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Friday, August 19, 2011

Weekend funnies

Yay!!! It's Friday and the start of a weekend. And being Friday I went looking in The Star for some weekend funnies to share with you all. And I was not disappointed. There are quite a few.  But here are some to get you started on your own quest for weekend MSM comedy.

#1

Okay, let's start with the front page The Star's Metro (Central edition. Not sure if you folks in other parts of Pen. MY got this too).  There is this colourful photo of a row of Jalur Gemilang bunting stretching into the distance.  The story was titled, "See stripes". And I must admit I was seeing something when I read the accompanying caption. It read......


As the ultimate sign of patriotism, pillars at the Institut Latihan DBKL in Bandar Tun Razak are draped with the Jalur Gemilang. A young man is seen admiring the final effect.

Alright, at first you may not find anything funny about that story. But read the caption again. The word used is ULTIMATE.

Putting up a few flags when ordered to do so is the ULTIMATE sign of patriotism?  Is it? Then we are indeed a sad country lah.  And if you look at the face of the young man in the photo, admiration would appear to be furthest from his mind at that moment in his life.

#2

Remember a few days ago I echoed by friend's suggestion that the compulsory acquisition and perhaps eventually destruction of the heritage buildings in Chinatown, Petaling Street was just a government side-show? And that it was to give a chance for MCA and Barisan Nasional to regain Chinese support? Of course, days after that post went on niamah.com Chua Soi Lek visited Petaling St. and reassured all the affected flers there "Not to worry. We shall kao tim for you one." And today in the news it is reported that Syed Hamid Albar (remember the fler who handed our little piece of rock in the middle of the ocean to Singapore?) who is the Land Public Transport Commission chairman, said "MRT alignment can be discussed" one. "We are willing to talk and listen to anyone regarding (the) project, he said.

Phwaaar! Really ah? Then how come didn't talk before making the announcement about the acquisition? People make noise only now want to talk issit? Why?  And by the way, I would like to ask Syed Hamid Albar, as chairman of the Land PUBLIC Transport Commission, how many times in the past 10 years has he used public transport?

#3

Hidden in page 4 of the main paper, The Star reports some funnies by the Deputy Prime Minister.  the headline was "Language breaks barriers, says Umno deputy chief".

Phwaaar!  Good right? And just when you might want to cut our YB's some slack you read that what the DPM and the Selanyang Umno fler Subahan Kamal were actually doing was calling on our police flers to learn 2 other languages besides Bahasa Malaysia!!! English is good, said the Subahan fler. Then our mata-mata can chit chat with the tourists. Maybe he doesn't realise that most of the tourists that come to Malaysia these days speak either Mandarin or Arabic.  And I am very sure that most of the police flers present at the functions as well as those reading the news stories were thinking, "Hiyah! Give us better salaries and better working conditions la. Then we can free ourselves from worrying about where the next meal is coming from and if our children are getting the care they deserve."

But I am sure that is not in the DPM or the Subahan fler's portfolios la. So don't talk, okay.

But the funniest weekend funny is buried in page 24 of the main paper and titled "The army is apolitical"


#4 

It was reported some days ago that some army flers had squealed that they were ordered to vote for their officers and their wives.

Apparently, this pissed the armed forces big boss off. So this fler, Jeneral Zulkifli Mohd Zin announced, or rather threatened very loudly .........


The people need to show their support for the army's role in the country. How can we be loyal to you if you are disloyal to us.

In some countries that fler would have been taken out and lynched for saying something like that. But this is Malaysia and so it becomes just another weekend funny.

You have a great weekend okay?


NIAMAH!!!

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

Patrick,

On the flags.....isn't the moon's crescent and star the other way round?

Karen said...

Hi Pat,

Am reading daily jokes printed on the newspapers. Thanks to our jokers in the gomen.... sigh....

Happy weekend!!

Trevor said...

I'm loyal to the king :-)

And sadly, in Malaysia, we don't have 'ultimate patriotism' in the rest of 11 months.

Anonymous said...

Uncle Patrick, thanks for the weekend funnies.

Anyway, watched The Pupil 2. Saw you in the drama. Like the show...

Anonymous said...

Perkasa has just called Malays an inferior race that perpetually require NEP! I think Malaysia is the only country where the majority needs to be assisted, while the minority is said to enjoy an advantage! In Perkasa's mind, Malaysia is the only multi racial country.

Yeah right! Look at the USA. Look at Singapore. Look at UK. Look at Australia. Look at Chile. These are all countries with large multi racial populations.

If the majority, with all the help that they have been given still cannot progress, then shouldn't we stop spoon feeding them? After 53 years of doing that, the crutches need to come off.

The human spirit is something to behold. When confronted with adversity, it will strive to overcome. How do you think the minority was able to achieve what it achieved over these many years, even when it was continuously put down and discriminated against.

However, when something is given easily, there is no motivation to lift a finger, and easily become lazy, fat and stagnant.

Pay a visit to our zoo and look at the animals in their "habitats." They wait for food to be given to them, and the rest of the day, they just lay around, doing nothing.

Rooster said...

Malaysia, Land of Tokkok.
Tokkok, tokkok, tokkok.
Everyday tokkok, not only Friday got tokkok

Malaysia Boleh Tokkok, infact Malaysia is Tokkok King. What big cocks..........or capons.

Niamah tokkokokokokok.

Anonymous said...

Really, so the threat to "acquire" those old buildings was just a ploy to show that MCA can do something? I thought some people have cast their beady eyes on the land and are just waiting to lay their grubby paws on them.

Anonymous said...

perkasa can suck my balls !

Marduk said...

Rooster the cock, what kok are you talking about???!!!

Anonymous said...

The fler playing peek-a-boo at the buntings la1

Anonymous said...

that jeneral an UMNOPutra diehard?

Truly Bodoh.

Elsewhere, he will be a Janitor by now.

mata kucing said...

For Malaysians who have yet to register as voters the whole process of registering as voters will usually take about three months and if all information has been verified to be true and correct they will be registered and eligible to vote. But for the “instant citizens” , a BN fraud aided by NRD their approval is almost instant.

We demand an extensive and detailed investigation and audit of NRD records and data.

Anonymous said...

How I wish the UMNO sponsored Perkasa had carried out their threat and burned down the Star's office.

Sarjen Hassan said...

More wrong doings of UMNO will come out now that the people have lost the fear of reprisal. The army and the police have many secrets to hide. In the name of justice more of these people should come out and lay to the public their wrong doings at the insistence of the government of the day.

In the trial of Anwar the decline of the witnesses to be interviewed shows the fear they have under scrutiny. We should open a website for this purpose for people to come out openly but withholding their names.We may unearth and it will be good for the next election.

PaiSeh said...

Army will be army. They are bred and trained to rebuke threats the instance they smell one. Armies are not politicians but are run by politicians.
Sometimes, we need to understand their situation before we actually wants to comment about them.

Nobody is perfect, but realising this fact, we need also to self-censor our words and doings especially when one is at the higher demographic position, and law enforcing at that too.

One cannot just blurt out such "demand" when one is only answerable to the Yg.Dipertuan Agung.

Anyway, let's hope the Generals will have a clear sense of duty and not to be cowed by sewer polticians.

PaiSeh said...

Flying the Jalur Gemilang is one way to show our patriotism to the country.
Over doing it by spending hard earn monies (when the country is economic-stressed), is just too much.
By draping tall buildings with flags etc..will give a negative assumption that folks are not careful with their spendings.
Anyway, it is a not a good time to discuss this. Its our national day, and one should be proud, but let's not over do it.

As for me, I have a mini flag put outside by car porch all 365 days. I change them when it fade.
That's national patriotism for me.!

D.Y.M.M. Y.A.B. Sir Tun Tan Sri Dato' Seri Prof Dr Mahhahtheir Bhadavi Andwah Nejib Muhyihdhin ShoiLiek ShummyValue Abraham (not to be confused with Abraham Lincoln), thank you said...

If people are ORDERED to put up flags, this really means ULTIMATE disaster!!!

ULTIMATE patriotism MY A$$!!!

Anonymous said...

Patrick,

In today's STAR it was reported that the Cheras OCPD managed to "kau tim" a hostage situation because the Singh OCPD can speak hokkien you know?

So, language very important to our men in blue lor......

Camelot

Anonymous said...

First it is colonists, then the western imperialists, then the Jewish conspiracy and the Chinese bogey. What else is new than to blame the whole big wide world when the malaise confronting this country is nothing more than a successive of moronic leadership who are corrupt, incompetent, indulging in grandeur and practises third world tribal mentality. For goodness sake, the world and the non Malays don’t own you fellows a living. The Malays’ misery is your own doing more so the political power after independence is for you to determine. The non Malays are never against Malay leadership. The non Malays just want good Malay leadership. But look at what you have done, kutty? Did you not enrich and squander billions? You have to ask yourself why the Malays have split three ways in the first place. For everyone you unfairly helped to enrich and for every ringgit your squandered, you are actually marginalising and sidelining thousands (Malays and non Malays). Kutty, you may think you are very smart; you do not know your own baloney.

Anonymous said...

Recent crime involving police:

- a police lance corporal in Penang was caught for selling stolen watches in Lorong Kulit and three policemen supposed to arrest him asked the suspect to leave freely.

- two armed soldiers were robbing an illegal video game center in Sungai Buloh and cross fired with two plain-clothe policemen who were said in the scene for an operation. A robber was shot dead and another one was injured and arrested after a short escape.

Let us ask a question?

Why the police and army personnel who supposed to take care of our security are becoming criminals. They are more dangerous than normal criminals for having weapon and trained in handling firearms.

Anonymous said...

UMNO and MCA are always putting up a show. Go and tell the public not to be conned by these two swinders. Always UMNO says they will not give way like scholarships. Then MCA step in and pretend to tarik harga for sometime as if it is very difficult to get approval from UMNO. Of course in the end, these two Satans give way and the rakyat preceived them to be holy angels. Don't be coined as they have been swindling the rakayat all the time playing this game.

Anonymous said...

Patriotism!
Standing up against crimes against the citizen and country committed by people who were given the trust to run the country.

Patriotism!
Putting your life on the line for the wellbeing and betterment of your country.

Flying Malaysian flag!
That's not patriotism if you continue to plunder the country even as you salute to the flag, sing the national anthem and move your ill-gotten wealth out of the country.

WK said...

Hi Patrick,
I read this in The Star yesterday - thought it might be funny and you might like it.
http://thestar.com.my/metro/story.asp?file=/2011/8/24/north/9356373&sec=north

"Chow said all development, 250ft above sea level, would also be prohibited, but on a case-by-case basis."

Is it development above 250' only prohibited on a case to case basis?! Or perhaps it is approved on a case to case basis? But then again, what does prohibited mean?! If something is prohibited, can still be approved case by case wan meh?? Quite confusion to me la.

Rgds,
WK

Anonymous said...

to wk..good one.!!!!!!!

niamah chow hai really this bastard all! simply talk one..

Nuffnang