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Saturday, January 14, 2012

Titles anyone?

Want to probe issit? You big enough you come la!

It's Saturday and for want of something better to do I thought I'd look for something funny to post here for your weekend entertainment. Found some good ones too. Enjoy!

Funny #1

Did anyone read the front page of The Sun yesterday? On the right hand column the story was titled:

Sharizat takes leave to let MACC probe.

Hahahaha...I had a good laugh when I read that headline. But I think we're taking this love for sex scandals a little bit far already. No ah? :-)  Takes leave to let MACC probe. MACC got big enough...errr...balls or not?

p/s strangely the same story in the online version of The Sun does not carry this headline. I wonder why? Funny what.


It always bemuses me to read about Malaysian royals bestowing awards on their own family or relatives. Like a sultan giving an award to his teenage son. Or some ruler giving a Datuk Sri award to his cousin/sister/uncle/ or to another ruler. Royal or otherwise. What are all these titles and awards for?  I am sure that as a Malaysian you have often asked the questions, "Why?" Or if you're really pissed about it, "WAFFOR?"  Like can you tell me why one sultan bestows another sultan with an award? The baarger already has all those letters of the alphabet behind his name. 6 or 10 more is going to make his name and title take up almost half the page of the official letterhead.

If you're like me you would probably let out a curse whenever you read those congratulatory advertisements in the newspapers taken out for the latest Datuk Sri or Tan Sri or whatever. It would not be so bad if we, the ordinary tax-paying slobs, get to know what these fuckers are being awarded for.  Okay...the fler is a world sports champion. Great. That baarger performed this distinctive service for his community. Wonderful. This latest dato saved a village from the verge of starvation. Or something la. But do we ever get information like that? No! All we read about are these multi-millionaires, contractors, CEOs of MNC's getting awards from this Sultan and that Yang DiPertua etc.  Doesn't it piss you off? Come on! And when you read about beer company directors getting datukships, and car marketing company CEO's getting titles from royalty your mind starts to make up its own mind about corruption and things that aren't so royally kosher. Doesn't it? So can we, as ordinary members of the rakyat ask a favour or our royalty and heads of state? When you give out awards to these people can you also spend some time and money on some press statements to tell us what they are being rewarded for? May not even cost you money. Just spread the word online la because as much as Ng Yen Yen might not agree it actually will cost you nothing. It will make us happier to wake up in the morning and discover that we have another couple of dozen dato's and what-nots in our lob-sided sociey. Can Tuanku?  Thank you.


Set to become condom king screamed the page 3 headline in The Star today.

Yes Malaysia is set to enter the record books as being the world's biggest manufacturer of condoms. JAIS? JAKIM? How? Can ah?

Have a good weekend.



JG said...

Uncle Pat very faaarneeeee... hahaha... have a good weekend........

Anonymous said...


I hope MACC probes deep "into" Sharizat's "assets". Imagine her husband standing by defenseless while the MACC probe Sharizat here, there and everywhere. I guess MACC's officers prefer to probe Sharizat's "assets" than her husband, eh?

Anonymous said...

Man!!! The guys at MACC may be sloppy with their work, maybe careless in not locking up some windows ... but do they have to be punished with this probe ... she's really ugly ... it's against human rights ...

Anonymous said...

I think 60% of the rakyat should start using those condoms. The population is getting to lobsided.

zeus said...

think JAKIM them should be happy with the news that we have achieved the title of condom king nation, they should promote the using of condom in order to reduce the case of abandoned babies。

Anonymous said...

hahaha, very 'poke-eye' funnies, TQ !

Anonymous said...

hassan died more news one..

Tiup Wisel said...

Sharizat rehat di kondo Singapura?

Jibby needs another scapegoat, as Si Toyol is not big enough. So Shahrizat is doomed this time.

Wonder who will be the 3rd person?

Amekaw said...

JAKIM must certify the kondom first!

Anonymous said...

Bersihkan Malaysia:

Anonymous said...

Dear Patrick,
After reading your Three Funnies, my brain went fuzzy and my imagination ran wild with this thought....

More Datuks/Tan Sris need more Condoms to do more Probes.

This is going to be the new trend in Malay-sia-l.


Anonymous said...

Fuck Dr.Mamak a day keep the country good very day !!!!!

by the way ..what the fuck is this indian mamak commenting about good govern en? ..ex cultural minister or something ..once declared he is a also a bumi...malay ..

Cina babi.

Anonymous said...

toyol face i think Exocet missile also cannot penetrate ..maybe need saifool only can...(ass of course)

Gengis Khan said...

Hi Patrick,
You know this award nonsense has got into the army
You remember the incident in Sauk at Bt Jenalik. The
security forces had two of the members killed by the
Al-Mauna.Not a shot was fired by the security forces
the AL- Mauna surrended. And guess what a three star general who charged up the hill in an amoured vehicle((APC) to gather with four other APCs laden with commandos to secure the surrender was awards the SP the highest award for bravery with monthly payment of RM
2.000/ another police officer was also awarded a SP. and three others SF personnel were awarded PGB the second
highest award for bravery (RM 1.500/) two for getting the them selves killed and one for getting himself captured. This are how awards are given out these days.

Anonymous said...

Don't be jealous, lah! You too can have a title. I hereby award you the title of "Mandarin 4th Class". It is not first class but you have only made me laugh...not too difficult to do in Malaysia.Also the New Year is coming.Go to your tailor and have the robes made in time. Order today,ok?

If you help out in the elections,I will give you "Mandarin 2nd Class". Your future will then be so rosy,mah?

megaman said...

Biggest condom maker is a VERY GOOD news ... :)

At least we doing something good for both the world and our own people.

Biggest condom makers => Bigger profit for rubber tappers and more employment opportunities

We also helping to reduce HIV/AIDS infections.

Very good news, as for JAIS/JAKIM. Aiyah, they are irrelevant people trying to look important

Anonymous said...

MACC says,

All of you's here should be "probed" for making fun of a serious investigation! Shame on yous! Now where is that condom of mine...sigh...!!!

At this rate, there should be a whole lot of probin' goin' on, mama!

Patrick..youse ROCK!!

Unca Pete

Anonymous said...

We should have known that NFC is going to screw up big time as :

NFC = National Fuckup Corporation

Anonymous said...

MACC = mana ada cakap cock

monsterball said...

World greats fuckers need lots of condoms..otherwise many bastard children born.
If we are world best will see the biggest and he best casino here.
World biggest supplier of condoms...nothing to be so proud about.

Anonymous said...

Wah!How come you Ipoh mari SO JEALOUS one ??? Just because you did not get any Datukship title DO NOT SLAM any and everybodylah? In fact, you have made a very good living for yourself to date. Two steamboat restaurants, an organic chicken farm, cake making, teohlogy book , actor ,living in a condo some more, STILL NOT ENOUGH meh? You are the REAL JOKER! NIAMAH!!!

Anonymous said...

NFC pays Government 2% interest per year for the $250M loan. If I get $250M & keep Fix deposit in Bank paying 3% per year and pay back interest to government, I still have 1% for doing nothing. That is $2,500,000 every year! Very good deal.

Anonymous said...

she starts suing to get moneys for family in case they HAVE to go to jail !

Anonymous said... (BERSIH MALAYSIA)
Dear Devotees into the Dhamma,
I sincerely shall use the language to make publicly the bitter experience that actually has happened in the SAMNAK SAMBODHI BUDDHIST ASSOCIATION NO: 19-21 JALAN 38 TAMAN DESA JAYA KEPONG 52100 KUALA LUMPUR, MALAYSIA.
I am not satisfied with the Gombak MCA Division chairman (Yip Kum Fook) and the SAMNAK SAMBODHI BUDDHIST ASSOCIATION chairman (Yip Kum Fook) because he used vicious and arrogant means in bringing in a group of individuals from other places to provoke and trample the sacred ground and without any sound reason called in the police to forcefully detain the monk so as to humiliate worshippers of Buddhism.
I strongly would like to ask here that what great sin and crimes had he committed to the extent of you Yip Kum Fook lawyer by means or by crooks called in the police to detain a monk like him?
I came from Penang, I was a newcomer and I temporarily put up at the SAMNAK SAMBODHI BUDDHIST ASSOCIATION to study and learn to practice Buddhism. While at the temple, I could not bear with the way Yip Kum Fook lawyer behaved, your uncourteous, arrogant and unexcelled attitude in treating the Temple abbot.
Because I said a few words about your behavior to you Yip Kum Fook, you resorted to such dirty means to hurt a monk. It is indeed unacceptable and cast a very bad example.
For a school principal, if his and her student has committed an offence, the police must as a matter of courtesy meet up with the principal, try to understand the actual situation, before the police take any actions. This is the usual practice.
But it is sorry to say, that Yip kum Fook lawyer who himself is a lawyer chose to have done. Otherwise, he did not act in accordance with the teaching of Buddhism and looked down on the spirit of Buddhism for the sole purpose of showing off that he is the powerful chairman of MCA Gombak Division and the chairman of the SAMNAK SAMBODHI BUDDHIST ASSOCIATION. He demanded the police to detain the monk so as to realize his motive.
It is very fortunate that due to the fact that religion itself is a sensitive matter, even the Malay policemen understood and respected the religion, culture and customs of other communities, so they did not rush into taking any actions. Otherwise, the consequences would be catastrophic.
I understand why Yip Kum Fook lawyer was furious and flared up. The main reason is as follows. The abbot of the SAMNAK SAMBODHI BUDDHIST ASSOCIATION. He has been the abbot for 20 years. He was the architect and played the pivotal in raising fund the public to build up the Temple.
Continued next………

Anonymous said...

The abbot was alarmed to find out that a new person like him Yip Kum Fook lawyer; the chairman of MCA Gombak Division did not walk the talks. His talks were beautiful decorated with humanity, virtue and morality.
But in practice, he always marginalized and pushed out those who did see eye to eye with him. The Temple committees were instead made up mostly of his relatives. Moreover, the Temple fund was not managed in a transparent manner. Ultimately, his true motive was to turn the pure and sacred ground into a political stepping stone and political ground and from a place of worship into a personal property.
The abbot was well aware of what had taken placed, but in order to look preserve the whole wellness of the temple, he gave him Yip Kum Fook lawyer well-intentioned advices. But such an advice was not well received, it made Yip Kum Fook lawyer unhappy, restless and ran wild. Instead of heeding the advice, he made use of every opportunity to create problem and to persecute the abbot and monks so that they could no longer stay and left the temple.
Yip Kum Fook lawyer and the chairman of MCA Gombak Division whose villain’s design is obvious and whose style is hypocritical is known by everyone… your sweet words can deceive and mislead some people some of the time, but you cannot do it all the time. The karma or preordained fate of Buddhism will definitely befall.
As my last word, I would like to take this opportunity to bless him, may Yip Kum Fook lawyer wake up to reality, repent before it is too late. Do whatever is good, shed the evil.
Your Dhamma,
Ven. Phra Piya Dhamma
Penang, Malaysia.

We translated Chinese to English (why!) because we are want to give all people know and understand about more detail information, also to give people learn of this matter(HISTORY), this not for attacked individual DATUK YIP KUM FOOK, pls click here to see:-