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Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Wednesday Funny

Rais: Ha.Cam tu. U boleh membantu polis.
Wheelchair guy (thinking): Hahahahaha...saya rasa gembira bab Raja Lawak ni datang.
Red shirt guy: Yes, my sifu will volunteer.
White shirt guy (thinking):  What a tokkok fler this is.

A Wednesday funny! We have not really had very many of these. Not because Wednesday is a particularly UN-funny day of the week in Bolehland but... Actually, I don't really know the reason for there being a lack of Wednesday funnies. Anyway, today there is one that cannot be missed la.

As you know, politicians have to attend a lot of functions. Some official and others of a more social nature. And as politicians they make speeches at these functions. Some prepared by speech-writers. Some improvised on the spot because the speaker imagines himself/herself to be an orator or worse, thinks that speaking "off the cuff" makes him/her sound more sincere and honest. In most cases these politicians are wrong about their capabilities in the oratory department. My sincere apologies for this digression.  Okay, today's funny...

Crime, despite what Hishammuddin Hussein would have us believe, seems to be on the rise. At least in the Klang Valley. Malaysians have been vocal about wanting the police to do a better job. The government has also been equally vocal denying that crime is on the rise and blaming the media for the 'misconception'. And the latter is the reason that got me to notice the otherwise inconspicuous story in The Star today.

The headline read,  
"Help combat street crime, martial arts exponents told".

Huh??? What???

Information, Communication and Culture Minister, Rais Yatim had called on silat, karate, taekwondo etc groups to form a vigilante body to help the policecombat crime!!!

A vigilante group no less. I wonder if Rais knows the definition of VIGILANTE. According to Wikipedia a vigilante is a private individual or group of individuals who undertakes law enforcement WITHOUT legal authority.

"Fighting crime is not only the work of the police. Those who have skills in martial arts can also be roped in to help reduce street crime", he proudly announced to a group of furiously nodding members of  the Warrior Council of Malaysia (Pendekar)

Uncle Rais was in good form when he also advised those Pendekar flers, "As exponents, they can employ non-combatant methods to thwart criminals by using their bare hands. Their agile movements will also be helpful in nabbing the suspects."

Their agile movements will also be helpful in nabbing the suspects???!!! I don't think even the best comedian will come out with a better punchline (pun intended).

The Star story ended with the report that the president of Pendekar promising Uncle Rais that he and his group will work towards forming a vigilante group. I wonder if the president fler knows that vigilante groups are illegal. Does Rais know? And take a look at this quote. Supposedly from Rais la.

“Their approach will differ from Rela. As exponents, they can employ non-combatant methods to thwart criminals by using their bare hands. Their agile movements will also be helpful in nabbing the suspects,”

Differ from Rela? Does that mean the Rela flers will beat the shit out of you?
Employ non-combatant methods to thwart criminals by using their bare hands? What the fuck does that mean? 

We must be the only peaceful democratic in the world where a government minister openly calls for citizens to set up illegal gangs. Rais Yatim continues to amaze us with his (.....add your own word here.....)



YSL said...


We Malaysians, especially the products of the Malaysian National Education Policy have been so thoroughly and successfully brainwashed by these retards that eventually these idiots themselves begin to believe in their idiocy. Any surprise at all? The thinking Malaysians must wake up once and for all and put things back in perspective if we want to see our future generation ably to compete globally without making clown of themselves and become the universe's laughing stock like what is happening to Bodohland now. Sad. So sad.

najib manaukau said...

This is how the minister Rais got his P.HD when he was not wanted to be in the cabinet anymore !

dukuhead said...

oral diarrhea! Rice has once again outshone himself. Yo Rice!

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

The spate of accusations against BN politicians of freely, in unbridled fashion, spending the hard earned money of the people include the bad example of the Prime Minister himself and his wife in gala holiday and shopping trips abroad, his murkier-by-the-day RM7.3bil Scorpene submarines corruption scandal, the RM250mil National Feedlot Corporation fiasco, the RM12.5bil Port Klang Free Trade Zone debacle and a list that seems to be growing longer the more that Najib tries to buy time to appease the angry electorate.

Anonymous said...

Rakyat: Hello. Hello. Ini Polis ar?
Polis: Polis sini. Apahal?
Rakyat: Nak repot kes rompak di rumah sedang berlaku.
Polis: Perompak ada senjata kah?
Rakyat: Ada parang.
Polis: Nanti kami datang.

One hour later the police arrived at the crime scene...

Please give the rakyat the PENDEKAR hotline so that we can call these warriors to come apprehend the parang wielding robbers. Pretty please.

Anonymous said...

The Police, The Home Minister all claim that crime rate is down - in fact down by more than 20%! The trouble is do we find comfort in the stats? Is it all negative perception given by the media? Instead of just rubbishing the problem, I hope they'll investigate why their numbers and public perception don't sing the same tune.Maybe because people just DON'T BOTHER to make any report any more? or maybe they should focus on crime and not dabble in politics?

u-en said...

This is not to do with your post. It's to do with your ad for Paper Crane, which I note you're in. To wit, it's to do with the tagline "Rise and Fall of a Musical Star".


Dangerous weih.

Anonymous said...

eh..pat got nothing to do then pick on this fellow ' ok i am in english mode..come..' ..pathetic !

chang. from usj whom likes massage in vietnam.

Anonymous said...

He forgot to add 'In the same way that we ask our cronies who have the same skill as corrupted aurhorities to help us loot the country.'

ArtChan said...

Niamah is too Rais I say this poookeeemah

nick said...

The yuckky rice minister? He was already "basi" decades ago and yet still out there polluting (and not to mention utterly disgusting) the mind and the emotion of the Malaysian people. Yuck!!!


Clarence said...

we are going to have a bunch of Batmans swinging around the KL rooftops soon. Maybe some of the rich proxies will decide to be one, since they are richer than Bruce Wayne.

Vigilantes. I've seen poor choices of words, but this......

alex said...

With a name like his, he must have spent his childhood in some orphanage where he must have received a massive blow to his head thus killing off the bulk of his irreplaceable brain cells. His true colours started to show from the time he had the LeCog Dor mansion demolished. Since then, he has made a mockery of himself effortlessly.

Anonymous said...

pls note the differences :

'kita & kami', 'who & whom',
'then & than' .....!

Anonymous said...

gather the bagger around the street to help to lah, thet all know Hong-7-gong's crazy-dragon-18-punch

monsterball said...

Tax payers are loosing millions to support and idiot like him.
He talk cock most of the time.

1MalaySia-Sia Sahaja said...

Of course the OFFICIAL crime rate is down every yr, because the Polis Raja Di Malaysia guys try hard to prevent victims from making police reports over "petty" (to them, at least) crimes, to cut down on their own workload. Theft, robbery? Tak payah buat laporan lah, takda orang mati pun. Tak dapat tangkap punya lah.

If there's no loss of official documents, many victims also don't bother to make police reports, to prevent further anguish courtesy of PRDM, knowing that the police is less interested to nab snatch thieves, robbers & rapists, compared to raiding pubs, massage parlours & brothels where they can see scantily clad foreign females.

Kelly Yin said...

I laughed out loud reading this un-funny wednesday article ha ha ha!

Anonymous said...

hello, this fler said his thesis no good for his PHd. which University gave him Permanent Head Damage? its showing, by the way.

Anonymous said...

Conscientiously stupid Minister. NIAMAH !!!