo used in The Star. But you get the idea I'm sure)

  Phwaaaar!!! And you thought that accountants have boring jobs eh? 


On page N6 of The Star Deputy Prime Minister, Muhyiddin Yassin proudly announces that BN candidate in the Tenang by-election, one Azahar Ibrahim, is "right for the job".  Okay, that's wonderful. But then why does the all-wise Deputy Prime Minister think his man is perfect for the job of serving the people of Tenang?  Muhyiddin said that Azahar "has no personal issues or scandals".  Huh?  That's all that is needed to be a good MP to serve the people's needs? Very strange indeed.

And now maybe the man is not so right for the job after all. Just a day after the DPM declared Azahar free of scandals PAS has alleged that the man, while Segamat assistant land administrator had carelessly issued an order to sell off property belonging to one Mansor Mohamed without the latter's knowledge.  Johor PAS deputy chief Dzulkefly Ahmad claimed today that Azahar had caused a private land to be auctioned illegally in 2003 resulting in a legal action against the Umno man. Read it here

My my the DPM sure doesn't have a very good track record for picking candidates does he? Remember the Permatang Pasir Umno candidate whom he also said was squeaky clean and was later discovered to be a disbarred lawyer?

While still on the Tenang by-election, the DPM has made a call for Malaysians not to sensationalise the 'handshake issue". This is in reference to Tenang PAS candidate, Normala Sudirman's apparent reluctance to shake hands with male voters when meeting her constituents. But in the same Sun story the DPM is quoted as saying, "It is up to the voters to judge because she might have her own reasons. We don’t want to exploit the candidate’s personal (matters) ... but we leave it to the voters to judge."  And of course recently the MCA's Chua Soi Lek was quoted as saying, "She will not come here (to a Chinese temple), she doesn’t even shake hands with the people. I have received complaints about this.
She is like (PKR de facto leader Datuk Seri) Anwar Ibrahim’s wife (Datuk Dr Wan Azizah Wan Ismail). She wears gloves when she shakes hands. If you can accept this kind of Islamic value, go ahead and vote for PAS."  And Chua's son Tee Yong who is Labis MP said it was rather odd why "some can shake hands and why some can’t".

Hahahaha..... I suppose our idea of NOT sensationalizing and NOT politicising an issue is quite different from those of the YB's.


Teohlogy - the word according to Patrick Teoh
Now available at all major book stores

Monday, January 24, 2011

Oh. So now it is one year issit?

From now on take 1 year only. Okay? 
You vote for us okay?
The minister of Home Affairs, Hishamuddin Hussein announced today that his ministry has set a 1 year time limit for the processing of applications for citizenship. He also said that the reason for the huge backlog was that...

"Previously, there was no time limit set for processing such applications and due to various reasons, we ended up with a huge backlog that included applications that went back decades."

This just tells me that the flers in the Home Ministry have previously been sitting on their collective ARSE doing shit-all and should all be fired! 

Just thought this 'translation' might help those of you in Tenang and Malaysians in general who don't understand "political-speak" lah.


Book your Chinese New Year Reunion dinner at 
Telephone: +603 7803 1832
Telephone:  +603 2141-1678

Fresh 'live' seafood steamboat
Cho Kai (Imbi only)
Beer duck (Imbi only)
Fresh Prawn Yee Sang
Jellyfish & Salmon Yee Sang

Why never tell us one?

So what is the big fucking secret?

Have you ever wondered why Malaysian politicians from Najib to Anwar to the old, senile...ooops sorry I meant senior ex-prime minister always tell us that they have this and that secret about the other fler/flers but never tell us what they are?  Recently, Najib in response to Anwar's challenge to a public debate claimed that he could reveal information that would cause the latter to end up with a fever. Then Anwar countered by saying that "if you (Najib) say you can reveal things, then I also have the right to reveal."

So what are the big fucking secrets?  If they affect Malaysia and Malaysians as you claim don't we have the right to know?


Monday Funnies

Well, at least I can now die here as a citizen. 
Ribuan terima kasih, YB.

On page N2 of The Star today there is a story that headlines "A worthwhile wait". It is the story of a Fujian-born man who waited 42 years to get his Malaysian citizenship approved.  While we are all very happy for Mr. Cheng who can finally raise his index finger and join other members of the Rakyat and yell 1Malaysia! I am wondering why we continuously choose to celebrate what is a glaringly obvious FLAW in the system. Or worse totally inefficiency on the part of that department in the civil service. Or worse a blatant election campaign sideshow! 42 year wait for an application for citizenship (for anything for that matter) to be approved? Why? Chin Peng didn't have to wait 42 years to be told that his application to come home is rejected. So what was the problem with Mr. Cheng's application? So don't be so happy la Malaysia. It's not a cause for celebration. It is a cause for us to re-think what kind of totally inefficient people we have. No?

In another story, the Home Ministry's Deputy Director-General proudly announced that his ministry had scored a 100% success rate in meeting its Key Performance Index (KPI) target.  Wah! So good ah?  How did this YB arrive at this? He said that in 2009 there was a backlog of 62,604 citizenship applications received since 1997. All the applications, he said, have been approved although not all were successful.  Okay. Well and good that you got them all out of the box. But as a member of the tax-paying Rakyat my question is why it took you so long? I am not saying that it is a easy task but I would rather you explain that than trumpet something which is, to my mind, a 100% KPI fuck-up. Thank you, YB.

I don't know about you but when I first read that air-bags were going to become standard issue in Malaysian assembled cars from next year the first thought that crossed my mind was "Eh? I wonder which YB's cousin/son-in-law/relative had cornered the market for air-bag installations in Malaysia?" Come on, admit it. You thought that too, didn't you?  But to add insult to injury I read in The Star today that Transport Minister, Kong Cho Ha had announced that the additional cost to the Malaysian car buyers would be minimal.  He said, "It will cost buyers a bit extra but they must bear in mind that their safety and lives are priceless." Oh really ah, YB? If you are so bloody concerned about your fellow citizen's safety and their lives why don't you......
1.      Design better, safer roads and highways.
2.      Enforce traffic laws strictly.
3.      Make sure Puspakom does a better job inspecting road-worthiness of vehicles.
4.      Make sure that the thousands of driving licences approved annually are to competent drivers.

Cost to Malaysian car-buyers will be 'minimal'? Please don't try to be funny lah, YB. You're not among those earning 'survivable', high income salaries of RM3,000 per month okay.  You make me really damn 'too lan' lah. Tokkok only.


Sunday, January 23, 2011

Couple of Funnies

Hmmm...can survive or not ah on RM3,000 a month?

Here are a couple of funnies to round off a good, relaxing Sunday.

The Star today has a story with this headline...

 Malaysia wants orang utans abroad to 'come home'

On reading it I laughed out loud and had this scary thought that someone in the ministry of something or other, Malaysia had gotten the whole thing about the brain drain wrong! But it turned out that Plantation Industries and Commodities minister, Bernard Dompok was just keen to assist in the rescue of displaced orang utan. He said there was no reason for the orang utans to suffer in the cold north European climate as there was ample space for orang utans in the forests of Sabah. I guess the YB also didn't want to outdone by this Talent Corp thing.  Bring back Malaysians! Orang apa pun takpe (whatever orang doesn't matter)!

The other funny is also from The Sunday Star. Well this story is funny but the headline is admittedly quite scary also. We are a democracy. Yes? Then how come the deputy prime minister can say something like...

Teachers must support govt of the day

But...but...but...Well, I think what what the DPM  wanted to say was that all teachers must be committed towards helping the Government implement policies to improve the country’s education system. You understand that statement? You can read the whole Sunday Star report here and make up your own minds.

Enjoy what's left of your weekend.


More kiasu than you hor?

Malaysians or Singaporeans?

First, Dr. M said that Malays in Singapore are marginalised. Then some Singapore Malays shot right back and said they were in fact very happy with their lot down there. Then our Ibrahim Ali jumped in and alleged that the comments from Singapore were not really from the Malays there who dare not speak up for fear of ... well whatever. Then today The Malaysian Insider reports that Dr. M says Singapore gags its citizens against criticism of the government anyway. The old warhorse insists that they have freedom of speech in Singapore where you can say what you like, so long as it is approving of the (PAP) government.

I wonder what Singaporeans, Malays or not, really think of this silly argument. Can talk or not about this? 


Friday, January 21, 2011

FuuuuYOH!!! Bigger than you da!

Dei! I yam vit you vall the vey la dei.

I never thought he would do it again but our man Najib did!!!  He put up or allowed to be put up a HUGE cut-out of himself in technicolor glory at the Batu Caves for Thaipusam yesterday.  As you can see Najib's image is much larger than Lord Murugan's image.  I don't know about you but to me that is not only in bad taste but it is also culturally and religiously disrespectful. Well, it shows one thing. You Indian flers are in for good times. As many events in the past year has shown, the "beautification" of Brickfields, approval of millions of Ringgit for Tamil schools, Chua Soi Lek 'giving' RM30,000 to the Teluk Datuk Hindu community to build their temple and now this shameless display of "Hey! I'm with you all la dei!"  Well, as a fellow Malaysian I want to say congratulations guys. Milk it all the way. Get whatever you can. Cos they sure as hell won't remember you once your vote is cast.


Wah! You all damn kiasu leh!

Admit it lah. They're pissing on you, right?

Wah! those flers in Singapore must be damn upset with us these few days hor? First the Dr. M fler told them in no uncertain terms that they were marginalising their Malay population. Saying the the Malay flers down there got no balls.  Errr...wait....that doesn't sound right.  I think he meant that the Malay flers down there were being treated badly by their government.  Then the Malay flers down there of course got very angry and retorted that they were just fine, thank you very much. Okay la, I think some of them were not as polite as me la. But that was the gist of what they said. Actually, they said they all are smarter, more well-off and better treated than our Bumiputras lah. Okay so that is one verbal debate that no one can win lah. So we thought, Hiya never mine lah. Things will cool down after a while.

Then suddenly the Ridhuan Tee fler came out and said that the Singapore flers want to 'eat' us up wor. He said the kiasu flers spend sooooo much money, billions and billions, on buying sophisticated armaments and all that. Their intention must be to come and conquer us some day. The Chinese muslim fler also said that those Opposition flers in Penang might be in cahoots with the Kiasu flers cos they (the Penang kia's) always go Singapore to 'get ideas' wor.

And as if that was not enough to start a full-scale war between us, the Perkasa fler, Ibrahim Ali came out shouting that actually our Malay kawan's in Singapore all just don't dare to speak out against their oppressors. In other words, no balls lah.  No Malays in Singapore dare to talk the truth about the treatment they received one he said.  I think there may be some truth in that statement lah. I think the Malay flers in Singapore don't want to talk about the treatment they received because they are afraid that if they did all the Malays flers from here might want to cross over there!!! Then how man? It is only a small pulau kan?

One of those Singaporean flers said that they feel at ease and are grateful that the Singapore rulers treat their trust with respect and transparency.  And in true Perkasa/Ibrahim Ali fashion our man pooh-poohed that and said that it was just a planted statement and did not represent the majority of Malays in Singapore. He also called on those flers down there who were anti-Mahathir's statement not to manipulate the issues because "we know what is happening." Phwaaaaar!!! Terror or not? No need for wikileak cables also our Ib knows man.

You know this. They said that. Frankly, Ibrahim Ali, Ridhuan Tee, Dr. M, I don't give a fuck anymore! As a Malaysian citizen I am just fed-up with our so-called leaders taking us for fools.


Thursday, January 20, 2011

Stupid and dangerous

This is the face of a very dangerously stupid man

In today's edition of The Malausian Insider there is a very interesting story on that fler, Ridhuan Tee, the Chinese muslim who is more Malay than any Malay.  He was ranting about how Singapore will 'eat' us up if we're not careful and buy more sophisticated arms to defend ourselves. He said Singapore spent RM35.5 billion on defense. And they are such a small country. We in comparison spent only RM11.01 billion. I guess that includes those infamous submarines. Tee also claims that Penang might be in cahoots to 'makan' us since the Penang flers often send people to Singapore to "look for ideas".  But what is most funny about what Tee said was this.

He said that if the RM50billion of profits from Petronas were to be used for defence then he is certain that "in five years Malaysia will emerge as a great nation in Asia and maybe globally."

Now, what the fuck kind of reasoning is that?!


Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Can survive one

RM3,000 a month can survive one. 
Well thank you so much, YB!

There is this very funny story in The Malaysian Insider today.  In it the minister of international trade and industry Mustapha Mohd was quoted as saying that his ministry will use RM3,000 a month salary as a proxy for high income jobs.  First of all, what is the meaning of using it as a proxy? And second of all, the minister also said that "you won't be rich with RM3,000 but you can survive."  But I thought that if you had a high-income job you would be able to do much more than just "survive". No? Maybe I don't understand these things lah. Maybe the YB has some great economic theory which eludes poor working slobs like me. But then I remember this is the same YB who when asked why there was a need for a new multi-million Ringgit Istana Negara replied that it's 'nice' to have or something silly like that. So how?


Friday, January 14, 2011

Fuyoh! The PM answers questions tweeted to him

Oh Najib, Najib...tsk...tsk...tsk...sigh

Now I am getting really confused.  A couple of days ago, Najib warned us of the effects of unregulated use of the Internet and how unfettered access to Western culture would decimate Asian values. Today Najib is out there on YouTube answering questions which he received via Twitter #tags which he initiated. But...but...but...I know what you are thinking. How can? Well, Najib did say "our children and future generations of ASEAN should retain their Asian cultural values and they must be protected from the threats on the Internet."  He also added that the public must be educated on how to use the Internet in a responsible manner.  And today on YouTube he showed us just what he meant and how to use the Internet in an Asian way.  You see, when you use the Internet you must not raise any 'sensitive' issues. Like politics, transparency in government, justice etc.  That presumably would decimate something or other. You must talk about things that really matter. Like where to get the best char koay teow. Like who irons the PM's clothes. Like whether Pirates or Ninjas will win.  Like..........SIGH..........I osso don't know la.......  If Najib was trying to show us Malaysians a different side of him, a softer more down-to-earth image sort of thing then I would say he fucked up. Big time!!!

A cyber-trooper just scolded me and said I should watch and listen to Najib's future YouTube replies to #tanyanajib and not pre-judge the poor man. Oh you mean there's more? And he does answer more serious questions?  Then my question still remains as to why he chose to lead with char koay teow and other 'entertaining' questions. 

If I'd wanted  entertainment I would go watch the Malaysian Association of Chinese Comedians at PJLA later this month.


MACC Internal Affairs Chinese New Year edition

This one ah...can laugh until you die one. 
No need to be scared of heights all. 
You miss this ah sure you will regret one.
You must see! Don't see you lose one.
Open verdict.


The sequel....

The sequel to the sequel. Okay it won't get any worse. This is the last one.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Another WTF moment

Internet ni cannot be unfettered. Kalau camtu our peeple will get ... apatu... we must protect them la. From all the threats on the Internet. Faham?

At first, when I read the story in The Malaysian Insider about Najib wanting to call for censorship of the Internet I wanted to blog about it and thought of a lot of things I wanted to say. But since it is apparently not the done thing to criticise our Prime Minister I had another thought. There is actually no need to say anything else. The Malaysian Insider story says it all. Read this and have yourself a good laugh or a good scare.

From The Malaysian Insider today......

KUALA LUMPUR, Jan 13 — Datuk Seri Najib Razak today warned of the effects of unregulated Internet use, and said unfettered access to Western culture would decimate Asian values and heritage.
His comments are expected to renew fears that the government may still renege on its pledge to not censor the Internet as part of the Multimedia Super Corridor (MSC), after it was reported that the Information Ministry had previously evaluated the possibility of a blocking out “undesirable websites”.
Political foes had then attacked the proposal as an attempt by the ruling Barisan Nasional (BN) government to quash online political dissent.
Following public outcry, the Cabinet later abandoned the proposal, which was subsequently described as only a feasibility study.
Today, the prime minister stressed that cyberspace must be managed to protect Asian society from exposure to the “negative influences” of Western culture.
He said that governments must formulate a code of ethics for Internet use to ensure that is remains “governable”.
“Indecency and anarchy can seep in into any environment that is not anchored on any cultural roots and our values.
“Our culture and our heritage are what make us unique and it is important that we educate our peoples never to abandon what makes them uniquely Asian,” he said during his keynote address at the tenth Asean Telecommunications and Information Technology Ministers Meeting.
He said that that Asian values must not be compromised in the name of development.
“Our children and future generations of Asean should retain their Asian cultural values and they must be protected from the threats on the Internet,” he said.
He added that the public must be educated on how to use the Internet in a responsible manner.
Aside from the controversial Net filter — said to be in the vein of the “Great Firewall of China” — the ruling administration has also called for a registry of bloggers, many of whom are said to be anti-establishment.


Tuesday, January 11, 2011

How many things did he fail to do?

Boo-hoo-hoo...sniff...sniff...I failed!

In The Star today it was reported that Dr. Mahathir admitted that one of his failures during his 22 years as Prime Minister was his administration's inability to rehabilitate and develope Kampung Baru. What a gracious leader to admit his failures. Well, since the old man started it and since we Malaysians love lists let's continue where he left off.  Come on. Add to his list of failures. Put your contributions in the comments section and I will update them here. Have fun!

He failed to improve the Education system of Secondary and Universities in this country. Actually it became worst! 
He failed to improve the economic status of most Malays in this country. Proton is still crap! Corruption became worst!! Police force is a joke! the only bigger joke in this country is our Courts and Judiciary! 
He failed to save his son's venture in Konsortium Perkapalan? Oh wait, wait, he did.
The most tragic failure of mahalingam's rule is his failure to commit suicide to spare us his sham tears. Kg Baru would today be developed if his family had been given half the land.
He failed to make Ringgit stronger than Sing dollar. 
With his superb acting ability and ethnic background, this mamak failed to go to Bollywood. He would have made a good kerala clown. 
He failed to develop incentives and a process that would encourage talented Malaysians and Expats to stay and contribute to this country's future, and their counterparts overseas to return. 

Sorry Patrick, I can't contribute to your list of his failures, but I can list some of his more memorable achievements, they are:
1. Increasing number of fat croonies
2. More White Elphants roaming in Putrajaya. 
3. buying loads of useless expensive defence.
4. Buying out his son's company with yours and my money.
5. Spend my reirement funds for 1/2 priced stocks.
6. Increasing outflow of local talents.
7. perfecting d art of racial disciminaion.
8. dismantling our judiciary and cultivating yes-mans.
9. entertaining us with sodomygate-1
10. neutralising the royal families.

I would rather list his successes:
1. raped and sodomized the civil service, the judiciary,the A-G Chambers, PDRM, SPR, etc..
2. stole RM100b from the national wealth
3. blocked the suits by Memali villagers for wrongful deaths
4. bonsai the minds of the Malays 


Since I am awake

Ah le! Mana diorang ada duit. Where they got money! Tokkok onny!

I just received this anonymous 'warning' in the comments section of Niamah!!! ......

Perkara :Amaran
semua post di sini sudah di monitor dan ISP alamat pun telah di record.

Jadi menghinakan Perdana Menteri ia lah se suatu Kesalahan

Another "warning" received. But this one is from a Najis bin Najis so...


Mengkritik Perdana Menteri adalah satu perbuatan yang digalakan.

Kerajaan sedang mengenalpasti Rakyat yang tidak memberi sumbangan kritik dalam blog Patrick Teoh.

Jika salah dan ditangkap, akan di jail dan kenakan ISA selama lama nya.


Najis bin Najis. 

On days when I send my daughter to her school ride at 0700 hrs. I read the Sun. Today's edition has a rather interesting report on page 2.  In the story headlined 100-day reform plan 'irresponsible' it was reported that Prime Minister, Najib rubbished the Opposition's 100-day reform plan saying that it was a populist and irresponsible measure. That coming from Mr. do-or-say- whatever-is-populist (1Malaysia, You help me I help you etc.) is quite funny. He said that the Opposition would not have the means to do what they promised because it did not take into account financial sources when they (the Opposition) announced their plan.

"So how can they deliver all those they promised to the people?" 

The Opposition had pledged to, among others, abolish the Internal Security Act, reduce subsidies for the private sector, give a RM500 monthly increment for teachers and increase oil royalties by 20% for Sabah, Terengganu and Kelantan in the first 3 months of it being in power.

In rubbishing the Opposition's plans Najib said that the country would in 2 years time become like Greece if the promises were implemented without considering the country's actual capacity.

Well, my dear Prime Minister even with my severe lack of sleep last night I am thinking that the Opposition announced what they would do only because they already knew that if ......

a) we stopped the wastage of resources

 b) curtail corruption and

c) maybe reduce the size of the staff of the Prime Minister's department (last reputed to be in access of 42,000 with an annual operating budget of RM4billion ......

We would have more than enough money to achieve what the Opposition planned.

Yes? I think so. Don't you?


Wednesday, January 05, 2011

Jiiiis eees verah straaange!

Aiyoh! Bikin gua kepala pening oh!

You know, I always find it very strange that Najib, who leads a party named United MALAYS National Organisation (Umno) is the one who coined the slogan 1Malaysia.  And he is supported by the leaders of other parties that are named Malaysian CHINESE Association (MCA) and the Malaysian INDIAN Congress (MIC).  But the story in today's Star really takes the cake. In page N4 of the Star today the story announces that, "The 1Malaysia Cultural Award is now open for application from Malaysians of all ethnic backgrounds with RM50,000 each for two winners."  Good right. It should be. Except that the report goes on to say that MCA prez, Chua Soi Lek went on to announce that the awards were aimed at recognizing contributions by Chinese and non-Chinese Malaysians in arts and culture. Huh???  The cash awards are for 2 categories - Chinese and non-Chinese - with an RM50,000 prize for each category. So even for 1Malaysia arts and cultural awards we have to start off with a racial separation issit?  Why like that one? Well the good thing is if this keeps I guess up Namewee will have no problems with funding for his projects and Ah Niu will finally get his tax exemption for Ice Kacang Puppy Love.


It's a HOT day in Malaysia

It's going to be damn cold one I tell you.

There is something really strange always happening in Bolehland. It's either......

A.          The Ministry of the Environment (there is one right?) knows something about global warming and how it is going to affect Malaysia but is not telling us the whole truth.


B.          The Malaysian Brain Drain has reached deluge levels.

When I was driving past TTDI this morning I passed a billboad advertising winter clothes with the caption, "Keeps You Warm".



Errr...the fler died from....errr....I don't know la....wait....I get my instructions first boleh?

It is a very ANGRY day in Malaysia. For all Malaysians who value justice and transparency. The Coroner has just returned an Open Verdict on the Teoh Beng Hock case. Basically, what that says is that it is the Coroner's verdict that the man died not from self-inflicted wounds nor did he die as a result of homicide.  So after a year of circus side-show antics which cost the Teoh family months of pain and the Malaysian tax-payers millions of Ringgit we get to be told a load of orchestrated nonsense? On the positive side this is sure making a lot of Malaysians angry. Of late the Umno/BN government has been making a lot of effective noises about this and that. Increased FDI, KPI, NEM... and now the Rakyat are saying WTF!!! Call the General Elections now, Najib! We'd so like to return our verdict on you and your flers.  I am so angry now that abbreviations don't seem to work so...


Sunday, January 02, 2011

What a SHIT head!!! (Oooops! Almost forgot.)

A new Malaysian Shit Head in Kedah

In deference to the many requests on behalf of Dickheads nation-wide which say...

"shithead" would be a far more apt term for this character. he's a piece of shit floating at the top of Malaysia's political cesspool. Dickhead is too sexist a term, could give those of us with penises inferiority complexes. (quote from a Niamah!!! comment-er)

I have decided to change the title awarded to the Tan fler from Dick Head to Shit Head.


I just read that Kedah Gerakan Youth Chief, Tan Kheng Liang asked someone if they would choose MCA's Jez Lai, National Treasurer Beliawanis Wanita MCA over Hannah Yeoh who will be going on maternity leave soon!!!

His tweet..."@jqquah Would u choose @jezlai or @hannahyeoh which will be on maternity leave soon?"

His engrand is so bad he refers to Hannah as a "which"!

When the shit hit the fan he tried to defend himself......

"@hannahyeoh I imply u may x able to service area during maternity leave,which u r entitle.Anyway,congrat welcoming ur baby"
"@hoongling @hannahyeoh Correction:I never say elected rep cannot be pregnant or take maternity leave.I only state facts 4 rakyat 2 consider"
"@5xmom Stating someone wud go on maternity leave is an insult to woman? That's false perception @hannahyeoh"
"@jasonbhlee Is it wrong 2 state someone wud b going on maternity leave soon? It's ur perception of my statement that's confusing @hannahyeoh""@5xmom Yes.I said ppl on MaternityLeave cannot work as I believe any1 after delivery should take proper rest &take care newborn @hannahyeoh"

And then of course being a dick-head politician he had to say.....

"My simple statement @hannahyeoh will go maternity leave has been twisted.Perhapw,PR under heavy pressure 2 deliver propoganda even if untrue"


"Same like d 20sen RON97 hoax on NewYear eve, don't listen to anyone that suggest I'm against maternity leave or pregnant ladies @hannahyeoh"

And he also finds egg on his face quite fascinating......

"Facinating tat stating PakatanRakyat MP will go on maternity leave would caused some PR supporter label me as sexist.Wonder what's next?"

For those of you who don't know this Tan fler is a practising lawyer too. His Twitter profile reads......

"Practicing as a lawyer and also known as Kedah Gerakan Youth Chief".

He is "known as" the Kedah Gerakan Youth Chief?  Is he or isn't he?  Well, as of right now he will also be known as Malaysia's biggest scumbag SHIT HEAD!!! Oh and he is practising AS a lawyer?


By the way, how did someone with such a deplorable standard of English qualify as a lawyer? Oh wait, he did say he was a practising lawyer. Ah I see, if he practises hard enough he might actually graduate. Or he might just become ..... nah he's already that. 

Saturday, January 01, 2011


It's a new year! Happy? Well it certainly was a rousing welcome for 2011 all over Malaysia. With fireworks, street parties, music and revelry.

And Malaysians awoke today to an announcement from the Prime Minister that the "power to build the nation is with the people".

Very true of course. But I could not help feeling that whatever Umno/BN is paying their public relations company is well worth the money. In one swell swoop the prime minister has taken over the stand long-associated with the Opposition! People power now belongs to the BN. So what is the PR going to do? But on the other hand what the prime minister said could also be taken to strengthen what the PR has been saying since even before the 2008 tsunami. That the people must wake up and exercise their right to have good government. That they must register to vote if they haven't done so. So the prime minister is echoing what the PR has said all this time. Yes, I know. for 2011 I am going to be an optimist. Hahahahaha......

In today's Star there is also a funny. The MCA boss Chua Soi Lek said that "the people's support is crucial in the success of the Government Transformation Plan (GTP) and the Economic Transformation Programme (ETP). True also.  That message can also mean that the Malaysian people should just shut up and follow orders. "Don't worry. You just do what we tell you. We take care of everything for you. Semua selesai!"  Yay!!!

Sorry. Just a small new year's day joke la.