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Friday, May 11, 2012

Friday funnies

 Malaysia is very safe. Millions of Indonesians can't be wrong.

This weekend is turning out to be a really hilarious one. So many laughs in the media that it makes the PJLA's Laugh Fest look like a wake. Personally, I am having a tough time deciding which story takes the top spot as the most ridiculously Funny of the week. You judge for yourself. The front-runners are these first two...

Funny #1

The Malaysian Insider headline:-

Rais denies Malaysia unsafe, says millions of Indonesians happy.

Okay la. It turns out that Rais was defending our country when Indonesian human rights activists had alleged that Malaysia is the "most unsafe" destination for their migrant workers. He even tweeted this...
"Malaysia not safe say Irene Fernandez n some Indonesian NGOs but millions are here happy n thousands still coming"

Damn funny right? Especially in the light of what's been happening lately. The abduction of the Nayati boy. The alleged police brutality during Bersih 3.0 and the rising feeling among many Malaysians that they do not feel so safe.  But Rais great insights have to battle with another story for the spot of Best Funny of the Week.

Funny #2

Former IGP to head Bersih 3.0 independent panel

It was reported by The Malaysian Insider on Wednesday that former Inspector-General of Police, Hanif Omar had been appointed chairman of an INDEPENDENT panel to investigate allegations of police violence against journalists and other participants of last month’s Bersih 3.0 rally. Of course, it is common knowledge that this "independent" chairman of the panel had earlier disclosed that he thinks Communist elements had infiltrated Bersih 3.0 And that the Bersih 3.0 rally's aim was to topple the government. But there is more. As if in an effort to clinch the award of Niamah!!! funny man of the week title, Hanif also later said he will be fair and impartial in heading Putrajaya’s independent panel.

Damn funny, right?

And then there are some contenders bringing up the rear end of this week's race for the top Funny la.

Funny #3

Najib: Selangor's success by BN, not Pakatan

Our prime minister said that all the success that the Selangor state government has been so proudly trumpeting is the result of Barisan Nasional's work in the past. "How can so much success take place in the short time the state has been ruled by Pakatan. Tak boleh! We did all the work and now they take the credit pula. Tak baik." Or something to that effect la.

But if Selangor under BN was so good then why did the people vote BN out? Selangor has been ruled by BN for so many years so the people should be very happy with all the success the prime minister is talking about, right? Okay, sir. I will be waiting to hear, sooner or later, someone telling us Selangor flers to be patient and give BN a chance and that sort of stuff. Ho-hum!

Funny #4

Umno vice-president Datuk Seri Dr Ahmad Zahid Hamidi said religion should not be made a tool to ensure the people would continue to support the leadership of a political party.

Huh???!!! An Umno vice-president and Barisan Nasional cabinet minister telling us that? Don't know about you but I am feeling great pain in my balls la.



Francis Pereira said...

You want another dead serious funny - here it is from Peoples Parliament on Najibs Vasaki jaunt at Dataran-


May 7, 2012

From time immemorial the SIkhs have been rumoured (unfairly it seems) for their tendency towards what Anwar is accused of. No offence to the Sikhs, who I consider to be my brothers in humanity, but dare I hope that this evening one of you at least will do the nation a favour and do to Jibby what he fully deserves?

Anonymous said...

Finally. Very geram with you lar. Suka suka go missing. Dontlah like that. I must read your blog every morning before I can start work you know. Nevertheless. My vote goes to Hamidi, so full of comedy. Intelligence par excellence that man. Did you cringe when you read what he said? I cried because I fear that Bodohland will be infested with more Hamidis in the future. God, pls help Bodohland and all her right thinking citizen.

Anonymous said...

YOU mean to ask jibgor to line up in front of a singh !!??

Anonymous said...

dr cd : " very susah for my deputy to handle the Chinese school issues becos those lanjau (bird-men) officers are NOT cooperative lah !!"
(in sinchew)

Anonymous said...


I laughed so hard that I swear I heard my balls jingling. But I laughed the hardest (and my balls ached the most too) when I read Rais assertion that many thousands more Indonesians are coming.

Anonymous said...

you missed out teng chang yeow saying gerakan will manage umno

monsterball said...

Najib must ask permission from Rosmah before doing an Anwar.
Rosmah is a loving and understanding wife...very rare ..very difficult to get COMPACT!!.
Can be mild and meek and suddenly...turn killer..if any females dares to try to be funny with her loving hubby.
But right now...Najib have bloated up.
His prick shrunk to so small and his big stomach will forever block him from seeing his tool...same same like little becoming a baby Samy.
He cannot do an Anwar at all.
His main concern now is not sex.
It is how to avoid lock up in a jail cell.
A man with so much stress and not important.
How to protect the millions stolen is most important.

cin2tan said...

cant sex ah ...xes lah then !!

Anonymous said...

Many thousand Indonesian are coming
Many thousand Banglas are coming
Many thousand Nepalese are coming
Many thousand Pengundi Hantus will also coming
And thus many thousand "votes" are coming as to ensure BeeEnd surviving

Abdul Bachik said...

Hanif Omar is tired of counting money from his gain in Genting already. So must come out of retirement to fight Bersih like fighting Komunis?


Anonymous said...

This kausai very real smelly


wongty robert said...

The Niamah Crown should goes to Rais Yatim. According to the latest government public statement published in the newspapers, the total number of foreign workers in this country is around 1.8 million. But this non-home or human resource minister is claiming there are millions of happy Indonesians in this country and many more are coming in, by the thousands, is that not funny?