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Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Wednesday Funnies

Did you read any of the MSM papers today?  There are a couple of funnies today.

Malaysian traffic-offenders queuing for their 50% discount at Ikano Pos Malaysia office. Some had been there since 8am. Got discount, some more no need to work. Life is good in Bolehland!

1.       There are apparently 17 million Malaysian motorists who have not settled their overdue traffic summonses!!!  And of course we all know about the government's efforts in getting these flers to pay up which are quite laughable.  These traffic offenders get discounts if they settle their summonses!!!  I don't remember when the rules changed but it used to be that when you commit an offence, when you do something bad you get PUNISHED!  These days you get a slap on the wrist and a discount!  Will the day come when a rapist would get a free supply of condoms if he owns up?


Bapa Malaysia - the musical?  Naaah!

2.       Somebody out there must have something against Tunku Abdul Rahman, our first Prime Minister and Bapa Malaysia.  They've made a musical about Ismail. A musical about Mahathir and now I read that there is going to be a movie about Razak and Ismail together! It's supposedly about the two gents's efforts in bringing peace and stability to the country after the May 13, 1969 racial conflict. For all he's done the poor Tunku must be feeling a little left out in his grave. But of course, I am not saying he'd be happy with Tunku, The Musical either.


Why now? Just coincidence only ma. Cannot ah? Lei chooi ah? 
(ask your Cantonese-speaking friends)

3.  And of course we all know about the song-and-dance whenever there are elections. The government flers travel to the election areas and start dishing out money and other 'presents' like it was Christmas come early. Ok, or Hari Raya or Deepavali in case there are sensitive people around. I read in the papers today that the BN government has announced a RM9.25million allocation to upgrade a water treatment plant in Kerdau. That the by-elections just happen to be in Kerdau too is just coincidental. Right?  We don't believe crap like that but we hear it so often that I, for one am becoming quite de-sensitised to it.But it is still ultra-irritating and even infuriating to hear more crap from the Deputy Minister of Women, Family and Community Development, Heng Seai Kie.  She said that efforts (by the government) to help the needy during elections must not be politicised!  "(Do) we haev to stop giving out aid although we know there are people in election areas who need help, just because others may say it is 'election candy'?"  So, YB you mean to say that the poor people in the area were not poor and didn't need help before the by-elections were announced?  How come you didn't announce millions of Ringgit of grants, allocations and upgrades before this? Oh just coincidence issit?  Give us a fucking break la, YB.  We may have been apathetic, lazy bums before but we're not stupid.



Anonymous said...

Yes Patrick, like you I am fucking sick of hearing all those BN buggers saying it's a coincidence that so many projects are being announced and grants being given out during by-elections. And the stupid leaders including our DPM says it's not an election ploy. Give me a fucking break too lah. We are not as stupid as you people. Sick and tired of these coincidences. The least they coudl do was shut the fuck up.

agnos said...

development money come so easy with b(u)y election - how we common rakyat wish more BN parliamentarians and ADUNs will choose to meet their maker earlier....

cinafong said...

Mr Teoh You are really cracking me up. I need to buy your book. another Romeo and Juliet tragic romance kind of combination, except ironically this is not funny, but tragic.

Chet said...

There was a short queue at the Traffic Counter just off the link-bridge on P1 between Ikano and Curve this afternoon. Should've taken a picture, lah.

1 Malay-sia(L) said...

i think lei got it wong la...
it was over 17MM summonses unsettled; so said the star.

Anonymous said...

Dammmm....our MP here(a DAP man)is as healthy as a bull. Reckoned should vote for 'who-looks-the-most-unhealthy-chap' at the next GE.

Anonymous said...

Pat, in case you hadn't read this, care to comment about the ultra high-tech investigative techniques utilised by our government forensic pathologist?

Richard said...

richard said,

eh, Patrick, its our tax payers money-lah, everytime an MP kicks the bucket there goes our money. What a legit way to dish out our hard earned tax payers money. F those BN fellas lah.

Anonymous said...

This is another version of the 'I help you, you help me' saga. Carrot on a stick? Hell NO! It is duty bound, you understand? Government's responsibility to the Rakyat! Funny thing tho' cause it only happens in a big scale when you need to get 'somebody' in the ruling camp elected. Most of the bloody time, you don't even see the bugger in town! WINGNUTS!

ahsiang - known as "吹水 - CHUI SUI" previously said...

If got people give you goodies, you don't want meh? Lets pray many more BN MP/ADUN die die die la, we get more more more goodies :P

Gerak K said...

Ever wonder where the money collected from Saman Trafik goes to?

Possibly to BN election warchest? Or to pay for the 1 malaysia goodies bag?

Heng Seai Kie is a disgrace to Chinese for her stupid statement.

Gerak K said...

Ever wonder where the money collected from Saman Trafik goes to?

Possibly to BN election warchest? Or to pay for the 1 malaysia goodies bag?

Heng Seai Kie is a disgrace to Chinese for her stupid statement.

Gerak K said...

Ever wonder where the money collected from Saman Trafik goes to?

Possibly to BN election warchest? Or to pay for the 1 malaysia goodies bag?

Heng Seai Kie is a disgrace to Chinese for her stupid statement.

Anonymous said...

With the BEST shuttle system, 16 Rapid Penang buses will take commuters from Seberang Jaya to factories in the Bayan Lepas Free Industrial Zone (FIZ) from Monday to Friday.

Commuters will need to pay RM1 to park their cars in Sunway Carnival Mall’s car park and board the buses at the bus stop outside Billion Shopping Centre in Seberang Jaya between 5.30am and 8.10am.

The buses will make return trips starting from the bus stop outside Kompleks Bukit Jambul in Bayan Baru through the FIZ area between 4.30pm and 7.30pm.

Chief Minister Lim Guan Eng said the state government is spending RM160,000 a month for the shuttle system, noting that Rapid Penang had given a RM16,000 monthly discount from its original quotation of RM176,000 per month.

“Apart from saving RM250 in travelling costs and reducing cars travelling on the Penang Bridge, commuters can have stress-free rides on these buses, which have free Wifi service,” he said.

For details on the Best system, visit the Penang Transport Council website at

Anonymous said...

Ex-judge Shaikh Daud should not have compromised his stature by allowing himself to be dragooned by BN propagandists to run down Teoh Beng Hock's family and lawyers

Former Court of Appeal judge Datuk Shaikh Daud Ismail should not have compromised his stature by allowing himself to be dragooned by BN propagandists to run down Teoh Beng Hock’s family and lawyers for the family’s decision to withdraw from the Royal Commission of Inquiry into Teoh’s mysterious death at the MACC headquarters in Shah Alam in July 2009.

Anonymous said...

These f*^k*rs UMNO led BN politicians are all f*^ked-up in their heads. The UMNO led government intentionally withheld all forms of aid to us poor rakyat and instead wait for erections and buy erections to throw some crumbs at us to buy our votes. All I can say is a day will come when they will face their judgment for all the sins they have committed against the poor rakyat.

1MalaySia-Sia Sahaja said...

Coincidence, coincidence, coincidence? Correct, correct, correct!

Support 1Malaysia-sia Sahaja : By-election Area First, Funding Now!

Or maybe u prefer :
Subsidies Cut First, Corruption Now & Forever!

Anonymous said...

Now surely that lady in the picture cannot be that deputy minister Heng cause she's looking you right in the eyes. She cannot be telling a lie right?

It is a coincidence lah but then how come her children do not look her in the eyes when she speak to them?

The rakyat can be stupid but her poor children?

lau pek wern said...


Is that your famous voice behind this wonderfully-crafted video?

Shiok Guy said...

Dear Patrick

Watch your interview in NTV7, you are still as sharp as before and funny, witty and fun.

Development only during by (buy) election. Cool! We should elect terminal ill YB.. hope they will passed on within the 5 years.. then can have many many Buy-Election..

Shiok Guy

Anonymous said...

the chinese seems like only care about gambling (kelantan case) and pigs (pork)

AttractYourWalth said...

On the positive side, at least the motorists have a bit more time to contribute to the BN war chest...Oops! I mean pay their summons...

barbararella said...


You should join the crew of 'The Noose' of mediacorp.

Khun Pana aka johanssm said...

If elections conducted by spr are fair and square . Elections would have been banned long time ago .

Anonymous said...

to 9.09pm. true . but better then believing in the devil .!

you know why there is so much trouble in the middle east ? becos they worship the devil !

definetey not GOD because it is about love !