The man. The ex-prime minister. The comedian.
Dr. Mahathir Mohd, Malaysia's longest-serving prime minister, is much loved and much hated by Malaysians. Depending on who you speak to. Some say he was the great architect of Malaysia's march into global recognition. Others say he is responsible for the terminal afflictions of cronyism and corruption. But love him or hate him you must admit that Dr.Mahathir is a very funny man. Next to him Harith Iskander sounds as funny as a George W. Bush making sense.
The Star's June Wong compiled a series of excerpts from Dr. Mahathir's autobiography Doctor In The House. In today's second and final installment there is some laugh-out-loud comedy which I would like to share with you.
Chapter 3: I Am A Malay
"......as Prime Minister, I made a mistake or an unpopular decision, people were ready with their “dim-witted Malay” slurs. But when I made good decisions, it was always because I had Indian blood. I wanted to prove otherwise: that Malays were more than capable of thinking, progressing and leading......"
Errr......"I wanted to prove......Malays were more than capable of thinking, progressing and leading?" How did you do that? When you made good decisions (or bad) you were still an Indian making them, right? You've said many times before that Malays are a constitutional race only. Good or bad, your brain still Indian ma. No ah? Faarniiiie la you.
Chapter 14: The Bitter Thrill of Politics
"I listened carefully at first, but I got tired of his style of delivery. He adopted the didactic tone of a know-all schoolmaster, telling us all what we should do and pointing out all the “mistakes” we were making"......"his manner of addressing the Malaysian Parliament when he was a member, was to lecture his listeners about what was right and what was wrong"
Ya lor. Always like that what! Baarger! Oh.....oh you were talking about Lee Kuan Yew. I thought you were talking about yourself. Sorry ah. Faarniiiiiieeee la you.
Chapter 53: Anwar’s Challenge
"Whenever my name is mentioned in a book or article, I am described as the Prime Minister who threw his deputy into jail. The fact that he was properly charged and tried in court is never mentioned."
Huh? Properly charged and tried ah? Oh...oh of course the prime minister and home minister can decide what is proper and all, right? Correct, correct, correct. So faaaaniiiiieee la you.
Chapter 51: Putrajaya
"Putrajaya is a beautiful, functional city. When I visited the Versailles Palace outside Paris I heard the guide proudly extol its beauty."
Stop! Stop! Stop! Please doctor. Please stop. You're making me laugh so hard I might get a coronary. You so FAAAAAAAAAAAARNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEE la you!
And finally, for all you baargers who have been saying that the doc has been and still is a corrupt mofo just read this next bit and then shaddap. Okay?
Chapter 28: Bersih, Cekap, Amanah
"I practised the values we promoted
I had everything and I did not need anything more.
and resisted any attempts to corrupt me. It involved controlling greed. As Prime Minister I was already receiving an adequate salary but the Government also provided me with comfortable accommodation, paid my electricity and water bills, gave me cars and aircraft for my trips and allowances for my travels.
But of course my detractors still considered me corrupt. However, my conscience is clear."