Phwaaar!!!

Chua, the STIMULATOR

I got this headline from a Twitter feed....

Dr. Chua: Govt will keep stimulating economy

Somehow it tickled me and made me think of what Chua was doing to that woman in the video.  I suppose the operative word was STIMULATING.

Sorry. It's nearing that time of the day. I just couldn't resist.

Niamah!!!

We are so funny sometimes can cry one

Vote me! I make you laugh. Sure one!

Actually, what will we do for laughs when Barisan Nasional loses Putrajaya?

Wait! Who's to say that Pakatan Rakyat won't be good comedians to once they become the government. They've been practising too.

Interesting times for Malaysia.  Hahahahahahahaha.....


NIAMAH!!!

Believe or not? True one.

Kau gila ke? Where got time to find and report truth one?

A Malaysian lawyer has finally revealed that Malaysian newspapers do not necessarily tell the truth.  Why? Because they can't. Got no time to ascertain the truth before selling the paper ma. After all it is a business first, right?  Shocking isn't it?  But yet this is the line of defense used by the lawyer acting for Utusan Malaysia in its defense of the defamation suit brought against it by Anwar Ibrahim.

Utusan Malaysia's lawyer Firoz Hussein Ahmad told the High Court ......

"If newspapers have to go through the full process of ascertaining the truth, the details, they wouldn't be able to report the next day." 

This story is almost as good as the other one by another lawyer who claimed that Teoh Beng Hock strangled himself.

I guess all Malaysians know the quality of the "truths" reported by our mainstream media.

There is more truth in a whore's professional moans of pleasure.


NIAMAH!!!

May 13. History or fiction.

Heh heh heh...I  know what you did last summer.

Yesterday I read the news from an online news portal. The words May 13 caught my eye. Yes that date does that to Malaysians of my generation. What caught my attention next was this statement by the head of Umno Youth, Khairy Jamaluddin. He was reported as saying...

"In history, it is already written what happened in this tragedy; everyone also knows who was responsible for it."

The questions that immediately jumped into my simple mind were:-

a)     Already written? By whom? Which version is the truth?

b)     Everyone also knows who was responsible? Really? Who then?

This morning I trawled out this from somewhere on the Internet. It is purportedly a letter written by Malaysia's 1st Prime Minister, Tunku Abdul Rahman Putra in 1972, 3 years after the May 13, 1969 racial riots.

“It was clear to me as well as the police that in the highly charged political atmosphere after the police were forced to kill a Chinese political party worker on May 4th, 1969, something was bound to happen to threaten law and order because of the resentment towards the Government by the KL Chinese on the eve of the general election. This was confirmed at this man’s funeral on the 9th May when the government faced the most hostile crowd it had ever seen.Therefore, when the opposition parties applied for a police permit for a procession to celebrate their success in the results of the general election, I was adamant against it because the police were convinced that this would lead to trouble.I informed Tun Razak about this and he seemed to agree. Now, without my knowledge and actually“behind my back,” there were certain political leaders in high positions who were working to force me to step down as a PM. I don’t want to go into details but if they had come to me and said so I would gladly have retired gracefully.Unfortunately, they were apparently scheming and trying to decide on the best way to force me to resign.The occasion came when the question of the police permit was to be approved.Tun Razak and Harun Idris, the MB of the state of Selangor, now felt that permission should be given knowing fully well that there was a likelihood of trouble. I suppose they felt that when this happened they could then demand my resignation.To this day I find it very hard to believe that Razak, whom I had known for so many years, would agree to work against me in this way. Actually, he was in my house as I was preparing to return to Kedah and I overhead him speaking to Harun over the phone saying that he would be willing to approve the permitwhen I left. I really could not believe what I was hearing and preferred to think it was about some otherpermit. In any case, as the Deputy Prime Minister in my absence from KL, he would be the Acting PMand would override my objection. Accordingly, when I was in my home in Kedah, I heard over the radio that the permit had been approved.It seems as though the expected trouble was anticipated and planned for by Harun and his UMNO Youth. After the humiliating insults hurled by the non-Malays, especially the Chinese, and after the seeming loss of Malay political power to them, they were clearly ready for some retaliatory action. After meeting in large numbers at Harun’s official residence in Jalan Raja Muda near Kampong Bahru and hearing inflammatory speeches by Harun and other leaders, they prepared themselves by tying ribbon strips on their foreheads and set out to kill Chinese. The first hapless victims were two of them in a van opposite Harun’s house who were innocently watching the large gathering. Little did they know that they would be killed on the spot.The rest is history. I am sorry but I must end this discussion now because it really pains me as the Father of Merdeka to have to relive those terrible moments. I have often wondered why God made me live long enough to have witnessed my beloved Malays and Chinese citizens killing each other.”

Now, I don't know if this letter from the Tunku is real or not but it also raises some other questions...

a)     Does Khairy agree with the Tunku's version? "In history, it is already written..." ma.

b)     Is Khairy calling the Tunku a liar because he (Khairy) knows exactly what happened? Everyone also knows who was responsible ma.

Hiyoh! Malaysian politics damn difficult to faham la.

NIAMAH!!!

Terima Kasih

Niamah!!!'s hits counter just went past 

6,000,000

Thank you all for your kind support.

Mahathir's billions. An update.

An update on Mahathir's billions...

2) The Wikipedia page listed a source that said Tun M was the wealthiest head of state/government in the world. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_heads_of_state_and_government_by_net_worth)

3) I checked out the source - (http://www.financetwitter.com/2011/02/marcos-mubarak-mahathir-whos-the-richest-man.html) - and this is what it said:

"Using the same rule of thumb that Mubarak 'earned' about US1 billion to US2 billion annually, Mahathir’s wealth easily top US$22 to US$44 billion over his 22-year of iron-fist rule."

So, basically the source determined the value of a person's wealth by "rule of thumb". Is that a good way of counting money?! Rule of THUMB?! And every year the same amount?

4) Wikipedia has since removed Tun M's name from that listing - obviously the source was laughably questionable. So now if you look back to the same Wikipedia page, you won't find Tun M's name there anymore.

Why you all say me until like dat?

I was at a party last night. The conversation eventually turned to the popular story currently circulating on the Internet. That Mahathir is worth more than USD40 billion! 

Ha! Who said one?
Wikipedia! My friend told me one. He read it in Wikipedia.

Why are Malaysians so eager to believe the story that Mahathir Mohd. is worth more than USD40billion because they read it or was told by somebody who read it in Wikipedia?

There is a list of heads of state (current and past) and their net worth on Wikipedia. But Mahathir's name is not on it. Unless there is another list that I didn't find.

Wikipedia is an online, open encyclopedia. Anyone can invent, update and post stuff on it. 

Ya! If you want you can go there and update the entry on anyone and say they are worth billions or that they had sex with a menstruating camel while on a lawat sambil belajar trip.

While writing this I received another email from a friend telling me the 'sensational' story or Mahathir's USD40 billion. This time the email tells me that the story is spread by this website  but when I went there I couldn't find the Mahathir billions story. How come ah?

Niamah!!!

WTF!

Ala! Cakap je!

Christmas Day, 2012 started with a hangover. For me. The result of much mirth and friendly partying the night before. Slight headache. Body didn't feel like responding to any call for any sort of physical exertion. But otherwise it was a good feeling for a Christmas day. Then I went online and read The Malaysian Insider. And I made this post on my Facebook page...

The statement most likely to spoil an otherwise wonderful Christmas Day...

I do not want to be a prime minister for only a particular section of the community. I'm a prime minister for all Malaysians, and I've said that repeatedly - Najib Razak.

When I read that it was with great effort that I kept the turkey, mince pies and 25-year old single malt whiskey from doing a reverse journey from my gut.

Najib should do well to remember that the last time a Malaysian prime minister said something similiar he was removed before the end of his term. Yes, Najib you have said such things before. Repeatedly as you say. When you speak to Malays you sing the Malay song. When you speak to Chinese you sing the right Chinese tune. When you speak to Indians you make promises too. So I would like to say to you, repeatedly also...

NIAMAH!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Remember, before Santa Claus and Christmas trees there were Joseph, Mary

 and a very special baby named,

JESUS

HERE'S WISHING EVERYONE 

MERRY CHRISTMAS 

AND 

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Public safety

Boss, jangan gelak boss. Semua ok ke?

When I was driving yesterday I heard this Public Service Announcement (PSA) on Capital FM. The announcement was about public safety and what we should do to stay safe.

This announcement had Xandria Ooi (one of Capital's morning presenters) tell me,

"...with the situation these days, I always assume that I am UN-safe..."

I felt kind of sad hearing that. How do you feel?

Niamah!!!

Oh-oh!!! The end is nigh.

Can stand earthquake or not?

According to Malaysian numerologist, Marinah Ng, the numbers 21-12-2012 represent revolution, strife, anger and aggression. On this day she predicts that there will be earthquakes or burst pipes underground.   She also said that disasters, if they do take place will be in places where many bad deeds have been committed.

Oh SHIT!!! Really ah?

I hope Putrajaya is earthquake-proof. Is it?  What about the world's biggest TV screen, the Putra World Trade Centre? A lot of innocent people too in these places. Remember folks there's still quite a number of hours left of 21-12-2012. Take care ya?

Niamah!!!

Merry Christmas

When I first started working on radio >40 years ago I was introduced to this version of The 12 Days Of Christmas by Allan Sherman. Over the years of course there have been many versions made of this popular Christmas song. But Allan Sherman's remains my favorite. Enjoy!!!

The End?

According to these guys the End is tomorrow. 21st December, 2012

Of course, if they could really predict stuff they might still be around. No?

It's 20-12-2012 today. Cloudy. Grey skies. Rain clouds in the distance. End of the world coming? Unlikely. Traffic gridlock in Kuala Lumpur? Definitely. And if you haven't done your Christmas shopping for the wife and kids...well I guess it is the end of the world for you. :-) Have a nice day, folks.

ABU appeal.

FUEL the fight against injustice, corruption and 

flawed governance. Contribute to ABU and fuel the 

fight for the future of our country and our children.

ABU - Asalkan Bukan Umno

Read and contribute to the cause 

HERE

Advertorial

Hello everyone. My wife, Min is conducting classes in figurine sculpting (suitable for cake toppers etc.) classes.

Starting January 2013.  Location: Damansara Perdana.

Come sign up and have some creative fun.

Details available HERE 

Please help spread the word by forwarding this message to your family and friends and anyone who would be interested in the classes.  Thank you so much for your help, kawan-kawan.

Want to take photo or don't take photo?

Some day we may be 'compensating' somebody for these toys.

This is clear proof that our lawmakers (I hate that name. Lawmakers? They are more like clowns with verbal diarrhea) are sleeping on their jobs, or worse closing one eye and shutting the other.

Putrajaya is considering holding back the implementation of the controversial Automated Enforcement System (AES) to avoid duplicating the police summons system that can double the hardship to motorists...

Considering? Now? What the fuck were you doing when the whole cock idea was being mooted and then approved? Too busy counting how much money you could make or siphon off, issit? 

NIAMAH!!!

DUHHHHH!!!

Chua Tee Yong. Acting dumb or really dumb?

Clear proof that Chua Tee Yong is NOT as smart as his father thinks he is......

Quote: "Is our future that bleak when our country's economic growth is 5.2%?" - Chua Tee Yong, deputy minister of Agriculture and Agro-based Industries.

No Chua. It's just that we no longer believe what Barisan Nasional tell us. Get it?  DUH!!!

NIAMAH!!!

It's a very funny Monday

This photo clearly shows who is the real Number 1 fler in the MIC. Numbers don't lie. Much.

Najib called the Indian community Barisan Nasional's "fixed deposit". Meaning that the Indian flers are all in BN's pockets la. Insulting enough, right? But Najib and his speech writers didn't seem to think so. So today's reports quote Naji

b saying...
"They had been our fixed deposit all this while but we have not been paying high interest...However, in the last four years, the Barisan has been paying them higher interest rates"

So Jibby, after 55 years of neglect you're now telling the Indian flers that BN have just realised their mistake and will pay more attention to their (Indian) needs. Is that it? I don't know la. If any Indian flers will take that sitting down I would be really surprised and disappointed. Insult heaped upon insult and still don't get it ah? How can?

"However, in the last four years, the Barisan Nasional has been paying them higher interest rates". To me that is a IN-YOUR-FACE insult. But of course, I am not Indian la.

NIAMAH!!!

Have a HaHaHa Monday

Some funnies to help start the week off right...

Does this photo show that Palanivel is a man who doesn't know left from right?

The most laughable statement heard from the government bureaucrats today...

Election Commission (EC) officers are within their democratic right to join political parties but they must not be partisan in carrying out their duties - EC chairman Abdul Aziz Mohd Yusof.

Can join political parties but must not be partisan in carrying out their duties??? Has such a noble creature ever been born in Malaysia or anywhere else? 

---o0o---

This isn't the MOST laughable but it is funny nevertheless...

A good politician should not comment after he leaves - Samy Velu

Wonder if he got a call from Mahathir after that?

Niamah!!! 

Dei tamby why your FD interest so low one?

 Dei Samy! One more time la, okay?

Just saw this headline in The Malaysian Insider......

Najib calls on MIC to return Indians as 

BN’s ‘fixed deposit’

Najib should know, right? Fixed Deposits these days give very LOW interests. Hahahahaha...sorry couldn't resist.

And then hav

ing a photo taken with Samy Velu ain't going to endear old Najib to too many 

Indians. Right? Or is the old man still the Indian strong man?

Niamah!!!

He comes....after 40 years!

Dulu bapa gua mali. Sekarang gua sudah datang. Ha? Ya le...lambat sikit.

The statement most UN-likely to make Tanjung Tokong voters think that Najib is the Prime Minister for them........

In 1972, Datuk Seri Najib’s father, who was the prime minister at the time, came here and after 40 years, Najib is coming - Tanjung Tokong Federal Village Security and Development Committee chairman Idris Bakar.

What would Najib have said to Idris for that? Maybe..."Thanks, Idris. FOR NOTHING!!!" 

NIAMAH!!!

full story here

A Niamah!!! Moment

Hahahahaha...this is fast man!  Right after I posted the last Niamah!!! update I went online to read the news and was immediately got some smack in the face.

The statement most likely to make you roll down the car window and go PTUUUIIII!!!......

I didn’t define the concept (1Malaysia) very clearly, but that was by design - Najib Razak.

At first, I wanted to explain the story behind that state

ment but I am so too lan now I think you better read it yourself la. But before you go to the source of that report in The Malaysian Insider here is another quote from Najib to perhaps make you even more TOO LAN and put you in the mood to read the TMI story...

1 Malaysia is also products and services which will lighten the burden of the people and improve their quality of life - Najib Razak.

Niamah!!!

Greetings

Hello everyone. Thank you for being so patient. I realise that this is the longest that Niamah!!! has been silent since its launch a few years ago.  The whole month of November, 2012.  Whenever I am quiet for an extended period of time there are always friends (and foes I suppose) who will speculate if I have been:-

1.   Arrested and thrown in jail.
2.   Been paid a "friendly" visit by members of the Special Branch in the middle of the night.
3.   Been called to Putrajaya and given some friendly "advice" by Rais Yatim.
4.   Been called to Putrajaya and offered some legal tender "incentives" to stop mouthing off.

But ...... I am sorry that I have to tell you nothing as dramatic as any of the above actually happened. Ya. Being Niamah!!! isn't all that exciting I'm afraid. The simple reason is that I have been very busy with work. The kind that pays Ringgits so that my family can have a roof over their heads and food on the table. In October I was privileged to be involve in the shooting of Take Me To Dinner, a film by my friend, Gavin Yap.  And immediately after that I started rehearsing for the play, Nadirah which had a very successful SRO run at the Kuala Lumpur Performing Arts Centre (KLPAC). Straight after that we took a short holiday to Melbourne. And upon coming home I started rehearsing for another play, Philadelphia, Here I Come for The Actors Studio.  I have also just completed shooting my scenes in a new feature film which features some young and exciting directors and writers. And something wiped out my entire desktop on the laptop so I've lost all the photos and Word documents etc.

So, yeah it's been a hectic last quarter and Niamah!!! suffered because of it. However, I have not been totally unaware of what has been happening in Malaysia and among us Malaysians. I have been posting regularly on Facebook simply because it is an easier medium to use when I don't have time to sit and write lengthy rants.  Some of you have told me that you do not like to use Facebook and therefore do not go there to read my nonsense. But for those of you who might want to try it out surf over HERE

To make it easier for everyone I shall duplicate all my Facebook rants here on Niamah!!! from now on so you can have a choice of where to read.  It's good to be back. And, once again, thank you all for being so patient and friendly.  Finally, what was the latest thing that made you go.......

NIAMAH!!!