Google AdSense

Niamah!!! in Chinese

Niamah!!! Chinese version YorMarder!!! http://niamahinchinese.blogspot.com/

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Don't worry be happy

Where got? I was buka puasa-ing at a function in KL.


While driving home this morning I heard on the radio that today is International Day of Happiness. So be happy everybody!  Laugh. Have a wonderful day. 

And while browsing the news today I also found that there is much to laugh at and laugh about today. For instance, there is almost conclusive proof that Dr. Mahathir is not senile. He is in fact in full control of his mental capacities and has a good sense of humor. 

When launching Rosmah Mansor's 180-paged biography (I would have thought she'd be able to fill more) Mahathir suggested that the biography be distributed to schools as a guide for future generations “100 or 200 years from now”. A guide for future generations??? Yup the old doctor said that it was "...to make sure that our chilren are able to read from the other side." The news portal did not elaborate on what he exactly meant by "reading from the other side." Told you. The old man is funny.

On that same page there is another story full of laughs. When questioned at the book launch about her alledged involvement in the Altantuya murder Rosmah said that she was not involved as “I was at the Tabung Haji building from evening till midnight.There were many eyewitnesses there”.

So there you go. She cannot be involved because she was at a function in KL. Errrr...but...oh...never mind la. We take your word for it. You were not there so you were not involved. Ok. Hahahahaha...sorry I couldn't help it.

And her 180-paged biography is selling for RM150!!! That's RM1.20 per page. I wonder if it will topple Kee Thuan Chye from the best-seller list soon?

---o0o---

I have only met former cabinet minister, Shahrizat Abdul Jalil once. At the launch of a TV movie. I was surprised at how large a woman she is. Yes, she is big. Anyway, that isn't the funny bit. The laughs are from the reports of her testimony at the ongoing legal suit against the PKR's Wanita chief Zuraida Kamaruddin and Mohd Rafizi. 

Shahrizat said that the NFCorp, helmed by her husband had bought a RM534,622 Mercedes-Benz in 2009 as a company car. And the reason for buying such an expensive luxury car? Please hold on to your chair because you might fall off laughing...she said that NFCorp was a “big enterprise” that was visited by important foreign guests. And I suppose the Merc would suitably impress those foreign flers. She also implied that although the Merc costs more than RM500,000 there were 4 directors in the company but they only bought 1 Merc. Okay ma. Not greedy osso.

And then how come her husband and sons bought a condominium in Singapore using NFC money? Her  explanation to a layman like me sounds hilariously funny. She alledgedly said that since NFC money was lying around idle, due to some reason beyond their control, the directors thought it was a good idea to invest the money to make some quick returns and that the condo was in their personal names because NFC being a start-up company could not get loans.

She is suing those 2 flers for RM100million. Wah! If she wins she can buy quite a number of condominiums man. And to think that I almost ate at a Meatworks restaurant once . Brrrrrr......

---o0o---

In his state-of-the-nation address prime minister Najib said, “The people of Malaysia must choose between ... a government that will continue proven policies, or the other side who speak with a forked 
tongue, who take people’s trust lightly”.  Eh? Funny right? Whose side is he on? Hahahahahaha...

The rest of the laughs International Day of Happiness today is provided by our prime minister. He announced, among other things, that crime rates are down... the seven National Key Result Areas (NKRAs) in the Government Transformation Programme (GTP) have succeeded in addressing the needs of the people... in fact almost everything is good la. And after telling us not to whine so much about giving up subsidies on sugar, petrol, diesel etc. and not to be addicted to dependence on subsidies he announced that the BR1M cash handouts would be a yearly affair from now. To buffer the effects of rising costs of living wor. 

Hahahahaha...

I am not sure I can take so much happiness in one day la.

NIAMAH!!!

15 comments:

f gulsara said...

I thought I heard sarcasm when old man said the biography would be read for 200 years!? Or is it just me?

Anonymous said...

I think Mahatir have not lost his wit and sarcasm!

Anonymous said...

Dear Happy Teoh

It's good to be happy. Doctors say happy is good for health.

I am happy too, after reading your happy write-up. I am extremely happy to read about our 1st lady's book.

You were wondering if it will topple Kee Thuan Chye from the best-seller list soon. I'd say a BIG 'yes' to that. And you are so dumb not to see this coming.

It will be the biggest seller of all times in Malaysia and even globally.

I bet instructions and cash have been handed down to soldier-ants on the ground to snap up her books from the book stores in Malaysia, like hot cakes.

Mahathir says school kids should read about it. Darn! That's a bloody licence to print money. I bet Kementerian Pendidikan will issue a directive to all schools soon asking them to make it a compulsory reading for students of all ages. All parents have to buy (i.e. pay for) the book for their school-going children. It will be a compulsory subject in ALL public exams in Malaysia. Fail that subject and you fail the entire public exam. To lighten students' burden, they will allow them to fail Bahasa Malaysia but pass the public exam.

Next, all civil servants will be given a copy (but price of the book automatically deducted from their salary). Again it will be a compulsory subject for any civil servants aspiring to be promoted or existing high ranking civil servants to retain their post.

In 1 year, her book will be the 'gospel' of all Malaysians. Our students, our youths, our intellects will all read and discuss her autobiography with zest! Phd students will do dissertations of how she's even afraid of lizards. Holding her book while walking on the street would be the norm, much better than holding LV or Birkin bags. This will be bigger than the "red book" phenomenon during the Mao cultural revolution era.

The book will somehow get listed on Amazon and other online book-stores globally and "un-surprisingly" there will be thousands of online purchase of the book on a daily basis, courtesy of Malaysian tax-payers.

This is the biggest blockbuster in human history!!!

And I am not even talking about spin-offs like movies, drama serials, toys, online-games, fashion ... the list goes on.

And I am not even talking about a sequel to the autobiography which will be even bigger than this book.

Damn! I better go get myself a copy and get an autograph.

p/s : some time later, in a tiny foot-note on page number 7398 of the auditor-general's report in 2014, there will be a mention that the Barisan government spent billions of Ringgit purchasing 'educational materials' but very little for other stuffs in the overall annual government expenditure.

dukuhead said...

RM150 for a biography? Nigga PLEASE!

Anonymous said...

Great news - the condos must be worth much more now. This is indeed good investment. The government will be able to recover all the Ringgit lent to the operators when the time comes!

Anonymous said...

1) On that mamak kutty-ask him go to hell faster the better.
2) On Rosmah-of course lah,she won't be that stupid to be at the sence of murder.
3)On that lembu lady-she only got cow brain,so can't blame her for the statement she made.
4)On Najib-sendiri cakap,sendiri siok!(quote from his good friend CSL).
NIAMAH FULAT!

Anonymous said...

with all these high quality jokes and top gun jokers, we don't need Mr Bean or see reruns of the Three Stooges anymore. Or for that matter, the Mega Maharaja Lawak reality competition on Astro.

sri hartamas

Anonymous said...

PAT,
I need to buy this book for safe-keeping , another 100-200 year can refer as a standards, even british standard also cannot come close to our malaysian book. I better be quick to rush over the book store, ,I think all book store must be swallowing the bone from behind,if found for not keeping stock,otherwise lesen pun kena tarik!-niamah

Anonymous said...

buy-buy,buy otherwise, you are screw ! Gomen is shaking the book to the rest of the stupid fools, so better join the stupid fools rather than being kick out from civil service soon..
buy,buy,buy.
i am in tabung haji building for the wholeday, how can i involve killing people? worst lie of the century in history malaysia.

Rahmat said...

If so many people need the RM500 aid, it just goes to show that there are many needy Malaysians. Thus this is BN’s failure in managing the nation because there are still so many people who need the RM500 financial aid.

Zaid said...

Rosmah's biography is not worth 15 sen. But it is launched by Mahathir. All these are to give credibility to her words. Who believes Rosmah?

Who is she to go and give speeches on the development and progress of Malaysia? She is not a minister nor a senior civil servant. Looks like Najib's ministers are less capable than her that is why she has to go overseas and give such speeches.

Anonymous said...

Baca dan fahami betul-betul:-

Siapakah beliau..??Beliau dituduh anti melayu,anti agama islam,seorang yang rasis,melayu mundur dibawah beliau,islam semakin terhakis di bawah pemerintahan beliau.Beliau dituduh bermacam-macam perkara yang bukan dilakukannya.Tapi beliau tetap tenang sahaja.P.Pinang dikatakan mundur dibawah pemerintahan beliau.NAMUN Pelaburan tetap masuk di P.Pinang.Pulau Pinang dibawah beliau, jelas cekap, bersih dan bebas dari pengaruh penyeleweng ,Pemerintahan beliau melaksanakan dasar "Cekap, Akauntabel & Telus". Pencapaian Pulau Pinang dipuji oleh Transparency International, Kerajaan pertama di Malaysia yang memperoleh pengiktirafan tersebut.Pada masa yang sama, Pulau Pinang mengalami pertumbuhan ekonomi yang pesat dengan pelaburan tertinggi di Malaysia berturut-turut pada 2010 dan 2011.Pemerintahan beliau dipuji Organisasi Antarabangsa DAN usaha beliau memajukan agama islam terbukti dengan FAKTA..bukan seperti dituduh oleh orang yang tidak suka dengan beliau.beliau bukan beragama islama tapi sumbangan beliau amat dihargai.Admin sertakan FAKTA:

FAKTA DARIPADA JABATAN HAL EHWAL AGAMA ISLAM PULAU PINANG

PERUNTUKAN BERKAITAN HAL EHWAL AGAMA ISLAM
Tahun 2008 (BN) ..............RM25.7 juta
Tahun 2009 (PR)...........¬....RM33.2 juta
Tahun 2010 (PR)...........¬....RM38.9 juta
Tahun 2011 (PR)...........¬....RM45.7 juta
Tahun 2012 (PR)...........¬....RM64.03 juta

2. SAGUHATI TAHUNAN GURU KAFA
Tahun 2008 (BN)...........¬...RM659,000.00
Tahun 2009 (PR)...........¬....RM879,000.0¬0
Tahun 2010 (PR)...........¬....RM913,200.0¬0
Tahun 2011 (PR)...........¬....RM900,000.0¬0
Tahun 2012 (PR)...........¬....RM900,000.0¬0

3. PERUNTUKAN TAMBAHAN TAHUNAN UNTUK SEKOLAH AGAMA RAKYAT (SAR)
Tahun 2008 (BN).............TIADA
Tahun 2009 (PR).............RM1.50 juta
Tahun 2010 (PR).............RM1.75 juta
Tahun 2011 (PR).............RM1.75 juta

4. SUMBANGAN DAN PENGIKTIRAFAN AL-HUFFAZ
Tahun 2008 (BN)...........¬.TIADA
Tahun 2009 (PR)...........¬..RM75,000.00
Tahun 2010 (PR)...........¬..RM100,000.00
Tahun 2011 (PR)...........¬..RM130,000.00

5. SUMBANGAN EKYA' RAMADAN (KEPADA SELURUH MASJID)
Tahun 2008 (BN)...........TIADA
Tahun 2009 (PR)...........RM213,000.00 setahun bermula tahun 2008 selepas ambil alih pentadbiran negeri sampai sekarang.

6. PROGRAM BULANAN AL-QURAN
Tahun 2008 (BN)..........TIADA
Tahun 2009 (PR)...........RM100,000.00 setahun

Admin #AMBANG 13 [ANAK MUDA BANGKIT] berharap semoga pemahaman anda yang mengatakan bermacam-macam tuduhan terhadap beliau terhapus atas penjelasan ini.

KAMI PAKATAN RAKYAT - ♥ PAS,PKR & DAP ♥

Bujur lalu melintang patah~
Tiada gencatan senjata. lawan tetap lawan !!!

┈┈┈┈┈┈▕▔╲
┈┈┈┈┈┈┈▏▕
┈┈┈┈┈┈┈▏▕▂▂▂
▂▂▂▂▂▂╱┈▕▂▂▂
▉▉▉▉▉┈┈┈▕▂▂▂▏
▉▉▉▉▉┈┈┈▕▂▂▂▏
▔▔▔▔▔▔╲▂▕▂▂▂I

Ellese A said...

I thought there's more funny things which you purposely didn't highlight. In pr manifesto, pr in the same breath said it wants to promote Malaysian first above race and support racist education policy segregating our kids since young by race. They support apartheid policy depriving my children of friends from other race. Can you believe that? it's DAP driven typical propaganda. It's really funny. They believe its right for children to be separated and expect them when adult to be suddenly forget about race and become Malaysian first. Niamah. Calling people racist but they are racist. And you know what most of their supporters suffer from the same immorality problems. Most and probably include one famous bigot who already apologized perpetuate this racial divide by sending their kids to vernacular school. Then out loud claim they're Malaysian first. Funny.

What is funnier is that most argue they do this because our education is bad. The funny thing is that DAP never argued its because of that. They've supported this racial superiority cause since merdeka when we were under English syllabus. And don't forget the vernacular and SK schools have similar syllabus. Funny how people justify racism. But since most here are bigots I don't think they find it funny.

Zed Z said...

Papagomo is just another Dogg of dumno and have no principle. This stupid dogg have shamed his Parents just for dirty money. He is a GOOD Muslim #@$$$$%^^^^????? Or Is He really a good Muslim who prayed 5 times a day? God /Aallahh Knows?

Anonymous said...

Erm..its RM0.83 per page for Rosmah's book. Heh. Just sayin'. I wouldn't buy it even if its on sale. Its good for a laugh tho..regarding the altantuya case..."i was not involved as i was at the Tabung Haji building from evening till midnight. There were many eyewitnesses there”. OMG!!! Hilarious!!

Nuffnang