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Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Wednesday funnies

AIYOH! Can laugh until die la.

Comedy worthy of a Oxford graduate......

"Thievery in Kelantan amputation of the hand. In Kuala Lumpur jail. In Penang we’ll wait for what Caliph Lim Guan Eng has to say......Such is the reality that faces us if we let the opposition take over. The administrative system will be left in disarray, in tatters without direction"- Khairy Jamaluddin.

Then what about thievery in Putrajaya? 
And we have seen the reality of keeping Barisan Nasional in power. We've seen it for more than 50 years. Thank you.


Umno guarantees Malay rule, says Khairy

When I read that headline I almost choked on my Chinese tea! After 54 years we still don't get it, do we? There are still Malays who demand Malay rule? Only Malay rule.

Should we not be demanding GOOD, PROSPEROUS, HARMONIUS rule?

Who the fuck cares if great work in government is done by Malay, Chinese, Indian, Kadazan, Iban or migrant African! Who the fuck cares? Well, apparently Umno seems to think a lot of people do.


You think that Umno politicians are the only ones who are hilarious during this time? In a fucked-up kind of way? Well, PKR is right in there among the best. Listen to this...

"To ensure that the last Malay stronghold that is political power is not traded away by Umno we challenge Umno to amend the federal constitution to insert conditions and guarantees that the prime minister must be Malay" - Shamsul Iskandar Mat Akin, PKR Youth chief.

The "last Malay stronghold that is political power"??? 

The prime minister MUST be Malay??? 


I am sure that you, like me, have been waiting to hear what Umno Wanita chief and cabinet minister, Sharizat Abdul Jalil had threatened to say a couple of days ago. About the whole NFC/Cow Condo fiasco, right? But when she did yesterday at the Umno conference it was quite disappointing la.

All she said was " husband is involved in NFC. He does his work and I do mine I have nothing to do with it the fiasco. Why ask me to resign?" 

Ha? YB, like that osso dunno ah? Why you got no honor one ah? No integrity ah?

Then she added just a pinch of the venom that she promised by saying (and I paraphrase here ok?) ......

Eh leh! My husband do, you ask ME to resign? Then ask Wan Azizah to resign osso la! Her husband standing trial for buggery what! 

Well, YB, as a Malaysian citizen who doesn't find this really that funny I would like you to consider a friendly suggestion. If you think Wan Azizah should do the honorable thing and resign for what her husband is accused of doing and she does not, then why don't you take the lead la and show us what you're made of.

Ya! See? My husband fucks up, I resign. Her husband fucks...sorry...messes up she does not resign. Ha! See la, she cannot be trusted one. So vote for me in GE, k?

But the funniest comedy today comes from the Master......

"When they heard I was going to wind up debates they knew I would have substance in my argument. That’s why they fled they boycotted I would have torn them to pieces anything they raised I would have made them look stupid They were worried they were scared" - Nazri Aziz commenting on the Opposition walkout in Parliament yesterday during the Peaceful Assembly Bill debate (the word is used loosely of course)

Well, pardon me all over the fucking place, Yang Berhormat! If you have relevant information, this "substance" you're talking about shouldn't you also share it with us, the Rakyat? Unless the substance you were referring to is something you snort in between talking cock. 

Here are a couple more gems from the YB...

"You give notice within 10 days and the cops must respond within five days If they do not respond you can proceed with the assembly"

"We need to seek notice for non-gazetted areas For example if you want to hold an assembly outside Anwar’s house Don’t you think he has the right to say okay or not And we need that notice period to seek his permission"
(so now when Khairy decides to demonstrate in front of the U.S. Embassy the American flers can say, " thanks man. We prefer that you don't. Now fuck off!" Issit?)

Have a nice day, my fellow Malaysians.



sr2 said...

Patrick, I read your postings (& others) via Google Reader which has a default white background. Text in yellow and even green are not so visible on a white background.

I know that's your preference but you are indeed one of my favourite bloggers; so can use a darker colour ah?

Many thanx.

Anak Lembah Pantai said...

Wahai Shahrizat

Fiery speech? Got big applauds? Audience giving standing ovation? and the audience were whom? Wanita UMNO ka? Sheeshh... no wonder la. Try and repeat the same speech in front of your Lembah Pantai folks and see what kind of response you get. Now, that would have been the real response. You'll be lucky if no rotten egg come flying to your face! Those wanita delegates are already fat with money given to them for the sole purpose of applauding and making you feel good. God knows what they really think of you. With the NFC case, no one amongst those delegates with functioning brain would think positive of you, either because they think its wrong or because they wished they're the one who should get that 250 smackeroos. Go ahead, continue to live in your little fantasy world. Enjoy the applauds while you can. Btw, your cheap shot at Zuraidah and Kak Wan really shows what kind of rotten person you are, with NFC or not. Period.

Anonymous said...

Err Patrick,

Has Shahrizat forgotten that she is a Minister. And calls was for her resignation as Minister and not as Head of Wanita UMNO. Is Wan Azizah a Minister?

These UMNO fellers....Forever confused.


Anonymous said...

Right on Patrick. What a bunch of nincompoops!

Anonymous said...

Dear Patrick,

I'm tearing up just reading your drawer stuff this!

Morons Rule in M'sia!! Sorry, I think I've just insulted morons; at least morons have a certain sense of shame but our peculiar breed of morons are barefaced, lying, shameless creatures.

Sigh!! The call for 1-Whatever crap rings soooo.. hollow that one wonders how these creeps sleep at night.

And a good day to you too, Patrick.

Unca Pete

Anonymous said...


To summarise, UMNO stands for United Mental Nutcases Organization.

Anonymous said...

This is Episode 11 of Rosy Business. Read it and understand what UMNO wants of our country - bankrupt the country is ok to them as long as they are running the country

Fung Yee stopped smiling and playing dumb and said "Since you have put it that way, fine. Every mother wants the best for their children, I just want Bit Man to inherit what is rightfully his" and Bo Kei walked right up to her and said "Do you really think he has the capabilities to run Hing Fung Nin? Do you honestly think he can?" and Fung Yee loudly said "Does it even matter? Even if Bit Man were to throw away the entire fortune, he is at least the rightful heir! It is his right to the fortune, he can damn well inherit it and do whatever he wants!"

Anonymous said...

We can expect lots of laughter courtesy of Umno AGM.

Shahrizat dares to open her bloody big mouth. Already syphon off RM250 million and she talk big, challenging others to resign. It is her personal problem that she has to challenge. Out of shame, or don't know what shame is all about, she tried to instigate Wanita Umno into the picture.

These Umno Wanita don't wake up and understand that the rakyat's money is taken by her and family.

If Wanita Umno with herd mentality can support such corrupted leader, let it be known that Wanita Umno is equally corrupted as well for condoning such corruption !

Gen Half Track said...

Hi Patrick,
Take it easy man, I nearly died from laughing, but then what a way to go.Great stuff keep it coming die die lah!h

monsterball said...

When Pat is hoping mad...his foul language is worst than mine.
Another masterpiece for his "Teohlogy 2".... book.
Those UMNO b idiots have nothing to fuck fuck fuck DAP as much as they can....for DAP have taken away so many UMNO b Muslin votes.

Anonymous said...

what happen to the Clown ?

Damn shiok to hear and see when he speak ..perfect moron . man..!

Niamah !

nstman said...

Thank you for summing up the idiocy and stupidity of Umno. Tiunimakahsifat baruas have decided they do not want chinese or indian votes. We will grant them the wish.

ordinary malaysian said...

@Patrick, today you have out-performed yourself. But don't be too proud okay. It is those Oxfarts and Wise Bees(YBs)that have made your day.

Anonymous said...


Tiger said...

Er, so what UMNO?
Even DAP guarantees Malay rule, and I have no issues with that, because people like K Johari and Tunku Aziz have so much more integrity than any BN rep.

Anonymous said...

enough is enough for all these hell raisers..let them talk kok now,we will send them to hell in GE13.

Anak Mami Junior said...

Uncle Patrick
I think when MCA drops The Star, the new owner will appoint you to replace Wong Ah Wai. The Star recognizes you with THE AWARD as Voice Of Msia yet still don't appoint u ? Betul betul celup punya Star now. Wait for new owner ok ?

by the way,not sure if your restaurant serve beef steak sourced from CowGate some said the meat as tender as condo grass.

All the best UNCLE. cheers !

Anonymous said...

Aaaahh, the eagerly awaited Clown Festival! All members are more angelic than angels, cleaner than a hospital operating theater. Even Clown Prince Nazri got substance! (or did he actually mean substandard? lu tau lah, diorang punya Engrand tak best sangat, kalau Engrand best bermaksud dia tak patriotik).

Cow-abanga, Menteri Kelembuan!

Joshua Lopez said...

Shahrizat has disappointed me a lot because i have been a fan of hers because i've found her to be one of the very few proper politicians in UMNO.

Seems to me that her husband is like the husband of Benazir Bhutto who fucked up everything and left her with so much problems!

enq.cts said...


Anonymous said...

When will the MCA master liar stop feeding the public with half truth about susu K1RM?

This bastard has the audacity to challenge YB Pua for the truth.

Let not spare this SOB this time...roast his two b*lls well and good!

Anonymous said... all fucking pendatang ..if you are not happy .."KELAUAR DARI MALAYSIA !!!!!

sounds familiar..??

Shut the fuck up..I know I do!

Cina- kui and my neighbor Si botol.

Anonymous said...



Anonymous said...

is jakim going to ban Teohlogy the book?

Anonymous said...

Hi Patrick, I once read you said when you were in Sarawak, you felt like you were in another country. Indeed you were. We once were a country - a rich one, too - who, the heck, hacked us into a "state" of poverty! Sarawak and Sabah have been conned - their 18/20-point agreements are not honoured for the last close to 50 years. We now demand that KL honour those agreements, or we demand OUT! Please help to circulate the SSKM petition, so that fair-minded Malaysians can lend support to this cause by dropping their signatures and comments as a sign of support. BTW, 300 000 signatures needed. Thanks!

Calling all Malaysians, esp. S'wakians and Sabahans.......
Go to this link, sign and support: