Monday funnies

Explosive pleasures missed by our boys in blue.

Hi folks. Just a couple of quick ones for the start of the week. No, I am not going to comment on the CSL-LGE debate. I didn't understand most of it. Yes I do not read or write Chinese and I know that most of the people there would have been ashamed of me and say that I am not worthy to be a Chinese. But I am Malaysian first. So there!  :-)  And I never understood why the "debate" was about Chinese issues only. And why there were questions from the floor about the Penang flers towing away illegally parked cars even though it was late at night and there was no traffic. As though she is implying that laws only work during normal office hours. But I like that woman who asked the question. She shows she has balls. I mean, not many people would dare stand up in public and admit that they are stupid.  Well done, madam! Eh? I said I would not comment and then I did. What la!  Sorry ah.

The funniest line found in The Star today is courtesy of the deputy prime minister, Muhyiddin Yassin.  He's always good for a laugh.

He was quoted as saying, "Victory for Pakatan will result in changes in the laws upheld by Barisan Nasional all this while."

Errr.......Mr. Deputy Prime Minister....and your point is? The people want changes in a lot of things upheld by Barisan Nasional all this while, kan? That's why
we vote in elections. No ah? That's why governments are voted in and out. No ah?

In another Star story we are told that our police flers "see through the ads - and smash gambling dens". Phwaaar!!! Damn terror, right?  But if our PDRM could really 'see through' anything, why are there illegal ads all over the place? Like these advertisements seem to enjoy some form of protection la.  You know the type of ads I mean. Ah Long ads on walls and five-foot ways. Some more with telephone numbers all. Should be easy to catch, right? And of course those advertisements for explosive massages or volcano massages. It takes little imagination to get the thinly-veiled message of these ads for physio-therapy of the erotic type. The latest one I saw on one of the walls of the LDP promised 2-Stop Massages.  Hmmm...2 stops. I wonder what that is. Anyway, I digress. So kawan-kawan Polis DiRaja Malaysia, if you really can see through ads and catch the flers can you do us a favour by looking a bit harder ah? And those volcano and explosive massage places should be fun to raid what.

Niamah!!!

So you thought it was safe to breathe easy a bit

That's right. I'm fucked!!!

Ladies and gents, as you ponder over a) the consequences of having to pay extra for national health care and b) whether the ministry has told you everything you need to know to make up your mind about its intentions and c) whether you will survive long enough on your present salary vs. today's cost of living to get sick and require health care. Here is something that you might be interested to read. Enjoy. Although I doubt it.  Hee hee hee...

Kuala Lumpur, Feb 17 ---- Kuala Lumpur rose another twelve spots in the Economist Intelligence Unit's (EIU) ranking of the world's most expensive cities, reaching 74th in February from 86th in June last year. This comes as mounting concerns over stubbornly high inflation and stagnant wages pose a potential challenge for the Najib administration which has to call for general elections before March next year.

Data made available by the EIU to The Malaysian Insider show that KL's cost of living index rose from 67th in June, 2009, which was just after Datuk Seri Najib Razak took over as prime minister, to 83rd this month, a jump of 16 points or 23 per cent.

This means KL is now 83 per cent as expensive as New York although its salaries are nowhere near as high as those in the global financial capital.

The EIU takes into account more than 160 items, from food, toiletries and clothing to domestic help, transport and utility bills, in 140 cities worldwide to formulate its index, which uses New York City as a benchmark.

Analysts have said that the cost of living will be one of the biggest issues in the next election.

In the run-up to the 2008 polls, a spike in fuel prices and toll rates had contributed to a backlash against the Abdullah administration and helped earn the ruling Barisan Nasional (BN) coalition the informal moniker of "Barang Naik" (Malay for "Price Increase").

The cost of living was also a key election in last year's Singapore general election in which the ruling People's Action Party (PAP) won in the narrowest vote-margin since the island republic's independence.

While the Consumer Price Index, which is taken to be the official rate of inflation, was 3.2 per cent last year, many urbanites feel that the figures do not reflect the real rise in cost of living and that wages have not kept pace.

Price increases, especially for property and food, also tend to be higher in urban areas where BN tends to be weakest.
The Najijb administration faces a difficult dilemma as it has pledged financial reforms such as subsidy cuts to help reduce the budget deficit and eliminate market distortions, but aggressive reductions in subsidy could further increase the cost of living.  It introduced a one-off cash grant for low income households in this year's budget but such schemes are not seen to be sustainable.

Zurich was ranked as the world's most expensive city, about 70 per cent more expensive than New York, followed by Tokyo and Oslo.


The online version of the EIU report is available HERE.


Niamah!!!

Specially for YOU!

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NIAMAH!!!

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Happy Valentine's Day. For those who won't be damned only..

Come be my Valentine. I have a HOT babe waiting for you down here.

Yes it has been quite a long time since I last updated Niamah!!! My apologies for the delay. I really don't know why I have not had any inclination to blog the last month or so.  I know that there has been so many things happening in our  country that warrant some comment or other. But I was just feeling too frustrated and lazy to write about them. Thankfully, they were more than adequately covered by many other online writers.  Yes, and the Chinese New Year holidays didn't do anything to spur my need to Niamah!!! During the period it was usually more Yam Seng!!! than Niamah!!! Thank goodness. Now that Chinese New Year is over and most of the noisy fire-cracker shows have ended we back to focusing on things like the perennial evils of Valentine's Day. We seem to hear the same thing year in year out don't we? It is kind of tiring really. Especially since those flers really have nothing new to add. Oh wait!  There is something in today's news. In an apparent effort to invoke fear of the Almighty's displeasure, JAKIM has issued a warning to the faithful that sending out an invitation to "be my Valentine" may invoke God's wrath! How? Well, I was thinking of trying to explain what I read in The Malaysian Insider story but gave up halfway. It's best that you read for yourself the 'logic' behind the learned pronouncements by Department of Islamic Development Malaysia (Jakim) as well as Federal Territory Islamic Department (Jawi) HERE. 


Another issue that has got Malaysians riled up in recent weeks has been the announcement of the 1Care health care insurance proposal.  An across-the-board 10% deduction from the salaries of all employees has been proposed to fund this new health care system which we are told is based almost entirely on the system used in the United Kingdom. Not that you and me and 99% of the Malaysian Rakyat know what that means la. Most Malaysians just zoom in on the fact that another 10% of their salary is set to be cut from an already shrinking ability to cope with the rising cost of living in the country. Which brings into question our government's usual way of announcing these things. The rule seems to be announce first la. We think and formulate the details later la. Which results in all sorts of accusations and misunderstandings.

Deduct 10% salary. Mandatory. No choice one.


HA??? HOW CAN? I ALREADY DON'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO EVEN GET BY NOW WANT TO DEDUCT ANOTHER 10%? WHAT THE FUCK?

No la. Just talking only. We not yet decide la. 

Only can consult doctor 6 times a year. GP only ok? And cannot choose doctor one. You sick, we tell you which doctor you will see.


HA? HOW CAN? 6 TIMES A YEAR? WHAT IF I GET SICK MORE TIMES?

No, no, no it's not like that one. 

THEN HOW?


Errr... actually nothing is finalised yet. Don't worry. We explain later.


WHAT THE FUCK!


We are still at proposal stage. So don't worry. We can discuss nicely, nicely later okay?


THEN WHY THE FUCK TELL ME BITS AND PIECES AND MAKE ME UPSET? THINK I GOT NOTHING ELSE TO WORRY ABOUT AH?


Errr...actually the YB say ah...all decided already. It is going to happen. Whether you like it or not.


WHAT THE FUCK!!!

You get my drift? That seems to be the way Kerajaan Malaysia does things of late. Think of an idea. Announce first. Think about details later. If people don't make noise then good lor. Then we can take our time and fuck things up in our own time. We will appear to be doing something good and maybe we can make some money for ourselves in the process.

If the people complain and make noise then we back-track. And then announce to the people that we are listening to them because we are a government for the people ma. Rakyat Diutamakan. Yay! So vote for us lor.

For me this year of the Dragon came with the final realisation that we as Malaysians, after 50+ years of Independence have become a nation of people who are cynical and suspicious of everything our government does. Or doesn't do. Right or not?


1Care = Ha! See la! Which crony is going to make some money here? 


Valentine's Day = Okay, time to stir up some religious action to keep the rakyat divided and weak. 


KFC punch-up =  Malay flers beating up Chinese fler. Nobody focuses on the fact that it is just a case of abominable customer service and demand an apology from KFC!

See? Now you can understand why I've not been here for a long time. Even to think about these things can die one la.


NIAMAH!!!

NIAMAH!!!