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Sunday, January 15, 2012

Sunday funnies

Funny #1

I read in the Sunday papers today that the Sultan of Kelantan has been awarded the Darjah Kerabat Kedah by His Royal Highness the Sultan of Kedah.

Errr....why ah? For what ah? Is the Darjah Kerabat Kedah one of those awards that the royals give to each other just for fun?

Funny #2

First Penang Chief Minister, Lim Guan Eng announces that his people have declared their assets. So as to keep everything transparent and whatnot la.  And now today we read that the Chief Justice has announced that soon all judges will also declare their assets to ensure judicial integrity. Okay...but somehow as a Malaysian I am not really so impressed la. Declare la. But I am waiting for people like the Prime Minister, Deputy Prime Minister, that kind of level, to declare their assets for all to see. That would really be a red letter day in our history.  I think when that day comes we shall all be convinced that all our politicians' wive, children, relatives etc. are ultra-smart entrepreneurs and are all capable of making billions in profits from their business ventures. What you think? Anyway, like one of the comment-ers said, "You think what? We never heard of proxies ah? Niamah!!!"

Funny #3

The prime minister has announced that he has ordered the DPM and the minister of agriculture to find the best solution for the National Feedlot Centre. Best solution for the NFC? I thought we were more interested in finding out where the RM250millions have gone. No ah? Solution for what? The business has failed. Big time. And now there is suspicion that its failure might have been due to corruption. Come on guys! PRIORITISE LA, OI!

Funny #4

I came across a tweet from Nurul Izzah today which said that she was somewhere handing out Chinese New Year hampers. And of course over the past week there have been so many stories about politicians handing out goodies all over the country. Some ang pows here, some hampers there and some grants at the other place.

Does this sort of thing happen in other countries? Or is it just our Malaysian way of doing things? And if politicians and governments hand out goodies in the run up to elections doesn't that tell the electorate something suspicious about these politicians and governments?

Same rule, I suppose, applies to visits to your hometown by people like the prime minister. Today I read that Najib went on a walkabout, did some exercise routine and had breakfast with the people of Taiping. Phwaaaar!!!



shanghai fish said...

Kaneeneh... Jibby's not even from my Taiping lah bro. There Taipingites rather watch the hills for rain clouds to gather and place bets then entertain crooks. Ask that KV..ass fler lah. Almost on his knees begging for votes in Taiping when one coffeeshop owner asked him to get out of his shop saying he's bad luck to his business. No shame lah these BN crooks. Niamah !

Anonymous said...

Phwaaaaar is right. Our PM just recently had lunch with some of the country's Christian group representatives and after the photo session and before they could voice their whatever and finish lunch they were "chased" out and sent off. And do we still want to give chance to people like that? UMNO think they are God/Allah now. They are no longer sentitive to people's feelings anymore (or have they ever?). We should give other people a chance. We don't want murderers and porn star to be our leaders anymore.

johnnie lim said...

funnies # 3 . solution how to cover the losses and their involvement in this business la what else?

Anonymous said...


What would you do if every single Sultan and the Yang di-Pertuas of Penang and Malacca were to award you a Datukship each. Waw-low-yeh, we will have to call you Datuk Dato Datuk Dato Datuk Dato Datuk Dato Datuk Dato Patrick Teoh. Now that's a real blardy load of titles for any commoner unless you are a minister in Najib's cabinet.

Now onto the PM and his merry men in his cabinet declaring their true assets. It is easier to wish for you getting all your 10 Datuk/Dato titles than for any single minister to declare his truthful assets.

ordinary malaysian said...

The NFC thing is real funny one lah! Find the best way out for alleged corruption?

Anonymous said...

If only Jibby will have b'fast with me! Will tell him that I just obtained the status "retiree", need to seek for a job to sustain my living.As a single parent, life is pretty tough and here they are, stealing from the tax payers!!!

Ramlee Burger said...

The NFC issue should have been a straight forward case have it been awarded to people who knows how to run "cattle business" thus the criteria of awarding is at question and due to the back room workings between this two cabinet minister leads to the delays in firm action taken.

All this delays would eventually allows loop holes to be covered up and the final findings indicate all is above board. Public can smell a rat when they see one. In view that Shahrizat see's its not her wrong doings on her part as it's her birth right to be in a appointed government post and the PM letting matters to be dealt by his deputy in directly asking them to sort it out before things get any worst is one un-decisive move on his part.

If this is not put to end, we the RAKYAT will when its comes to the ballot.

Tiger said...

My question is,
where is the RM50 million allocation you promised for Taiping in the Budget?

No Cow said...

Patrick, wah you really have balls, commenting on the royalty. If loud mouth see your comment, you will get national attention and you get charged with insulting royalty. Don't play play. And talking about hampers, I don't know why none of the politicians of any side come to visit me to give me hampers. Maybe I don't live in the right place.

Anonymous said...

straight right on the Dot.


Happy Water Dragon year,may all water keep flowing (cash) to all of us. 2nd class citizen.Niamah UMNO.

Mizz Azalina said...

Is Sharizat now escaping the heat to be in her Spore condo?

Her family's credit card bills are fully paid for by NFC.

Truly Niamah!

Anonymous said...

i got simple solution how to call the YBs with so much datukship title... if got more than 3 datuks title, lets call it Datuk Infinities Patrick Teoh.. hows bot tat? hahaha... for the NFC scandal, i bet his Jebat Must Die pro-umno blogger have no idea what to write.. niamah.. Kong Xi to u uncle patrick.

Anonymous said...

Declaring of assets by ministers etc is all bullshit. I have known of people transferring practically all assets to their wife or wives and then only declare the assets that they could afford from their salary.

Anonymous said...

Funnies 1# Aya! Uncle why you jealous ar! You should know we Malaysian like many, many titles; as it pays to collect titles than wisdom le.

Funnies 2# Aya! Majority of the Malaysian folks dunno about proxy wan ... if Malaysian folks had enough wisdom, the country would not be in the mess we are now in le.

Funnies 3# Third world country, third class mentality la. It is sad we have leaders with weak thought process or wisdom.

Anonymous said...


Mahathir says Saiful has the "RIGHT" to appeal Anwar's acquittal. Imagine that fella was our PM and does not even acknowledge that the proseuction was brought by the AG. As such only the AG can appeal. What is Saiful going to say if he appeals? That he wasted the KY jelly when he "prepared" himself (his words in court)to be poked in the rear?

Peter Tan said...

What so funny about the PM doing a walkabout or exercise routine?

I read today that he went to see that 'Ah Beng' movie also. Now, that's funny....

Ah Choy said...

The chinese community prayed to 'Natuk kong' in the shrines built for certain deceased malays.

With MCA's help, now the chinese can pray to 'Ah Jib Gor' using online Facebook?

Truly Niamah!

Anonymous said...

I have said it before and I am repeating now! Dato is a title imported from China when Admiral Cheng Ho came to Malacca! It was a title given to EUNUCHS of the royal courts (gong-gong in Chinese which literally translates into Dato). So I don't see the grandness of being conferred a Dato' but instead its conferment would not just same the recipient but also his ancestors!

Ah Mah Sow said...

People like Ceylyn and Riduan Tee indicate that Malaysia too has its pathetic and pitiable ‘Uncle Toms’. The USA, the most economically and technologically advanced country in the world has shown that while it previously had an ‘Uncle Tom’, it now has advanced and has an ‘Obama’. Hopefully as Malaysia matures as a nation and the people become less racist, Malaysia too will have its Obama. To take the first step in this progressive direction Malaysians have to get rid of the racist BN, which unashamedly and deliberately tries to brain wash its public servants with its evil supremacist and racist ideology through an organisation in Najib’s department called BTN.

Meanwhile Najib tries to fool the people with his hypocritical 1Malaysia slogans and AhJibGor persona to try and give the false impression that BN does not practice racism and treats all its citizens fairly. At the next elections Malaysians have to vote for PR and get rid of BN and its supremacist and racist policies.

Anonymous said...

Thanks to MCA’s consultant, Najib now has a Facebook alter-ego ‘Ah Gib Gor’ with the aim of winning over young Chinese. This is just another instalment of the cool image he is trying to cultivate.

Najib ignores the reality in Umno-governed Malaysia. He is wooing the Chinese but his party members still question the loyalty and patriotism of Malaysian Chinese. The PM’s newsletter, Utusan Malaysia, castigates and treats Malaysian Chinese as second-class citizens. Umno’s favourite subsidiary, Perkasa, threatens Chinese every now and then and labels Chinese as ungrateful. And Najib stays silent.

So the Chinese should never believe in such public relations moves. They should embrace teh ABU movement instead.

1Dragon said...

Ah Jib Gor asked you all to sing nice songs for him to hear lah.

Go sing Gong Xi Gong Xi Ni to Ah Jib Gor and the 1queen Rosima lah. This is called 1tuan, 1boss, 1suara.

GXFC to all.

Anonymous said...

dong3 ciang, dong3 ciang , dong3 ciang dong ciang dong ciang ! (X10)

ajip koko ,,,,oops...pat gor, happy CNY !

Anonymous said...

Please try this new mobile game on Apple’s official website, dubbed “Aku Jimat” that has started attracting the interest of Malaysians as the main character appears similar to Rosmah Mansor, wife of Prime Minister Najib Tun Razak.

Created by Antartic Group, the mobile game which could be downloaded from the website was launched last December.

The game specially designed for children aims to educate players on the importance of saving since childhood and features the main character which has a similar hair-do as Rosmah.

The game can be downloaded at

Anonymous said...

Rosmah will never sue the Australian Press because the court will be Australian Court! Not Malaysian court, where judgement is copied, lawyer writes for judges and even Chief Justice have to pay bribes! UMNO or BN have no power. Once Mahathir claim that he was bribed by a British Businessman but he never sue the bussinessman though he had the proof. Please dont throw stone from a glass house !

Anonymous said...

Listen to the old lady saying " good people will receive good blessings " may be not on Earth but in the afterlife. Whatever that is given is never free. It may not be in terms of money but in terms of human favours and obligations and all that. Therefore, why owe ? Do your best. Give your best. You will reap what you sow. The jet set lifestyle which they live tell us that they are real rich. Premium airlines. First class hotel. All expenses paid by the government. Meaning the rakyat. For an ordinary businessman, how many times do you need to travel ? What kind of hotel do you stay in ? Close monitoring of expenditure. What is happening is like hardly anyone question the way they manage the nation's money. In other countries, they do not use hampers, angpows, carrots. They only need your account and all you need to do is to check your account.

Joshua Lopez said...

It wasn't DK of Kedah to Sultan Of Kedah. It was Federal DK to The Queen. Did you misread?

Anonymous said...

if Anwar and Pakatan wins GE-13, and Najib and UMNO try to spark civil unrest by using paramilitary volunteer group RELA to start an uprising – which they will then promptly blame on DAP, PAS and PKR – it will only boost the case for international intervention against mass arrests and even possible assassination of Pakatan Rakyat leaders and their supporters.

“When the chips are down, RELA will be with this government to defend the country. Do not cause havoc in this country because the 2.8 million Rela members will not stand idly by and watch the country descend into chaos,” Malaysian Insider reported Najib as saying on Saturday.

His words were a far cry from those he spouted at the Global Movement of Moderates barely two weeks ago, where he called for world peace and harmony. If this is not a Jekyll and Hyde syndrome Najib is suffering from, then it is obvious he is as his critics accuse him of being – a pathological liar!

Yes, with BN in power, Malaysia is never far away from Zimbabwe, which by the way is run by a ‘soul brother’ of Mahathir Mohamad’s – Robert Mugabe.

Anonymous said...

So soon after the much highlight sharizat is coming back to work?? Niamah

Anonymous said...

I think PR can forget about harbouring any thoughts of going to Putrajaya. 2.8 mil Rela members ! Thats 2.8 mil postal votes into BN's vote bank. Top that with the Army and Police votes, foreigners given MyKads, electoral roll tainted, civil servants under black mail to vote BN, EC under UMNO's payroll, entire govt machinery, main stream media propoganda, election goodies being rolled out, Indian voters swinging back to BN, money politics, Sabah and Sarawak still strong BN fort...the list seems heavily in favour of BN to return with a 2/3 majority win !

monsterball said...

Asking Mahathir and Najib to declare their like asking thieves who stole billions to declare where they have hidden the loots.

Anonymous said...

For ordinary rakyat, if we want to buy a house we take housing loan; and we want to buy a car we take car loan... but for UMNO politician's family, they were given "cow loan" from which they can buy upmarket properties - housing lots in Putrajaya and luxury apartments, luxury car, go on luxurious holidays, and pay themselve luxurious salaries. No wonder they are fighting for positions in UMNO. It really reminds me of George Orwell's Animal Farm...