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Saturday, July 21, 2012

This is two funny!

 From the horse's mouth.

Two funnies in the newspapers today....errr....I think there might be 3....or....oh what the hell it's funny la. It's The Star.

I bought my first copy of The Star in quite a few weeks this morning. Actually, I am glad I did. It provided me with a couple of laughs this Saturday morning. I'd like to share them with you.

On page 2 there is a story about Najib playing Santa Claus again. He's given RM60million to "refurbish traditional houses".  Apparently, RM5,000 will be allocated to each family living in traditional houses in villages near FELDA schemes.

1st question. What the fuck are TRADITIONAL HOUSES?
2nd question. How come only traditional houses near FELDA schemes receive this windfall? (In case you've not been following the story, in addition to having a vast land bank FELDA also has a huge VOTE bank.)

Funny #2

On page 14 of the Star there is a story about our "perceived" hero of homeland security, Hishammuddin Hussein.  He's been doing his rounds. Making his presence felt in the media by walkabouts in shopping malls and all. But what caught my eye this morning was his announcement that the Selangor police will hold a weekly media briefing to ensure the public receive accurate information on crime.  Star quoted him as saying, "To avoid half baked stories and allegations we have decided to hold weekly meetings with media representatives. This way, information received will be straight from the horse's mouth."

Farniee or not? Hiyoh!!! Din, we all have stopped listening to your horse a long time already so don't waste your time and the time of the mata-mata all. Solve or prevent crimes instead la. Boleh ke?

Funny #3

Koh Tsu Koon can always be counted on for some good laughs. Although he himself might not be aware of his comedic talents.  In today's story on page 12 he said that bringing the 2 Chinese pandas here will not be a waste of money. Why? Malaysians would get a chance to see the endangered animals and......wait for it.......the animals could also be used for conservation studies.  Pandas for conservation studies in Malaysia???  What the fuck does that mean? Oh sorry. Did I actually just ask Koh for a logical answer?  Sorry about that.


This headline on page 2 doesn't make sense. To me anyway. And not to mention it's in bad and incorrect English. 

"Najib reminds Muslims to unite as one for the sake of holy month of Ramadan"

Unite as one? ( one unite as TWO?) One what? Muslims are already united. Under Islam. All Muslims. All brothers.

Of course, Najib added that "factionalism among the Muslims due to political differences was one of the factors that could weaken Islam in the country." 

Oooooh! You mean Muslims must unite under Umno issit? Then just say so la, baarger.

Hiyoh soooooooooo funny la....please allow me to say a very LOUD......


...............before I wish all our Muslim brethren a blessed Ramadan.


Pak Oncu said...

Salam 1 Malaysia Bro ,, n3 ini terbaekkkkkk

Anonymous said...

i think this unite as one should be coming from PKR mounth than umno !
Um no says All muslim must unite, of course.. we already did as one islam. maybe umno should show their back ground,show me your bank account, overseas,uncles, makcik, saudara, and declare your ass set.

bulan puasa is for the holy, clean muslim , not for the talk-talk tokkok muslim.
after the election all price will increase to recover our losses, BRIM,IM4U, ect-ect.... No free money Malaysia..Vote BN

Anonymous said...

rm60,000,000.00 for sewa-ing 2 pandas
for 10 years !!??

monsterball said...

You should keep by at least one paper...the Star and read and get more funnies.
I buy to read sports and world news.
You are a political blogger.
You need to read how the idiots advertised themselves in papers.

Suasana Politik Malaysia said...

Thank you for the wishes and also for this funny yet informative post.

Anonymous said...

anyway...why things happen is becos there is still alot of idiots in bolehland breed and brain washed to be a useless race by one doctor...

Anonymous said...

Stupid hisap-moo-din not only taking bull-shit, now oso want to talk horse-shit.

Anonymous said...

Uncle Pat, those are real political clowns. They don't deserve the rakyat's votes so let us Malaysians unite as one and boot them out this coming GE. Had enough of their stupidities.....

monsterball said...

Home Mister said "not sure" and within 24 hours he is cocksure.
Who says he is an idiot?
I think he is a tape recorder in human form.
Now that's not funny.
That's really sad...very sad {quoting from "Avatar" movie}
He is a freak!

Anonymous said...

Koh Tsu Koon and Gerakan is also an endangered species so send them to China in exchange for the pandas.

Doris said...


How much did you pay Wong Chun Wai to be featured on today's The Star for the publicity of Paper Crane?

Or is it an attempt by The Star to sweeten your mouth?

Anonymous said...

Najib dimalukan di Hari Koperasi Negara 2012. So funny that it is not even reported in The Star. See photo and video at this link:

1MalaySia-Sia Sahaja said...

How about focusing on our own endangered species like orang utan, tapir, tiger, etc.?

By the way, outside of bulan ramadan, umnoputras nonid to unite kah?

Kerismuddin, gotta love him for all the exactly opposite info he's giving us. Since his statistics says crime rate is going down every year, then I say we have much to fear for our lives! U know la, there's lies, damn lies, and KPIs & statistics.

Chet said...

I agree that we should focus on our own endangered species. But the agreement is already signed, so we should help to make sure the black and white guests are well cared for during their stay here. For example, by making sure their habitat is built to specifications with no corners cut.