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Wednesday, June 08, 2011

Ipoh chee cheong fun


The first thing I heard as I stepped out of my car in front of the legendary Kedai Makanan Canning Garden was this resonant voice projected from the depths of the diaphram. The owner of the voice stood over a plastic chopping board, a plastic chopper in his hand. Resolutely cutting pages of white chee cheong fun into strips. This was the man whose chee cheong fun stall I had been looking for that morning to satisfy my craving for some good Ipoh-style chee cheong fun. Ok, for the less-informed chee cheong fun is literally translated into pig's intestine noodles although that part of the pig's anatomy is not used in the preparation of this quintessential Ipoh-ite breakfast food. Ok, back to the man. He was swearing in Cantonese that would make a Triad hitman blush. It appeared that was part of his charm because none of the queue of customers seemed to take any notice of his reference to parts of their parents anatomy liberally spiced with descriptions of what they could do with their orders for "less soya sauce", "more chili, less sweet sauce", "no shalllots" and the list did indeed go on to an extent that it would test Job's patience. But his swearing seemed to concentrate on how busy he was and that he didn't have the capacity to listen to everybody at the same time.

I went and stood next to him. And when there was a pause in his rants I slipped in saying, "Excuse me, can you tell me when you have time for me to tell you what I want? I can see you're busy so I am asking you to tell me when I can speak to you."  That seemed to shock him. He paused his chops of the oily noodles. Took a long look at me and then...SURPRISE! He asked me for my order despite the fact that there were at least 4 customers ahead of me. A minute later his assistant shoved a large metal plate of chee cheong fun at me and barked "Sarm kao yee!" 3 Ringgit 20 sen. I took the plate, sat down at a nearby table and enjoyed my breakfast while watching the next customer curse when told that I had taken the last order of chee cheong fun available for the day.

The famous Canning Garden chee cheong fun. It is more chewy than the factory-produced variety that we KL folks are used to but definitely more tasty. I like mine with just soya sauce and oil although you can order it with a variety of other toppings. Curry pigskin, mushroom sauce or even (gasp!) a thick gravy of prawn paste. 


The guru of chee cheong fun, Ipoh-style. Depending on whom you speak to this fler has been selling his chee cheong fun on the same corner of the kedai makanan for 30, 40, 50 years.  But looking at him I would say 40 is the closest. He looked like in his early 60's. Quite trim which meant he probably never ate his own oily cooking. Tobacco-stained teeth. And an attitude. When I spoke with him later he informed me that Ipoh people were the most difficult, fussy customers in the world. More of that, less of this, don't cut it too thick, don't sprinkle sesame seeds...if I get gastric from your pickled green chili you pay for my doctor's bills ah? I forgot to ask his name. But I am sure that I shall visit his stall again. And maybe even introduce him to.......


NIAMAH!!!

63 comments:

Anonymous said...

Patrick,
Have you tried the ccf stall in PJ Section 14 (Right-Angle) coffeshop next to a row of single-storey houses?
Kopi-O is good too.

sintaicharles said...

I will head to his stall if I come to Ipoh. Thanks for the valuable info.

Anonymous said...

did'nt known you can be' bribed ' too....niamah !

cockeye said...

He looks like you ! Hahahahahahaha.....

JIPP said...

Haha. He should pay u for this Pat. I'm sure a lot your ur readers would come to hv a taste of his chee cheong. Including me of course. :-D

Anonymous said...

pat, you should try this ccf stall at the back of 'Kong Hin' makan shop in the old town & the seller is very frenly & cheeky man !!

Anonymous said...

Do you know there is also the same kind of stall in KL? It is @Petaling Street-a corner stall opposite the famous 'lor hong kor'drink stall.Try it yourself!

Anonymous said...

Hi Patrick, Chee Cheong Fun is not as fun as what the OWC lady is harping lately. Thought you will give her your classic niamah in your write-up. Yes, Ipoh has plenty of good foods, yum, yum and good nite life. Maybe the OWC can learn from stories of the hairdressers, etc. Ha. Cheers!!

Anonymous said...

ooi..how come no screwing the gomen wan?? ..kena warning ah? or like the rest of the chinese ...fuckers ..I am not going to die for you ..mann!! yu die your business . my pocket full important ..(or going to be full soon)

Anonymous said...

The chee cheong fun stall inside Kg Simee wet market is also good. But the one in Canning Graden is still my favourite.

Shit stirrer said...

How much you got paid for the advert, bro Pat ? Sarm chin yee ? Should have charged you more, you long pocket and short hand.

Now now ..... don't get angry. Just pulling your short legs !

NiaPah said...

Hey,Mr.Patrick,now you are into food already? Where is your regular niamah story which I enjoyed very much.
Hope to hear from you again,bye!

Anonymous said...

What does this chee cheong fun got to do with Niamah when semua barang naik?

Patrick you really lost the plot already lah like that On The Beat Wong guy.

Rodney said...

Your blog suits his vocabulary just fine. He'd probably make a good advertising tool for your blog. Imagine if he says "niamah" the whole morning, and if people get offended, he can say, "i promoting PT blog mah...what's your problem? NIAMAH!!!". Cheers.

Jimmy Liew said...

Good story :)

Dave Avran said...

Its my fav too, Pat.
Along with the "hidden" stall
in Pasir Pinji. Ipoh CCF beats KL anytime :-)

sang said...

Patlick,
I dell you ha, Ipoh hawkers are vely ba-bei, if not ho lan-si, solly ha I no good English speaking. You'll kum f2f of those hawker stores when you try to order 2 plates for 1 person. They'll say " Ney saek kow sai ah,only you eat ah,other ppl don't eat ah?". WTF man! Like going to Loctor, you tell him here pain there pain. The Loctor will say "am I Loctor or you?". WTF man. Maybe you call it professionism but sevice is a strenge word. Oh, our BN politician oso same same..

sang said...

Patrick,
I've met you once way back when you were in Redifusion 2 yers later I left Bolehland and now living in GErmanland for the last 40 yrs. If you go to London China town, go to this Wong Kee restaurant. You sure kena fuck if you ask this ask that and simply look for a seat yourself. The waiters are not racist like Perkasa ppl, they fuck kuailo,hug-kuai and yellow kuai too. Not sure is still there. PPl go there not bcos of its food but simply to witness somebody get fuck by the waiters. Don't go there if you've oledy a bad day.Haha...good entertainment while you eat your cha-siew mien.

patrickteoh said...

Hi Sang. I have been to Wong Kee. May times and I love it. The place has character and big portions which is great for a traveler on a tight budget.

sang said...

Hi Pat,
you see ordinary people like you and me don't simply Cheat2 or lie2. Kolleck2, big portion,and I had a big laugh when I saw the face reaction of those kena NIAMAH. One of this day you and I must go there again, but you must bring this Ee-bra-him along cos look at his face I know he loves to chop cha-siew. Let these no-racist waiters of Wong Kee teach him a lesson what racism is all about. Looking at his outfit with our mahal-dir enough make me, Xiao gao si wo (mandarin).Imagine how hard for you and I holding back our tears not to burst out laughing dead. Haha.....Oh secret tip, don't post this one. Don't let Perkasa men read this one.

sang said...

Patrick, I and Ee-bra-him go to Wong kee, China Town in London.
Continue....
Three of us walking in the restaurant,almost full house. Pat says "Ali, You choose a table". Altho there's only one table left empty. Ali leads us to the table without wait to be seated. Nee lo mo ah (tnanslation of NIAMAH in cando)Ali kena fucked the 1st time.
Seated. Ali says how come no Malay menu ? I say "Ali,since you're Ketuanan Malayu maybe they'll give you special treatment, ask for menu in Bahasa Malay". So he asks, kena fucked 2nd time.
Ok,ok WTF forget about that. Ali asks us can he get Cha-siew-fan but in poutry. I said "Ali, but you chop Cha-siew right?". "Yeah,but there're some look alike Pakis next to us, not nice man if they recognise me". "Ok Ali, you order" Pat said. Kena fucked the 3rd time.
Pat loves Chili so do Ali and me. I say "Ali, go get the Sampah over there". I know he kena fuck again cos I made the same mistake before without asking permission from the waiter. Haha, solly ha, Ali, this one from me.
We pay each for ourselves,tax payers have paid enough for Ali, so I don't see why I must pay for him.Afterall I don't pay someone else to fuck him, he gets fuck for himself. Ali is stingy if it comes to pay for his own money, so no tips for the hard working waiter. He kena fucked the 5th time.
You have to look at Ali's face when we walk out of Wong Kee. Ali asks why we didn't do something to defend him. Pat and I said to him "Ali c'mon,didn't you teach us how to defend your own race? Are we both Ketuanan Malayu?". Ali says" NO, you not". We don't even think about it at all, but you get your special treatment today. 3 ppl walking in the street of London,but you only hear 2 ppl laughing all the way while Ali with his embarrassing face.

Anonymous said...

Haha.. Wong Kee is notorious. I remember when I made my first virgin step into London's Chinatown, my friend kept telling me about this restaurant. He told me there was a time this restaurant decided to give better service to their customer and stop f***ing them. The result - its business drops. When they went back to their old f***ing way - its business went back to normal. I supposed people really go there to watch the customers get f***ed.

ChristinaC said...

Ohh Uncle Pat, that's the chee cheong fun I usually drop by most every day. And the shop just a stone's throw frm my mom's place. Ahhh.. The "chap fan" also not bad, esp the fried chicken yummy!. Since moving down to kl, I missed the chee cheong fun so so much. And when I'm back to Ipoh for visiting, sure I'll go and look for him...

Mukris Mamakthir said...

An engineer can make $3,000 a month working very hard but .....

i) he can make $3,000 on the stock market in a week.
ii) he can make much more kissing politicians arse
iii) he can make much more becoming a business man
iv) he gets better recognition for having a movie star wife etc etc

so why become a good and brilliant engineer in Malaysia ???????

Anonymous said...

While rakyat is suffering with Barang Naik our dear Patrick can still tell people to indulge in chee cheung fun.

Really lost focus now. Truly niamah!

CSL Jr said...

DAP万岁,国阵,马华,民政统统回家睡(因为你们本来就在睡)

Halimah said...

RM3.5 million for house + RM6.5 million for landscaping = RM10 million

IRB must now display to the public the persoanl income tax that toyol has been paying since he started practising as a dentist, so that we can know how a dentist can earn RM10 million in such a short time.

Actually RM10 million is peanuts to a certain white-haired vampire in Sarawak!!!

Anonymous said...

Niamah without mojo.

Anak Malaysia said...

so many shit happening in the country now, so many things to write abt and all u can come up with is chee cheong fun?

Anonymous said...

ok, enough of ccFun ...let's go to COW ...oops ...OWC 4 more Fun lagi shiok , ok ? PLEASE !!

Anonymous said...

As reciprocal : men should form a club bernama GSC for the obedient wives' orgasm , ok !?

Simba said...

The test on whether Najib is sincere in implementing his"1 Malaysia" policy is whether he'll abolish race column from all government forms

Anonymous said...

Pat, you seem to have cooled down with food and no more "Niamah" stuffs. I expected you to comment on COWs (club of Obedient Wives), weeks ago.Well, too many have blogged on food, don't be one of them. We want your "Niamah" stuffs.

Anonymous said...

hey patrick,

the motherfucker's name is ah sung, pronounced like the past participle of the verb "sing".

glad to say that i've never kana fuck by him even once, maybe because i've been eating his ccf since i was fucken 8 yrs old, and i'm 38 this year!

Le Buffoon said...

i prefer chee cheong fun in Pasir Pinji (old couple selling at their house). Super long queue & ppl tapau in bulk!

Anonymous said...

eh niamah chow hai sang? cannot write england dont write lah.....real poor stand england and seriously you are a little incoherent in your thought process better get a neuro to it check out...

no wonder kwei lo look down on you fellas ..really give 'real educated malaysian chinese 'a bad name.

niamah !!!!!

mustafa .

Anonymous said...

to 8.40pm.this is what i do ,i tell my wife to also fuck as much as possible because it is written in the sex book . wife got orgasm make a good happy wife.

i arrange male prostitute for her. just to have variety . (in size and diameter ..the penis of course)

we are all very happy.

P/S. by the way size does matter .

Anonymous said...

to anak malaysia..you think uncle pat stupid or what ..kena questing by polis kena black eye who pity him...

you are a real so hai ...lah anak babi!!

k.w.chang

zorro said...

Patrick, a couple claimed their CCF comes from Canning Garden and I forget which one of them is immediate family of your Ipoh man. The used to operate from kopi tiams in SS2 and old town. Now Nancy operates from a van. Damn shiok one. But you got to be early there. I will get you a packet one of these days.

sang said...

Anonymous said..While rakyat is suffering with Barang Naik...
Anak Malaysia said...so many shit happening in the country now...
Honestly, we're not that bad lah, c'mon. Talking a plate of chee cheong fun just halp all of us forget about Barang Naik and many shit happening for awhile mah. Can you talk all day about Barang Naik and shits without go makan ? Lots of thing especially politic won't change and prices won't come down. But chee cheong fun does fill your stomach after that you can shit whatever you want. With a little bit of laughter you see thing more possitive mah.
You don't see the situation in m'sia the way it shld have, go eat
chee cheong fun, after that join the BERSIH 2.0, have fun. Turn the CCF into power and you can walk a mile or two side by side with BERSIH 2.0 supporters.

Anonymous said...

I'm from ipoh, heard of this ccf but had not once patronized the place yet. And not planning to.

Sorry, but I'm not into hawkers who scold and swear, no matter how good their fare may be.

Anonymous said...

lousy....no good lah...

puppy dog said...

Patrick
Are you one of the speakers at the 'World Bloggers and Social Media Summit 2011' to be held this Wed at Putra World Trade Centre?

www.worldbloggersummit.com

Sudin said...

Rais Yatim splurged RM100 million, or half the annual budget for creative projects, on a poorly attended one-day arts event that local artists reportedly dubbed an "instant noodle project".

Malaysian artists so laku?

Rais is wasting rakyat money!

Saifudin said...

The UMNO/BN Warlords, the cronyism, the race based patronage, the injustices, the marginalisation and the money politics which started 22 years ago has now become cancerous within its own ruling BN Govt.

For too long have we tolerated those in power siphoning monies for their own personal gain, all in the name of 'Bumiputera rights'. Equality and meritocracy are not, as some assume, foreign concepts to these warlords. Rather, they knowingly bleed the country dry at their own people's expense, the people whose 'rights' they are seemingly championing.

Mansion Biru said...

As the government has allowed non-malay local movies to be accorded the same tax incentives as Bahasa Malaysia or Malay movies, I hope to see Patrick Teoh in local chinese or tamil movies soon!!!

Astro should woo Patrick for the sequel of 'Big Day' to be shown in next Chinese New Year!

Anonymous said...

dr. told my wife : " aiyah, no use to join the COW lah , wat you need is EPO & not cow's milk ! "

SIGHS !

Anonymous said...

Biniku : '...sorry...sudah manopaused lah ...maaf ! '

Aku : "...but...man-NO-pause one ! "

nkkhoo said...

Penang PR government spent RM 0 for its popular tourism facebook vs BN government 1.76 million
Ng Yen Yen showing her incompetent and wasteful nature again.

I often visit her facebook and see nothing is professional except a flash image which I (as a non-IT man) can design at a fraction of cost.

Philippines is having an online campaign to put Puerto Princesa Underground River on the seven nature wonders.

Why don’t Ng Yen Yen compares her ministry facebook spending with Penang state tourism facebook?

This below facebook design work cost is no more than RM3000, not that exorbitant RM300,000 paid by Tourism Ministry.

https://www.facebook.com/DrYenYen?sk=app_4949752878

Anonymous said...

Pat,
Next month blog,please writ up on astro increase price---, maybe indah water ,tenaga shit again, , lets write people focus concern on daily the big buaya eating up all the rakyat material things, that better,lately gomen play -play with sudan president come shopping here,maybe screw some malaysia girls for fun, NIAMAH , gomen indeed..the bigger pictureis sure pig usus turn up..

we vote for the shit gomen ,they screw us every angle.....niamah.

Anonymous said...

Tidak ada beza sama ada MCA berada dalam kerajaan atau tidak kerana para pemimpin MCA tidak berani menyatakan pandangan ketika dalam Kabinet sebaliknya meluahkan ketidakpuasan hati kepada media di luar Kabinet

Kita tidak terkejut dengan kenyataan yang dikeluarkan oleh Menteri Perdagangan Dalam Negeri, Koperasi dan Kepenggunaan, Ismail Sabri Yaakob yang menyatakan bahawa Presiden MCA, Chua Soi Lek tidak menentang pemotongan subsidi disel ketika mesyuarat Majlis Ekonomi Negara yang memutuskan isu tersebut.

Anonymous said...

Biniku : ' ...so you mau saya macam Sarah to let you sleep with my maid
....!!??'
aku : " .......!!"

Anonymous said...

RE:SPIN PHRASE /TOOLS to SPIN :MADE IN MALAYSIA
----------------------------------
1. Misquoted
2. WRONGLY QuotEd
3. Mis understood
4. Mis Interpret
5. interpret withEvil Intention
6. Mis Read
7. trying to defame
8. ....more . sorry ...no more free SPIN techique.

Anonymous said...

Biniku was having UTI...again !
Together we visited a pretty young doctor who advised us to be BERSIH at all times , then she 'stared' deep into my eyes & told me to put my hands on the table to check if they are BERSIH or nails cut or not & said .......!!

AKU : " ...wat !? ...me?...I....??"

Biniku blushed !

Elin said...

Patrick ..that is the best CCF in town. Glad you like enjoyed the CCF despite his swearing ! Wonders if his saliva went into your CCF...LOL!

Anonymous said...

to.5.48 .

eh. dummy ! are you sure it is your finger ?? never know bro.!!

reanaclaire said...

hey Patrick, that is my CCF boyfriend as mentioned in my posts last time.. hahahaha... every sunday i will be there around 10am if i m in ipoh.. i heard his ccf is home made by his own wife.. that is why he sells expensive.. worth paying bec it is fresh.. but only setback is he is very very Fierce!!i always end up ordering something simple.. i said i want Everything IN!

Anonymous said...

u mean HER own ah !!??

Anonymous said...

to.10.25 . cannot be hers for sure .dirty nails ..?? the dummy should not take things for granted !.

Anonymous said...

pat, DO dirty fingers actually cause UTI ?

Anonymous said...

can anyone tell me the address of the CCF stall in Canning Garden?

NiaPoNiaYe... said...

Ppl...doesn't this sounds like the government..?? "Celaka korang..Aku bagi kau ape..ko makan je..duk diam diam..! Ape lak banyak suggestion..banyak sgt permintaan..? janji bisnes aku jalan..poket aku meletup..!ko ingat aku kesah..? klo tak suka, gi makan tempat lain..Oops ccf dah abis..sori, permintaan korang tak dapat aku nak tunaikan.."..get the maksud 'tersirat' or not...? haihzz...niamah...

Anonymous said...

There's this CCF in Ipoh Garden South(behind a dance centre/pizza hut)-->I think..Since my mum who drives..lol~

This CCF I must demand my mum to tapau for me everyday...

The pig skin is the BEST!!
Highly recommended!!

P/s:The aunty and her daughter very friendly also..^_^

Nuffnang