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Thursday, May 12, 2011

Some damn funny stuff

Sssssssssssssssshhhhhh! Cabinet meeting in session.

This is a good Thursday for a few laughs from the newspapers and online news portals.  On the front page of The Sun today there is a story headlined "Islam's status secure". The story is about Najib's furious attempts at defusing the tensions raised by the Utusan Malaysia articles about a Christian plot to take over the government and make Christianity the religion of the country. The PM said that "everyone must accept the fact that Islam is the official religion of the country and that it cannot be changed in whatever form. This is because the reality is that we have the Federal Constitution and its provision on the position of Islam and the other religions is very clear......Under whatever circumstances, the Federal Constitution cannot be amended and as such, no one should be worried or feel uneasy on this matter"...

What's funny is that Najib said the Federal Constitution is cannot be amended "under whatever circumstances".  I think it is common knowledge that the Malaysian Constitution, since Merdeka, has been amended more than 600 times!!! So why our prime minister tell us cannot? Like that will sure scare anyone who thinks that the nonsense Utusan says will come true, right? Funny, right?

Another funny can be found on page N3 of The Star today.  The headline read DOE: Drop in visibility an annual affair.  The story was in reference to the shitty air-quality that we are currently experiencing. Haze up your ass that chokes your lungs faster than a pack of finest Virginia tobacco.  What's funny? Don't you remember that just a few short years ago it was, "What?! Fuck the baargers!". Demonstrate in front of their Embassy. Boycott their maids and labourers.  Report them to the United Nations. Stop listening to keroncong. How can they do this to us every year? And now it is "An annual affair"?  But at least now they do say that the haze is the result of winds blowing over smoke from open burning in Sumatra.  No more that "a neighbouring country" kind of shit. Progress!

On another page of The Star today is the report about Taib Mahmud's son divorcing his estranged wife.  Mahmud's wife is asking for RM400million in matrimonial property and 'gifts'.  Now I find that really funny. Why?  How come Barisan Nasional chief ministers and YB's always have the ability to raise children who have such brilliant entrepreneurial skills as to amass vast fortunes in such a short time and at such a young age? Funny, right? Okay la. So it also pisses me off la. You too, right?

And this to me is the funniest bit from The Star today......"Umno has to be the pillar of the country. The Umno brand and its leaders are still strong and valued by the people. If we work hard to maintain our position by putting the people first, we will continue to celebrate more anniversaries in the future"....Najib Razak, president of Umno.

I want to laugh with you some more la but the haze is coming inside and I'm choking. It's just an annual affair la.



Anonymous said...

REALLY like the picture of the cabinet meeting....hahahahahahahaha

A picture is DEFINITELY worth a thousand words..!!!

Utusan Kampung said...

notice u have set up Mandarin version of your blog. I anticipate Bahasa version so that many of my kampong folks can enjoy your humorous shots and broaden their thinking minds !
If there is a vancancy to be translator i would like to apply. pay negotiable as i can opt just for daily lunch meals at your restaurant. What say you ?

patrickteoh said...

Hi Utusan. My friend does the Mandarin translation for me. For an occasional meal and beers together. We can make some arrangement if you're interested.

former Star reader said...

hah. The Star. What more can be expected from it when the editor publicly takes side. And let's not forget who owns the publication anyway.

indahnyasisuria said...

I'm former Star-NST reader, also former Buletin Utama watcher; my friend said don't watch TV series from Venezuela,Indonesia and such cos it was absurd.. and I told them 'do u know what more absurd? our National TV and newspaper'. It too absurd that will make u want to run to a moving bus.. LOL!

Anonymous said...



Wak Arjun said...

What that DNA (Datuk Najis Altantuya) fella said was seriously macam cibai if u ask me.

Niamah!!! UMporNO my arse!!!

Anonymous said...

Real funny Patrick. I like the part about UMNO being a brand as claimed by their president. No wonder one of his half baked deputy minister recently proposed an UMNO university and an UMNO scholarship fund to try to revive the brand's malignant diseased image.

Anonymous said...

ok, change change CHANGE, come GE13 !

Anonymous said...

fyi : there's an indoor-waterfall in the 50juta-newly-renovated puduraya bus station !!

Anonymous said...

WHAT IS TO GORENG-goreng THIS RELIGION : islam , buddha, christian, Isnt it we live harmony now?
maybe the african students come in to screw our community like drug related problems, or maybe we screw ourselves by letting others take advantages of our malaysian people..
The police is as police as possible... what the fuxxx


Anonymous said...

Poor Najib.

He has to have split personality to deal with religions and races in this country.

Anonymous said...

Sick to see hishamudin still defending utusan for the seditious article agaisnt the Christians.

Eve said...

Uncle Patrick
I am just 6 years older than Adam. I love rock music. I hope with your experience as well known dj can put up a list of your favourite all time rock music. I am still learning to appreiciate 60's & 70's rock. thk you.
I love james Durbin. Does Adam also watches American Idol ?
Thk you.

natives are restless said...

DIAPERS and POLITICIANS should be changed often both for the same reason.

Anonymous said...

UMNO in-fighting is getting worse and now the right-wingers are desperate enough to use Religion.

Watch for more rounds of Najib (with his sidekicks) v. Muhyiddin (with Perkasa, Pembela & Dr. M). Will it be history repeating itself - Najib squeezing out Abdullah, now Muhyiddin trying his luck with Najib??? Watch out for the wildcard - Ros...

Anonymous said...

Hello Eve

American Idol has evolved into Nashville Idol where one will win by singing country song with reference to Lord Jesus and 9/11.

James Durbin will follow Daugtry to greatness.

I think Patrick will get Adam to watch Akademi Fantasia or Mentor to improve his BM.

Anonymous said...

Dear Eve

Adam is too cute to enjoy Rock Music as of now.
Patrick will get Awie (Celup Gang) to introduce him to Rock Music before venture into Western Rock may be 6 years later as old as you are now.
Patrick now too occupied with restaurant and acting work that he has lost touch with rock music.
Right, Pat ?

Anonymous said...

Dear Eve

Adam is too cute to enjoy Rock Music as of now.
Patrick will get Awie (Celup Gang) to introduce him to Rock Music before venture into Western Rock may be 6 years later as old as you are now.
Patrick now too occupied with restaurant and acting work that he has lost touch with rock music.
Right, Pat ?

For the sake of Adam said...

Talent Corp = Wishful thinking in serious state of denial

Face it, majority of Malaysian talents overseas are non-bumis. Why would they want to come back and treated as “pendatang” and having to cope with racist and religious tones from UMNO and its cronies?

Anonymous said...

Went to bookshop recently. Saw your book with that oh so funny face, What berak or something? Flip through.. Gosh! it's sooooo... Crappy, like, were you crapping on the pages or something much like what your face were doing.

Anonymous said...

Funny, how Malaysians worship things that are American and adopt them as theirs.

First we pray to the American idol, next we create the Malaysian version of the American idol ... Won't be surprise if Malaysians kowtow in awe to see an American walking past in Kuala Lumpur.

Don't we have pride in our heritage and what we have?

Ummm ... maybe not. Our government has been telling certain section of the population that they are weak, useless and needs government protection from the big bad world.

Anonymous said...

We are more educated and informed than our parent's generation to see through these hullabaloo!!

Vote these idiots out!

Khun Pana aka johanssm said...

My Engerish is terrible.
Isn't matrimony means getting hitch and alimony is for a divorce?

It is true that the umno is just a brand name.BN is just a group of companies.
If the brand is no good , we don't buy that lousy brand.
There are other brands in Malaysia.
Malaysia needed better managers to manage the country.

Anonymous said...

cant deny they are superior . one thing for sure ,they can sent a robot to planet mars and we still cant build something that does not leak...futhermore if they dont really like you ..they can just pick you up and sent you to kamuting cuba...hee...hee

Anonymous said...

Happy Wesak Day to all.
Peace in Malaysia.

Anonymous said...

Instead of addressing the “real issues” faced by Malaysians (eg. sugar price hike, high cost of housing), the government was allowing Ibrahim and his Perkasa to act as distractions by talking about a crusade against Christians.

myke8888 said...

Personally Pat... I think it's high time all Malaysians stand out and demand transparency from the government otherwise they will not be getting our votes. This should also includes Petronas's accounts !
Obviously we have all be taken for a ride by all these idiots helming our country.
Unless they can tell us how Malaysia.. rich in natural resources can end up this way. We should be a very rich country.

Peace said...

As Patrick 'forgot' his Wesak Day greetings, please note that this year's Wesak Day's theme as announced by the Malaysian Buddhist Association is "Cultivate Loving Kindness, Foster Harmony". It Ireminds us that love and blessings is not just for Buddhists but for all mankind including Muslims, Christians and Hindus.

all.... rise said...

what!!! eve is older than adam?

Rakyat FC said...

All Malaysians from all races, faiths, and creed must unite to fight the number one enemy of Malaysia - liars, racists and bigots, evil and wicked man. All must know by now that Umno and its allies wants just to stay in power and care not a thing for the people of Malaysia. We must not stop believing the lies of Umno and its cohorts. Malays, Chinese and all who love their children and future grand children must unite and fight against our enemy - Umno members and their allies , Perkasa, Utusan, Pembela and many more.

Anonymous said...

PM is lecturing on moderation in Oxford and here extremism is rampaging in our beloved country. From his previous speeches Malaysian judge him not to be practicing what he preach. He should deal with the situation he b4 he preached in Oxford.
Wayang to win votes always frighten the Malays and holding them at ransom to vote from UMNO. The BN is checkmate and running out of fresh ideas. Games can be seen as the 13GE around the corner. Sicko Govt we had no concern about nation building but pitting opponent parties, playing with the rakyat's sentiments.

ktteokt said...

Tell me which religion in Malaysia enjoy such benefits as not getting booked for NOISE POLLUTION and HAZARDOUS PARKING except Islam? Not only do mosques disturb the peace and tranquility of the environnment but they have the bloody right to "chop" TV programmes just to air prayers during Azan times!

Come Fridays when they thank god and you can see roads in front of mosques jammed up with cars parked hazardously until the middle of the road! Tell me which religion practises such things?

I still remember a couple of years ago, there was a news report in a Chinese newspaper complete with photographs. It showed a photograph of a "diligent" policeman issuing summons to vehicles illegally parked in front of the "Nine Emperor" Temple in Ampang which holds their celebrations for nine days each year. Compared to 52 Fridays a year, this is peanuts! Why didn't this diligent policeman go around mosques to book illegally parked cars during Friday prayers?????

Anonymous said...

Ah you Ah pat tai-lo. pls stop all this 'baiting' for some tak-boleh-tahan chinese soh hai to trash the ruling govt.can or not ?

Anonymous said...

Altantuya was murdered in October 2006 by two of Najib's bodyguards, chief inspector Azilah Hadri, 30 and corporal Sirul Azhar Umar, 35, who stood trial and were pronounced guilty in April 2009.

However, the still unanswered question is: Why did Najib's bodyguards murder Altantuya?

Birney said...

Since the days of Mahathir, UMNO has had great plans and visions. Just recall all the wawasans we have had. We even had perfect vision - 2020. With Malaysia, visions are possible - Malaysia Boleh! But that's all that Malaysia under UMNO can accomplish. So long as UMNO forms the government, that's all it can form - visions. Reality remains a complete blur.

My children were educated in Malaysian schools up to the primary level, one to the secondary level before my wife and I had the blessing to go abroad and have them finish schooling abroad. They enjoyed schooling far, far more in the adopted country than in Malaysia. We have been to PTAs and to open school days in both places and we see so clearly the stark difference in the quality of the teachers. In Malaysia, we take admit poor quality students into our universities because of the colour of their skin and their religion. We end up with poor graduates who in turn make poor teachers. And this vicious cycle perpetuates itself. Our teachers can't say a word about their philosophy of education or their pedagogical methods but the teachers elsewhere make it all plaint to us and so our children excel under them.

Without any discrimination and without favours, both my children have gone through and graduated from universities that rank very highly in all the reputable rankings of universities as as in the Academic Ranking of World Universities and Times Higher Education World University Ranking. One now works for one of the best software companies in the world, and another has just completed postgraduate studies at a truly world class university. If they had remained in Malaysia, they would not have had the opportunity to study in a world class university because not a single Malaysian university has made it into the ranks of world class universities. We had a world class university but under Mahathir's administration it became a second, if not third, class university.

Once, I used to tell my children that they should return to work in Malaysia and make it a better place. I have since changed my mind. I now tell my children to stay where they are, where they are respected and rewarded for who they not, and not judged by the colour of their skin or by their religious belief. I don't want my grandchildren growing up in their own country where they will be discriminated against because of the colour of their skin or because of their religious belief. Why should they grow up in their own country which treats them like second or third class citizens when they can grow up in their adopted country that treats them like its own? So long as UMNO does not change, and I don't expect it to, and so long as UMNO forms the government, I will never ask my children to return to Malaysia.

We do make trips back to Malaysia but each time, we are reminded that we are safer in our adopted country than we are in Malaysia. Just look at the crime committed by criminals in the streets. My own wife was attacked and badly injured by a snatch thief. And that's not even mentioning the crime committed by high officials, crimes of the abuses of power, of corruption, and injustice. Murderers go unpunished. Those who call others to violence against unarmed Malaysians, like Ibrahim Ali and even the Minister of Home Affairs, go unpunished, but those who plead the case for the rakyat are punished because they are from the opposition parties. I feel safer abroad then I do in my own country.

Anonymous said...

why was aminah murdered = why is cock crossing the road !?

Anonymous said...

The boss is always right mahhh. Rakyat di dahulukan. hmmm? If rakyat is to di dahulukan, then boss comes second and rakyat should always be right. Isn't it ? So rakyat is right in putting Barisan Nasional on the throne of power.

Anonymous said...

To 1.54pm, i've seen people parked cars hazardously along the roads in PJ when attending church on Sundays. So please, don't blame people who go to mosques only. In Bangsar, the same thing goes to temple goers every week! Regardless of religion, and especially if u r Malaysian, u wil see the same idiotic behaviour!!

Ms Think