Rais: Ha.Cam tu. U boleh membantu polis.
Wheelchair guy (thinking): Hahahahaha...saya rasa gembira bab Raja Lawak ni datang.
Red shirt guy: Yes, my sifu will volunteer.
White shirt guy (thinking): What a tokkok fler this is.
A Wednesday funny! We have not really had very many of these. Not because Wednesday is a particularly UN-funny day of the week in Bolehland but... Actually, I don't really know the reason for there being a lack of Wednesday funnies. Anyway, today there is one that cannot be missed la.
As you know, politicians have to attend a lot of functions. Some official and others of a more social nature. And as politicians they make speeches at these functions. Some prepared by speech-writers. Some improvised on the spot because the speaker imagines himself/herself to be an orator or worse, thinks that speaking "off the cuff" makes him/her sound more sincere and honest. In most cases these politicians are wrong about their capabilities in the oratory department. My sincere apologies for this digression. Okay, today's funny...
Crime, despite what Hishammuddin Hussein would have us believe, seems to be on the rise. At least in the Klang Valley. Malaysians have been vocal about wanting the police to do a better job. The government has also been equally vocal denying that crime is on the rise and blaming the media for the 'misconception'. And the latter is the reason that got me to notice the otherwise inconspicuous story in The Star today.
The headline read,
"Help combat street crime, martial arts exponents told".
Information, Communication and Culture Minister, Rais Yatim had called on silat, karate, taekwondo etc groups to form a vigilante body to help the policecombat crime!!!
A vigilante group no less. I wonder if Rais knows the definition of VIGILANTE. According to Wikipedia a vigilante is a private individual or group of individuals who undertakes law enforcement WITHOUT legal authority.
"Fighting crime is not only the work of the police. Those who have skills in martial arts can also be roped in to help reduce street crime", he proudly announced to a group of furiously nodding members of the Warrior Council of Malaysia (Pendekar)
Uncle Rais was in good form when he also advised those Pendekar flers, "As exponents, they can employ non-combatant methods to thwart criminals by using their bare hands. Their agile movements will also be helpful in nabbing the suspects."
Their agile movements will also be helpful in nabbing the suspects???!!! I don't think even the best comedian will come out with a better punchline (pun intended).
The Star story ended with the report that the president of Pendekar promising Uncle Rais that he and his group will work towards forming a vigilante group. I wonder if the president fler knows that vigilante groups are illegal. Does Rais know? And take a look at this quote. Supposedly from Rais la.
“Their approach will differ from Rela. As exponents, they can employ non-combatant methods to thwart criminals by using their bare hands. Their agile movements will also be helpful in nabbing the suspects,”
Differ from Rela? Does that mean the Rela flers will beat the shit out of you?
Employ non-combatant methods to thwart criminals by using their bare hands? What the fuck does that mean?
We must be the only peaceful democratic in the world where a government minister openly calls for citizens to set up illegal gangs. Rais Yatim continues to amaze us with his (.....add your own word here.....)