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Thursday, October 27, 2011

Thursday funnies

Taaaa Daaaa! And the stupid award goes to....

When I turned to Pg 2 of today's Star I burst out laughing. The story was headlined:

"PM: Indians warming up to BN".

Phwaar!!! At first I thought, "What PM giving some more goodies ah?" But no wor. Then I saw the sub-title of the story and it read:
"Attendance at MIC's Deepavali celebration reflects 'tremendous response'

No wonder Najib is having so much trouble getting his head around things if he is getting this type of analysis from his people.  There's been so much talk about MIC (along with other parties) losing relevance in today's politics and the support of the Indian community and all. So how does 'Attendance at MIC's Deepavali celebration reflect(s) 'tremendous response'??? Okay, maybe some Indians are again supporting MIC (or just getting a free meal since it's their sweat and toil that's made the Deepavali possible) but that cannot translate into "Indians warming up to BN" except in politic-speak.

On page 12 of The Star is the regular Rub Salt in the Wound story.......
MACC opens 36 cases
Commission investigates issues raised in A-G's report

As you know the A-G's annual report just came out. And as usual there are numerous reports of obvious corruption and inefficiencies in various ministries, government departments and agencies. And as Malaysians we are quite used to this annual circus side-show. Announcements are made. Audible gasps are heard from tired, frustrated Malaysian tax-payers. Then?  We wait for next year's Auditor-General Report. But today the MACC rubs salt in our wound by announcing the above. Aiyoh! Too much la.

Also on page 12 one minister at least has the balls to admit that he screwed up. The Youth & Sports Minister Ahmad Shabery Cheek admitted that the "local authorities did not have the expertise to handle horses resulting in many of them being underutilised" which in turn resulted in the RM56million spent on buying the horses becoming basically money down the drain.  Okay Shabery, it's very nice of you to admit your ministry's mistake. Now, can we also have your head on a plate, please?

On page 14 of The Star there is a really hilarious story about the Auditor-General "pointing out" a pension mistake. A misplaced decimal point resulted in some pensioner being paid RM21,433 a month instead of RM214.33! Sadly, the story did not say if the baarger returned the money la. Would you have returned it? I am sure you would. Right!

On page 16 today the headline story just made me laugh and skip the story altogether.
DPM: Learn from Singapore
M'sia keen on republic's tourism and education models

Yes, Muhyiddin we should have started learning from those baargers decades ago. About public housing, public transport, country management, finance management etc. etc. etc.  Now only want to learn from them issit? And somemore about tourism and education! I thought Ng Yen Yen was doing such a good job? Maybe we should teach them about how to make tourism displays more prominent by using RM1,500 display racks. And education? I thought you already announced that Math and Science is to be taught in BM. No argument! Those SG flers will tell you it won't work. Then how?

And finally, the award for the If-I-Don't-Know-What-The-Fuck-I'm-Saying-I-Should-Shut-The-Fuck-Up-Award goes to ex-Inspector-General Rahim Noor for his fantastically incomprehensible statement....
"Every century has its own wave and this could not be avoided. Previously, it was the wave of communism and Marxism, and now it is the human rights wave."



Anonymous said...

We should give ourselves an award for still reading the papers & for still sticking around. That is called long suffering.

Tok Rojak

Anonymous said...

Patrick back to his original state (after conceptually not relevant with the fading star ?). Keep the momentum.
Happy reading the daily.

chenowith said...

what the hell does that mean anyway? wave of communism? where? in this country? wave of human rights? where? in this country?

and wave meaning what ar? like a resurrection or something?

poor brain, confused on a friday morning :(

Anonymous said...

Dear Patrick,

Wahh! If u declare u 're offering at Damansara Village free steamboat for 1 nite ah, see how "tremendous" the response will be man!

Does it mean that the masses are "warming" up to U??!! Niamah! Sometimes a free dinner is just that; a free dinner. Hehehehe!

Finally, kudos to U for awarding that former cop fella the Shut-the-fuck-up no-prize!

He takes the cake in leading the way deeper into our collective wormhole for having the smarts to declare to all and sundry how hopelessly outdated he is in today's wired world!

Likening human rights movement to communism & marxism...SIGH!!!.....

Really lah, u're right! Should effing know when to shut the eff up!!

Another day of comedy in bolehland!

Unca Pete

Rajni said...

Curi Curi Malaysia tourism booklets cost taxi payers almost RM5 per copy (8 copies equivalent to the price of Teohlogy!) to be placed on that expensive racks. Yen Yen really 'swallow' big time, but MACC buat bodoh?

As for Indians in Bolehland, any sweetener (especially administered at Batu Caves) from Najib will see them flocking back to BN. MIC knew the trick, only need to please them before election. Similar to getting 9 second of orgasmic pleasure in exchange of 9 months of suffering.

By highligting these frivolous jokes, Niamah must be helping The Star to arrest its dwindling sales and readership?

Anonymous said...

Our beloved PM & DPM have been unusually quiet about their respective department being in the podium of overspenders, eh? Gracious silence? No further excuses needed? (I'm corrupt, so? Watcha gonna do, vote me out? Muahahaha, dumb Malaysians)

Rahim Noor is slightly off abt the new wave - it shd be wave goodbye to UMNO.

Merong Wangsa said...

Abdul Rahim Mohd Noor's speech at Perkasa assembly aims to seed and grow the fascism movement in Malaysia. The speech is endorsed by Mamakutty who is very afraid of human rights after witnessing the fate of Gaddafi.

Anonymous said...

Er, Rahim, where were you when your daughter and son-in-law Matthew Busst were eating pork and drinking happily?
Oh, I forgot. It's their basic human right to do what they want as long as it's legal.

Anonymous said...

Ever wonder why the A-G's report is the same year in year out ?

The answer is simple because nobody get punished ! The lame answer would be as follows, " We will improve, A minister will announce that his ministry has launched an investigation," blah blah blah until the cow comes home !

What about the Royal Commission Of Enquiry ? So what ? Lingam's case ? The 3 transgressors over the death of Teoh Beng Hock ? PKFZ issue ?

At the end of the day, nobody is held responsible and we are sure that next year, the A-G's report will be the same except perhaps, maybe the cover and the number of pages will be different !

Niamah !

Datuk K said...

NST headline today (Sat 29 Oct) is very laughable.

Because nobody expect MACC to take action against the corruption reported on the AG report.

yeobengh said...

Well said bro. So stupid of them to make blunders after blunders and still no stern action taken against them. Lame reason... overlook, ignorant, no evidence, etc. Cannot go on like this lah. Vote for change of govt is the only solution. If the new fellows are no good, kick them out too. Friends, give it a try, men!!

Anonymous said...

The Stupid Award for an individual goes jointly to Najib and Muhyiddin for obvious reasons. The Stupid Award for a group or ensemble goes to the MACC, again for obvious reasons.

The Awards presentation will be given on the opening day of this year's UMNO General Assembly.

Anonymous said...

Rakyat didahulukan - this is only a farce.

Govt says we listen to the people is nothing but a joke!

The survey results showed Malaysians want Maths and Science in English but, Govt does otherwise.

Adam Teoh will soon confuse with the word Air - is it water or udara?

换了才会有希望 said...




紅蜻蜓 said...



Birkin said...


Anonymous said...


ワタシ ノ ナマエワ ハキム デス、 アナタワ?

Charlie Oscar said...

Sleeping on the job?

They need kopi kaw kaw!

Anonymous said...

Patrick: For a long time we had Semi Value to make all the funniest comments in public. We laughed at Semi Value's kemaluan. Now it is Moo Hee Din's turn to be the jester. He was Agri Minister when the lembu project was approved. Now the jester is the education minister. God save the children of Bolehland.

Birkin Manis said...

Shopping in Australia with rakyat's money?