From the horse's mouth.
Two funnies in the newspapers today....errr....I think there might be 3....or....oh what the hell it's funny la. It's The Star.
I bought my first copy of The Star in quite a few weeks this morning. Actually, I am glad I did. It provided me with a couple of laughs this Saturday morning. I'd like to share them with you.
On page 2 there is a story about Najib playing Santa Claus again. He's given RM60million to "refurbish traditional houses". Apparently, RM5,000 will be allocated to each family living in traditional houses in villages near FELDA schemes.
1st question. What the fuck are TRADITIONAL HOUSES?
2nd question. How come only traditional houses near FELDA schemes receive this windfall? (In case you've not been following the story, in addition to having a vast land bank FELDA also has a huge VOTE bank.)
On page 14 of the Star there is a story about our "perceived" hero of homeland security, Hishammuddin Hussein. He's been doing his rounds. Making his presence felt in the media by walkabouts in shopping malls and all. But what caught my eye this morning was his announcement that the Selangor police will hold a weekly media briefing to ensure the public receive accurate information on crime. Star quoted him as saying, "To avoid half baked stories and allegations we have decided to hold weekly meetings with media representatives. This way, information received will be straight from the horse's mouth."
Farniee or not? Hiyoh!!! Din, we all have stopped listening to your horse a long time already so don't waste your time and the time of the mata-mata all. Solve or prevent crimes instead la. Boleh ke?
Koh Tsu Koon can always be counted on for some good laughs. Although he himself might not be aware of his comedic talents. In today's story on page 12 he said that bringing the 2 Chinese pandas here will not be a waste of money. Why? Malaysians would get a chance to see the endangered animals and......wait for it.......the animals could also be used for conservation studies. Pandas for conservation studies in Malaysia??? What the fuck does that mean? Oh sorry. Did I actually just ask Koh for a logical answer? Sorry about that.
This headline on page 2 doesn't make sense. To me anyway. And not to mention it's in bad and incorrect English.
"Najib reminds Muslims to unite as one for the sake of holy month of Ramadan"
Unite as one? (errr...an one unite as TWO?) One what? Muslims are already united. Under Islam. All Muslims. All brothers.
Of course, Najib added that "factionalism among the Muslims due to political differences was one of the factors that could weaken Islam in the country."
Oooooh! You mean Muslims must unite under Umno issit? Then just say so la, baarger.
Hiyoh soooooooooo funny la....please allow me to say a very LOUD......
...............before I wish all our Muslim brethren a blessed Ramadan.