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Wednesday, June 13, 2012

If you don't do Facebook....

Hello there kawan-kawan. You may have noticed that of late I have been more active on Facebook than here at  Some of you have told me that you don't 'do' Facebook or Tweeter. And so as an attempt to keep you all in touch with what I am up to on the Internet I am going to post relevant articles that I write on Facebook here too. Can ah?  Enjoys ok?


Today, there are quite a lot of funnies......

Funny #1

Our dear old comedian-in-residence (resident in Parliament I mean) has come out with a hooter today.
He announced that salt and bottles are dangerous substances. Dangerous enough to topple governments wor. According to the article in The Malaysian Insider, Nazri supposedly said,  

“Don’t underrate salt and bottles. If supported by the public, it can topple governments." 

Phwaaar!!! Damn powerful stuff, right? Salt and bottles can topple governments. I'll bet all those suicide bombers with their virgins up there must be thinking, "Shit! You mean I didn't have to blow myself up?"

Personally, I agree with Nazri. Salt and bottles (of pepper preferably) are powderful stuff. Especially when sprinkled on Condo Beef stakes. Yummmmm!!!

Funny #2

And did you know that the regimes in Egypt, Libya and Tunisia were toppled by HAND PHONES? It's true according to Nazri. How? Ah that one don't know la. Tell us more, YB.

Ha! Now you flers will look at your Samsungs, Nokias, iPhones, HTCs with new respect kan?

Funny #3

But our dear old Nazri must be commended when he said that the BN government "...has an open-door policy towards suggestions by international election watchdogs, even if they are invited here by the Opposition, as the Government is committed towards electoral reform...We are open to whoever that wants to assist in ensuring that elections here are fair and free.We receive them with open arms as the Government, too, wants this..."

Good on you, YB! Sigh. If only comedians can chair cabinet meetings. Oh wait! One already does. Sorry.

Funny #4

And did you hear about Health Minister Liow Tiong Lai's announcement that the government plans to gazette more public areas as NO SMOKING zones? That is great news indeed and very politically-correct too. If only....

If only it had not come so close to the WWW15 debacle. But since it has, a lot of us suspect that all the announcements about No Smoking zones are just...


Hahahahahahaha...sorry ah. 



cin2tan said...

nazri: "...11,000 saja BUKAN 100 or 400 K , dat will be TOO much lah !! "
( yes, it's MORE righteous to donate hundreds of K to the POOR !)

IPOH news : a '12A+ spm' nonbumi single-parent Samtet boy MUST MUST
MUST appeal thro MB baru bolih dapat masak ...oops, masuk matrikulasi class ....DAMN @#$%^&*&^%$ DAMN !!


Anonymous said...

Dear Patrick,

Since you have gone to Stand-up comedy, others have followed your trend and they are easily beating you to it. You had to crank up your brain and produce laughter.. THEY are NATURALLY-BORN HOOTERS who can shoot straight from their mouth to their feet since it goes straight through the vacuum between their ears.


Anonymous said...

Dear Patrick,

The 'stop smoking' idea just hit him as he became sober after the bashing he got after spouting those strange statements about the plate. He must bave been smoking something and now needs some motivation to stop smoking


Budin said...

Nazri is truly a clown!

哈聂夫 said...


Trevor said...

I like the "smoke screens" line.

Completely spot on & ironic

Anonymous said...

pepper and salt , sure yummy on my egg burger, sometimes my eyes also drip with tears, too hot wor!!

jac said...

If only would announce pants and shorts would be a threat as well...then moi can run around in briefs and underwear only. Maklum la, our weather aint 15° celcius ma...

Anonymous said...

I trudy enjoys your sow. Very farney indid. I oso doondo pasebook. Poeple allways complin they dunch understood me. I oneder why?

monsterball said...

Chinese uses dumblings{siew pow} to topple.
Zulus uses spears to teach Brits a lesson.
Romans....chow ka stab stab stab when victim ..their friend was not looking.
French uses pigeons carry messages.
Boars are like mad dogs...charged and clobber enemies.
These are some of the old history how to win a war.
Nowadays...Mubarak bullies...go to jail.
Malaysian uses god gifted natural resources....water and salt.
Mahathir knows BN will be toppled.
What he is afraid of is going to jail for false charges.
Who the fuck wants to prepare false charges on a 85 year old man?

Take & Take Sdn Bhd said...

BN Clowns are getting Dumb and Dumber...

Badut Nasional.

SealTeam666 said...

Al-Qaeda will start bombing US planes with Salt & Water... powderful stuff!

Malaysia Cheekopek ASSociation said...

MCA should learn a thing or two...
Salt + Water = Humsap stuff!

Anonymous said...

Niamah leh. Sorry have to niamah first. Can't help it when reading the news that someone with 12A+ could not get any scholarship or even get into the first intake for matriculation. Even more niamah when a the MSM reported that this chap was finally able to secure a place to do matriculation after approaching a certain politician. How come no scholarship huh?
IPOH: Mentri Besar Datuk Seri Dr Zambry Abdul Kadir was pleasantly surprised when he received a Fathers Day card from an 18-year-old student whose own father had left him when he was only two.

Perak top SPM scorer Chaw Chun Lian said Dr Zambry was like a father figure to him. Although he scored 12A+, Chun Lian failed to gain entry into any local universities or matriculation colleges during the first intake in March and became very dispirited until his predicament was brought to Dr Zambry’s attention.

The former SMJK Sam Tet student was, however, beaming with joy when his appeal to study at the Selangor Matriculation College was accepted last week as a result of Dr Zambry’s intervention.

cjwayn said...

eh pat, share your voice-over clip here la.. im sure yr readers will like it..

Tiger said...

Bloody hell, Patrick!
Your one-liners all damn evil lah!
Why aren't you doing a daily comedy show?
But it's ok, because the MSM already provides us comedy material EVERY DAY courtesy of the comedians whose salaries are paid with our tax dollars!

Anonymous said...

Salt and pepper, very, very powderful!

Fadirah said...

My malay female roomate got aroused by the pictures of the 2 bottles you posted!

Anonymous said...

Government must stop irresponsible spending, root out corruptions & stop giving lop sided deals to their business friends.

Rakyat cannot & must tolerate incidences like NFC, PKFZ, government agencies buying things more than 2x above market price, lop sided deals favoring IPP, etc.

We cannot let this country be plunged deeper into debt & if not careful bankruptcy.

Anonymous said...

you fellow all MIMPI SEDIH aje... balls Chang living some in USJ

Anonymous said...

Hi Pat. Whats your ID in FB?

Anonymous said...

Hi Dj ? pls clarified a little bit somemore on the evidence act . Look s like lately not many dare to pose here or anywhere i think..

one day i think you and the monsters balls fellow only pose here..

from : Soh hai

monsterball said...

yes USJ won by DAP but very fragile now.
Hannah Yeoh is no politician.
She is living on the income as an elected Parliamentarian doing nothing.
USJ have more BN voters than PR.
The only way for USJ to be maintained by PR is by judging S'gore MB Khaild's performance.
So far so good...and come 13th GE lets hope the first timer young voters will make the difference between Malaysians ans Racists.
Who will represents PR...anyone but bot Hannah la.

monsterball said...

Seriously speaking....if Patrick Teoh stands at USJ for PR...the chances of winning is 55&...provided no cheating by BN.
I will volunteer to campaign for him and night.

Medium serieux said...

Seriousely you blog is the best one ever.I like what you and i hope that you continue your way.