Smart people kiss as....errr....hands.
It's the start of a new week and a new series of funnies from the MSM dailies. Mainly The Star because it is the only MSM newspaper that I buy as my source of comedy material. My maid also insists that it is the best value for money. She uses old issues for fish and vegetable wrap and The Star has the most pages of any newspaper in town.
Okay, okay...before we start with the Monday funnies I want to share a comment that I received from a Niamah!!! reader this morning. Now, we have all heard stories about our infamous cronyism scandals. The Opposition regularly come out with their expose's. The Barisan Nasional come up with equally credible (?) denials. Etc. etc. etc... but this commenter wraps it up rather nicely I think. He said...
Hishamuddin is Najib's cousin, KJ is Abdullah Badawi's son in law, Mukhriz is Mahathir's son, NFC is Sharizat's family business, Chua Tee Yong (Labis MP) is Chua VCD's son, Mokhzani (Kenchana / SIC Chairman etc) is Mahathir's son, Nasir Razak (Group Managing Director/CEO CIMB) is Najib's brother, S. Vell Paari is our Mr Samy's son... this is cronysim!!!
Well, it could be cronyism. It could be coincidence. Or it could just be that our political leaders all have very, very talented, entrepreneurial children and relatives.
Okay, now the Monday funnies....
On page N10 of The Star today there is a story headlined "Police force aims high". When I read that I thought straightaway that maybe that's why the police flers always miss the target lor. Aim high ma. So miss the bullseye la.
Sorry, that was just me trying to be funny. Unsuccessfully, my wife tells me.
(the same story online is headlined "Home safety goes to the next level with vertical policing" which is not much better and equally ambiguous.)
The next funny is not a piece of news but an advertisement that appeared on page N16 of The Star today. The headline read......
"My auntie got robbed and so was my neighbor. How can we all feel safer?"
My auntie got robbed and so WAS my neighbor? What the hell kind of Engrand is that? Which moronic organisation approved that advertisement?
When I looked further down the ad page I discovered that it was an ad by RTM for one of their TV programmes. Then it all became clear. RTM ma. They haven't used English for years.
The Monday Foot In Mouth award must surely go to the MCA prez, Chua Soi Lek. when he told the people,
"Ask yourself this - have lives been better in states with greater DAP representation since 2008?"
I wonder what answer he expected to hear? Especially speaking in Taiping. So close to Penang. Hahahahaha...sometimes I kill myself. Sorry ah.
Poor Wee Ka Siong (in case you donch know the fler is deputy minister of education.) His boss makes statements about resolving Chinese teacher shortage and he gets to deal with the shit and get a punch in the face in the process. Wee was heckled and jeered by a 7,000 crowd who had gathered to protest the shortage of Chinese vernacular school teachers. An age old problem. But it was what was reported that Wee said that is so funny.
There is a shortage of Chinese vernacular school teachers so "that is why the Cabinet had formed a committee. I will continue to listen because it is my duty to listen to the community," said Wee.
The problem has been there for 40 years. I wonder now many committees have been formed and how much more listening needs to be done? Funny right? But the funniest bit about this incident comes from the online version of the Star. The Wee fler had been jeered and boo'd at the fucntion and in the online version of the Star the story was titled, "Wee: I will resign now if it can solve Mandarin teacher issue." What the fuck???!!! What is this? A school yard fight ah? Mr. Wee, I think you got it a bit wrong la. You and the rest of your flers should all resign because after 40 years you still CAN'T solve shit!!!
The final Monday funny is courtesy of our prime minister, Najib Razak. In page 2 of The Sun today Najib was reported as saying to some Malaysians in Hulu Langat, "I should be in Sepang to watch the F1 race but Hamilton can wait, Schumacher can wait, the people of Hulu Langat are more important and should be given priority."
PHWAAR!!! Damn good, right? Except that Najib, like so many politicians just does know how to quit while he is ahead. The prime minister continued that statement by revealing that "Furthermore, Hamilton cannot vote but all of you can vote." Ahhhh soooo...Thank you, Mr. Prime Minister for giving us priority over those F1 flers. We are so grateful.